Snippets

I know that most people in my life have no idea what is going on right now but I really wish that people would stop asking "how are you?" I of course lie and say "fine" but what I really want to say is "sh*tty as I have a non-viable pregnancy in my uterus right now." But that wouldn't be socially acceptable.

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Last night I felt a lot of cramping as I went to bed and throughout the night. I was convinced that I was going to start bleeding any time now today....but so far nothing. While it would be nice to have this happen naturally, today would have been THE WORST DAY to have it happen at the office because I had to run a two hour task force meeting, participate in a 1.5 hour videoconference, and meet with my boss' boss and a director. And that was just part of my day. Thankfully, my body has cooperated so far.

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Unfortunately, my HCG went up past 6000 as of Weds. So now even after I miscarry it is going to take just that much longer to head down to 0. *sigh*

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Tonight I am having dinner with two of my good girl friends from my time in law school. They are both part of the couples that we vacation with every year- and will be doing so again in August. Part of our worry about scheduling the week long vacation in August was that one of the women and I both were hoping to be pregnant early this year. You guys obviously know how that is currently working out for me...so far no word on whether my friend who gets pregnant if her husband sneezes on her will show up knocked up to this dinner (she is in from out of town). I just know that both of my friends are going to ask how it is going with us. The friend that lives here in Chicago CP and I saw the day we found out I was pregnant from the frozen transfer...but because we weren't ready to tell anyone I lied and said that it wasn't going well. But tonight if asked I am going to have a to be honest because we are scheduled to go out to dinner Saturday night as couples and after taking Misoprostol tomorrow, I am thinking that I may not be up for dinner with everyone....

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I have no idea what to think about tomorrow. I'm wondering if because I had crazy heavy periods before my fibroid/endo surgery if it will be similar to that just more emotional?