Often holidays are hard for infertiles. The past couple of years haven't been too hard on me and CP because of our family situation. Being out on the East Coast meant spending the holidays with his family. Whether we were with his dad/wife/extended family or with his mom/husband/grandmother, we never were around babies or young kids because if there were kids around, they were all at least five years old.
Now that we live in Chicago, the family dynamic is going to change a bit. All three of my cousins that I generally see at Christmas have kids. Young kids (two are infants). The oldest cousin has four kids and the other two both have two kids. None of them have referenced any problems conceiving and the kids are "normally" spaced apart which leads me to believe that they did the weird thing and actually had sex to make a baby.
So not only are we going to be faced with fertile cousins and two infants tomorrow, but we also have to deal with my aunt. I don't think that she means any harm, but EVERY TIME I see her since we got married she asks when we are going to have kids. I just know that the question is coming tomorrow- and I'm just not sure how I can react without tipping her off that we are having problems. It's really none of her business, but I need some help in figuring out what my answer should be. Or should I just ignore her all day? Tell her that our dogs are our kids and change the subject? Good thing I haven't had the latest Lupron shot yet or it could get ugly!
Tomorrow should be a happy day with family. Instead I am dreading it. :-(
Any suggestions??
10 comments:
I wish I had some useful advice, but the question has always infuriated me, even though I didn't have trouble conceiving. After I lost my twins it was awfully hard not to say, "Well, I'm doing my best, but they just died. Not that it's any of your business."
I've always just kind of laughed it off, like "oh, the time will come, I'm sure," or some other breezy remark. Ugh. Grown women should know better than to ask those questions.
Forgot to say I'm visiting from ICLW :)
Hi From ICLW, I can totally appreciate your situation. I'm spending tomorrow with my aunt and two grown cousins. The oldest has two preteen boys and started pestering me about having kids a few years ago by posting "when's the baby due?" on my facebook page (that started fun rumours) The younger one conceived her first with IVF and had a spontaneous pregnancy at the age of 41 and now has a four month old baby. Her husband forgot about their infertility struggles and asked me straight out if we were having kids during Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to focus on drinking wine and take the sarcastic approach, if they ask if we're having kids my response will be "why do we need one?" Hopefully that will shut everyone up without raising suspicions.
Dude,I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
I'm a bitch and would probably make a rude comment, because some things are just no one else's business.
Which may or may not be the reason I told my family at Thanksgiving dinner when I was a teenager that I was a lesbian. Uncle kept bugging me about boys, and I was totally sick of it. Maybe not the best advice though ;)
Some people can be insensitive without realizing it...Just be in the moment and enjoy the holidays! Marie here from ICLW
I hope that yesterday wasn't as painful as expected and that you managed to have a Merry Christmas!
Hope it all turned out ok!
visiting from ICLW.
http://hiddeninfertility.blogspot.com/
It makes me feel a little better knowing that I am not the only one who finds it hard to be around happily pregnant women and brand new babies. Found you through ICLW and wishing you all the best :)
Hope your Christmas was good, and not painful and that your aunt decided to mind her own business.
Sorry I didn't make it here in time to give you any survival tips. I hope Christmas wasn't as bad as you feared. {{{Hugs}}}
ICLW #6 Dragondreamer's Lair
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