One of the funnier things I encountered while packing up was a box full of letters and cards from ex boyfriends. Specifically, the three long-term boyfriends I had before I met CP.
CP happened to be in the room when I uncovered said box and started chuckling. He was curious, but after I warned him that he probably didn’t want to see them, he didn’t pry. After a few minutes he left the room and I decided to sit down and read every single letter.
The oldest ones dated back to 1997 when my boyfriend from college (R) and I were separated the summer after our first year. We had only been dating for a few months before I went back to Chicago to work as a tennis pro at a local country club. We talked every night on the phone, wrote each other letters all the time and even made each other mix tapes. Yep, BARF. It was hilarious to read the letters from him. They detail a new relationship. A relationship so in love, naive and happy. I lot of “I miss you” and “I love you” throughout the letters.
Unfortunately, a lot of the memories that I have of that relationship now are the bad ones. Having a fight when we were both drunk, me falling down the stairs of his fraternity while he just watched. His brothers helped me get home that night. I had bruises on my back for two weeks. Taking care of him after he tore his ACL in a big game and throughout his recovery process. There was talk that he could have tried to make the NFL (like his brother did before a neck injury). After that surgery though, he was never as quick as he once was and the talk died down. I’m not sure if he was depressed after that or what….but his smiling, upbeat personality was never the same. One of the final nails of the coffin was one night when I got back from my friend’s bachelorette party and he showed up at our off campus house, raving mad, yelling about me cheating on him. I had no idea what he was talking about and had done nothing of the sort. I later found out that he had been talking to a local girl that night- so maybe he was feeling guilty and decided to take it out on me? He ended up getting engaged to her two months after that fight. She was pregnant soon after (according to Facebook they are still together).
In the end, we were both young when we got into the relationship. Despite the fact that we dated for 3.5 years, I always knew that he wouldn’t be the man that I would marry. But the letters were a nice ego boost and a good way to remember some of our good memories.
Other cards and letters were from a guy that I originally met in high school, M. He lived in Kentucky and I randomly ran into him and his friend in Hilton Head, SC. We were basically pen pals and I even kind of dated his friend for a while (M had a girlfriend at the time). M and I stayed in touch throughout the years. At some point, we started emailing and talking about meeting up again. We met in the middle of Philly (where I was living at the time) and Louisville (where he was living at the time) and had a great weekend together. I visited him in Louisville and we started a long distance relationship. The cards from him were sweet. Mainly about missing me from afar and hoping that we would get to see each other again soon. I am still friends with him on Facebook and he is doing well- a bassist down in Nashville. But again, no interest in marrying him either. Those artist-types are a little too in touch with their feelings for me. :-)
The last few cards were from my ex Herb (obviously not his real name). I have chronicled my relationship before with Herb. The cards from him were a mixture of “I miss you” and sex-related puns/discussions. These cards were the main reason I didn’t want CP to read anything from the box! Based on the fact that Herb used to call when we lived out west and tell me that he would never meet another girl like me, CP does NOT like Herb and would NOT be happy that I kept anything, even just a card, from him.
So why did I keep all of these letters for so long? Well the main reason was because I forgot about them! But I had to have seen some of the earlier ones when I put the more recent letters in the box. I guess I kept them because they are funny to look back upon. Also a great ego boost!
However, after I read all of the letters, I put them in the garbage and went into the living room to kiss CP. While the ego boost was nice, I don’t need to reflect upon past relationships. The guys that I did date in the past are in the past for a reason. I had to date them to find out what exactly I was looking for in a husband.
My most favorite card that I have ever received from a boyfriend? A card from CP, from early on in our relationship. He wrote, “I love spending every second with you- no, every millisecond.” I tease him about that line occasionally, but I love it. Only my engineer husband!
Do you keep old letters or other things from past boyfriends?
8 comments:
I used to have a box like that but I tossed it out ages ago, there was no use in being reminded of a very unhealthy relationship.
I do have a few things from my ex but they are in the back of my drawer.
I found such a box and after I read everything (apparently my life was incredibly tragic when I was a freshman in college and I thought I would write epic poems about my tragic "love affair" GOOD LORD)I threw everything out. I did keep the formal high school pictures since well face it those are just good memories and bad fashion choices:-)
This is a really sore subject for me, as my husband had some things from an ex that he found a few months ago, and it spiraled into a HUGE HUGE deal when he told said ex he had run across the items and she decided to go on and on about how much she still loved him (5 years later, she's still single). Needless to say, all items have now been thrown out and there is no longer contact with the ex.
I have a few scrapbooks from exes, but they are benign (i.e. travels we took, concerts we went to) and not secretive at all. Everything else I threw away a couple of years ago.
I finally got rid of a box about 2 years ago that every letter, note, memento, etc. that I had saved from my first serious relationship. He and I are still friends and for awhile I thought we might end up together again eventually. I finally came to my senses, realized that we broke up for a reason, and we weren't right for each other. (And according to Facebook, he got married 3 weeks ago)
I used to hold onto a few keepsakes from ex-boyfriends. Until I met Sweets and knew things were getting serious. It was an easy decision to throw all that stuff out ... because, I knew I'd be upset if I came across similar items from his ex's ... so, it wasn't fair for me to hold onto the same items from my own.
Yup, I have old letters from ex boyfriends. But I also have notes that my husband wrote me in high school too. They're sweet.
I tossed all my old stuff. But man is it funny to read all the old junk. The state of mind we were in. How important things seemed. So silly.
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