Motto

“If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it doesn’t happen, you’ve wasted your time. And if you are caught up in the worst case scenario and it does happen, you’ve lived it twice.” -Michael J. Fox

3.06.2015

More bad news

The nurse called while I was in Izzy's 15 month appointment so I didn't get to ask as many questions I  would have liked, but she didn't have any good news. I was actually a day off so I'm supposedly 6 weeks along. By now they should have seen a yolk sac, not just the gestational sac. Not to mention measuring almost a week behind where I should be. In addition, they tested my Hcg level and it was only 2000- it should be around 6000 by now.

I asked for a percentage of how many pregnancies like mine turn around which she wouldn't give me (I assume because the number is basically 0). If I don't start bleeding before then I will likely have another ultrasound on Weds which will just affirm that this is not a viable pregnancy.

Not so shocked with this news but definitely heartbroken for so many reasons. I'm trying to hold off really thinking about it/crying too much until Izzy goes to bed. I was supposed to go to my monthly Bunco night tonight but I don't feel  up to socializing with women that all have at least two kids and (as far as I know) no fertility problems.

Tonight I am especially thankful of Izzy in my life. She truly is a miracle.

26 comments:

Amber said...

Well shit. I am so sorry! Hugs to you, my friend. This just sucks and I am so sorry.

Noemi said...

Oh NSC. I'm so heartbroken for you. I was really hoping for good news, even after your post earlier today. I wish I could give you a hug and make you dinner.

Abiding with you during this devastating time.

JustMe said...

Oh damn damn damn. I am so sorry :( sending thoughts your way.

Gypsy Mama said...

I'm so sorry girlfriend. I was thinking about you this afternoon... sending more positive thoughts your way this weekend as you process this and figure out what to do next

Gypsy Mama said...

I'm so sorry girlfriend. I was thinking about you this afternoon... sending more positive thoughts your way this weekend as you process this and figure out what to do next

Aramis said...

Dammit. I was really hoping they'd have something better to say. So sorry you have to go through this.

Cristy said...

I'm so sorry. I remember very well getting similar news. It broke my heart in ways I didn't imagine possible. Thinking of you tonight.

amberlynn said...

I'm so sorry girl. I'm new to your blog but I just wanted to send you my prayers.

Emilie said...

This sucks. I read your post earlier today and was hopeful that you'd get good news. I'm so sorry it turned out this way. Life is so, so unfair sometimes. I'll be thinking of you xo

Unknown said...

Ah, suck. I'm so very sorry. Sending light and love your way.

jAllen said...

So sorry to hear this news. My heart is breaking for you.

Shelley said...

I am so sorry. Thinking of you....

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry, that just sucks. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you over the next few weeks.

Lanie said...

This is terrible news! In so very sorry. I'm hoping for some kind of a miracle here. It seems early to tell, but they probably know best. With my first pregnancy my re couldn't find a yolk sac or fetal pile and I had to wait two weeks for after 7 weeks and go to the perinatologists withy their fancy ultrasound equipment to see it. I am hoping they just missed something. Cmon miracle!

Anonymous said...

Damn it. I am so sorry. I'm hoping for a miracle and sending lots of hugs.

KelBel said...

Thinking of you and sending lots of love.

Conceptionally Challenged said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry. Give Izzy an extra hug - but of course that doesn't take away the pain over this loss. Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

F*ck. I'm so so sorry.

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

I'm so sorry. Truly awful news. Im so thankful you have Izzy too. But I know that doesn't help your disappointment right now. Hugs!

Marianne said...

Oh I'm so sorry. When I had my chemical pregnancy it was just awful. I know having my daughter made the loss easier, but it still sucks so bad. Fingers crossed that the embryo catches up.

Amy Jo said...

My heart is breaking for you :(

Kate said...

I'm so sorry...

Unknown said...

Sending my love. This is so, so hard. You are strong, and all of your feelings are so very valid. Be in this now ... Thinking of you as you navigate through this week.

Anonymous said...

I'm just seeing this... I'm so very sorry! This really sucks. Thinking of you. xo

Jess said...

I'm sorry I'm just seeing this now... I am so, so sorry. My heart just breaks for you. Thinking of you as you wait through this awful time.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so incredibly sorry that you're going through this.