Annual Pretty Princess Day

Wow I am seriously behind in updating my blog. This holiday season is totally kicking my a**! 

My annual pretty princess day (aka my birthday) was back on December 10th. The night before we had my mom come over to babysit and CP and I went out for a nice dinner where the restaurant comped us dessert and two drinks for asking us to move tables between appetizers and entrees (sweet!). From there we headed to a neighbor's Christmas party for a little bit before leaving the party with another couple to go to a local bar. The wife and I both have a December 10th birthday so we celebrated with some prosecco and stayed out until 1am!

All of the drinks made it hard to wake up the next morning, but CP was nice enough to let me sleep in a little bit before we had to gather everyone for swim practice. After swimming my mom, Izzy, and I headed downtown for a scavenger hunt at the Art Institute of Chicago. My mom has been trying to take Izzy for two years now and I finally thought that she would at least be entertained and not a disaster this year. The theme was horses and the event was actually very cool. The hunt took you all over the building and the kids had to think about the different art pieces, either drawing some of their own, making their own version of the piece with yarn, etc. Izzy did FANTASTIC and was super well behaved the entire day which was very helpful as a hungover parent. There was one awkward moment where the kids were instructed to draw a memory of an animal or pet. The staff member was asking Izzy about whether she had a pet and she said, "yes a dog. But he died." She seemed okay about it, but I felt bad for the staff member who clearly wasn't expecting that response.

After the hunt the event included lunch where Izzy was really excited to put sprinkles, marshmallows, and a candy cane into her hot chocolate. My Dad met us at the lunch and afterwards wanted to show Izzy the miniature room section. To my surprise, she enjoyed checking out all of the rooms but at the end was bouncing off the walls so I knew it was time to leave. We headed back home to meet up with CP and Wes and instead of going out to dinner, we ordered in Thai food because I was exhausted and my head still hurt. Turns out when you turn 39 your hangover lasts a full day.... Oh, and the Eagles won for me so that was a treat (although terrible news for Wentz' ACL).

So there you go. My birthday was mostly all about Izzy which, as a parent, well, that happens.

I go into my 39th year with a great husband, two wonderful kids, a job that I enjoy, and a chaotic, but privileged life. Let's see what the next year brings!

*Curious as to why I call my birthday my annual pretty princess day? Basically it is because CP hates it and now years later, it has stuck. LOL.

Izzy turns 4

Izzy with her birthday balloons the morning she turned 4

Height: 43.5" tall. (97%)

Weight: 43 pounds (92%)

Physical milestones: Man, what can't Izzy do? I think what sets her apart for now is her fearlessness. As of this fall, she can ride a two wheeler.

I got a great picture, but she thought it was funny to whiz past me and Wes (who was sitting in a wagon). She still needs to practice stopping. 

Also this fall she took a few strokes in the pool in swim class with no flotation device or help.

"Mommy I am strong"

She is a fast runner and doesn't mind getting dirty.

Her fearlessness comes in handy when going to a local play area. There is a kid-like American Ninja obstacle course and even though you are supposed to be 4 in the room (she was about two months shy), she was rocking the obstacles like they were a piece of cake.

Language: Izzy can easily read all of the letters of the alphabet and has started to work on "sight words" at school (words like the, at, you, he, etc. although she needs a lot of practice). She loves to ask how to spell something and then will write the word down. Often in the car she will ask, Mommy what words start with the letter L?” (the letter varies). She is learning a bunch of Spanish words at school and can count to 20 in English and Spanish.

She still doesn't pronounce the "s" before a consonant so the word 'scary' comes out as 'cary' and our favorite for giggles, 'scooter' is still 'cooter.' Other funny pronuncations these days include 'squirrel' sounding like 'quarrel', 'sunscreen' is called 'suncream' (which makes sense), the 'Trolls' movie is 'Controls', and McDonalds is 'Old MacDonald' (as in the song).

Other times, she has us giggling for her odd phrases:

Izzy: Daddy, how do you climb over something that is too big?

CP: You use a ladder.

Izzy: Daddy that is good thinking in your brain.

Personality: She still loves directing people as a first born is wont to do. We were playing with her birthday balloons and she only wanted me to hit them a very specific way. She loves ordering Wes around now as well and for the most part, he will do whatever she days (if he understands it of course). She isn't scared of very much and a lot of the other parents use the line "Oh look Izzy can do it" to try to cajole their kids into doing something. LOL.

Loving the rollercoaster

Now that she is 4 the whining it starting a bit more. Unfortunately the tantrums haven’t stopped either and especially when she hasn't napped (which is most days), by the end of the day she is cranky and upsets easily.

Attitude for days

As she ages, she is definitely getting more competitive. She makes sure that she gets more milk than Wes every morning before school. She always wants to beat me up the stairs and will cry when she doesn't win. This competitive streak is all from me; I just need to teach her how to lose gracefully.

Favorite Toy: She continues to love coloring, using scissors/glue/tape/etc. For her birthday, Izzy got some junior Lego sets from friends and enjoyed putting them together, along with using her new Lite Brite.

Favorite Book: It continues to vary every night but she sometimes gravitates towards chapter books (a neighbor gave us a bunch of older books). I never know what she is going to be in the mood for. Thank goodness she has A LOT of books.

Sleeping Habits: These days she goes to bed around 8-8:30 and wakes up around 6:30-7. She sometimes takes a nap these days- it really depends on her activity level earlier in the day. On days where she has swim class or has been running around, she will usually nap. Our routine is to get her upstairs to change into pjs and pullup, brush her teeth, and read her 1-2 books or 1-2 chapters of a book. I sing her two songs, and then it is often a fight for me to leave the room (aka she stalls). Generally she is in her room with a flashlight looking at books for a bit before falling asleep.

Eating: Izzy is an okay eater. More often than not she doesn’t eat a lot at dinner which I hope means she eats more at breakfast and lunch st school. She loves cherry tomatoes and will most every time eat carrots, cucumbers, snap peas, edamame, broccoli, peas, green beans, sweet potatoes, and various kinds of winter squash. If she had her way she would eat a lot of cheeseburgers, mac n cheese, quesadillas, and chicken nuggets....we of course don't allow that to happen all the time but thankfully she likes things like CP's homemade tomato soup, rice and beans, and all kinds of fruit (which we have for dessert at night).

Potty: Izzy's issue with peeing just a little bit in her underwear went away this summer after an annoying 4 or so month period. She hasn't had an accident in a while which has been quite nice. She wears pullups for naps at home (not at school) and for bed.


Clothes: 5T clothing and size 12 shoes. Izzy wears mostly dresses these days with leggings underneath.

Media: Izzy will watch about an hour or two of tv (total) over the weekend and pretty much no tv during the week. Her favorite thing to watch these days is Paw Patrol and will once in a while watch PJ Masks. As far as Izzy knows, the iPad and our phones are for watching a YouTube video or two but can do nothing else so she never asks for them (which is nice). She does like to look at a picture after you take one of her.

Big sister: Izzy continues to be an excellent big sister...unless Wes takes a toy that she wants. LOL. Her newest thing is trying to play with him and trying to pick him up (which is hard because he is heavy!).

Leading little brother

Birthday: The last half of November was all about Izzy. I got home from Texas on the 18th, then her birthday party with her friends at a local bounce house place was the 19th. My parents came over that night for dinner/leftover cake, but then also came over the weekend after Thanksgiving to celebrate (my sister and her husband were supposed to attend but couldn't). On the 28th we went to the doctor and found out Izzy had swimmers ear....the day of her birthday (29th) CP was traveling for work, but she was excited to see her birthday balloons and was supposed to have popsicles at school that afternoon....until I got a call that she had a fever halfway through the day. She did enjoy watching an inordinate amount of tv while she was sick though...

Getting sweaty at her birthday party

Last night of being three (and super excited about her Paw Patrol sheets from her grandmother)

Too soon- RIP Buster

This is a post that I am having to write too soon. On Sunday night after the kids went to bed, CP and I took Buster to the emergency vet to be put down. We are both heartbroken.

Saturday I got back to Chicago after my flight from Austin and being away for 18 days. Before I left Buster wasn't doing great, but was still able to walk and not that long ago, could even do a funny run (even though it wasn't very far). While on Facetime late last week I saw Buster essentially dragging himself around on the carpet with his two front paws because it was too hard for him to get up on all fours so I knew that things had gone downhill.

Saturday night I tried to take Buster for a walk at the end of the night and he could barely make it to the end of the block, even with me holding up his backside via his harness the entire time. He would partly drag his back legs on the grass and partly sort-of walk while almost falling over most of the time. His back right leg was clearly weaker so his body was curved towards his right side while he "walked." At that point, I knew that his time was short and I burst out crying, petting Buster while he sat down and rested. The rest of the night I sat on the floor petting Buster. Eventually I went to bed and CP stayed downstairs with Buster for a few hours, mainly sleeping, before coming upstairs with me. Around 2:30 I heard Buster barking downstairs (he hadn't come upstairs in about a week) so I headed downstairs to be with him. He was anxious, panting like he was hot although it was cold downstairs (something that is fairly normal in DM dogs as the disease progresses according to the DM Facebook group). I brought him next to the couch and pet him until he calmed down and we both went back to sleep. 

Sunday morning, I knew it was the day. I had originally thought that it could wait until the following weekend and it could have....but Buster's quality of life was rapidly decreasing and this week he would have sat home, by himself for 11 hours while we were at work, barely able to drag himself around. He couldn't go for a walk any longer (one of his favorite things to do) and instead, we could give him a good last day that we weren't able to give Koda. So on Sunday Buster had Wes' leftover french toast for second breakfast, he sat outside chewing sticks that Wes would bring him and enjoyed the cold weather outside while we raked leaves and hung out with him. 

Bringing Buster sticks to chew on

Enjoying the cool weather outside 

We left him for only a few hours in the afternoon (for Izzy's 4th birthday party) before coming home and having my parents over for dinner. Buster was happy to see his "friends" (my parents) and all of the adults gave him lots of attention all night long. CP made him a special steak dinner and Wes made sure to drop some of his steak on the ground for Buster too. Wes gave him a hug and a kiss before heading upstairs for bed. After Wes was in bed, it was finally time to bring him in while my parents were home with the kids. He was so excited to get in the car that it felt so wrong. I started crying immediately. I knew in my head that it was the right decision, but I felt guilty for being gone for 18 days right before putting him down. 

When we arrived, I got in the very back of the car with Buster, sobbing and petting him while he laid down in my lap while CP went inside to check in. I told him that he was a good boy and that I loved him very much. We brought Buster inside the vet's office and they have a special room where we had also taken Koda on her last day. CP and I just cried, knowing what was to come. A vet technician came to pick Buster up to put a catheter in his front leg where they would administer the drugs. After they brought Buster back we had a few minutes of talking to Buster, petting him, all while sobbing. I'm pretty sure he knew that something was up. Then the vet came in to tell us about the procedure- that he would first administer a large dose of anesthetic before giving Buster the second drug that would stop his heart. We also had a short conversation about DM and the issues that Buster was having. We asked if they could use the Help Him Up Harness that was on Buster and the vet said that they could. He then left us to say our final goodbyes. When we were ready, we let the doctor know and he came to administer the drugs while we continued to pet Buster and talk to him. The doctor checked Buster's heart to make sure the drugs had worked and I let out uncontrollable heaving sobs. CP put his hand on my back to comfort me as he was crying at the same time. I couldn't believe that at just 6.5 years old we had to say goodbye to Buster. It just wasn't fair. The vet left to give us some time with Buster before we left. He looked so peaceful, just laying there with his eyes half open, head on top of his paws.

It felt wrong leaving Buster in the room and not taking him home with us. After we left the room, CP poked his head in one last time to see him before we headed out to the car, sobbing. We discussed our memories of Buster on the drive home, like how we got his name on his first night home with us or the day that Koda bit a small piece of his ear off when he was puppy and annoying her. I realized that it had been a few months since he was able to give us one of his hugs where he would stand up on his back paws and wrap his front paws around your waist. My parents thankfully moved his water dish, food bowl, and doggie bed downstairs to the basement before we came home....but then it made our family room look bare without the bed. After my parents left, CP and I couldn't sleep so we watched the end of the Eagles-Cowboys game while I posted a message on Facebook about having to say goodbye to Buster. CP took Nyquil to help himself sleep and I kept crying as I went to bed. 

We woke up in a daze on Monday morning. Izzy asked where we had taken Buster the night before and CP and I had agreed that we would tell her that he was at the vet (we didn't want to tell her before taking her to school). I wanted to take the day off but had a meeting that was being held at my office that I had facilitated so I had to go in. My eyes were swollen and red and I'm pretty sure that everyone thought that I was on drugs. I did my best to not cry and left work a little early because I was so exhausted. That night after dinner CP and I sat down with Izzy and told her that we had to tell her something. We told her that unfortunately, Buster had died. We were a little surprised at her reaction as we never thought she was particularly close to Buster- she started crying and said that she wanted to give Buster one last hug. We explained that wasn't possible and she just kept saying that she wanted to give him a hug....meanwhile we both started to cry again. After about five minutes, she got up and wanted to play. Later that night she had trouble falling asleep and when I came into her room, she started crying about Buster and wanting to give him a hug. I told her that it was okay to be sad because Buster was a big part of our family. CP and I questioned whether we should have made a big deal about getting Izzy to give Buster a hug and a kiss Sunday night before leaving, but decided that she might have thought it fishy since we never do that....but it was too late now.

Wes seems to know that Buster is missing as well. Last night he threw some food on the floor and looked around as if to say, "where is Buster to pick it up?" This morning he wanted to look outside from his room, I think to see if he saw Buster out in the backyard?

Needless to say, I'm working from home today and the house feels empty. Not having Buster here to pet or talk to is devastating. I'm glad that I waited until today to write this post because I have been bawling the entire time while writing it. Buster came into our family at a tough time in our life. He was our first baby and now he is gone. This one was so much harder than Koda because she was old and it was absolutely her time to go. I was also only a little more than 1 month out from giving birth to Izzy and totally hormonal so I couldn't focus as much on losing Koda. Not to mention that we had Buster at home so we still had a dog. Koda was truly CP's dog (she was already 1.5 years old by the time I met him), but Buster was truly my dog. I mean, he loved CP, but he definitely loved me more. 

I miss his hugs. I miss him nudging my hand for me to pet him. I miss petting his soft fur. I miss him trying to get in my lap, even though he was too big for a lap dog. I miss him getting all excited about meals, treats, and walks. I wish that he had made it to see one last snow, his favorite weather event because he would eat it off the ground. He was a frustrating, but super loving dog to his favorite people.

I don't know how to end this post, but to tell you that I am devastated. He had only been in our lives since May 2011, but there is now a huge hole in our family that may not get filled for a while. Love you forever buddy.

First day with us

Last day with us- Sunday, November 19th

Headed home

Well, my 18 days in Texas is finally done and I’m headed back to Chicago. I enjoyed my time and think that I made a difference in my short time here, but the past few days I have been more irritable and really missing the kids and CP. 

It didn’t help that on Thursday night CP noticed that Wes had dried blood coming out of his ear (urgent care said it was his tubes working and he had an ear infection) so I’m sure Wes will be happy to see me. The past couple nights during Facetime I have watched Buster walk around and it doesn’t look good. He also starts barking in the middle of the night for no reason, waking CP up (my FB group on DM says that this is fairly normal because they get anxious). His quality of life is steadily decreasing and I don’t think he is going to last much longer.

I’m coming back to Chicago fairly exhausted. During my time in Texas I had one day off out of 17 days. My shortest day was 10 hours, but that only happened once. Most days were 12-14 hours of work (especially on the weekend). Despite this being the longest time I have spent away from the kids, it was a good experience both for my job and networking. Some very important people from my company came to see us yesterday and Vice President Pence stopped by on Wednesday (I was not present for his visit). The higher-ups at my company won’t remember my name I’m sure but now they have seen my face and had a short conversation with me so maybe next time they will.

I didn’t work directly with survivors from the Hurricane as much as last time, but I know that my work helped people on the ground with their work with survivors. TX has a long way to go to recover, but I’m glad I was able to come down to help even for just 2.5 weeks.

It’s currently a lot colder in Chicago than Texas so I’m sure I will get sick in a few days simply from the drastic temperature change. Sweet home Chicago!

TX bullet style

11 days into my time down here in TX and here is how it is going (bullet-style):

• So far my shortest day working was 11 hours and a lot of that was driving from Austin to Houston and then back the same day after a meeting. Most days it has been at least 12 hours. My first day off is tomorrow and I can’t wait!

Buc-ee's gas station  on the way back to Austin. It literally has the largest number of gas pumps I have ever seen and it was like a Walmart inside. Weird.

• This time I am more removed from the survivors which is sort of nice as I’m not as emotionally exhausted this time around (more mentally exhausted from the long hours), but I don’t think that it is quite as satisfying. Today I called 10 people affected by the storm and I was hopefully able to help at least one of them with a furniture bank for hurricane survivors.
• I’m pretty sure I have gained 10 pounds since coming down here. I’m not eating while working but I’m eating out two meals a day and that is not helping. 

Don't try this when you come to TX. It tastes terrible- like cough syrup.

Last night I went to the grocery store and picked up these things and I’m crossing my fingers that they are somewhat decent. Anyone ever have them before?

Can't seem to turn these but you just have to stick them in the microwave and they are basically just veggies. Will try one tonight. Please be good.

• I keep telling myself that I will wake up early to work out and it just hasn’t happened. So I haven’t run since my 15K almost two weeks ago (shakes head). One night I did try to do some squats/ kick boxing moves just to keep moving. Most of my day is spent in front of a computer- I’m seriously averaging only 3-4K steps per day- and my body is totally rebelling. I feel terrible.
• My coworker this time around is very nice and thankfully not a creeper like last time. He has two kids right around the same ages as Izzy and Wes so it’s easy to relate.
• CP seems to be doing okay with Izzy, Wes, and his mom. His mom is dropping the kids off in the morning and CP is picking them up at night (which is our arrangement). Lucky duck. His mom is cleaning the house too. I’m so jealous that he has the help. He still seems tired and tense- imagine if he didn’t have his mom!
• I thought Izzy would be pretty good talking on the iPad, but half the time she is more interested in some art project. One night I called and said “Hey Izzy I’ll be home in 12 days.” She replied, “Twelve days is a long time Mommy.” Cue Mom guilt.
• Wes is definitely better at talking on the iPad than Izzy was at the same age. He loves to give the iPad wet kisses and I’m pretty sure when waving goodbye last night he also said “bye bye” (all the adults heard it but he refused to say it again).
• That being said, 11 days is a long time to spend away from your kids. It feels like a lot longer already and I still have a week left.
• The good news is that working this disaster will help me in the future- both with my job in Chicago and having the opportunity to work future disasters (not necessarily moving up but in some of the work that I do).
• I have now been to Corpus Christi, Houston, and San Antonio (but only spend a few minutes in each city before going to a meeting or driving through). Tomorrow I will get to explore Austin more in-depth with friends on my day off. 

Inside the Alamo (San Antonio)

Hurricane Harvey

Yesterday I had the opportunity to drive down to Rockport/Corpus Christi/Aransas Pass (TX) for work. Part of the day was spent managing people we have in the field, part of the day was talking to a recently housed survivor of the hurricane, and then part of the day was spent checking out some of the storm damage. This area of Texas was the hardest hit (damage-wise) as the eye went right over the area.

We so quickly forget about disasters when we are not seeing the images on a daily basis (it doesn't help when there have been so many disasters this year). Recovery help will be needed for not months, but years after this hurricane. For those of you that have not been reading my blog for a long time, I went out to NY after Superstorm Sandy in late 2012 and to this day, I still see stories about houses in Long Island that haven't been rebuilt yet.

Nice view but I bet no one has been living here since the hurricane

Large piles of debris on the side of the road

So much debris everywhere

Field of debris along the median of a highway

Excavator working on sorting the debris in a different debris field

Halloween

I worked a 13 hour day today and don't foresee work slowing down while I am down here in TX so any posts from me will likely be picture-heavy.

First up? Carving our pumpkins. We have to wait until close to actual Halloween because otherwise the squirrels destroy them.

This year Izzy was willing to scoop out the seeds 

She has also been obsessed with putting temporary tattoos all over her arms

She requested a smiley spider, so this is what I came up with

The night of my 15K, we went to the Chicago Botanic Gardens to check out their 1000 carved pumpkins. Here are some of the amazing ones that we saw:

Dragon breathing fire

The solar system

Go Cubbies!

On Tuesday the kids wore their costumes to school. Izzy and Wes saw each other and one of Izzy's teachers was able to catch this adorable picture:

Tuesday night I rushed home from work so that we could start trick or treating at 5pm. CP had worked from home because he was nursing strep throat and pinkeye.

Wes the garden gnome

Izzy Spiderman (she refused to wear her mask)

The kids had a great time trick or treating. We walked around with two of Izzy's friends from school and she was super excited that they could join us. I pulled Wesley around in a wagon and let him get a few pieces of candy.