As my monthly “day of reckoning” approaches later this week, the more months that go by without me getting pregnant, the more I worry that it will never happen for us.
Before CP and I started trying, we made the decision that we were not going to use any artificial means to try to get pregnant. While we do not judge other couples and are extremely happy for people if they get pregnant using drugs or in vitro fertilization, we made the decision that it was not for us. We didn’t want to inject anything into my body and decided to take a “whatever happens, happens” approach to getting pregnant. Adoption? We both believe that while there are thousands (millions?) of kids out there that need stable and loving homes, we are not interested in going that route either.
This approach was a lot easier to swallow when I had high hopes that we would get pregnant the first month of trying. In the spectrum of people trying to conceive and having difficulty, five months is nothing. I realize that. But for someone without any known fertility problems, it is frustrating. My body has always performed well the rest of my life- why is it failing me now? Am I one of those people that needs artificial help in order to get pregnant? If so, then we will need a miracle.
We still are planning on a future with kids. We are staying on a strict budget to try to pay down as much debt as possible before a possible pregnancy. We are not planning any expensive or long trips in the near future. I am saving up vacation and sick time so that if I do get pregnant, I can take as much maternity leave as possible. I have started charting in case January rolls around and I have my annual lady exam with no bun in the oven.
We have the house. It has enough room for kids. We have a fenced in yard that is great for Fuzzy Britches, but will also be helpful for kids. We live across the street from an elementary school and one block away from a middle school. It is a perfect location for good number of years. I have a job that allows me to stick to a pretty stable schedule and CP has not been traveling that much. In essence, we are in a good place right now.
All we need is the pregnancy.
(I hope that no one is offended by this post. Everyone’s journey to getting pregnant is different.)
6 comments:
Your journey is your own. Everyone has hopes and dreams and plans on how to get there. Don't worry about the others. They have their own plans, too.
Hang in there. Maybe you want to talk to the doctor before January, you know?
I know what you mean, would it be okay if I email ya?
Before I met my husband I felt the same way you do in that I wanted it to be "natural". But, God had different plans for me...My husband is a paraplegic so my only hope of a pregnancy would be through in vitro fertilization. And to be honest, I'm okay with that. The end result will be the same...we will be parents.
Sometimes life throws you punches and you have to learn to roll with them. It may not be your ideal situation, but really, what in life goes "according to plan" anyway? We make changes and sacrifices to our life plan every day in order to be happy and fulfilled.
You will make the decision that is right for YOU and your family. Have faith that everything will work out just fine.
I've got my fingers (and toes) crossed that this is THE month :)
I guess for me the question is, what qualifies as "natural"? What if it turns out that you have some issue that's preventing you from getting pregnant that is perfectly solvable without IVF? What if certain nutritional supplements or hormonal supplements or Clomid or an HSG would make all the difference for you? What about IUI? What if you just need some testing and you have an easily resolved infection? What if acupuncture would help? Are you just saying you don't want to go as far as IVF, or are you saying that if you can't get pregnant without ever visiting a doctor, then you'd rather not be pregnant at all?
I guess what I'm saying is, before you do the research it seems easy to distinguish between "natural" and "intervention," but it's not like you go from just having sex at home to having IVF the next day. There's a scale of intervention and assistance that you can receive, and some of it really is not invasive, so the decision isn't always as straightforward as we might think.
I don't think I could do IVF--one for the cost and two because, well, I just don't think I could.
But had we not gotten pregnant the "easy" way, I probably would have looked to some of the less drastic options, just to see. I think it's a decision every couple has to make for themselves, the level of intervention they're willing to undergo for a baby.
Oh, and though it probably won't make you feel any better (I know how it is to be on the other side) it took us almost exactly a year before I got pregnant...the natural way all along. My cutoff was going to be 18 months before we started looking into other options...
First of all "Hi, my name is Tammy and I read your blog".
Secondly, I agree with what everyone is posting.
Lastly, I can tell by the tone in this post that you are disappointed that this is taking longer then you originally thought. You know all the statistics, I don't know you, but I am sure you have googled and read up on all you can. I don't have any advice, but wanted to comment and say good luck and I hope you are able to have your baby soon!
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