Things left to do

Completed tasks for Baby #2:

-Infant car seat installed in the minivan

-Ergo purchased (the one I used with Izzy was a loaner)

-Childcare for Izzy and Buster procured (my parents)

Tasks in process:

-Sort hand-me-downs from friends into various sizes and wash

During Izzy's long nap on Sunday (we had a good pool workout that morning so she slept for almost three hours!), I opened up all of the bags and boxes of clothes we have received from two different friends. I was amazed at how many pieces of clothing we received- I really am not going to have to buy much of anything for Baby boy which is awesome! If he grows as fast as Izzy has been we don't spend that much time in each clothing size anyway.

Piles from L to R- newborn (0-3 mo), 3-6 mo, 6-9mo, 9-12mo, 12mo

Yet to do:
-Purchase diapers
-Bring down Izzy's old clothes from the attic and wash gender neutral clothes
-Bring down infant toys and contraptions from the attic (MamaRoo, playspace, bathtub, etc.)
-Purchase standing board for stroller for Izzy
-Set up Pack n Play with bassinet in our bedroom
-Pack hospital bag
-Book newborn photographer
-Finish all tasks at work and prepare the person who will fill in for me as much as possible

I feel like we should have more tasks to do to get ready for Baby Boy. What am I forgetting?

Make up vacation

As I mentioned before, CP and I were sad that our vacation up to Northern WI last month was a bust. So we batted around the idea of going somewhere this winter when I am hopefully pregnant, but not pregnant enough to not travel. My parents threw out the idea of going to Palm Springs right after Christmas and we contemplated that (my parents have a condo that they rent out there) but decided that since we have already been there, we wanted to go somewhere different.

My parents also have a timeshare through Starwood (Westin) and we checked out the various resorts but there aren't a ton and places like Atlantis in the Bahamas would be awesome, but we want to wait until Izzy is a few years older to take her there. Same with Orlando- we will do Disneyland at some point but not when Izzy is only two years old and not going to remember it.

With my family out we talked to my MIL to see if she would be interested in joining us on our vacation instead of coming out for Izzy's birthday or Christmas. She was on board and we started talking about Florida or somewhere in the Caribbean. That plan got scrapped when we checked out CP's airline miles and he talked to his coworker that is originally from Costa Rica. His coworker totally sold him on going to CR and since I have always wanted to go there I was on board from the beginning! It's only a 5 hour flight from Chicago, there will be plenty of animals to see/beaches/things to do for Izzy and it's going to be a vacation full of beautiful sites so I am SUPER PUMPED. This vacation is much more my style- yay for nature!

I late February we are flying into Liberia, Costa Rica on a Friday night and staying 9 days, eventually flying out of San Jose, Costa Rica. We definitely want to see Arenal (the amazing volcano), check out some beaches, and see fun animals. CP and I are hoping to get away to do a dinner just the two of us- maybe on the beach? I have always wanted to do that. If I am not pregnant we would love to do some scuba diving as well.

Any other travel tips of things to see/do in Costa Rica?

First time back at the RE

As I mentioned last week, I was nervous for my first visit back to my RE since they released me to my OB early last year. I pulled into the parking lot and had to take a few deep breaths before I walked in. I brought a picture of Izzy to show the front desk ladies and my RE and everyone gushed over the picture. After filling out a few forms, I was called back to my RE's office. She hugged me which was awkward and weird because I literally saw her a total of two times during our first IVF cycle- during our consultation and when she did my saline sonogram. She didn't even do my retrieval or the transfer! However, I always said that I didn't need any hand-holding as long as she could get me pregnant. Because she held up her end of the bargain, I decided that I could allow the hug. :-)

The appointment didn't last long. She asked how my pregnancy went and then went into discussing a frozen transfer. The embryo that turned out to be Izzy was an AA embryo (the best you can have); the frozen embryo is a BB (partially because it was frozen on day 6 because it was a slightly slower grower). She said that they behave very similarly. With a BB embryo the thaw is successful 95-98% of the time which is encouraging. My chance of getting pregnant is a little lower than two years ago but because it is a quality embryo, she gave us a 50% shot.

My RE did mention that although she doesn't see it too often, if my insurance company says that this frozen transfer will count as a retrieval (I get two more fresh cycles through insurance), then she recommended that I do a fresh cycle to make sure that I don't lose one. CP and I completely agree....although it would be really dumb for my insurance to do that. We'll see. 

The best news of all is that I got in to see her in the nick of time and if everything goes well we can do a January transfer (thus why the Santa Hustle 5K may be my last race for a while)! I should be getting my period any day now so I head in for my day 3 bloodwork and dildo cam ultrasound whenever that happens. Then on the 19th my doctor will do a saline sonogram to check out the contents of my uterus and the fibroid. If everything is okay with my tests then I will go on birth control to control my cycle, start giving myself shots of Lupron (the devil drug), inject myself for two weeks with estrogen, stick some progesterone up my vagina and have the transfer in mid January! The only annoying thing is that I will have to bring Lupron and needles on our trip to Spain, but I don't think that will be too big of a deal.

I left the appointment feeling SO hopeful which worries me. I am going to do my best to stay positive and hopefully we don't hit any obstacles along the way.

Pumping decision made

As you know, recently I have been struggling with the balance between providing Izzy all breastmilk and being a productive employee.  The past three months of pumping three times a day at work has been HARD.  Trying to figure out times to head down to a different floor in my building to pump while balance my need to participate in meetings, events not in my building, conference calls, and getting general work done has been difficult.  I often feel like I am rushed in everything that I do and can't take the time to sit down and really work on various projects for long periods of time.  Losing almost 1.5 hours a day is tough and my work has definitely suffered.

All of your comments on my post about when to stop breastfeeding were helpful.  They made me think about whether I could think about cutting back instead of stopping completely.  I mean, what was I most frustrated about?  Nursing every couple of hours on the weekends didn't bother me; nursing at night and in the morning on weekdays didn't bother me either.  Not drinking too much wasn't a big deal and pumping or nursing prior to runs really wasn't THAT awful.  And frankly, I would really miss nursing her if I stopped all together.  I realized that the biggest problem with exclusively breastfeeding was the damn pump during the work day.  I also realized that maybe I shouldn't think of my decision as being an all or nothing decision. I mulled over dropping down to two pumping sessions a day and whether that would work and make me happier- and I have decided to try that.

I talked CP about dropping a pumping session and supplementing with formula. It turns out that he was simply against me stopping breastfeeding because I beat it into his head prior to Izzy's birth that when breastfeeding got hard, I needed him to motivate me to continue and for him to support me.  I meant for him to do that in the early days of breastfeeding when it hurt- not six months into breastfeeding (but kudos to him for listening and doing his job)!  Once we got over the miscommunication, he was on board with whatever I wanted to do and liked the idea because it still meant that Izzy was getting breastmilk, and thus, the benefits of breastmilk.

Izzy turned six months last week and I talked to her doctor about supplementing with formula if I didn't produce enough after dropping a pumping session during the week.  He gave suggestions on formula- surprisingly, he did not recommend organic formula (not tested as much as regular formula and he thinks it was brought to market too quickly with a different formulation). With CP's blessing and the realization that Izzy would still  be getting plenty of breastmilk each day, I started pumping twice a day while at work this week.  

Before I got too far and couldn't get back my supply once it dropped, I had to make sure that Izzy would even eat formula. On Monday night I opened up the formula samples sent to me right before Izzy's birth. My doctor didn't recommend one over the other so I decided to try the Similac brand because they had four 2oz ready-made bottles in the box. I put the provided nipple on the bottle, took a deep breath, and proceeded to feed Izzy her first taste of formula. Turns out, she housed the 2oz. It was quite an impressive chug- and also the reason that we still have her on Level 1/Newborn nipples- with her parents' chugging backgrounds she needs a lower-flow nipple. ;-)  It felt weird to be feeding her something other than my breastmilk...but it also felt a bit freeing in a way.  Now that I knew that she would eat formula, I no longer had to worry about if my supply drops in the future for any number of reasons (including my monthly visitor). 

Yesterday was the first day I mixed formula in with her breastmilk bottles for daycare. It ended up being about 1-1.5oz of formula added to 3oz of breastmilk. I assume I will have to continue to do this and maybe supplement more as time goes on and my body adjusts to the 2 pumping sessions at work (today I didn't have to supplement at all). I'm not sure how it is going to work on the weekend when I nurse on demand...she may just need to have a bottle of formula in the middle of the day.  For right now though, she is nursed three times a day and gets 4 bottles during the week, so more than 80% of her calories is coming from breastmilk if I continue to only need 4oz of formula a day.

I'm sure that I will eventually be 100% fine with this decision.  If I had a friend that had the exact same situation I would support her in her decision to supplement and drop a pumping session.  It's silly that I am beating myself up about this because my daughter will thrive either way. I fully intend to keep nursing at least until she hits 9 months old, hopefully until she hits a year....but may need to supplement more as I get closer to those milestones.

*sigh*

When to try for #2

Most people say that you need to get out of the thick of sleep deprivation and crying/colic-y babies to even think about trying for baby #2.  In our case though, we had a baby that took three years to conceive (after a surgery, various drugs, two REs, a retrieval and a transfer). Once Izzy arrived, even though we were tired, it didn't matter.  She was so amazing that immediately our minds jumped to when to try for a second (and final) child. It seems fast, but there are a number of reasons that we want to get back on the baby train. It didn't hurt that Izzy was such a good newborn....although we fully recognize that if we are lucky enough to have #2, he or she is probably going to be the complete opposite of Izzy! (Note: despite the fact that we have talked about #2, please know that we have fully been and continue to be "in the moment" at every stage with Izzy.)

The conversation with my OB at my six weeks postpartum visit about birth control was a joke. I know that there are tons of stories about people that are suddenly fertile after doing IVF. I hold no nope that the fertile unicorn dust will enter into my life. We have male and female factor infertility in our relationship. I still have a fibroid hanging out in my uterus (has it gotten bigger/smaller since the c-section?  Who knows) and although I should not have any endometriosis at the moment, it could return with regular menstrual cycles and if I am part of the 50% of women that get endo removed simply to see it come back again. I also am working with a short luteal phase (although maybe not any longer?  Details in my next post) and wonky hormones that are out of normal ranges.

Adding up all of those factors, we hold out no hope for natural conception and CP and I made the decision to not take any birth control. I could give my body some time off from drugs and then I also don't have to worry about birth control messing with breastfeeding. (This may change- details tomorrow.)

So what is the plan? My OB recommended waiting 18 months between births for the uterus to completely heal. Basically, once Izzy turns 9 months old (end of August) we could start trying again. After some discussion, we have decided that we would like to do a frozen transfer of the one frozen embryo we have in January. That gives my body a few extra months to heal and gets us past the craziness of Thanksgiving/Izzy's first birthday/Christmas/etc. Depending on how long I breastfeed, it also gives me at least a month or two to have my body back before (hopefully) needing to restrict myself with food/alcohol due to pregnancy.

Obviously we hope that we are as lucky as the first time and that the embryo sticks and I have an uneventful pregnancy resulting in our second and final child. But just because we were lucky the first time doesn't mean that it will happen again. So the other part of the rush to get pregnant again, if possible of course, is because if I have to do another fresh cycle then we will no longer be working with my 34-year old egg embyro, but my 36 year old eggs. With my somewhat wonky hormone levels my body is not expected to yield very many eggs (like last time) which could lead to more cycles down the road if things don't go well. CP is turning 38 next month and like me, wants to get the show on the road so that we can finish our family building as soon as possible.

The second round of IVF will be interesting. I think that I won't be so nervous about the actual process, sticking needles into my belly, etc. There also won't be as much pressure because we do have Izzy. I think the next six months or so will go by quickly....and then we will have to see what happens! For now I am hopeful....but that might just be because I can enjoy Izzy and not think about my infertility for a few more months....

Seeking long hours

Yesterday afternoon was quite a mess.  There was a switch problem on the commuter rail so when I arrived at the main station to catch my usual 5:25pm train home, the place was in utter chaos.  Trains that were supposed to have left 50 minutes ago were delayed and there were so many people in the station you could barely move.  The terminal was hot (it was a 90 degree day yesterday in Chicago) and too many people for my liking were bumping into my belly.  I managed to get on my train after using some of my some of my high school basketball box-out moves, but the train kept stopping and starting once we left the station.  Not sure why, but the severe thunderstorms were probably not helping.  It didn't help that the a/c didn't seem to be working and there were tons of people packed into the train.  A great combo.

Halfway through the train ride I realized that I was supposed to pick up Buster from doggie daycare and that I wouldn't make it before closing.  I got in touch with CP who was at a happy hour at the time and told him that he needed to do the pickup.  He made it just in time and I finally got home at 6:30.

I tell this story because after an email from a friend in Denver who is pregnant and looking into daycare options, I realized that we may need to look into these things soon as well.  So I made an Excel spreadsheet of all of our options here in our town, both facility places and in-home places that I could find on the internet.  Some places I think will be ruled out simply on hours alone.  Sure I work from home two days a week and those days will be easy in terms of pickup and dropoff, but the three days that I leave the house between 7-7:30am and don't get home until 6pm?  If there are train problems or other issues, well, it is going to be difficult. Not to mention we have to pick a place that works with MY schedule because who knows when CP is going to be in town to help out.

And then yesterday CP was in a meeting with some of his higher-ups and was told that his group is being moved to a different facility- 30 minutes north of his current building.  Once that change occurs this fall, when he is in town his commute jumps from 25 minutes to almost an hour- while I am going an hour the opposite way into the city.  CP is understandably pissed as when he took this job last year he was not told that this could be an option.  His boss knows that he is not happy either, so hopefully CP can work it so that he works from home one or two days a week.  Ugh.

Just another reason we need to find a daycare with long hours.  Blergh.

Spring 2013 planting

I made good use of my bed rest/free time on Sunday.

First, after reading about a documentary called "The Staircase" in Entertainment Weekly, I decided to try to watch all of the episodes OnDemand.  Unfortunately, they only had the last two parts of the documentary, but I found the earlier parts on the Sundance Channel's website and YouTube.  The documentary is pretty good and with each episode you go back and forth on whether the husband is guilty or not.  (I'm currently on episode #5.)  I don't usually watch the Sundance Channel, but they have been hyping up another miniseries called 'Top of the Lake" with Elizabeth Moss (from Mad Men).  I've been hearing good things about that series as well so I DVR'ed it last night.

My other major task on Sunday was to plan out our front, side, and back flower gardens.  If you remember, this past fall we hired a landscaper to come out to the property and rip out all of the nasty, overgrown bushes and ground cover (Before and After pictures).  Well, now everything is bare so we have to spend some money on making everything look pretty!

I spent a considerable amount of time figuring out when everything would bloom and trying to space that out throughout the spring and summer and also looking at height/spacing/a variety of shapes/ etc.  I planted tulips and daffodils last fall and they are just starting to peep out of the ground.  My goal on Sunday was to find no-care or low-maintenance perennials so that I could plant them and forget about them!

Here what I have ordered for this year:

Front of the House Garden 
(will not have full sun because of a large tree)

Black Eyed Susans.  Had these in CT and loved them.

Cherry Brandy Black Eyed Susan.  I've never seen this before and I needed some red.

Pink Sensation Aconitum.
I had never heard of Aconitums, but they were recommended by my mom's Perennial book for no-fuss and no problems with insects.

Napellus Aconitum

Darwin's Blue Veronica

Twilite Prairieblues Bapista.
Another plant I have never heard of but gets high marks from the Perennial book.

Solar Flare Prairieblues Bapista

Behind the House and Garage 

(little/no sun) 

Blue Mouse Ears Hosta.
I bought this partly because the name is adorable.  :-)

Blue Mammoth Hosta.
As the name suggests, these get pretty big.

Tokudama Flavo-Circinalis Hosta

Side of driveway (mostly sun)

For this area, I went with all daylilies that bloom at different times of the summer.

Frans Hals Daylily

Black-Eyed Stella Daylily

Pardalinum Tiger Lily

Red Tiger Daylily

Pink Tiger Daylily

Strutter's Ball Daylily

Yellow Tiger Daylily

Did I mention how much I like flowers?  :-)

Any suggestions on some of your favorite no-fuss perennials? 

CP and I are also working on planning out our garden beds this year. I can't wait for fresh veggies once again!



*Pictures from Hollandbulbfarms.com and Rootsrhizomes.com (where I bought the plants).  This is not an advertisement for these companies nor have I been given free plants (boy that would have been nice!).*

Annoyed

I have a couple of things on my mind today....

• Last week I spoke to the nurse at my RE's office about the new fibroids.  CP and I thought that it might be best to just schedule the surgery now so that I have time to heal before starting IVF in January.  The doctor pushed back on rushing into surgery because if the fibroids are still there at my next ultrasound and she has to remove them, I would only be sidelined for 2-3 weeks, thus not affecting the January start date. (woo hoo!) Right now I will have another ultrasound in Nov after my next period, a saline ultrasound on Nov 19th, and the nurse added me to the surgery list on Nov 27th.  I will  have to take the day off of work, but can work the next day.  I'm happy to hear that the surgery won't sideline me for a long time and that the new fibroids won't affect our plan for January.
• I'm a little annoyed at CP today for two reasons- both of them infertility related.  First, CP and I were driving in the car last night and I told him that I would be meeting someone from an infertility support group tonight for drinks.  He immediately started to laugh (as I expected).  (The RESOLVE meeting was cancelled last week because the facilitator was sick, but I think that she felt bad so she offered to go for drinks or coffee with me this week.  I thought, why not? So I agreed to meet her tonight.)  CP asked what mental anguish I was going through from infertility as to need a support group.  I explained that it would be nice to have someone that I could talk to in person about issues/emotions/etc surrounding infertility.  He thought that I should be able to talk to our doctor or nurse about it; I told him that they may not have been infertile themselves so how would they be helpful?  I told him that I didn't see any harm in meeting this woman or possibly attending a group.  If I don't like it I never have to go back again.  But what is an hour or two of my time once a month?  I think that he still thinks that it is silly, but frankly I don't care.
• The second story also happened last night.  When we went to see our RE, she put CP on a bunch of vitamins that should help his sperm for IVF.  He has to take three pills two times a day and then a multivitamin once a day.  I guess the pills give him some heartburn at night so he started complaining about them last night.  I got him some water and was shocked to hear him say "if this keeps happening I'm not taking them anymore."  Really???!?  A little heartburn?  After I went through an invasive surgery, invasive tests, a dildo probe every time I head to the doctor, AND I will probably have to have another surgery??  And you are complaining about HEARTBURN?!??!  Give me a break.  Men are such pansies sometimes.

A plan!

Yesterday was our consult with our new RE.  We had a couple of hiccups- the doctor ran an hour late because of a patient emergency (the nurse called us ahead of time so that we didn’t sit in the waiting room the whole time), the office never received my new patient forms so we had to fill out all 10 pages again, and my previous office in CT never sent over my records, despite the fact that I contacted them months ago about doing so.

Despite the hiccups, the visit went well.  I did some homework prior to the appointment and found out that I may be eligible for a health insurance through my job that would cover IVF and fertility drugs.  I probably don’t need to tell you that THIS WOULD BE HUGE.  Like SAVING SH*T TONS OF MONEY huge.  I am crossing EVERYTHING right now that I will be eligible (I should know in about a month).  If I am able to sign up for this insurance, it wouldn’t kick in until January 1^st.

With that January 1^st date in mind, we discussed an IVF timeline.  I know that CP is chomping at the bit to get going on IVF treatments, but we have three months left in the year and that’s it.  

My current insurance is diagnostic only.  Tomorrow I will go in for baseline bloodwork and the oh-so fun dildo vaginal ultrasound to make sure that my fibroid hasn’t come back (it has been almost a year since my surgery).  Next month I will have a saline ultrasound to make sure that everything is good to go with the first round of IVF.  I will also start birth control pills.  Ahhh the irony of taking birth control pills while infertile…..but they do have a purpose- to shut down my ovaries.  I guess the reason for this is so that all of the follicles (when stimulated with drugs) will ripen at approximately the same time.

Meanwhile, I have to run to the drug store today to grab CP some vitamins that the clinic suggests:  200 mg of Coenzyme Q10, 500 mg of L-Carnitine, and 500 mg of Acetyl-L-Carnitine.  He’s not great about taking his multivitamin so I’m going to have to keep on him to take all of these too!

A plan!  Hope!  Moving forward!  Yay!

My head is still spinning

What a short but productive weekend in Chicago.  It left me very overwhelmed, but ready to make lists, contact people, and get going on the house NOW.

Friday morning CP had to work- but at least it was from “home” (the extended stay hotel).  I didn’t want to bother him too much so I headed to a nearby Forest Preserve for a 5 mile walk/run workout.  It was already super hot and I forgot water so towards the end it was definitely more of a walk, but a good workout nonetheless.  Thank goodness for all of the trees as the shade helped a lot.

Great view for the beginning of the workout

Later on in the day we met with a loan officer to figure out our options for improvements to the house, then headed downtown on the train to meet up with friends and their twins, then have dinner with my parents.

Saturday morning CP and I headed to the house with my parents to meet with a plumber, an electrician, two hardwood flooring people, and an HVAC person.  Oh and for me and my mom to see our new house for the first time.  :-)  I’m not going to lie, the two hours in the house left my head spinning.  So much to do, so many different contractors to coordinate.  Overall, the layout of the house is great, the rooms are big, and the neighborhood is nice.  Once we do some painting, take down a lot of wallpaper, put our furniture in, and get the house updated to 2012 it will feel more like home.  We also have A LOT of yardwork to do.

Afterwards we headed to a huge appliance store and because my head was still spinning, I wasn’t much help.  Thank goodness my dad stepped in with all of the appliance measurements and the research that he did online.  We then purchased a new cooktop (CP is very excited about the 5 burners instead of the usual 4), a double oven, dishwasher, fridge, washer, and dryer.  Yeah, it was an expensive day.  But since the appliances aren’t working, it was necessary.  We decided to go with all stainless steel because eventually if we bump out the kitchen we may want an oven with a range instead of two separate appliances, but hopefully we can resuse a lot of what we bought.  And if we don’t reuse it stainless steel is something that everyone wants in their kitchen.

The bad news is that we couldn’t find a cooktop that fits in the current counter cutout.  They just don’t make that size anymore (it’s tiny).  Soooo we are going to have to redo the kitchen a bit more than we had hoped.  Instead of just painting the yellow metal cabinets (yikes) and dealing with the Formica counters until our redo, we will be installing granite counters, a new stainless steel sink, and a new faucet.  Since we just did this in our rental place out west last year we knew that it wouldn’t be too expensive, but it’s a couple thousand that we hadn’t counted on spending.  Hopefully between the new counters/sink/floor (we will refinish the hardwood below the laminate) and painting the metal cabinets the kitchen will look a whole lot better.

I had an uneventful flight back to CT yesterday, and soon after arriving home I was on the road driving up to NH to take care of my FIL and his wife’s four cats.  The drive wouldn’t have been so bad other than the fact that it was pouring rain for an hour of the drive when I was on windy, hilly two lane roads in VT.  I had my wipers going as fast as possible and my max speed was 40 as I was in no mood to kill myself.  After getting past the torrential rain obstacle, I then felt like I was part of the game Frogger as I swerved on back roads to avoid hitting frogs that had death wishes.  So much fun.

I am a big lover of animals, but I will never own a cat.  I know that cat owners feel like dogs are nasty, but to me, cats are nasty.  Cleaning up hair balls and cleaning out cat litter is about as disgusting to me as eating pig vomit.  It’s just not my cup of tea.  Plus cat litter makes the house smell and cats track it through the house on their paws.  Eww.  Anyway, the cats are all fine and will be very happy to have their parents home this week.  And I am happy to be back home (at least for the next three weeks).

How was your weekend?

Better to plan ahead?

As I have said many times before, I am a planner. Planning ahead is a great way to stay on top of things, but at times it can get you excited about things that never happen. You know, like the planning that I did in my head when we first started to try to make a baby….but that’s a different post.

This potential job in Chicago for CP requires a lot of planning ahead.

*We made a spreadsheet of all of the costs involved with moving and if it made sense financially.
*We made sure that the cost of living would be the same or lower so that we could still afford our lifestyle.
*We contacted our realtor who helped us buy our house for a comparative market analysis to make sure that we wouldn’t lose too much on the sale of our house despite only being in it less than two years.
*We checked into real estate prices in the burbs of Chicago to see what kind of house we would be able to afford.
*We thought about the furniture that we would sell/give away to make moving easier.
*We thought about ALL OF THE FOOD in our freezer (gallons of homemade beef broth, organic beef from our CSA, homemade meat pies, homemade Bolognese sauce, homemade sausage, etc.) and what we would do with it (a BIG PARTY!).
*I spoke to my boss about trying to transfer my job out to the Chicago office.
*I updated my resume and will start to apply to jobs out in Chicago because it may take a while.
*We thought about how to keep the house clean during showings and what we would do with the dogs.
*We bought plants and shrubs to landscape a bit more.
*We cleaned up the backyard.
*We put together a list of home improvement projects that would need to get done before our move.

A couple of these things we had meant to do anyway….but possibly having to put our house on the market pushed us to get these things done quickly.

But…..CP could totally bomb the interview on Tuesday (I don’t think that is going to happen, but you never know). CP could hear more about the job or the company and decide that it is not what he wants to do at all. It’s very possible that CP won’t even get an offer. And then we will have done all of this planning for nothing.

So in the end, is it better to plan ahead for something that may not happen? And risk getting let down from all of the excitement of making a huge life-changing decision? Or is it better to wait until you know more about the potential life-changing event and the possibility it may happen to you before doing anything?

Decisions decisions

Last week was our latest doctor’s appointment at the fertility clinic. CP and I went to discuss our options with the doctor now that the fibroid and the endometriosis is out of my body.

Right now we have three options: try on our own, an IUI, or IVF.

From age 30-35 (I’m 33), a Fertile person has a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant in a given month.

Same age range, but with an Infertile person the percentage drastically decreases to less than 5% in a given month (my surgery probably knocks me up a few percentage points, but not all of the way to that of a Fertile person).

If we decide to go the Clomid/IUI route, the percentage for my age increases to 10-12%.

If we try injectables with IUI, the percentage increases a bit more to 15-18%.

If the 3 IUIs that my insurance cover don’t work then IVF is our next step (you have to have a major justification to jump to IVF without trying an IUI first). The percentage of pregnancies after an IVF procedure jump to 50%!! I had no idea that you had a 50/50 shot of getting pregnant after IVF. According to my doctor my insurance covers 2 IVF procedures, but I’m not sure that’s correct AND getting CP on board for an IVF might be very difficult. Boy is it expensive if insurance doesn’t cover it though- $15,000-$20,000!!

In general I’m a bit confused coming away from the appointment. The doctor that did my surgery said that the endometriosis was the reason that I wasn’t getting pregnant, while this doctor said that it was the fibroid. Both of them are now out of my system but what if there is something else wrong? From my research (and what the surgery doctor told me), fibroids generally don’t keep you from getting pregnant, they generally cause a woman to miscarry. As far as I know, I have never been even a little pregnant.

We have been told that the most fertile time for me to get pregnant will be the first few months after my uterus has healed. Depending on when I get my first period since early September, we can start trying sometime in February. The question is- do we try on our own or do we go the IUI route? I asked about any side effects of Clomid and the doctor said there are usually two. Hot flashes (OH BOY THOSE AGAIN!) and PMS-like symptoms. That’s nothing too major- especially if I am only taking the medication for 5 days. Meanwhile, CP and I both remarked that we aren’t getting any younger. CP will be turning 36 in June and if we want to have two kids we need to starting getting on board the pregnancy train. But it would be nice to be like a “normal” couple and get pregnant on our own.

Decisions, decisions. We don’t have to make the call right now but we do have to think about it in the next month. Do we risk my most fertile months by trying on our own? Not only do we risk fertile months passing us by, but every month I don’t get pregnant is a month closer to when another fibroid could form or endometriosis could come back. So should we jump onto the IUI train?

Fertility busters

As you saw from yesterday's post, I survived my surgery. During my surgery I was placed on a table with an incline with my head towards the floor. I guess it helps to move the organs out of the way for the robotic arms to do their job. It took a little bit longer than expected because while the doctor said during the pre-op appointment that he would take a look around my uterus to make sure there was nothing else going on, he didn't expect to find a cyst and endometriosis.

I had some trouble waking up after surgery. CP was supposed to be able to see me afterwards (the doctor finished around 4:30pm) but around 6:30pm he left to take out the dogs and feed them. I remember being wheeled from the recovery room to my hospital room and every time we hit a bump it HURT. Once we got to the room I asked for CP and the nurses told me that he had to go home so I didn't get to see him until 8pm or so.

When CP told me about the extra infertility-causing items in my uterus, I was surprised, crushed and in a way, relieved. I guess I always figured that it couldn't just be the fibroid and CP's sperm. Maybe now that my uterus has been cleaned out CP and I won't even need the help of a fertility doctor?

But then again, cysts, fibroids, and endometrosis ALL can come back. Whichever way we work on getting pregnant, we need to do it as soon as my uterus heals (three months) so that the pregnancy will keep those things away. I definitely don't want to have to go on Lupron again, take birth control or go through another surgery.

Anxious

I’m a bit frustrated today. I finally got in touch with the nurse for the fibroid surgery and she told me that the reason I haven’t gotten a call to schedule my fibroid surgery is because my hospital is getting a new robotic arm and they don’t have the schedule yet. So hopefully I will have a better idea of when I could have the surgery by the end of this month.

I would like to get it scheduled because with Thanksgiving, our mid-December Bahamas vacation (which may or may not happen at this point) and Christmas, there is a small window of opportunity to have the surgery. I have to wait three months for the Lupron to work and I can’t start that until my third day of my next period (late this month). So late November would be the earliest I could have the surgery. I will probably be out 7-10 days and I don’t want to feel too crappy on our vacation, even if our plan is just lay by the pool and drink fruity drinks (with some scuba diving if I am allowed). Of course I also have to be cleared to fly too…. I also don’t want to feel crappy on one of the holidays because we will be with CP’s family and I don’t want to be cranky around them (despite the fact that they will completely understand why).

Of course I am already stressed about this which is silly, but something that I can’t seem to control.

And then I am also nervous because I spoke to one of my African American coworkers (MJ) and it turns out that she AND her twin sister have had the surgery. Fibroids happen more often to AA women (they have no idea why)- which makes me want to joke about what a mistake it was to date my AA boyfriend in college as he clearly was the cause of the fibroid (ha). Anyway, her sister took the Lupron shot and had the surgery three months later. MJ said that she was an emotional/hormonal basket case from the Lupron…which is what I am afraid of. I had a period of two months in law school where I went NUTS because of the weird birth control I was taking (lucky CP was out of town a lot from work or else we probably wouldn't be together!). Her sister was so crazy that MJ refused the shot prior to her surgery. I shared my fears of being crazy due to the Lupron with CP and he said he figured that it was going to be a hard three months. Oh boy.

So yeah, the planner in me is going nuts because I just want to be able to write my surgery date into the calendar so I can start mentally preparing. I am also anxious to meet with the oral surgeon at the end of this month and get things moving on my braces. *sigh*

August plan

My plantar fasciitis has been doing a bit better lately. I don’t hobble as much in the morning. I am happy about this because (obviously) it is nice to not be in pain and because I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to do the Hartford Marathon Relay with friends. The event is October 15th with 5 legs: 10K, 5 miles, 5K, 10K or 5.7 miles. I don’t want to be the person that does the 5K- because in my crazy mind it will look to others like the biggest person on the relay team is running the shortest distance because I can't physically handle long runs). That means that I have to get up and start running NOW so that I can be ready to run 5-6 miles by mid-October (aaaaaaand hopefully not be the slowest person out there).

I ended up running two slow miles yesterday. I didn't want to push too hard on my first run since June 5th. It felt nice to get out there and I didn't have any heel pain. Sadly, that was my first run IN ALMOST A YEAR without heel pain. Hopefully the pain will stay away. If it doesn't....well...I ran an entire half marathon training program and race with the pain so I will just run through it again. (Clearly that would NOT be ideal, but what can you do?)

Currently my worry is shin splints that literally just started to hurt this week. I have been doing a ton of walking with the dogs and I must not be wearing shoes that give me enough support because walking should be LOW IMPACT. I have had shin splints before- both in high school and college when playing tennis. They aren’t fun, but they are probably something that I can run through if need be. I will just start to ice and pop Advil when necessary.

But I have even more of an exercise plan in mind. Not only am I going to be starting up my running again, but I also have a recent Groupon for 30 days of unlimited yoga at a nearby studio! My plan is to go yoga-crazy the month of August because the pool at my gym is closed for two weeks anyway. With the plantar fasciitis and the shin splints, maybe I do need to spend more time stretching. And if I am getting back into running, I will need to do even MORE stretching.

I’m pretty excited and hope that I can follow through with a yoga class at least three times a week. Couple that with running and hopefully I will also have lost a few pounds before the two weddings we have to attend in early September!

Are you starting a new exercise program in August?

Planning

Sadly, no surprise visit from HGTV this past weekend. That means no Dream Home in Stowe, VT for us. We could have really used that $500,000 (and the vacation/ski house of course). :-(

However, we had a lovely weekend otherwise.

CP went on an adventure to a nearby Asian supermarket. It’s called “A Dong Supermarket.” It’s really hard not to laugh at the name. REALLY hard. Anyway, they have ALL kinds of weird and interesting stuff there. Plus it is all so cheap! So CP decided to buy a bird and cook it Saturday night. The only problem? It didn’t exactly have a label, so we have no idea if it was a duck or a goose. CP had to completely clean out its innards (he mentioned that after doing so he really likes when stores put the innards in a bag- it’s a much easier process). Plus, it’s head, feet, etc. were left on the bird.

Duck or goose?

He decided to break out his Vietnamese cookbook for a marinade, stuffed it with herbs and put it on the rotisserie on the grill.

In the end, we had no idea what it was, but it was delicious!

We also took the weekend to plan out our garden using measuring tape, sticks and rope. We have an odd shaped backyard and the sun only hits part of the yard so we tried a number of different layouts to try to get as much square footage for the garden as possible, while trying to keep a big chunk of the backyard for Fuzzy Britches, future children, etc.

Our odd shaped backyard using MS paint. The yellow is our house, the gray our garage, red is the patio and the green circle is a large tree (clearly NOT to scale). The sun starts on the right and travels left throughout the day.

We plotted out a few options, but didn’t like them or they didn’t provide enough gardening space. We wanted to keep the beds no wider than 4’ because it would start to get hard to weed in the middle otherwise. We also had to leave at least 2 feet in between the beds so that CP could mow the lawn. This is what we ended up with.

The ropes are kind of hard to see, but here it is in picture form:





The four rectangles on the bottom left will be part of the garden and the rectangle against the fence on the right will be another box that will be for climbing vegetables (probably beans). Not counting the climbing veggie box we are going to have more than 200 square feet of garden space. Woo hoo!

Next we decided to put in planters.

We will have one in the back of the garage. Right now our yellow siding inexplicably stops halfway down the garage and it is instead a slab of gray concrete. To cover that up, CP will make planters and we will have to put some sort of plant in that doesn’t need a ton of sun (so sadly, no flowers).

The other planter is going to go on the side of the patio. As you guys may remember we usually have A LOT of herbs growing during the warmer months. So CP is going to make a two-tiered set of planters for all of our herbs.

It probably won’t look as nice as these (also no lattice in the back), but CP has instructions on how to make planters and I’m confident that he will do a good job.

So, I think that we have an awesome plan in place to really spruce up our backyard AND have plenty of garden room. :-)

Extra expenses

Owning a house is expensive. CP and I knew that the first few months would be expensive and, as is normal in our household, we made a list of things that we needed to do/buy and the timeframe. Things like:

*Buying firewood

*Buying yard tools (rake, shovel, lawn mower, etc). Yard tools were something that our landlord left for us at our place in MA so that we could take care of his house.

*Buying chairs for our dining room table. Instead of buying expensive chairs, CP and I ended up going to IKEA and getting chairs there. Our rationalization is that they are MUCH cheaper than what we wanted to get, but we needed them before Thanksgiving and Christmas…or else we would be renting chairs for the holidays! Plus if we have kids we won’t care as much if crayons/markers/whatever else are used on them. We can always get something nicer down the road. For now, they look fine and are good enough.

*Getting the chimney swept

Despite our planning, extra expenses have cropped up:

*New fireplace glass doors because both the house inspector and the chimney sweeper said that the old one was unusable. Did you know how expensive these things are? Thank goodness for a good looking one at Home Depot! Otherwise we were looking at spending $750!! YIKES.

*A leaking dishwasher.

*Then yesterday I headed downstairs to take Fuzzy Britches out and see a small pool of water in our sunroom. Annnnnnd now we have a leak in the roof above the sunroom. Fanf*cking tastic.

We knew that we would need a new roof in 2-3 years and had already started to plan ahead for it (by putting it on our radar screen). But if the leak continues every time it rains or snows, we may need to think about a new roof next spring, which is a HUGE expense.

What does this mean? Well, the extra expenses have convinced CP and I that it is not quite time for a puppy. It pains me to say that, but if additional expenses continue to crop up, we will not be able to put aside the money that we need to in order to not only buy the puppy, but also continue to take care of it.

Stupid homeownership.

Torture

So after a downer of a Monday post (thank you for all of your comments btw), I turn to now being tortured by CP. Specifically, by an email he sent to me this morning.

This past weekend CP and I took Fuzzy Britches on a long walk at the nearby Reservoir. It was a pretty awesome walk as we saw a HUGE red-tailed hawk fly across the path and scoop up some sort of prey. He then sat in a tree as we walked by. We were bummed we didn’t bring our camera. :-(

Red-tailed hawk (picture from here)

So towards the end of the walk, we spotted another Bernese Mountain Dog. While we saw a lot of FB’s relatives out west, we haven’t seen too many in CT and MA. So we got to talking to Gus and his owner. Gus could have been FB's brother, just 50 pounds heavier (and taller). He had similar markings, they panted the same way, they sat the same way, and had other similar mannerisms. Adorable. Simply adorable.

Anyway, we asked where Gus came from and found out that he was from a breeder in NC (FB came from a breeder in PA). After we finished talking to Gus’ owner we remarked that we should look into the NC breeder if we were ever seriously going to think about getting another Berner. You have to be careful with overbreeding and hip problems with the breed. When we got home I looked up the website and almost died. Then I showed the website to CP who contacted them (without my knowledge). They then sent pictures like this:

Check out those paws!!!

All puppy photos from Swiss Kisz Farm

And they are so freakin’ cute that I just want to EAT THEM. Or snuggle with them.

So I emailed CP back and asked if he was having fun torturing me. He said that he was. (Jerk) I did mention that if he happened to think that getting a puppy was a good idea, the email did say that there will be a litter in December. Even if we get pregnant this month then that leaves two months or so to train the puppy before a baby would show up (thinking that the puppy would be 8 weeks or so in Feb)… So the puppy would be potty trained by then (right? It’s been a looong time since I have had a puppy). And I would have two months or so at home with a puppy and a baby.

Okay so maybe that is a crazy plan, but I don’t seem to be getting pregnant any time soon so we might as well work on the puppy. Right? ;-)

Sadly, since we are currently on budget crackdown (aka Operation Spend No Money), I can't imagine that he actually contacted them to seriously inquire into getting a puppy. I mean it would make an AWESOME anniversary gift, birthday gift, Christmas gift, etc......

*FYI- posting may be light the rest of this week as I am away on business and don't know if I am going to have access to a computer.*

Friends

We can all agree that moving to a new area is difficult as we get older. It’s not like school where a bunch of strangers are thrown together. It’s easier to make friends then as everyone is new. I haven’t switched jobs and none of my coworkers have suddenly gotten younger. But, there are lots of opportunities for me to make some new friends with a much larger town.

I now present to you my 10-point plan to make friends in my new area:

1. Put a post on Craigslist asking if anyone is interested in starting up a book club. I have already done this, but no one has responded (the CL board here is a little slow). But….I did find another girl who posted in a different section and we are going to join forces. Now if we could just find a few more ladies….

2. Join my town’s “Newcomer Club.” It’s a non-profit social organization that holds book clubs, new mom events, Bunco* and other activities for people new to town. I’m hoping that it is not a snobby Stepford Wife-type club where I won’t meet anyone fun, but I have already sent in my $40 and am hoping for the best.

3. Join Meetup.com and head to some events.

4. Try to get a happy hour going of all of the relative newbies to my job. There are a few of us under 40 so why not see if they are interested in hanging out after work? Now that I don’t have an hour commute home I am more interested in hanging out.

5. Get out and about as much as possible. Moving is difficult as you are unpacking for a while and thus inside your house, not enjoying the neighborhood. I have been trying to take Fuzzy Britches on nightly walks around our neighborhood (so far I have gotten a few waves from people driving by). I also went to a nearby park this past weekend. Fuzzy Britches and I ended up run/walking 4 miles and she got a lot of compliments (of course). :-) Because it is so close to our house I would love to become a regular there.

Okay so it’s not a 10-point plan, but I’m halfway there!

Anything else I should be doing?


*What the heck is Bunco anyway? I have only ever heard of it on the Real Housewives of the OC.

Running thoughts

So many pregnancy thoughts running through my brain. I mean, I don’t expect us to conceive in the first month, but I will be disappointed if we don’t.

I KNOW that at our age it could take longer to get pregnant. I KNOW that even with the healthiest and most fertile couples it can take a few months to get the timing right.

I KNOW that there are things that we could be doing, but for now we are not. CP and I are not taking my temperature or using other methods to figure out when we should be hopping into bed. Frankly that doesn’t sound very sexy. I did download an app onto my iTouch where you can chart your period. It tells you based on your cycle when you could be ovulating, but obviously it is just a guess. I mainly downloaded it because without the pill to know where I am in my monthly cycle, my period would probably just sneak up on me!*

I KNOW in the back of my mind that I could be infertile for no reason at all, or that CP could be shooting blanks. But I don’t expect that to happen to us. We joke about buying the house and then not being able to have kids…then just getting a bunch of dogs and they each would get a room. But I would be pretty devastated if that happened. For something that I haven’t wanted until fairly recently, it’s something that I really want.

I KNOW that there are only really five days when a woman is fertile and once those days are up, you have to wait another month to try again. It’s just such a short window. If it doesn’t happen this month, the wait until the next month will be arduous (not the practice though! :-) ). And I wish that I could talk to a friend about it, but I understand CP not wanting to broadcast to the world that we are trying. I feel a little crazy about some of the thoughts that are running through my head.

I KNOW that part of the reason that I am hoping that we get pregnant on the first try is because once I have made up my mind on a path I am taking, I go for it. It’s my personality. Once we decided we were going to scrap the move to Denver, I went full force into finding a place in CT. And now that it has been over a month since I stopped taking the pill, it’s time to get pregnant. NOW. I wouldn’t say that I am necessarily stressing about all of this, but it is definitely on my mind.

Despite only having five days of fertility a month, I have to have hope that if people in drunken one night stands can get pregnant, so can we! Ha!

Sorry if this post is all over the place. Just various thoughts running through my mind.

*And yes, I realize that it is sad that a 31 yr old woman forgets these things, but remember that I have been on the pill since Sophomore year in college. I haven’t had to think about it in YEARS (and before that I would forget all the time too).