CP’s great uncle elected to have an open casket. I have not attended too many wakes/funerals so far in my life, but there are two that stick out in my mind. Both were open caskets.
In high school a friend’s father died suddenly. This was a boy that I grew up with- he lived near us so we carpooled to school together, his mother was a teacher at our middle school/junior high so she was even my math teacher one year. When his father died, my family and I attended the wake. It was an open casket and I swear the funeral director did a ridiculously good job with his makeup because I thought he looked alive. It was actually kind of freaky.
The other funeral that I remember well was for the father of one of my bridesmaids. My bridesmaid and I went to high school together and I saw her parents constantly. Her father was a hard drinking, portly Irish man, but was always very nice and fun to talk to. He lost his battle with cancer a few years ago and my mother and I went to the wake. I hadn’t seen my friend’s father in a while so looking at him in the casket, having lost so much weight, he also looked alive. He really looked as if he could get up and walk out of the room.
Despite the fact that I was a senior in high school at the time, I don’t remember much about attending my grandmother’s funeral. I am guessing that she had a closed casket because all I can remember is standing on the grass at the cemetery, watching my cousins play around the tombstones because they were too young to realize what was going on. Of course, I could just be blocking the memories out because she was my last grandparent.
My point is that I think that the few open casket events that I have attended have traumatized me. And I wouldn’t want my death to traumatize someone else that came to pay their last respects. I know that in some circumstances it is not possible to have an open casket- hopefully I don’t die in one of those ways because they are usually horrible accidents. But even if it was an option- I would think that seeing me in the casket would upset friends and family members even more. Yesterday, CP and I looked at each other and both said that there is no reason to have an open casket at our funerals. Maybe it is a generational thing?
I know that it is a morbid thing to think about, but do you have a preference on open vs. closed caskets when you die?
5 comments:
Honestly I think I'd rather be cremated. Or donated to science.
Closed then cremated. I am thinking of having my ashes released but I do not know where yet.
My mom recently died and one of her wishes was for a closed casket. My aunt was seriously upset by that decision and when I discussed the closed casket with the funeral director he stated that an open casket allows the people a sense of closure. We went with the open casket and I know that my mom understood. Me? I want an open casket if I look like me and if it is decided that I look unky then close it:-)
Duchess- I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. :-(
Jess and Christina- I am with you on the cremation thing. I told CP yesterday that I think that I want him to spread my ashes somewhere I thought was pretty.
closed. for some reason on top of me thinking that it is freaky, my family seems to hold a japanese tradition of taking pictures of loved ones after they have...ahem...departed. creeps me out. i don't want pictures of me floating around like that!
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