After getting my period yesterday, I suddenly felt hopeful once again. Things are starting to get back on track with trying to conceive. I want to continue to hold on to that hope. I don’t want to have wild hopes of getting pregnant the first month back on the wagon, but positive thinking can’t hurt. Was the surgery all that we needed to get rid of our infertility obstacles? I’m not entirely convinced that it was, but who knows?
Our plan has changed slightly on the IUI. We are a little skittish in trying an IUI this month after it took so long for my period to come back. We only have three IUIs covered under our insurance plan so I don’t want to “waste” one when I may not even ovulate this month. So, I have started to track my temperatures once again and hopefully I will not only ovulate, but also have a normal luteal cycle (thanks to my trusty B6 pills), AND a regular 28 day cycle. Cross your fingers!! If all goes well and we don’t conceive naturally this month, late March will be our first IUI.
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While I have positive thinking and positive thoughts running through me again, something that I saw yesterday on Facebook stopped me in my tracks. A family friend of CP’s that comes to family functions posts a lot of articles on lactation, as she is a lactation consultant. CP has already warned me that if we get pregnant we should probably hide it from her because she is a little nuts (she cornered my friend at my bridal shower who just gave birth two weeks beforehand because she wasn’t breastfeeding). She is the same woman that posted the birthing video of a woman using dolphins as “aquatic midwives” (if you have been reading me that long).
Anyway, the article she posted is how c-sections may hurt premies. Her comment? Nature designed babies to be squeezed out, not pulled out. On the face of that, I completely agree. Natural births are how we were intended to have babies. I too have watched The Business of Being Born and think that the rise in c-sections in this country is scary. But maybe the rise in c-sections is not simply because women want to schedule their births and then get a tummy tuck afterwards. Maybe the rise is due to more people like me having to go to fertility doctors and have surgery to remove endo, cysts, or fibroids in order to get pregnant….then destined to have c-sections.
In general, why do women have premies? Usually because there is something wrong with the pregnancy- an infection, bleeding, etc. So I would think that while it would be nice to say you don’t want to have a c-section with a premie, if there is an emergency, wouldn’t you rather get the baby out and alive? I don’t know the answers as I am clearly not a doctor.
I guess I took offense to the fact that I assume that she is going to think that I am a bad person for having a c-section instead of a vaginal delivery, despite having a reason for it. Or maybe I took offense because I am still sad that I will never be able to have a natural childbirth. Either way- am I just being too sensitive?
10 comments:
If it makes you feel any better....I want to punch this lady in the face! I really hate people that try to shove their belief's down everyones throat. It is her opinion and you know what they say about that...Opinions are like a$$holes, every body has one!
The most important thing about giving birth is what is best for mom and baby. People have a lot of opinions but you have to do what is right for you and your circumstances. Don't let her nor her believes make you second guess yourself, whatever happens for you is what you and your body need to do.
My personal opinion? She's being ridiculous. My daughter was born at 32 weeks and I got to have a vaginal birth. She had been head down the whole time, so that was just how things worked out. I do not think for a second she was at some kind of advantage because she was squeezed out. She weighed 3.5 lbs regardless. She went upstairs to an incubator, she couldn't regulate her body temperature or eat on her own.
Yes, getting the baby out and alive is the goal. They can do AMAZING things to help babies outside of the womb, so get the baby out in the safest way for baby AND mom, which in many cases is a C-section. Modern medicine is a beautiful thing!
If she says anything to you, tell her to suck it.
You do whatever YOU need to do.
I hate when people are rude when giving their opinion. :/
As a relatively new mom, I can tell you there are certain topics that pushes people's buttons. Vaginal vs. c-sections. Breastfeeding vs. formula. SAHM vs. daycare vs. nanny. Whether a name is appropriate for a child or not. OMG, the list goes on. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And there are lots of them in the realm of parenting. But, it also means there are many ways of having and raising kids - without a clear answer on anything. As a parent, you need to make the best decisions for your family, understanding that some people will agree and others will disagree. It's not your responsibility to convince them your way is right or that their way is wrong. Your only responsibility is to feel confident that what you're doing is best for you, CP and your future children. Period.
I would be feeling sensitive too. When it comes to the whole kids thing, particularly how they enter the world, people sometimes forget the woman on the other end of their zealotry. I agree with what Christina said, it's about what's best for mom and baby--not about what's best for advocates.
I think in part, the rise in C-Sections is because medically we are better equipped to know when they are needed, like in your case. Why tempt fate and try to deliver naturally when DOCTORS say that it's dangerous given your prior surgeries? That would seem extremely irresponsible to me. It annoys me that she is not a doctor yet feels it is okay to essentially give her advice on delivering. Stick to your guns and don't let her bother you, not worth your energy. You have better and more exciting things to focus on :)
Yeah, I don't think you're being too sensitive. Whenever I hear comments on c-sections, particularly from people who DON'T deal with IF or RPL, I usually just roll my eyes. Lately it makes me more angry, maybe because I only recently found out that I will most likely have to deliver any children via c-section. Yes, obviously I would have liked to deliver vaginally. And being a little bit of a recovering crunchy granola person, I would have liked to go natural. Do I care now? No. All I want are kids of my own. If my body can't help me by (in my case) having a whole uterus, then I will help my body as much as I can.
You can be sensitive all you want, and I don't think you're being overly sensitive in this situation. Birth is a personal thing. There are a lot of choices with birthing, and those a personal choices that a woman needs to make on her own, with the guidance of her doctor or midwife. I'm not a fan of c-sections personally, as I think doctors here are really quick to resort to them when they're not entirely necessary, but at the same time, I'm not about to get on a public platform and blast out my belief that anyone who has one is hurting their baby (because that's not my belief), because that's just ridiculous and not at all true. People are crazy sometimes.
uggghhhh. you know what is also more common these days? NOT LOSING A BABY due to complications, THANKS IN PART to c-sections. so yeah, having a c-section because you would rather schedule your birth around your soap opera schedule? maybe not awesome. having a c-section because it's medically necessary? OMG GO AWAY EVERYONE JEEEEZ.
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