Snippets

Buster's 5th birthday was March 12th. I know he knows that something is up (i.e. pregnancy) as he is constantly in my face wanting petting. I wish CP took more of a role in walking Buster, but it falls on me 99% of the time (the 1% is when I physically have been unable to walk him- after my c-section, right around my miscarriage, etc.). I did most of his training when he was a puppy and the fact that I walk him all the time means that he is up in my business all the time and when I am pregnant that is the last thing that I want. Poor buddy probably realizes that he is going to slide even further down the family totem pole in just a few short months.

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Last month with the help of bonuses and dependent care FSA money we knocked two bills off our our monthly list- my student loan from law school and the car loan we took out on the Prius (which had already been paid for once) in order to do the siding for our house. That now frees up $700/month for us which is awesome and definitely needed with infant daycare payments coming in a few short months. YAY!

However, we now have an issue with the Prius. Two carseats and a 100 lb dog are not going to fit in the Prius and when CP is not traveling, he is doing pickups every day at Buster's doggie daycare and Izzy's daycare. So now we will have to do our best to be as frugal as possible in the next few months to stock away some cash for a down payment on a new or probably used slightly bigger car for CP. He is leaning towards a Suburu Outback but we have a lot of test driving to do and I am worried about the increase in the amount we are going to have to pay for gas money. The Prius gets great gas mileage for his 50 minute commute (each way), but there just aren't a lot of hatchback hybrids out there. I told him we have to at least look at the Prius V....We'll see.

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Potty training is less of a fight now that we are using rewards. We simply decided that we didn't want the fights every.single.time we tried to take her to the potty so if she goes #1 or #2 in the toilet, she gets a jellybean. When she is home and at daycare we are reminding her to go every hour or so and she is great with pee....poop is a different story. Sometimes she just happens to be on the toilet and will poop, other times it's in her pants. We have had to walk home twice recently from the park (~two blocks) because she pooped her pants. So still a work in progress, but she has no problem using regular toilets when we are out and about which is great.

Friday Non Sequitur thoughts

*Can someone please figure out how to grow asparagus that doesn't make your pee smell?

*It is wayyyyy too humid in Chicago right now. Last night I ran a 5K in the city with some co-workers and I was drenched and very stinky by the end.  My legs felt like lead for the last mile.  Ugh.

*This morning I speed-walked to a presentation I had to give a mile away from my office (my train into the city ran late). Thank goodness I was the second presenter because when I entered the room it gave my body a chance to cool down and stop sweating. I felt super-professional.  HA.

*Speaking of work, my boss gave me rave reviews yesterday which is always nice to hear even if it was sort of expected.  He encouraged me to apply for a supervisor position if it ever comes up.

*Speaking of my boss, it's sort of nice to have a male boss simply because I will never run into him in the bathroom. My last couple of bosses were women and while I loved that, it was sort of awkward when you saw them in the bathroom. Do you make small talk? Do you just do your business in silence? Am I the only one that finds that situation awkward?

*I'm part of a moms group on Facebook and honestly, some of the posts that I see scare me. A few weeks ago there was a question from a mother of a 4 year old boy and when other moms would let their sons go into the boys bathroom by themselves (I guess he was asking to do so). While I obviously have a daughter and don't have to worry about that, some of the moms were posting about strangers molesting their kids and other crazy, rare occurrences (btw, 90% of molestations are by people your kid knows- family, priest, coach, etc) and saying that the kids would have to be at least 8 or 10 years old before they allowed them in the mens bathroom. Seriously? As a mother, of course the thought goes through your mind of all of the bad things that could happen to your kid, but the chances of that actually happening are slim to none. What are the chances that a child molester is going to happen to be in the bathroom with your child at the same time? And even if that did happen, there is a strong chance that there would be another male adult that could intervene if need be. It's similar to people that get so scared about getting blown up in a terrorist attack on a plane or getting eaten by a shark. What a crappy life to constantly be worried. Our culture is truly fearful of some of the silliest things and no wonder why kids grow up not knowing how to do things with all of these helicopter parents! Hmmm....maybe this should have been a post on its own!

First week of daycare

As predicted, this week it was MUCH harder to leave Izzy in the morning- because instead of being at home with CP, she had to be dropped off at daycare.

Monday morning CP headed off to work while I took Izzy to her lip tie appointment.  We took her to an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor in early February which turned out to be a waste of time.  The doctor referred us to a nearby dentist who does the lip tie procedure with a laser.  The procedure only takes three minutes, there is minimal bleeding, no risk of infection, and Izzy is awake the whole time.  If a doctor did the procedure they would have had to put Izzy under general anesthesia, she would have sutures and bleeding, etc.  No thanks!  The only downside to doing the laser procedure was that it wasn't covered by insurance.  However, it was worth it.

I sat down in the dentist chair and had to hold her arms down while she lay on my chest.  She was not a happy camper throughout the procedure, but stopped crying fairly soon afterwards.  The office had a room that I could take her afterwards to breastfeed her and she ate willingly.  She was quiet on the drive home and as long as that continued, the plan was to take her to daycare for the half day. I gave her one dose of Tylenol for the pain but since then she has been a trooper and hasn't needed any more pain medication.  Other than a swollen upper lip, she is back to normal.

I felt like an AWFUL mother when I dropped her off.  The poor girl has a cold, just went through a traumatic lip tie procedure, and would now spend the afternoon in the company of strangers.  I got in the car and cried my eyes out as I drove home.  It was definitely hard to concentrate the rest of the day.  She was completely fine when I picked her up and was in a good mood yesterday as well.  Starting daycare has definitely been tougher on me than her.

For the most part, I will be the one picking her up at night and not dropping her off so at least I get the smiles at pick-up.  I look forward to that all day long at work.  Thank goodness for my phone where I have a ton of pictures and videos to get me through the day as well.  I know this gets better- I'm sure it will help to get in more of a routine too.

My future is so bright- I've gotta wear shades!

First day at work

So far, today hasn't been horrendous.

Last night I started bawling because Izzy had some hysterical crying over some gas (CP was eventually able to burp it out of her).  I just became so worried that without me (or CP) there, no one could help her when she was hysterically crying (which rarely happens).  I slept like crap last night, having weird dreams and constantly waking up because I was sure that I was either going to miss my alarm, or that Izzy was going to wake up before my alarm (neither happened and she slept for 8 hours).

This morning felt like a normal morning, other than my alarm going off.  I woke up, changed Izzy, nursed her and then was able to hand her off to CP while I pumped the other boob.  I jumped in the shower and tried to figure out what the heck I was going to wear.  I actually put on a bra with underwire (!) and wearing work clothes made me feel all grown up.  Thanks to my weight loss, my pants are not too tight, even with my pooch.  The walk from the train to work was nice, albeit cold, and now that I am not pregnant I opted to take the stairs everywhere I went.

As soon as I got into work coworkers stopped by and immediately noticed my weight loss (not just from the pregnancy).  It's true the last time that I saw them I was 9 months pregnant, but I'm at least 10 pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight.  It felt really nice to hear that as I really haven't been working on losing weight (thank goodness for breastfeeding).  I showed off the picture I brought in of Izzy and everyone oohed and aahed.

I had 1529 emails to attend to and my day has basically consisted of trying to figure out which ones I can delete and which ones I need to read.  I assume I will get updated on all of my projects throughout the week and coworkers are giving me some time to ease back into my job. I also met my new boss who seems nice.  So far he has let me do my own thing, but of course, it is my first day back AND his first full week in the office so I think that he is busy doing other things right now.  My boss' boss has already been in to ask questions on a program this morning and it took me a few seconds to get my brain ready to fire on "work cylinders" instead of "high-pitched voice lets-try-to-get-you-to-smile cylinders."  :-) He apparently didn't get the memo that people were supposed to take it easy on me today!

It has been seriously weird to whip out my boobs and pump at work, but the first two sessions have gone well (7.5 oz this morning, 5 at lunch).  On your suggestions, I did go out and buy a hands free bra so I was able to eat lunch while pumping (oddest.thing.ever.).  The work day has gone by fairly quickly so far, but I'm still counting down the hours until I see my little girl!  

Last minute preparations

Whoops!  I didn't mean to disappear like that, but we have been quite busy with last minute preparations before the baby arrives!

*I found our pediatrician!  I was getting nervous because it's really getting down to the wire, but every other ped that came recommended didn't take my insurance.  This dr seems like he is going to be great.  He seems like he will be easy to work with, his office is close to our house, and he has night and weekend hours.

*I took our SUV in to get the base and the car seat inspected at our local police department.  Thank goodness I did because we had it in the middle of the back seat and it shouldn't have been there!  Tomorrow I will be taking the Prius in to do the same check.

*Work held a cute baby shower for me last week.  It is going to be so weird to be out for three months.  Especially now that my boss and one of my coworkers have announced that they are retiring in January.  Our department is only 10 people so if the two of them are gone and another person is 99% getting a transfer, it's going to be a whole different office upon my return.

*This past weekend CP and I cleaned out the second bedroom.  It had been basically a junk room with a queen bed for guests, but now that we have my mom and my MIL staying with us after the baby arrives (at separate times), we needed to clean it up for their stays.  Now that it is basically clean, our house is as ready is as it going to be for the baby!!  

*This week is pretty hectic trying to fit in various social obligations before the baby arrives and makes it more difficult.  Our friends braved the awful weather on Sunday and came over to our place to hang out and watch football.  Well, they have two year old twins so not a ton of football was watched as we ran around keeping them out of various things in our house, but it was nice to see them!  Last night was my RESOLVE dinner with the currently-pregnant and currently parenting fellow infertiles.  They were all so excited that I came to the dinner at almost 38 weeks pregnant.  Tonight we are going out to dinner in the city to celebrate my dad's birthday.  Then tomorrow night I am meeting a former college track teammate for dinner in the suburbs whom I haven't seen in years (she just moved to Chicago).  After all of this I hope to sleep for an entire day.  HA!

*My hospital-grade breast pump arrived yesterday in the mail (three cheers for Obamacare!).  I opened the box and checked everything out, but will wait to fully inspect it until after the breastfeeding class this Sunday.

*I took a few minutes out of my work day yesterday to check out where I am supposed to pump after coming back to work.  They actually have a Medalla pump here and if I want to, I can bring my own tubing and supplies.  Not sure what I am going to do at this point, but doing that would save me a bunch of hassle having to drag the pump and supplies back and forth three times a week.  Then I could just keep my regular pump at home.

*The underwire on my current bras has been killing me so I thought buying a nursing bra without underwire would help these last few weeks.  I went to Nordstroms where I was told they have a large selection for women with huge melons.  They only had one style that was underwire-free (I read on one of your blogs that underwire can sometimes cause mastitis) which I ended up buying, but I think that once my milk comes in, it's not going to fit anymore.  The saleswoman said that "it will stretch", but it is currently fitting NOW.  So, uh...we'll see.

*I also bought a few nursing shirts for easy access while I am on maternity leave.  I'm not going to look sexy, but at least I will be comfortable and provide easy access.

*Koda hasn't been doing well.  The bone near her eye is jutting out more and more and now the extra eye flap (not sure what it is called) is usually covering most of her eye.  We took her into the vet this past weekend and got some ointment that is helping with the irritation, but I get more worried every day.  It doesn't seem to bother her, but I can't imagine she can see through the flap.  Twice this week she hasn't been that interested in eating or only finishes half her bowl of food which is completely unlike her.  We are not sure if it is because it hurts her to eat or if it is something else.

Poor Koda.  Check out her left eye.

*I had a dream last night that I fell off a cliff.  I woke up startled at 4am and was so freaked out, I had to putz around on my phone for a few minutes before trying to go back to sleep.  I quickly googled what that meant and it basically means that I am feeling out of control about something in my life.  Hmmm....could it be that I am having a baby in less than two weeks???

Maternity Leave

It's no secret that the US in general has an awful policy on maternity leave.  Sure you can't lose your job through FMLA, but a lot of places don't have much (if any) benefits for women that want to spend a little time with their baby after birth.  And whadda know....my company is one of those places with no benefits.

So far I haven't complained too much about my company.  I was able to find an insurance policy that covered most of my IVF costs (the most expensive part for us was the drugs).  My insurance has also covered almost 100% of my prenatal care.  I have had no problems getting out of work to attend doctor appointments and it wasn't a problem when I had to leave work to rush to Labor and Delivery because I was bleeding.

However, when it comes to maternity leave, my company makes me sad and frustrated.  Unless I use vacation time and sick time, I will get paid exactly $0 during my maternity leave.  The ironic thing is that because we have been trying for almost three years, I have not been blowing vacation time or sick time so I have lucky saved up a bunch in case I did finally get pregnant.  Chalk up the one good thing about being infertile!

I will be taking the entire months of December, January, and February off to spend time with the baby.  As long as the baby does not decide to join the outside world early, my first day back at work will be Monday, March 3rd. I will basically use up almost all of my sick time and vacation time because we can't afford for me to not get a paycheck.

I have discussed with my boss the possibility of trying to have at least a few half days mixed into the maternity leave where I am working from home, basically just checking emails to make sure that all is well with my projects.  Some mothers that I have talked to think that this sounds crazy.  My own mother thinks that it is totally doable because two weeks after having me, she had a trial (she is a lawyer).  The day took longer than expected and she was breastfeeding so she started to leak through her suit.  But my mom is supermom and I am certainly NOT so I don't know if I will even be coherent enough to do this.  I guess I will just have to assess after about a month or so?

What do you think?  I would like to save at least a little time in case I get sick or the baby gets sick....not to mention that a vacation next year would be nice (if we can afford it of course)....

First shower then arrrrrggghhhh

This past weekend was my shower in CT. I flew out Friday afternoon while CP flew from CA to IL (his flight to CT was Saturday morning).  Friday night my friend had a party and I got to see a number of people I haven't seen in a year which was nice. Saturday night was the coed shower and it basically featured alcohol for everyone but me and delicious food. The ladies gathered in the living room to open presents and I was amazed at some of the stuff we got. It definitely makes it more real now that we have actual clothes and baby items in our house!

Funny story- people were still hanging out around the fire pit at midnight. I thought I may want to go to bed soon but because CP hadn't seen the guys in a year and didn't drink the night before, he leaned over to me (clearly intoxicated) and said, "can I stay with (his friend) tonight? I know we haven't seen each other in two weeks but we have the rest of our lives." Ha ha. I figured all we were going to do was go to sleep at our friend's house anyway.....and that CP would snore all night from the alcohol....so I told him it was okay. I woke up the next morning to a text from CP at 1:49am saying, "Sorry I wasn't more supportive tonight I love you." Awwww. I'm guessing spell checker came into play for the text.... :-)

Being back in CT made me miss not only our friends there, but also the town. We had a great time in our two years there and it was a fantastic community. I would have loved to raise a kid there. We have been busy renovated our house here in Chicago so we haven't been able to go out and find new friends....hopefully that changes once we have the baby.

We came back to a surprise from my parents. Not only were they nice enough to watch the dogs for the weekend, but they decided to spruce up our front garden again! They moved the begonias they had planted to the back, transplanted part of two huge hostas in the back, and planted mums in the front! My iPad doesn't want to put the pictures in so you will just have to trust me. My parents still rock.

However, my week has gone downhill from there. My job is affected by the government shutdown and I'm furious, unnerved, and feeling out of control. I really should blog about it but it would be a complete rant and I have been ranting the past two days to everyone I talk to as it is. I have nothing new to add other than I hope that Congress (mainly the House Republicans) get it the f*ck together and get the government up and running again. Sadly, I don't see it happening soon because of the Tea Party minority. Ugh.

In addition, CP went downstairs last night and opened our extra freezer to see how much room we had in there since we have been making and freezer a bunch of meals for post-baby with fresh veggies from our garden. Turns out the freezer conked out at some point and EVERYTHING was defrosted. The Swiss chard quiche, the moussaka, tomato sauce, the beef broth, the frozen blueberries, the raspberry preserves, the pesto, etc. ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CP and I wanted to cry.  All of our hard work and effort for naught. I was very bitter as I was throwing out all of the food today. VERY bitter. And what with the shutdown, we don't exactly have the money to go out and buy a new freezer to start stockpiling food again.

At least CP will be back from his work trip on Friday night and he won't be gone for two weeks again.....

Garbled thoughts

I swear….I didn’t fall off the face of the Earth.  I got back to Chicago on Friday and have been crazy busy since getting back. 

I got my one-month shot of Lupron on Friday.  The shot wasn’t awful (the nurses said that the self injections for the IVF drugs will be easier), but Friday night I got a migraine and felt awful.  I only had 24 hours with CP before he jetted off to Thailand, but had to bail on the movie we were watching and put myself to bed at 9:30am (no lights and some drugs).  I still had a bit of the headache Saturday morning.  Boooo.  I can’t imagine that it could have been from the Lupron after just getting the shot that day, but who knows.  Either way, it sucked.  No hot flashes so far….still waiting to see if those reappear like last time.  I did buy Calcium pills because Lupron can suck nutrients out of your bones.

I love my husband a lot, but I wasn’t super happy with the condition of the house when I got home.  He did clean up the ornaments and Christmas stuff, but didn’t pick up the rest of the house so Saturday I did some cleaning before heading over to our friend’s house to watch the Packer game.  Sunday my parents came over and helped me with some painting around the house.  It was nice to see them and get some extra hands on some small projects.

This week I have been STRESSING over a big work event on Wednesday that I was single-handedly putting together.  I did as much work on the event as I could from New York, but that was sporadic at best and hard to do from mostly email.  I swear, sometimes when dealing with managers, it’s like herding cats.  You have to hold their hand through the entire process because they don’t read emails and god forbid they try to figure something out on their own.  Arrrrgh.  BUT.  The event was yesterday and it went GREAT.  My boss’ boss was very impressed- so go me!

FaceTime continues to be the best invention ever for a husband that travels a lot. It’s really weird how when he is calling me at 6pm my time, it’s 7am his time the next day.  It will be better when he gets to Brazil on Sunday and it’s not such a time difference.

Between Netflix and a 7-day free subscription to Hulu Plus (now cancelled), I am obsessed and totally caught up with Downton Abbey- just in time for the third season to get going!  I’m also excited about Girls (HBO) and Archer (FX) starting up again.

Today I received more information on my insurance coverage.  My insurance follows the IL IVF mandate, which means that I have a total of 4 lifetime IVF procedures or 2 after a live birth (resulting from an IVF cycle).  The cycles are covered 100% with a $35 co-pay which is INSANE to me (INSANE meaning we are so lucky).  I wish that everyone had access to this coverage.

Sorry for the random post. I’m still decompressing from the event yesterday and looking forward to the weekend- the dogs and I will be headed up to Michigan to hang out with my parents.  :-)

Disaster

We had a lovely anthrax scare at work recently.  The Executive Secretary opened up a manila folder with her letter opener and white powder came out.  The folder was sketchy- our company name but no address and yet it still got delivered here.  One of my jobs has to do with emergency preparedness so the Secretary came to me to ask what to do.  My first thought was “Why are you bringing the anthrax over to me???”  I got her to go back to her desk and call security downstairs while I tried to strike a balance between standing as far away from her desk as possible vs. standing close enough to help her as she talked to the authorities.

As soon as security came up to our office suite, everyone, including my boss and her boss, were not allowed to use our computers or phones.  We had to write down our name, address, birthdates, and exactly what happened for the officers while sitting in an open area of our office.  The officers kept asking us if we were feeling odd in any way (one officer came into our office suite, the other way stayed behind the glass doors).  The Secretary became flushed, but I think that was partially because the building shut off the HVAC system (so that potential spores would not move to other floors in the building)  and she was a little scared.  After 20 minutes or so we were fairly certain that it wasn’t anthrax because none of us had any symptoms, but we still needed to find out was exactly was sent in the envelope.

Enter the hazardous division of the Chicago Fire Department.  Yes, the CFD has two of these divisions in the city.  They came in wearing full gear, face masks and gloves while carrying a bunch of plastic boxes with fancy machines in them.  They asked a few questions and then headed over to the offending envelope.  After some testing it was determined that the white powder was a protein and that there was a semi-threatening note in the envelope (the Secretary didn’t get as far as looking in the envelope after seeing the white powder). 

Meanwhile, the six of us caught in the suite were laughing and joking.  We wondered if anyone had alcohol in their desks as we might as well be drinking if we were all stuck there.  I started to call the Secretary “Patient Zero” and have continued to call her that through today.  J  I’m pretty sure the officers and the firemen were not happy with us, but what else are we going to do?

In the end, the suspicious powder was- get this- SHAVINGS FROM SOMEONE’S FOOT.  EWWWW.  I told the Secretary that as soon as she got home, she better take the longest and hottest shower of her life.  NASTY.  Who does that???  Two and half hours later, we were finally allowed to leave.  Phew!

I think that I need to send an email around to the rest of my company telling them if they get a suspicious piece of mail to NOT bring it to me!!

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Speaking of emergency preparedness, partly because of that job, I was asked yesterday to head out to New York to help with Sandy disaster efforts.  I’m leaving right after Christmas and will be gone for two weeks.  I’m happy to be going because it will be a great experience and I will be able to help people in need after such a major disaster.  However, this means missing New Years Eve with CP (we didn’t have big plans….just heading over to a friend’s house) and not really seeing him for a month.  You see, the day after I get back from New York CP goes on a worldwide tour of airports and countries.  He flies from Chicago to Tokyo, then Tokyo to Bangkok and stays in Bangkok a week.  Then from Bangkok he flies to Istanbul, then onto San Paulo (Brazil) for another week.  He will mostly likely miss some of my crazy hormonal mood swings from IVF drugs, but he also won’t be around to help me administer them.  :-(

Needless to say, I have heard I will be working 12 hour days so I may not be reading/commenting too much while I’m in NY- but I’ll be thinking of all of you!!

Liebster blog award

How are all of the bloggers out on the East Coast?  I hope that you guys are doing okay today.  One of my friends that lives on the Jersey Shore coast had to be evacuated from her house today- yikes.

The Barren Librarian bestowed a Liebster blog award on me yesterday. Awwww how nice of her!  What is a Liebster Blog Award? The Liebster Blog Award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers, and nominated by fellow bloggers. Liebster is a German word meaning sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome. I now have the honor of answering her 11 questions, and then nominating 11 awesome bloggers to answer MY 11 questions! So...here are my answers to the questions! 

1.       What’s your favorite pizza?

Being that I am from Chicago my favorite pizza is Edwardo’s deep dish pizza with sausage and green peppers. Thankfully there is no Edwardo’s around me or else I would weigh 100 pounds more than I do.  If you are not in Chicago you can order and have it shipped to you!

2.       What movie could you watch every day for the rest of your life and still not hate it?

Probably something from my childhood like The Goonies or The Princess Bride.  Timeless movies that I hope to share with my kids someday.

3.       If you had to choose between working a job you loved for your whole life or not working at all for your whole life, which would it be?

I would rather work a job that I loved.  I’m the type of person that wants to make an impact on the world and if I just farted around all day, I wouldn’t accomplish anything.  Work gives me structure and makes me feel like I am making a difference.  Even though I am not a fan of my job, I would rather work and help CP pay the bills than watch daytime tv and be bored on the couch. 

4.       Favorite place to buy clothes?

For work clothes I like to shop at New York & Company because they sell pants for tall women and the clothes are not too expensive.  For lounging around clothes I have been buying a whole lot of Columbia stuff at outlets.  Their clothes are seriously comfortable.

5.       Mac or PC?

I’m absolutely a PC girl.  My parents have a Mac and I hate trying to use it.  That being said, I do like our iPad and my iPhone.

6.       Would you live anywhere but where you are living right now?

I’m enjoying living in Chicago again, but I still miss the mountains of Denver.  I would move back there in a heartbeat.

7.       Favorite musical artist?

I’m not really good at these favorite questions because it really depends on my mood and the day.  But there are a few artists that I can ALWAYS listen to:  Michael Franti & Spearhead, Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Rodrigo y Gabriela, and Widespread Panic.  More recently I can’t get enough of Mumford & Sons, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, and Of Monsters and Men.

8.       What cause would you champion (not necessarily IF related) if you were a rich and famous celebrity?

The problems with our food these days.  The problems with GMO foods, the ridiculousness behind not labeling GMO foods, and the crap that we as Americans are putting into our bodies every single day.  That also extends to the chemicals that are in so many of our beauty products.  

9.       What number one celebrity would you marry if your significant other wasn’t in the picture?

Honestly?  I wouldn’t marry any celebrity.  Being married to a celebrity means that I would be thrust into the limelight- something that I am NOT interested in doing.  Plus celebrities have all kinds of self-esteem issues and are surrounded by “yes” people.  No thanks.  Not interested.

10.   What words do you hate to say?  

Panties.  I refuse to use that word. 

11.   Biggest pet peeve?

People who are late and don’t call.  We all have cell phones these days….if you are running late just shoot a text or quickly call me to let me know.

My 11 awesome bloggers (I did my best to not award a blogger that had already been awarded):

musings, graces and fate 

Bebe Suisse

Tried and trying

My Hormonacoaster

Growing Griswolds

Breathe Gently

Just Jess in TX

The Future Fords

Eat, Blog and Be Married

Amy Jo....On the Go

Navigating the Mothership

These bloggers must answer the following questions:

1.  If you could do any job in the world (money being no object), what would you do?

2.  What is your favorite Halloween candy?

3.  If the possibility ever arose, would you live abroad?  If so, in what country?

4.  Where is the most romantic place (LOCATION LADIES NOT A BODY PART- get your mind out of the gutter!) you have ever been kissed?

5.  Red or blue?

6.  What movie makes you cry every time you watch it?

7.  Do you watch the Real Housewives on Bravo?  If so, which cast is your favorite?

8.  What would you eat for your last meal if you were on death row?

9.  If you could trade places with someone for a day who would it be and why?

10.  Sunrise or sunset?

11.  How many states and/or countries have you lived in?

Have fun!  Can't wait to read your answers!  

Today

Today I am counting the hours until I can curl up on the couch under a blanket and probably break open a bottle of wine.  It’s windy today in Chicago.

Today I am also counting down the hours until CP gets home.  Unfortunately he arrives at the same time as a first birthday party for our friends’ twins, so I won’t see him until I get back from the party.

Today I am jealous of all of the women walking around downtown Chicago with riding boots on.  I’m not morbidly obese (just barely obese per the BMI), yet my ridiculously muscular calves keep me from fitting into boots.  I even went to DSW last night and tried on all of the “wide leg” boots.  Nothing fit.  Grrrr.

Today I am hopeful that I didn’t get the flu shot for the second year in a row for nothing.  It is free through work, but I generally wouldn’t get it unless I was thinking about getting pregnant this year.

Today I am looking forward to even more shows returning on tv.  Grey’s and Scandal last night, Revenge, Homeland, Dexter, and a new show, 666 Park Avenue all start on Sunday.

Today I am excited to have found a gym in our town.  It’s less than $70/month for the two of us to join and has a pool (with lap swim hours), a basketball court, an indoor track, plenty of treadmills, stair climbers, ellipticals, bikes, etc.  It also has classes and personal trainers that you have to pay extra for, but at least they are available.  Plus it’s not that far from my house so I hope to get up in the mornings and work out!

Today I am excited that I will have spring flowers next year!  Groupon had a special yesterday for Holland Farms and with it I ordered daffodils, tulips, and crocuses.  Even if we don’t have time to take down the awful 70s bushes in the front of our house before spring, I can still plant pretty flowers that will make me feel better about the outside of our house!

Today I am happy that my boss nominated me for a project and I’m really hoping that instead of the 2-3 hours a month we are expected to work on the project, it turns into a whole lot more so that I can stay busy.

Today, along with every other day that I come downtown, I am reminded that although I hate my job and I’m bored, I’m still lucky to have a job. 

What are you feeling today?

ICLW

Wow I can’t believe that I haven’t participated in ICLW (aka International Comment Leaving Week) since April!  Well, let me get you up to speed in what has been going on in our life since then.  (If you want the very basics about me they can be found here.)  

Sadly, IUI #2 and IUI #3 in May did not work. But we had other things to worry about because my husband CP got a job offer in Chicago.  Amazingly, we were able to sell our house in 8 days, I was able to get my job transferred to the Chicago office, and we had a final consultation with our RE before CP left for IL. 

A day after CP got to Chicago, he went to an open house for a place that had been on the market for 60+ days, then brought my father back for a second opinion the next day.  He then put an offer on the house without me even seeing it in person.  I was stuck in CT for six weeks while waiting for the sale of our house to go through while CP stayed in an extended stay hotel and started his new position.  Because we were away from each other during the right time of the month, we had to suspend baby making activities.  We were also saddened to find out that CP’s company somehow gets around the mandated infertility coverage requirement in IL and we had no coverage for IVF.  

In the beginning of August I started my new job (well, transferred job) and am still hoping for more work.  We moved into our new house and I posted pictures showing just how much work needed to be done on our new house.  After about a month in the house we finally had one room complete and a working kitchen.   Then just last week our older dog had to go in for emergency surgery for bloat. Thankfully she made it through the surgery and is doing much better.

This month we are hoping that we have a surprise pregnancy, but not counting on it.  We are looking forward to our appointment with our new RE on October 1^st.

New job

Four days into my new job and so far I am enjoying myself.  Well, technically it is not a new job as I have the same title, simply in a different location.  Anyway, the “newness” might wear off in two-three months like always- I’ll just have to see if this place can keep my brain entertained and occupied.

My boss so far seems nice and happy that I am here.  Yesterday we had a meeting with a director and she called me a “subject matter expert.”  Ha!  I mean, I gave presentations about the subject in CT, but I wouldn’t call myself an SME by any means.  No matter because yesterday it was decided that I would sit on a panel at a two-day conference and speak in front of 200 people.  Yikes.  That makes me excited and nervous at the same time.  I hope I can live up the SME title!!

Can I just tell you how much I love working in a big city again?  The energy, the people walking around, the noises.  I love them all!  All of the “cities” in CT never really had that so I definitely have missed it.  Even though we didn’t want to move to downtown Chicago (CP more than me), at least I get to experience the city during the week.  It’s nice to have a bunch of lunch options.  It’s nice that I will get to walk 1/2 mile every morning from the train station to my office, and then back that afternoon.  I may not be so happy about the walk come January when it is freezing out, but I’m hoping that my North Face jacket makes it bearable!  I’m not that far from my parent’s office so I could have lunch with them if I felt like it one day.  

I think that living a train ride away from the city (without having to drive to the station) is going to provide a nice balance.  A yard for the dogs/our garden with some privacy from our neighbors and a big enough house for our stuff on the weekends/weeknights versus the busy, loud, and crowded city during the workday.  My total commute (even with the 1/2 mile walk) will be about 45 minutes.  Not the fantastic 10 minute commute I had in CT, but that is the price we are paying to be in the middle of our two jobs with a decent sized yard, good schools, etc.

My new office has a gym in the basement that for now is free (score!).  My building also allows people to walk the stairs so instead of taking the elevator up or down one or two flights, I have been hoofing it.  I am thinking about doing the Hustle up the Hancock race which is an awesome stair race (94 floors up the John Hancock building) that I did with friends back in 2005 when I lived here.  My mom even said that she might be willing to do it with me!  My office is on one of the top floors of my building so I could train during my lunch hour or after work.  :-)

So things are going well here, despite all of the chaos.  I’m ready for a busy day tomorrow dealing with the movers, along with the delivery of our new fridge and all new appliances.  The cooktop won’t get hooked up just yet because we need the counters in, but hopefully they can get installed sometime in the next few weeks.  In the meantime we will at least have an oven and a microwave.  Sunday we are going to be in UNPACKING H*LL.  Wish us luck.  :-)

I made it!

I’ll try to make this quick….

Last week the moving process went fairly well.  CP and I had some fights because he didn’t understand why I had to run around town doing errands and packing up stuff in advance, things that were stressing me out.  Ummm hello who wants some random guy packing up your underwear, toiletries (especially the ones that scream I’M INFERTILE), and other potentially embarrassing items?  Not to mention we were told we could save money if we packed some things in advance.  CP thought that I was making things harder on myself, but I saved us some money by returning boxes to U-Haul, by selling a few items on Craigslist, and donating items to the Salvation Army.  Right now, we need to save money so to me it was worth it.  But yeah, I was a bit on edge last week.

I have to say that I am most likely moving-spoiled now.  Having other people pack up our house and then move everything into a truck that they drive across the country for us?  LOVED IT.  Especially because the day that they packed up the truck it was 90 degrees out.  It was a little boring watching other people do the work (it made me want to jump in and help), but instead I sat in the AC and that wasn’t half bad.

After the walkthrough on Thursday night, I finished cleaning the house and set out for central PA with the dogs.  The dogs had been in doggie daycare all day and were thankfully exhausted.  We got into our hotel around 1:30am (I unfortunately got a later start than I wanted to), I threw on a Sleep Machine App so that Buster wouldn’t hear people in other rooms and bark, and slept for about 3.5 hours….until the person above me woke up and started stomping around at 5:30am.  Sigh.  That woke up Buster who didn’t bark, but did start to pace around the room.  I threw on the Sleep Machine App again and fitfully slept for another hour before deciding that it was time to wake up and get on the road.

Friday was spent driving in the car.  It took me about 10 hours, but that was probably because I stopped a bit too often.  Starbucks Refereshers and various NPR’s Freakonomics Podcasts kept me awake and entertained throughout the drive.  It was scalding hot every time I stopped so I would take the dogs for short walks at the rest stops but nothing too long because there wasn’t much shade to speak of.  The closing on our CT house went well that afternoon and CP and I were officially homeless.

The rest of the weekend was spent at my parent’s second home in Southwestern MI.  Buster got to meet my Dad for the first time (and bark at him as he likes to do to strangers, but then later snuggle) and the dogs got to run around the large yard.  They will be heading back there this weekend with my parents so that they are not in the movers' way when they drop off the furniture.

Monday morning CP and I dropped the dogs off at a nearby boarding facility (where they so far seem to be okay despite it being a new place for them) and headed to our closing for our new house.  The seller is still crazy, but everything worked out and we now are IL homeowners (pictures coming soon)! 

Yesterday CP left for a work trip and I had my first day of work at my new office.  Everyone here seems really nice and happy that I transferred to the office.  It’s nice to work in a big city again!  This week I’m staying with my parents in the city while the hardwood floors in our new house get refinished and stained a different color before our furniture arrives.  Saturday our new appliances and all of our furniture get delivered.  Then next week the electrician and the HVAC guy will be working in the house.  It’s getting hard to juggle everything!!

What has been going on with you guys?  I have been trying to keep up with my Google Reader, but I’m still a bit behind.

Last four days in CT

The dogs and I leave Thursday night for Chicago.  I made the decision to stop part of the way out there, because 14 hours is just too much.  But before we can leave, I have a million different things that I have to finish up (don't worry- I won't bore you with a list).  I'm definitely regretting the fact that CP didn't fly back to help this past weekend because I'm rushing around trying to fit everything in.  Thank goodness I had the foresight to take off this entire week from work!

• Last Wednesday I met up with a friend so that our dogs could play one last time.  Buster seemed off as he wasn't interested in playing and had thrown up earlier that day.  Well, I ended up taking him to the emergency vet at 9pm that night because he wouldn't eat dinner.  This boy would finish his 2.5 cups of food in 30 seconds if we didn't buy him a bloat bowl (one that slows down his eating), so I knew there was something wrong.  As I sat in the room waiting for the vet, all I could think about was that it was the same room where CP and I heard that Fuzzy Britches possibly had a brain tumor (which is why she had the seizure) and that we shouldn't put her on medication because "she would have a whole host of other problems in a year anyway based on her size."*  My mind automatically went all kinds of places as to what was wrong with him- thankfully he just had a fever, diarrhea, and nausea.  $400 later (oh yes- medication is way more expensive for big dogs!) and strict instructions on water/food intake and we were out the door.  Thankfully he is back to eating, drinking, and pooping normally- I don't know what I would have done if he wasn't better by Thursday!
• Friday was my last day at work.  The entire week was rushed and stressful, trying to finish projects, answer questions from my boss, etc.  The office did a going away cake and gave me a few trinkets to remind me of CT which was cute.  My boss was pretty good the entire week, but did make a few passive aggressive comments about "letting me leave CT two weeks earlier than planned" (because our house sold so quickly) and overall trying to make me feel guilty about leaving for the Chicago office.
• Friday night I headed up to MA to see a college friend that I hadn't seen in two years.  Sadly, we just haven't thought to make the time to see each other and now I'm moving away.  The last time I saw her she was ready to have a baby, and it turns out that she is now 9 weeks pregnant with her second child.  We had a great time and we vowed to be better about seeing each other.  I just love friends that you can pick up with even after a few years of seeing them/talking to them.
• Directv is on my sh*t list.  I had called a few weeks ago to cancel our service and they said they would be shipping boxes out to me so that I could send my receivers back.  I hadn't received them yet, so I called on Saturday wondering where they were.  Turns out they don't send the boxes until AFTER you shut off your service which makes NO SENSE if you are moving!  So I tried to shut off my service on Saturday and get the boxes shipped out to me, but it takes 7 days and they won't arrive until next Tuesday.  REALLY??!!?  So my choices are ship the receivers back myself or lug the receivers to IL, call Directv with our new address, and then ship them back.  Ridonkulous.  I guess I'll just pay for shipping myself.  Not to mention that my cable went out yesterday and has yet to come back on.  I will just be calling and cancelling and NEVER USING DIRECTV AGAIN. 

Posting may be light for the next week or two as I am losing access to my home computer until our furniture gets delivered.  Wish us luck with our drive!!

*BTW, thank goodness the vet has been wrong about this so far!!!

Approved

Sorry for my absence most of last week.  My training down in DC went great.  I really felt like I could give great suggestions and be part of the conversation.  There were fellow employees in the room that were much like me when I first started here- like a deer in headlights.  They will learn in a few years.  :-)

When I wasn’t kicking butt in training, I got to catch up with close friends that live in DC.  I met my best friend’s new boyfriend and another friend’s new girlfriend.  I also met my friend’s 9 month old child.  I went to delicious restaurants- including Founding Farmers, an amazing farm to table restaurant that also serves the greatest drinks!  My favorite is the Organic Cucumber Delight made out of Cap Rock Organic Vodka, cucumbers and cantaloupe.  Yum!  But the bartender also mixed us up a gin, dill, cucumber, and some other stuff drink that was really good too (and I don’t like gin).

While I was down in DC, the head of my division came to say hi and meet everyone.  I had never met her before, but when I introduced myself, I believe I saw a little flicker in her eye of recognition that I was the person asking for a transfer out to Chicago.  Then when we were leaving on Friday, she gave a short speech about how so many of us were the future of the agency….”people like Julia and Non Sequitur Chica.”  That gave me a little hint that maybe I would get transferred??

Amazingly enough, the approval letter for my transfer came in yesterday.  You don’t understand how much weight was lifted off my shoulders.  Despite the fact that I am not in love with my job, I really didn’t want to have to look for another one in the midst of moving and trying to sell our house.  Not to mention with trying to get pre-approved for a mortgage with both of us starting new jobs….  So a big THANK YOU to my job for coming through with the quickest transfer approval ever so that I didn’t have a heart attack.

I feel like this move to Chicago is definitely meant to be.  With the headhunter’s call, everything has fallen in place with the new job offer, my transfer, and the interest so far from people in our house.  Now if only the good luck would extend to our efforts to conceive…..

Thursday bullets

·         CP countered the new company’s offer last week.  They verbally agreed to EVERYTHING in the counter.  WOO HOO!  He should get the employment package today.

·         CP told his boss last Thursday about the new job.  Surprisingly, the boss was really nice and said he knew that this day would come because CP was at the top of where he could go in the company (it’s a family-run company with only 11 people).  I’m glad that CP will be able to leave on a good note with his boss.

·         Meanwhile, I told my boss last Thursday that we had accepted the job offer.  She wasn’t surprised because I had kept her in the loop- she WAS surprised that the offer came in already.  My transfer paperwork was finished on Friday and we are sending it up the chain to HOPEFULLY get approved.  (FINGERS CROSSED!)  Who knows how long it will take for a decision to come down from above though.

·         We had quite a busy weekend repairing stuff at the house, buying and transplanting more plants into the front yard, power washing the house, installing our window AC units because it was HOT, and cleaning.  Our days this weekend were not exactly fun.

·         We made up for the lack of fun by doing things with friends every night.  Friday night we went out with friends for a delicious Thai dinner.  Saturday night we bought steamers and lobster and cooked them at our house.  CP also made a bone marrow salad which our friends loved (I wasn’t a huge fan).  Sunday night CP smoked a beef brisket and beef short ribs before we watched Game of Thrones and Mad Men.  Finally last night we had friends and their kids over for an informal BBQ to try to get rid of burgers and homemade sausage from our freezer!  As parting gifts we gave away frozen meat pies we made earlier this year and bok choy from our garden.  Our friends are totally going to miss us cooking for them.  Ha!

·         Monday we met with a new realtor that came highly recommended by two of my friends.  The realtor seemed energetic and highly motivated which is great.  She gave us suggestions on staging the place, will hold a broker’s open next week (serve lunch for realtors to get them to see the place) and have an open house.  She seems sure that she is going to be able to sell the house quickly- which is great, but I don’t want any promises that she can’t keep.  After all, the right buyer has to come along for the place….

·         After meeting with the realtor, she gave us some homework on the house.  It’s all fairly easy stuff- mainly decluttering and removing things from rooms.  So I worked a half day Tuesday and then headed out to UHaul to buy boxes, packing tape, etc. and start working.  CP is in MA all week and won’t be getting home until late in the evening so I have to work quickly to get things done.  We need to get the house on the market asap because CP starts his new job on the 25^th of June.  I’m taking another half day tomorrow to continue to work on getting the house ready.

·         After all of this hard work I am looking forward to tonight- dinner with friends.  I’m hoping it’s as good as last time I went to this restaurant!

Job hunt

Two days later I think that I am finally out of my funk.  I’m not sure if it was the whole Mother’s Day stuff, PMS, a combination of the two, or something completely different.  I just felt CRANKY and OFF the past two days (poor CP).

But today is a new day and although I am a bit sleepy, my mood is finally better.

For one, I received word that I won an award at work for an event that I put together and participated in.  It was so unique that I was given a cash award.  Woo hoo!  Of course it won’t be much once taxes get taken out, but hey, it’s something for my resume and I’m not going to turn down a few extra dollars.

Those few extra dollars might go towards polishing up my resume though.  Last week I applied to three jobs in Chicago and joined TheLadders dot com for a free 14 day trial.  A resume critique came with the trial and the reviewer basically told me that my resume is outdated and I’m not showcasing my talents.  I can totally see that because it is the same resume format that I have been using since college.  I’m sure things have changed quite drastically since then.  So for only $495 (ha!) someone will retool my resume.  I know that it is a lot of money, but I’m kind of tempted (has anyone used TheLadders?) as I already have my first “we have gone with another candidate” rejection.

Last night I told CP that even if he doesn’t get the job in Chicago that I am going to start looking for a new job here in CT.  I know that I say this every few months and there are valid reasons as to why I shouldn’t leave my job (my accumulated vacation time and sick time if I get pregnant for one)…..but I am not pregnant.  And there is no end in sight to my infertile ways so why not get a job where I feel useful and happy?  Even with taking on the work of my retired coworker I am still bored.  CP says that when he sees it, he will believe it.

After almost four years of being unhappy at work, it’s finally time to change that.  Hopefully with a move to Chicago and a new job!!  


*UPDATE*  I just got an email from my boss saying that as long as Corporate HQ approves the transfer to the Chicago office, the Chicago office would love to have me.  I know that things wouldn't change as far as hating my job, but if HQ does approve this then I wouldn't have to scramble around trying to find a job in the next few months and instead could take my time.

He has an interview!

Thanks for your suggestions on Tuesday. According to a chart on Fertility Friend, only 10% of people get a positive result on their pregnancy test at 10 days post ovulation. I decided to call my doctor yesterday to see when he recommended I take another pregnancy test. I was reading* that often times progesterone will continue to extend your luteal cycle indefinitely so at some point I need to figure out whether I am pregnant or not….if I am not then I will need to stop taking the progesterone so that I can start a new cycle. If I haven't started a new cycle I head into the doctor on Monday (16dpo) for a blood test. I will probably use my last (expired) test sometime this weekend.

*on the internet so the veracity of what I read is debatable…

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CP got an email from the headhunter Tuesday night. The company is interested in interviewing him so he will have a phone interview in the next week or so! This weekend in our drive down to NJ we discussed the possible move to Chicago if CP is offered the job. In the end, it is just such a good opportunity (potentially for both of us) that we can’t pass it up.

If CP rocks the interview, we still have to worry about moving my job. My boss called yesterday to let me know that the Chicago office is actually overstaffed right now. CRAP. So a transfer to the office may not happen. But I am going to contact someone that tried to help me get me transferred to the Denver office a while back (he is actually in the Chicago office) to see if he has any ideas- maybe I could move to a different division? Gotta use those networking skills!

On top of everything else, CP got an ominous email from his company today that there are “going to be drastic changes” because the company is not making enough money. CP thinks this means layoffs so this new job couldn't have come at a better time. There are only 11 people in his company and the boss isn't going to fire himself. Sounds like we NEED this job in Chicago!!

In small world news, I was randomly on a step second cousin's Facebook page (who I see once a year at a family Christmas event if we go home to Chicago) and saw that she works for the company that is interviewing CP! After some messages back and forth she actually works IN THE GROUP and knows the guy interviewing CP and is going to put a good word in for him!!! Facebook IS useful!

Headhunter

Last night I had a dream that I was at the doctor and she confirmed that I was pregnant but that it was still very, very early. I woke up and was so disappointed that I wasn’t truly in the doctor’s office! Still counting down the days until Tuesday morning!

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In Tuesday’s post I alluded to a call CP received from a headhunter last week about a job in Chicago. Initially CP just played along with the guy until he heard about the position AND the 50% pay raise! He emailed me while I was at work and I about fell out of my chair. Last weekend we put together an Excel spreadsheet (ahhh being married to an engineer) of pros/cons/costs, etc and decided to at least look into the job a little more. We have started to love living in our CT town (house, location, commute, town) and have made some awesome friends, etc. so the job has to be worth it career-wise and money-wise for us to make the move. BUT, I have family in Chicago and we would be a heck of a lot closer to family in Chicago than we are to family here. Not only would it potentially be great for CP career-wise, but it might be great for me too. I would be moving to a bigger office, which means more opportunity. And if I wanted to leave my company Chicago has every industry imaginable so it may be easier for me to find something that I want.

But moving SUCKS. Just two weeks I remarked to CP THANK GOD WE DON’T HAVE TO MOVE ANYTIME SOON. Ha ha. Joke is on me (potentially). CP brought up the fact that when do we stop moving and just settle down? I agree with that statement because we said that we would stay in our current house for at least five years. But moving for a great job would be a heck of a lot easier without a kid or kids. CP wouldn’t have to get his MBA in the future if he got this job, potentially saving us tens of thousands of dollars. Then again, we would most likely lose money on selling our house and we are not renting it out in addition to the condo out west!

I spoke to my boss yesterday about the possibility of transferring my job to the Chicago office. As you may remember, my boss was angry at me when I went behind her back and tried to get transferred to the Denver office. I decided that this time, I would actually tell her in advance because this truly fell into our lap. I told her that CP received a call from out of the blue and that if the job is not perfect we won’t move because we are enjoying ourselves here. Then I asked her about getting transferred. She said that if CP starts to interview and it looks like things are heading down that road that we could start filling out paperwork. Just because there are not job postings for positions right now doesn’t mean that they don’t have an opening for someone.

As you can imagine, this discussion went MUCH better than last time.

If I don't have a job out there through my company we won’t move.....no matter how great the job is for CP. I have accrued vacation time and sick time in the hopes that I get pregnant sometime soon….if I move to a new company I won’t have that.

Stay tuned….