Goodbye Koda

Thursday was a sad day for the NSC household. CP and I had to make the very difficult decision to put Koda, aka Fuzzy Britches, to sleep right before her 10th birthday.

While my MIL was in town the week before Christmas Koda suddenly fell as she was trying to get up. She lost control of her hind legs for a few hours. Thankfully CP slept downstairs with her and we waited to see how she was doing in the morning- amazingly, she bounced back. Koda tended to do that. She was a tough girl- she had powered through bloat surgery AND ACL surgery all in one year- but once in a while would look like there was something really wrong with her only to have her be okay a few hours later.

I had a sinking feeling that her losing control of her legs was the beginning of the end though. The right side of her head had really started to bulge out from the bone tumor. We are not sure if she could see through her right eye anymore because the third flap dogs have at the bottom of their eyes was sticking out and covering most of her eye. She was still wagging her tail and enjoying the snow, but right after we brought Izzy home CP had to start making Koda's meals as she couldn't open up her mouth very wide and couldn't chew hard food. She was pretty excited about the ground meat, sweet potato and rice concoction that CP made though; even Buster was jealous of her new food. For a while now it had been hard to get her outside- we would have to use a treat most of the time. But, we figured that it was okay to spoil her.  Not mention that even though it was wintertime, Koda randomly left large clumps of fur all over the place. 

From the moment I got downstairs Thursday morning though, she seemed different. CP takes the dogs out in the morning and before he left for work he informed me that Koda only ate a small portion of her breakfast. This was not a good sign as both dogs are very food motivated. Every hour or so throughout the day I would offer her the food simply to have her refuse.  Normally, she would sleep most of the day away, getting up to go outside, change position, eat, etc but this day she looked like she wanted to sleep but was too uncomfortable. It was hard to watch. I took the dogs out midday and instead of enjoying the snow by laying down in it or sticking her face in it, Koda peed then walked back towards the house.

I put the dogs' dinners down before CP got home. Buster gobbled his up as usual, Koda turned her head away. A few minutes later when she heard CP walk in the door she ate some of her food; I think she was really trying to please CP more than anything else. But after a few bites, she lay her head down and refused to eat. She walked over to CP and sat at his feet.

At that point, we both knew that she was not okay.  While both of us started crying, we started to discuss the night. Now that Izzy was here, she would complicate matters, but I wanted to be there. I couldn't imagine *not* going. Most of the car ride to the vet's office was in silence, but tears were streaming down my face the entire time. It was a good thing I had stuffed a bunch of Kleenex in my purse before leaving the house.

We both knew it had to be done but saying goodbye to her was so, so difficult. We elected to be in the room with her even though I debated on whether I could handle it. I remember watching a Celebrity Rehab where one of the "celebrities" had to put their dog down and just watching that had me bawling- and I didn't even know the dog.  The vet led us into a room with a big soft bed for Koda and told us to take as long as we wanted with her.  Once the vet came in, he administered the shot and within seconds her heart had stopped.  I had no idea it would happen so quickly.  I also don't think that I will ever get that last image of her out of my mind- her resting peacefully on that big dog bed.  She just looked like she was sleeping.  The rest of the night we were in shock that we were now a one-dog household.  When we got back to the house we put Koda's leash and collar in the regular bin and Buster came over to sniff it.  He seems a bit confused as to where she went....every time we put down food he waits for her to start eating first, even though she isn't there.  

Koda, you were a great dog and we will miss you very much.