“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”
That quote from Steve Jobs truly makes me want to cry. Early on in this blog I talked about not settling for a job simply because of the money. And how much I hated one of my jobs before law school because I basically took it in order to make more money.
While I certainly didn’t take my current job for the money, you all know that I am not happy. And I HATE people that complain about their unhappiness but then don’t do anything about it. However, I am stuck. I am not happy, but I can’t leave my job. Yesterday I received my approval from my insurance company for my jaw surgery. That’s great news that I don’t have to fight my insurance company….however, it also means that I can’t leave my company until I have the surgery.*
Trying to get pregnant complicates my jaw surgery too. If we weren’t trying to get pregnant then I could slap the braces on next week and have the surgery 8-12 months from now.
However, CP and I discussed the insurance approval and we easily came to the decision to put off getting braces while we try to get pregnant this spring. We aren’t getting any younger and we clearly need assistance in getting pregnant.
Here is the timeline that we are hoping for:
November- fibroid surgery
December, January, February- uterus recovers from surgery
March- first IUI. Hopefully pregnant within the first couple of tries (only 3 are covered by insurance).
Once I get pregnant, get braces put on after first trimester.
Have baby.
Have jaw surgery.
So yeah, for now I am stuck. But the sad thing is that even if I wasn’t stuck I am still confused as to what I want to do with my life. Should I still be feeling this way at age 32? Why can’t I find something that I enjoy? I don’t want to jump to another job without really, truly figuring out what I want as a career. Otherwise I fear that I will just jump from job to job with no end game in mind. At this age shouldn’t I be an expert in something? Or at least on my way to becoming an expert? *sigh*
How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life?
That quote from Steve Jobs truly makes me want to cry. Early on in this blog I talked about not settling for a job simply because of the money. And how much I hated one of my jobs before law school because I basically took it in order to make more money.
While I certainly didn’t take my current job for the money, you all know that I am not happy. And I HATE people that complain about their unhappiness but then don’t do anything about it. However, I am stuck. I am not happy, but I can’t leave my job. Yesterday I received my approval from my insurance company for my jaw surgery. That’s great news that I don’t have to fight my insurance company….however, it also means that I can’t leave my company until I have the surgery.*
Trying to get pregnant complicates my jaw surgery too. If we weren’t trying to get pregnant then I could slap the braces on next week and have the surgery 8-12 months from now.
However, CP and I discussed the insurance approval and we easily came to the decision to put off getting braces while we try to get pregnant this spring. We aren’t getting any younger and we clearly need assistance in getting pregnant.
Here is the timeline that we are hoping for:
November- fibroid surgery
December, January, February- uterus recovers from surgery
March- first IUI. Hopefully pregnant within the first couple of tries (only 3 are covered by insurance).
Once I get pregnant, get braces put on after first trimester.
Have baby.
Have jaw surgery.
So yeah, for now I am stuck. But the sad thing is that even if I wasn’t stuck I am still confused as to what I want to do with my life. Should I still be feeling this way at age 32? Why can’t I find something that I enjoy? I don’t want to jump to another job without really, truly figuring out what I want as a career. Otherwise I fear that I will just jump from job to job with no end game in mind. At this age shouldn’t I be an expert in something? Or at least on my way to becoming an expert? *sigh*
How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life?
*The insurance coordinator at my jaw surgeon’s office basically told me not to leave my job because getting an approval is very difficult. She said that I wouldn’t want to have to get an approval from two different companies as getting ONE approval can take up to two years.
5 comments:
It is a rough situation when you spend 8 hours a day doing something that you don't like but, try to find thins that you do and focus on the positive. Put something that makes you happy on your desk that you can at least look at when times get annoying.
It is a frustrating cycle but, you and your attitude can make all the difference. And who knows, it may take you to better places.
Good luck!
Were you a fly on my wall? I just had this conversation with my husband last night. I wish I had some advice for you, but seeing as I'm 35 and still not happy with my "career" I don't have much input to give you.
This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling, and exactly why the death of Jobs made me feel such grief. I mean, yes, it's sad that we lost such an amazing mind. But more than that, I'm so utterly insanely jealous that he was a guy who spent his life doing what he wanted with his life.
I'm unhappy at work. I'm stuck. I have no idea how to go about getting unstuck. I'm not a big dreamer, or a quit my job to follow my bliss-er, but it would be nice to not have stomach pains from stress, yeah?
I too work at a job for 8 hours a day and hate it. I feel like my soul is being sucked out of me! It is a really good secure job too and I know how lucky I am to have it. The one thing that has helped me is to start my own business on the side. It gives me hope in knowing that I will be able to quit this hellhole in 1-3 years and make even more money doing something I am passionate about. And I get to help other unhappy people like you!
I've been having a lot of similar thoughts - I like my job but I don't love it and I often feel like I should be doing something more and that I could be valued as a team member so much more some place else. But, my job doesn't suck so it seems silly to leave it.
And your insurance woes make me realize how much more efficient we could be as a nation if we had universal health care. I know so many people who are stuck in jobs they hate because of the insurance benefits. It just sucks it has to be that way.
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