I hate that this may be something that we can’t “fix.” We could unblock my tubes. There are medications that I could take if my eggs sucked. But this? I don’t want him to feel guilty over something that he probably can’t control.
What are our prospects for getting pregnant now? We were pretty rigid in the beginning with what we were willing to do (aka nothing, all natural) to get pregnant. Maybe our narrow path has to widen in order to work with the cards we have been dealt.
My doctor suggested that CP visit a urologist to get further testing done. His appointment is later this month. He is a little nervous because the questionnaire goes into areas where CP doesn’t exactly want to get poked and prodded. For instance, it asks about his testes- the size, shape, consistency and tenderness. CP is worried that he is going to have someone tugging on his balls during an exam (LOL). It also asks about his prostate- the size, nodules, tenderness.
I tried to reassure CP that his prostate has nothing to do with reproduction but it is probably on the form for other patients. So remember how I was saying that CP is a lucky bastard because his test included doing something pleasurable? Wellll that may not be so true anymore.
Who knows if the doctor will even find anything. CP will probably get another sperm analysis done to make sure that the test results were accurate the first time. From there? I don’t know.
I think that one of the hard parts about this diagnosis is that I can’t tell anyone about it. One of my friends (by now I have told three friends of our lack of progress in the baby making department) mentioned that two of her friends were having problems with baby making because of male infertility.
But this is CP’s thing. If it was my problem then I would have no problem telling people. But what guy wants mutual friends (and their husbands because couples discuss this kind of thing) to know that he is lacking good sperm? So I can’t talk about it to anyone.
Does anyone know of any blogs about the male side of infertility? As far as we know I am good to go which is great, but it would be nice to hear from a guy’s point of view. There are tons of blogs about PCOS and other female problems, but I have yet to come across one for a couple with sperm problems.
9 comments:
Sending you a hug, this is a sucky time.
I'm so so sorry... Forget about other blogs...get a good therapist quick! This is heavy stuff, my lady.
I get this is CP's problem, but it's yours, too. You're dealing with changed expectations regarding pregnancy. And you need to be able to talk about your feelings, too. There must be some middle ground compromise where you can tell some friends, so at least you feel like you have a support network.
I don't know of any blogs, but the TCOYF forums have a lot of great information and support for anyone having trouble getting pregnant, no matter the reason. And I've seen on there that there are a lot of suggestions for things men can do to improve their sperm quality and quantity--and a lot of it is natural stuff, like altering diet and taking certain vitamins. I'd say check it out! That could also be a good place for you to find some support while you work through your feelings and changed expectations, too.
Good luck!
I have never tried to get pregnant, but I have always been sort of scared of infertility. Just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey. It might be interesting to look into "alternative" methods for dealing with infertility. I know people who have had impressive outcomes with the services of a naturopath! Good Luck!
I have no suggestions, I just want to send you an Internet Hug.
i agree, this is both of your issues as it does affect you both. you should be able to talk about your feelings around it to those that you feel comfortable...maybe you and CP can discuss this and ask if it may be o.k. to share with one other person that is in a trusted position? This is a hard time and i'm sure you don't want him to feel guilty. HUGS!
I'm glad that, at the very least, you can talk about it here. I know that it's tough (okay, I don't, but I can try to imagine) and you're right - it's his thing and while getting pregnant is your thing together, the state of his balls isn't really something for you to tell your couple friends. I'm keeping my fingers crossed you guys get some good news from the doctor and that whatever is going on is easily solvable.
Oh, muffin. So sorry that you are struggling. I think you should let CP know that you need an outlet. Maybe you could let him know about this blog, or let him know that you want to open up to a friend or a family member?
This is nothing about CP's manhood, not in the least. I know he is probably struggling, but he shouldn't blame himself or think any less of himself for it. This could happen to any male, and I have this feeling it's actually a lot more common than a lot of people might think!
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