Crying while running?

This weekend my half marathon training group had a 8 mile run planned. It would be my longest run ever.

I had an exhausting end to my week. Work was really stressful and frustrating and uncertainty with our parent company did not help matters.

Then on Friday towards the end of my day I received a phone call from a friend. The friend that I have been commiserating with because both of us are having trouble getting pregnant. Whadda know- she’s pregnant- with TWINS. I am, of course, overjoyed for her. But also jealous. They were about to go in and start the testing that CP and I have been through when she found out that she was pregnant.

So now two of my very close friends are pregnant and another one will probably start trying for her second soon.

Meanwhile, CP and I failed yet again this month. As soon as I saw blood I wasn’t surprised, but I was sad that it happened after only 26 days. I started to take B6 a little over a week ago and I don’t think that I have been taking it long enough for it to take effect. Maybe next month I will have a longer cycle.

Because this was such a long run the group spread apart pretty quickly. I usually run around the same pace as another woman but she went out faster than I was ready for on Saturday, so I ended up running most of the run by myself.

Was it a good idea that I basically had an hour and a half of time to think by myself? Probably not. Because around mile 4, despite the pumping music in my ears, I literally starting tearing up. Not because my body was in pain from running. Not because I was happy at the fact that I was going to finish an 8 mile run. It was because I started actually thinking about the possibility that I will never be a mother. That I will never get to feel what it is like to get pregnant or be pregnant, however unglamorous it can be. How I may never have a child that I can watch grow up. WHO DOES THIS? Who starts crying in the middle of a freaking RUN? Apparently me. Because I am crazy. And tired. And stressed.

Luckily my crying-while-running episode didn’t last too long because I realized how ridonkulous I must look. I tried to think about other topics and finished the run. I didn’t feel great or energized after the run. I just felt beat down.

-------------------------------------------------

On Sunday we put together three out of our four raised garden beds. I think that they came out great!

We started with a lot of wood. We used TimberSil which is a new kind of wood fused with glass. No chemicals leach into the soil, it is a very hard material which will prevent bowing, it should last a very long time and it is less expensive than cedar.

It took us the morning to finish the first bed.

By the afternoon we finished two 4 x 12 beds (the two on the right) and one 4 x 8 bed (on the left). We are going to use PVC piping (the arch on the bed on the right) with garden fabric to keep away pests and later in the season, to reduce the intensity of the sun on the lettuce so that we can have a longer season.

Now we have to finish the final bed (the longest and heaviest one- 4 x 16), dig up the grass for all four beds in order to drop the beds into the ground, fill with soil and start to plant! Hopefully we can get this done within the next month because we are starting to get behind!