Priorities

CP and I had an interesting discussion recently. Towards the end of January we discussed having kids in about a year. Well, it turns out that we weren’t QUITE on the same page. I was thinking that he was a bit hesitant, but it turns out that he is basically ready now…..at least according to a recent conversation.

The problem that we are having right now is figuring out our priorities. There are a few that are currently in competition:

*Having a baby
*Moving west/somewhere else
*Finding me a new job
*Paying down debt

The second three could certainly be done while we are trying for a baby/pregnant, but finding a job may be a bit difficult with a big baby belly (even though it is against the law to discriminate, an employer could always not hire me for “other reasons”).

So fairly soon we need to figure out our priorities. If having a baby soon is our first priority, then we need to take a few steps before we can even start trying. (BTW, I am getting my information from a book from my friend sent me called “The Mother of All Pregnancy Books” by Ann Douglas. It has a few chapters on pre-conception and has been helpful.)

1. Go off birth control (obviously)
2. Get the genetic testing (because we are both European Caucasians we have to worry about carrying genes for things like cystic fibrosis)
3. Try to lose some weight (my BMI is still a bit higher than I would like)
4. Start taking folic acid (there is evidence that taking .4mg of folic acid for at least three months daily prior to pregnancy prevents up to 70% of neural tube defects from occurring).
5. Figure out if I need to up my iron intake (I can always give blood, but that doesn’t mean that I have enough). Iron helps the body create the additional red blood cells needed to carry oxygen from the lungs to various parts of the body, including the baby.
6. Start taking my calcium pills and my multivitamin again. Currently they sit right next to the sink, but I usually dismiss them at night. I do eat a yogurt a day, but that is probably not enough.
7. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about quitting smoking, quitting drugs, and cutting back on alcohol. Once in a while (say, in New Orleans for a wedding) I go crazy, but for the most part I don’t drink that much anymore. I haven’t been drinking my allowed one Coke Zero a day, so I am not worried about a caffeine habit. CP and I are fairly healthy people so we haven’t had prior issues that may affect fertility.

Who knows how long it could take to conceive? According to the book, in your early 30s the odds that you will conceive in any given month are 10-15%. It takes an average of 6.7 to 10 months to conceive and there is a 72-86% chance that we will get pregnant within a year. If we put off some of the other things, and it takes almost a year to get pregnant, then what good is that? But if we try to do all of these things at once, stress does NOT help in conceiving. There are also other factors. CP is currently traveling a lot. That makes it difficult to even try to conceive a baby, let alone have him there for appointments.

I believe that we are ready mentally. We no longer go out and have partying lifestyles. A lot of our friends and family have kids so we know (as much as you can without having kids) what we are getting into. We have been able to keep Fuzzy Britches and various plants/herbs alive (ha!). We have both gone out and experienced a lot of different things/traveled both before we met each other and in the 4.5 years we have been together so we don’t feel as if there are things that we missed out on. And a lot of the things that I still want to do in my life? Are things that can be done after having kids. Sure having kids makes them a bit more difficult, but they are still doable.

Meanwhile, as we are starting to discuss our priorities, we will continue to pay down our debts and stick to our strict budget. I will start to apply to jobs. Hopefully finding a new job doesn’t take too long and that will determine when/where we move.

To be continued…