After my ultrasound and the bad news from the nurse on Friday, I was bitter. I wanted to drink some wine. I wanted to have some sushi. I wanted to go on a run to punish my body. Instead I ended up eating pizza and getting a stomachache because I ate three pieces.
I was bitter that I wanted to wallow on the couch instead of going to my monthly Bunco game with friends. It pissed me off that I was safer on my couch instead of with friends who would definitely ask why I wasn't drinking.
I was bitter when I had to put the patches on my body. I was bitter when I had to shove Crinone and Estrace into me. I was bitter when I had to swallow the other drugs. What is the point? I'm just throwing away money when I should probably be saving these drugs for my next cycle.
I was bitter on Saturday when we stupidly took Izzy to the children's museum where approximately 50% of the women were pregnant. I was also bitter when I got a haircut but couldn't get my roots done.
And I am bitter today that I have to wait until Wednesday to hear the same news that I heard on Friday- that this pregnancy is not viable. I just want to know next steps. I just want this to be over.
Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.
18 comments:
The state of being not pregnant while techinally pregnant is the worst. Hoping Wednesday and closure come soon for you
I would be bitter too. Hang in there, friend. <3
I'm so sorry you are going through this and you should feel whatever you are feeling, especially as you are right in the middle of it and in this terrible limbo waiting time.
Thinking of you. XOXO
It's hard to be in this limbo. Having to continue the regiment when you have no hope. I'm so sorry you're here. It's not fair. Sending love.
Oh honey am so sorry. I've been staying away from blogs recently so I've just caught up on yours. Sending you love and strength.
We went through this over the summer, it's awful. I had to wait two weeks, so at least your clinic took some small mercy on you. Only a day and a half more. I'm sorry.
Oh honey, I am so sorry this is happening. So much love to you. I hope you get resolution soon.
I'm so sorry, hon. That limbo is the absolute worst, I've been there way too many times lately. Lots of love. xx
No two ways about it, that in-between stage is horrible. I hope things resolve soon and you can enjoy that glass of wine.
I agree with Jane, continuing to have to take meds even when you know you aren't pregnant really is the worst. I always gave up and stopped taking them when I knew it was over, even before the official go ahead from my Dr.
I am so sorry that this is dragging out... you have every right to be bitter. I hated taking drugs that deep down I knew weren't supporting a pregnancy but prolonging the inevitable, but it's hard not to follow doctor's orders and hang on to just a tiny bit of hope, even if you hate it every step of the way. And if there's no hope, then it's just torture. I hope you get an end to this limbo soon. Thinking of you and sending you so much love.
Oh hon, I am so sorry that you're in this waiting period. But I think you should feel whatever you're going to feel. To not try to talk yourself out of it. Just move through it.
Sending you some Texas-sized hugs!
I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
I am so sorry.
Ugh. So sorry.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
This sucks.
So much.
I so wish this week (and all the ones coming up) were better.
Hugs.
Post a Comment