Running thoughts

So many pregnancy thoughts running through my brain. I mean, I don’t expect us to conceive in the first month, but I will be disappointed if we don’t.

I KNOW that at our age it could take longer to get pregnant. I KNOW that even with the healthiest and most fertile couples it can take a few months to get the timing right.

I KNOW that there are things that we could be doing, but for now we are not. CP and I are not taking my temperature or using other methods to figure out when we should be hopping into bed. Frankly that doesn’t sound very sexy. I did download an app onto my iTouch where you can chart your period. It tells you based on your cycle when you could be ovulating, but obviously it is just a guess. I mainly downloaded it because without the pill to know where I am in my monthly cycle, my period would probably just sneak up on me!*

I KNOW in the back of my mind that I could be infertile for no reason at all, or that CP could be shooting blanks. But I don’t expect that to happen to us. We joke about buying the house and then not being able to have kids…then just getting a bunch of dogs and they each would get a room. But I would be pretty devastated if that happened. For something that I haven’t wanted until fairly recently, it’s something that I really want.

I KNOW that there are only really five days when a woman is fertile and once those days are up, you have to wait another month to try again. It’s just such a short window. If it doesn’t happen this month, the wait until the next month will be arduous (not the practice though! :-) ). And I wish that I could talk to a friend about it, but I understand CP not wanting to broadcast to the world that we are trying. I feel a little crazy about some of the thoughts that are running through my head.

I KNOW that part of the reason that I am hoping that we get pregnant on the first try is because once I have made up my mind on a path I am taking, I go for it. It’s my personality. Once we decided we were going to scrap the move to Denver, I went full force into finding a place in CT. And now that it has been over a month since I stopped taking the pill, it’s time to get pregnant. NOW. I wouldn’t say that I am necessarily stressing about all of this, but it is definitely on my mind.

Despite only having five days of fertility a month, I have to have hope that if people in drunken one night stands can get pregnant, so can we! Ha!

Sorry if this post is all over the place. Just various thoughts running through my mind.

*And yes, I realize that it is sad that a 31 yr old woman forgets these things, but remember that I have been on the pill since Sophomore year in college. I haven’t had to think about it in YEARS (and before that I would forget all the time too).