June loves

Things that I am loving recently:

HBO GO

For those of you that have HBO, I would highly recommend HBO GO.  HBO puts all of their series, documentaries and even movies up on the site and you can stream them whenever you want.  I have the iPhone app and during my lunch I have been catching up on True Blood.  The site even remembers where you are in the show so the next time you turn on the app or the next time you watch the show at your computer, the show starts up right where you left off. 

By the way, friends begged me to start watching True Blood and although it is cheesy and silly at times, it’s not too bad.  Of course nothing compares to Game of Thrones (a show that I can now watch over and over and over and over because of this site).  :-)

Surface Bassu Hydrating Masque  

When my hair stylist recommended that I start using a hydrating conditioner (in addition to my everyday conditioner), all I thought was, how much is this going to cost?  Turns out not very much.  I think that I might have paid $25 for the bottle and I only use a dime size dollop of it about two times a week (you have to leave it in your hair for about 2 minutes while in the shower).  I have had the bottle for over a year and I'm still not halfway through it.  It smells amazing (almost like a freshly-baked cake) and makes my hair feel 10 times softer.  Even though I only get my hair cut every 12 weeks or so, I don’t have as many split ends and my hair is healthier.  BUY THIS PRODUCT.

Columbia Back Up Just Right Pant

I kid you not- these are the most comfortable pants in the history of the world.  And the best part about them?  You can take them hiking OR wear them to work (yes I wore them to work yesterday).  These pants are extremely comfortable and look like black dress pants.  My only complaint is that they put the Columbia logo on the back side of the pant- which is fine, but I have to make sure that I wear a long enough shirt to cover up the logo when I wear the pants to work.  Yeah.  Love these things.  Will buy another pair soon.

Passion flavored Tazo tea

I generally hate iced tea.  I love hot fruity teas and hot Chai tea, but hate when they are iced.  But this tea changed my mind.  I have been trying to drink less Crystal Light because it has all kinds of artificial ingredients….but needed something else to drink other than water.  Now all I have to do is heat up the tea kettle, hang three bags of the tea into the pitcher and voila!  Three minutes later I have delicious iced tea.  Love it.

The neighborhood around our new house in IL

Yes that’s right!  The seller verbally agreed to our last and final offer yesterday.  We had to come up a bit from our first offer, but my Dad thinks that we got a great deal.  So I have been checking out what is around our new place and have found some cool things about our new place.  It is 2 blocks away from the train station that is going to take me downtown to work every day, 2 blocks away from the Public Library, 2 blocks away from a park, 2 blocks away from another public park (this one with a swimming pool, tennis courts, baseball field, etc), and 2 ½ blocks away from an ice cream shop and other restaurants (that ice cream shop could be deadly to my waistline!).  It even looks like a poultry shop that has free range and hormone-free chicken and eggs is only a few blocks away!  It really is a fantastic location- maybe we can even get rid of one of the cars?

Houzz.com    

I found this site while perusing Pinterest and I LOVE it (it even has an iPhone app).  Designers and regular people can upload pictures of houses they have worked on and people like me can go on to the site, view the pictures, ask questions, and save the pictures to “ideabooks.”  This site is PERFECT for our fixer-upper because they we can get a bunch of ideas together and really decide what we want to do with the house.

Facetime
CP recently got an iPhone and I'm so glad that he did!  Last night was the first time we were able to use Facetime to talk to each other and it was great!  Not quite the same as talking to each other face-to-face, but better than just a phone call.  It will help get me through being stuck in CT until August.

What have you been loving recently?

*Sadly enough I was not compensated for these reviews, or even asked to do them.  Just thought I would spread the word about things that have been making me happy recently.  :-)

Waiting

I have to be honest- I am waiting for the other shoe to drop with this whole move to Chicago.  Things are going SO WELL and things are fitting right into place…..something has to go wrong.  It can’t be this easy.

I know that I shouldn’t have this fatalist attitude.  Maybe it is infertility that has changed my outlook in life.  But for some reason, I have a feeling that something is going to fall through.  Our house won’t appraise for enough money.  The closing won’t happen on time.  Something will happen and my transfer out to Chicago will no longer be available.  Or if we get the fixer-upper house there will be something like termites everywhere during the inspection.

Or even worse, I worry that something will happen to a member of my family before I get out to Chicago.  I don’t know why but I am anxious to get to Chicago because I have lived in a different state from my family for 8 years after leaving for college and then after only a year of living in Chicago before law school, another 7 years.  Living away from my parents didn’t bother me before, but I think that it is the knowledge that my parents are getting older….I feel like I am missing out on spending valuable time with them.  I don’t think that they are going to drop dead tomorrow, but you never know when you are going to get in a car accident.  That goes for CP too- what if something happens to him before I get out to Chicago? 

If something happens to anyone before I get out there I am going to feel so guilty.  It’s not like that is a rational thought though- there is nothing I can do about being here in CT.  But it is the fact that I could have been making memories and spending time with my family….and instead I am out here.

Aren’t these awful thoughts?  But I can’t get them out of my head.  What is wrong with me?  I certainly hope that I am wrong….

Do you ever have thoughts like this?  Thoughts that things are going too well?

Getting into shape

It has been 5 days since I have seen CP.  Currently it just feels like he is away for the week on a business trip.  The only difference so far is that I had to mow the lawn last weekend (not fun people, not fun).  I also stayed busy over the weekend with friends and the dogs so I’m sure that helped.  At least I can look forward to my trip to Chicago in mid July.  CP was just told yesterday that he will have a trip down to Atlanta for work the week that I am flying in- I’m hoping that he won’t stay in Atlanta that entire week!

I’m also trying to keep myself busy by getting back in shape.  I’m sure that it is no secret that I haven’t been exercising much around here.  And my eating hasn’t been amazing either.  So…while I have all the time in the world to myself, I will work on myself and my body. 

First order of business will be whipping myself into shape using 30 Day Shred.  I have tried to do this before and have failed to finish (I don’t think that I have ever made it to Level 3).  My first day was Sunday after I took the dogs for a 45 minute walk and mowed the lawn.  The second day I was a bit sore because I haven’t weight trained in a while….but I pushed through it and felt great afterwards.  Yesterday I tried to talk myself out of it but pushed through that as well.  Today I am going to have to fit in my workout during lunch.  I am DETERMINED to do it every day and look at least a bit more toned come mid July before my trip to see CP. 

I don’t even have to mention that getting back into shape will only be better for any IVF treatments I have in my future.

Second order of business is to eat better.  I am already eating more salads with lettuce and sugar snap peas from our garden.  I currently have a huge bag of swiss chard from our garden in our fridge, just waiting to be cooked.  I also have a bumper crop of yellow wax beans and green pole beans.  With all of these fresh veggies I shouldn’t be hungry for poor food choices because I don’t want anything to go to waste.

I’ll keep you updated on my progress!

Offer

So yeah, CP put an offer in on the major fixer-upper last night.  He viewed the house again with my dad and our realtor, and oddly enough the seller’s realtor also showed up.  The seller’s realtor walked them through the house, pointing out any flaws and things that we should take into consideration.  I guess that she lives in the same town and would be a neighbor, so she wanted to make sure we knew what we were getting into (the answer to that is no- ha!).  Plus she said that the seller would rather not deal with too many inspection items so it would be better to lower the offer now.

We lowballed our offer due to the fact that we are going to have to put A LOT of money in the house.  Well, I say “we” but really it was all CP and my Dad.  I knew that they were viewing the house at 6pm last night and finally at 8pm I broke down and called them to see what was going on.  Turns out they were “about to call me” to tell me about the offer.  It annoyed me that no one called me to discuss how to price the offer.  I get that CP and my Dad were there with our realtor and that CP and I had already discussed him putting an offer in the night before, but still.  It is my paycheck that will have to pay the mortgage.  At least call me to give me a heads up.

Anyway, from the first day we will be able to live in the house as almost everything is working and safe, but very outdated.  (There may be asbestos in the tiles in the basement and the cooktop is currently not working.)  If we end up getting the house, we have A LOT of work ahead of us.

I have a teensy bit of doubt that this is the house for us at this moment simply because we are trying to add a child into our family, but who knows how long that is going to take.  And a lot of the work that needs to be done will not be done by me and CP because it is going to be too technical.  CP and I have always said that we aren’t going to stop living our lives while trying for a kid (other than foolishly spending money of course), so if we could get this house it will be a steal….even if it needs a bunch of work.

Cross your fingers our offer (or a subsequent offer) is accepted!

Fixer-upper

Things move quickly around here-it’s hard to keep up with everything!  CP left early Saturday morning and made it safely to my parents house that night. 

Then yesterday CP went to check out an open house.  You see, my dad has been checking out listings ever since we started talking about moving (yes, even before CP got the job offer!).  Needless to say, he has steered us towards a few houses and is convinced that this house is THE house for us.  The online pictures had us interested, but the house also looked a little rundown and outdated.

Sure enough, the pictures didn’t lie.  The seller has lived in the house about 50 years and hasn’t updated it in a very, very long time.  He has clearly “fixed” the house himself for a while- including one odd “fix” in the basement- an old ironing board that is currently holding up duct work!  Every single room needs updating- including bumping out the kitchen wall (currently the kitchen is TINY), and redoing both of the bathrooms (read= EXPENSIVE).  Even the landscaping is overgrown.

But CP and my dad both see potential in the house.  Sure it is a MAJOR fixer-upper, but it is only a few blocks from the train station that I could take downtown to work.  It is in a very nice neighborhood with two parks (including a town pool) only a few blocks away and great schools.  If we fixed up the house and updated it the neighborhood would definitely hold the value.

Before CP left we discussed the fact that he may have to buy a house without me seeing it first.  While that scares me, I trust CP (and my dad).  So CP, my dad, and our realtor are scheduled to see the house tonight.  My dad has already drawn up plans on how to bump out the kitchen, how to add a fourth bedroom and a third bathroom (if he didn’t become a lawyer he would have become an architect)- which obviously won’t be happening any time soon for money reasons.  We hope to be in this house for years on end- not just two years like every other place we have lived in which means technically we should have plenty of time to fix up the house.

Depending on how it goes tonight, we may be putting an offer in to the first house that CP looks at in the Chicago area….  SCARY!

CP's last night in CT

Tonight is CP’s last night in CT.  I can’t believe that he is leaving for IL already.  All of his clothes are gone from our closet which completely weirded me out this morning.  He has been enjoying his week of freedom from work, even if it has been 90+ degrees for the past three days.

We are headed to a friend’s house tonight to hang out before CP leaves early tomorrow morning.  I know that it is silly, but I am likely to cry tomorrow morning as he is leaving because I won’t see him for three weeks.  And even then, my trip out to Chicago in mid-July will be a quick long weekend to house hunt.  I know that there are plenty of people that go long periods to time without seeing their significant others, so three weeks to those people is nothing.  But I function a lot better when I am in the same state as my husband.

Living in our house without him is going to be weird.  He had to teach me how to use our lawn mower a few days ago- that machine and I are not going to be friends.  And today when I get home from work I get to learn how to use the weed wacker- joy! (eye roll)  The sugar snap pea plants, the green pole bean plants, the yellow wax bean plants, the lettuce, and the swiss chard plants are currently growing like crazy in this weather- I have no idea how I am going to keep up with eating everything without him!  The dogs are definitely going to miss him and I will miss that he gets up early to take them out on the weekends.  :-)

My saving grace is that I will still be around friends- hopefully I will stay nice and busy while he is gone so that I don’t have to dwell on it too much.  While I won’t starve without him, I certainly will not eat as well as when he is around.  Yesterday he even made me a big pot of chili so that would have food through the weekend (awww he is so sweet).  I have already stocked up on Ramen for those days that I just don’t want to cook.*

So if my writing sounds sad or depressed until August 3^rd when I pack up the car with my clothes and the dogs for what should be a really fun day drive (insert another eye roll), you know why.

*Yes I realize Ramen is NASTY and processed, but it is also inexpensive and we are trying to save money for a larger down payment in Chicago.  Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Consultation

This morning CP and I went in for a consultation with our fertility doctor.  We came away with a few bits of insight:

·         Generally, if 3 IUIs don’t work, then it is time to move on to a more aggressive treatment.  Our doctor suggested that a fourth IUI wouldn’t be in our best interest. 

·         The doctor briefly outlined the IVF process.  Fertility drugs starting on day 2 and lasting 8-10 days (aka injections into my stomach) with frequent doctor visits to monitor growth and figure out if drug dosage needs to be tweaked.  Egg retrieval where they knock me out and grab the follicles/eggs trans-vaginally.  The procedure shouldn’t be a big deal- you don’t even leave the office with a pain prescription.  Then the eggs are sperminated and 1-2 embryos inserted into me.  If there are leftover embryos then they are frozen for a cycle either the following month or later down the road if the IVF works.

·         Because of CP’s sperm analysis and his 2% and 4% readings of “good sperm” that might be the reason that the IUIs are not working.  I thought that because he had great samples (aka a lot of sperm running around for the IUIs), we were in the clear, but apparently we are not. So because of his sperm analysis, the doctor recommended a more expensive IVF procedure that injects a single sperm into an egg to fertilize instead of putting the sperm and egg together in a dish and allowing the sperm to fertilize by themselves. 

·         The doctor estimated that if CP’s new insurance didn’t cover IVF then it would most likely be $15,000.  If the first fresh cycle was unsuccessful, then future frozen cycles would be much less expensive (more like $5,000).  We find out about CP’s insurance on Monday- and we are crossing our fingers and toes that it covers IVF!

·         I asked about my endometriosis and whether it could come back/be a problem.  The doctor surprisingly said that there have been two studies on Stage Two endometriosis and whether it effects fertility.  In one study the woman that had the endo taken out via surgery and got pregnant more often than women in the control group that didn’t have the surgery, in another study the surgery didn’t make a difference.  The doctor also said that the endo usually doesn’t get any worse.  So if I only have Stage Two, then if it does come back then it isn’t likely to jump to Stage Four with adhesions/scarring/etc.

·         We  have a referral for a doctor in Chicago that our doctor used to work with.  So hopefully he is able to fit us in after I move out to Chicago.

CP feels better about this after talking to the doctor.  Now that he knows that there is not much we can do until we get out there.  Hopefully in August we can hit the ground running (with insurance??).