Last night CP brought up wanting to invite four coworkers that he attends happy hours with to the wedding. (CP is a contractor so they don’t work at the same company) I simply asked if he actually was friends with them/ would he keep in contact with them after the wedding? He said that they might be good business contacts later on. I said that we shouldn’t use our wedding for networking!!! It should be our friends and family that we want there.
My stance is that all four of them have wives, so that’s 8 extra potential guests at our wedding. I’m not sure of our actual per plate cost but I think it’s somewhere around $60. So $60 for 8 people plus the amount of alcohol consumed (unknown number) and there is another $500 (not counting alcohol!!) on people that you go to happy hour with and want to invite for networking purposes?? Keep in mind that we have already sent our invites out AND he has a number of people (at least 3 that I can think of) already invited from his company (he has been working there longer so I am okay with that). I selected to only invite 1 person from my company because she is my boss. I am friendly with a number of people at work, but I have only been working here since August…
We then had a lovely fight and didn’t speak to each other that much the rest of the night. Awesome.
Am I wrong?
6 comments:
No, I don't think you're wrong. I can sort of see why he would think it's a good idea but I agree that a wedding isn't the place for networking, and nobody really expects to be invited to a wedding of someone they're not close to, because most people (especially if these guys are married) understand about weddings. Plus, they're guys. I don't think they need to be invited.
You could also compromise, if there are some people who can't go, then he can invite them. That way you are not paying more but filling some seats.
That's tough. Personally, I invited my two bosses to our wedding and no one else from work. Sweets invited zero people from work. But, neither of us are in business where that kind of networking really matters. I have a dear friend who invited pretty much everyone she worked with, regardless of she considered them friends outside of the work place.
On the face of things, I agree with you that the wedding is not a place to be networking. I guess I'd ask CP if, outside of the wedding, would he be willing to spend $750 on these people for marketing/networking purposes. If his answer is no, then you shouldn't spend that money on them at the wedding. If his answer is "without a doubt because I (and thus we) will see that 10-fold returned down the road," well, then I'd leave it open for further discussion. But, that's just me. Wedding invites are a very personal thing and each couple (heck, each person) approaches it differently.
I think his reasons for wanting to invite them are wrong. Plus, he's not going to spend time at your wedding trying to network! I agree with Christina, maybe they can be on a "B" list and replace people that could not attend.
I don't think you're wrong about this, though I do understand the need to network. Networking at a wedding, though, doesn't sound like it would work out too well.
I know a lot of people who came to my dad and his new wife's wedding were business contacts, and my mother is still LIVID about this (because some of the people who went were 'her' friends.)
It's a tough decision, but I know y'all will make the right one for you.
you're not wrong... but he doesn't see the issue the way you do.
While yes weddings are supposed to be for mostly family and friends, it's possible to go with the idea of "the more the merrier."
If your budget is really that tight, explain it to CP from that angle. Sounds like you only argued against networking.
If you can spare the extra dough to have some more fun people to meet, then it might not be a bad idea.
Maybe you can compromise and invite the gentlemen but not their wives... dunno if that's harsh or not.
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