Sorry for the lack of posting on Friday- I kept meaning to do it at work but then I had to finish up a project before I left for the airport. This past weekend CP and I flew out to Chicago for a friend’s wedding. We had a fairly good weekend, but I am still disheartened with the relationship between CP and my parents….
I will admit that my parents are a little hard to get to know. They are both a bit more “formal.” Sure, my dad will tell off-color jokes sometimes, but at 6’4” he is intimidating. And with CP and my dad not having a lot of the same interests, sometimes it makes conversations a bit….well, lacking. My mom and CP can at least talk about cooking, but CP doesn’t have an interest (and neither do I) in architecture like my dad.
My parents, for fear of asking an inappropriate question, simply don’t ask CP a lot about himself or his family. I know that it is not for lack of curiosity, but they feel the need to ask ME the questions instead.
Maybe it is because my sister and I freely talk with my parents about anything and everything. So without talking to CP, my parents already know a lot about him from what I say. Maybe it is that my parents are so used to my sister and I giving them information that they don’t really ask questions anymore. But that is not a good excuse. CP is not as vocal as the members of my family so to get to know him you would think they would ask MORE questions.
I think that what frustrates me the most is that my parents should want to get to know their future son-in-law better. They should ask him questions, even if they are questions which I have given them answers to already. Maybe he has a different answer? It makes me sad that the man that I love and the parents that I love have more of a surface relationship.
Do any of you have problems between your significant other and your parents? I guess “problems” is the wrong word…it is just that the relationship lacks depth. I am tempted to lock the three of them in a room for hours until they start really talking. Since this isn’t the best option, does anyone have any suggestions?
3 comments:
I ran into something similar when I first started dating Sweets. My parents, for fear of crossing that line into nosiness, refused to ask me about him. Even though I'd drop hints about how much I liked the guy, they'd let me do the talking and rarely ask anything about him. I finally got sick of the passive aggressiveness on both sides and simply told them how I felt. I told them that I wanted them to ask more, because I had a feeling he was going to play a large role in my life. That little (slightly awkward) conversation changed everything. And they've been GREAT ever since. Maybe you just need to push your parents in the right direction.
I definitely think you just need to tell your parents to act more interested. If you don't feel comfortable telling your dad, tell your mom and she'll relay the information. I think this is super important and even if it's awkward, this subject really needs to be broached.
I actually have that with Dave's mom - she is the formal one. My parents love Dave and he gets along with them great. His mom though is very formal, and while she does ask me questions, I sometimes mistake her formality for dislike. Dave swears she likes me, so I guess I'm just not used to formal parents!!
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