Potty Training

Man is potty training tiring! But I am heartened with the fact that it is going well so far. Before we even started I read the book "Oh Crap Potty Training" by Jamie Glowacki. I know that others may disagree but I am in the camp that just a generation ago (aka when we were kids), we were potty trained usually around 18 months old so I wasn't waiting until Izzy told me that she wanted to potty train. She has been excited about "big girl panties" for a while so that certainly helps. I'm not sure Izzy was ready at 18 months old, but we definitely could have trained her by her second birthday. Not knowing how long the process took (and being scared at how it would go), we waited until after our trip to Hawaii to start.

So after reading the potty training book and getting back from Hawaii, CP and I decided that this past weekend would be THE weekend because we didn't have a lot to do. Izzy woke up and went to soccer in the morning with a diaper, but after getting home we took the diaper off and told her no more diapers. The book suggested an entire day of waist down nakedness and while that was a little weird, it was helpful. As parents we were supposed to look for her "cue" that she had to go to the bathroom (I still don't know if I can see it). In a nutshell, Izzy did great! She only had one accident (of course on the carpet), but otherwise she peed and pood in her small training toilet all day long. We set 20 or 30 minute timers and would tell her that it was time to sit on the potty instead of asking her. CP and I decided ahead of time that we weren't going to tackle nighttime/nap diapers just yet so she did get a diaper for the nap and to go to bed. Yay for Izzy!

The next day was a little tougher. The book recommends no training pants, underwear, etc. for a few weeks because they feel too much like diapers so we put her in pants and set timers. At times she did well- we even got to walk to the park, play for about 10 minutes and then walk home, but did pee through three pairs of pants and then poo in another pair. However, at the end of the day she did recognize that she was peeing but didn't figure it out in time.

Monday she was at daycare and I was nervous. They said that they would take her every 30 minutes but her usual teacher wasn't there in the morning when I dropped her off so I didn't get to talk to them about how she did. Her teacher called that afternoon to let me know that Izzy only had two accidents so far (poop) and that she was exceeding expectations. She came home that night and had another poop accident- thank goodness she was wearing pants that were not open at the ankles! :-)

Yesterday Izzy only had one pee accident at school (hooray!) and it was because the kids were outside. She seems to need to go every hour or so. We have had a little resistance on going to the potty at home, but nothing too bad and we get excited every time she does go. 

I'm really proud of how well she is doing so far and we may test her by going out to dinner tonight to celebrate my promotion! Don't worry we plan on bringing an extra pair of pants with us. :-)

NH long weekend

Last Thursday CP, Izzy, and I headed out to New Hampshire to visit CP's family. The beginning and end of the long weekend were rough but thankfully most of the time in NH was worth the trip.

Wednesday at work I felt like garbage so I didn't end up eating much for dinner that night. Around midnight I woke up to awful diarrhea. I won't go into details but around 4am CP rolled over to ask if I was okay and I told him that I may not go to NH if it continued at that pace. I popped Immodium like it was candy. Thursday morning I worked a half day from home and decided not to eat anything before heading to the airport as I didn't want to have any issues on the plane. I ended up eating the blandest thing I could find at the airport- a big pretzel- before getting on the plane.

The flight also could have gone better. Izzy decided not to nap even though we picked a flight that should have fallen during her nap time. She fidgets the entire flight and we do our best to hold her on our laps on a tiny plane and to not have her kick the seat in front of her. Not even Finding Nemo on the iPad held her attention for more than a few minutes. We were really ready to get off the plane.

Get we get off this plane already???

I rock rough and stuff with my Afro Puffs

After arriving we met up with CP's dad and his wife for dinner. I eat half a sandwich then push the rest away because my stomach is killing me.

Izzy tolerated the hat for a few minutes at dinner...

We had hoped that getting Izzy to bed a little later than usual AND the no nap the day before would help her sleep like a log but at 2am she started crying and could see us in the room with her so she came into bed with us. Thankfully instead of kicking and punching us like usual she passed out in between us but was up at 5:30am. Ugh.

I was still feeling crummy so CP took Izzy to the park with his mom while I took a short nap. After they got back we decided to head to a nearby farm to check out some farm animals.

This cat came right up to Izzy and lay down to be pet. Izzy was loving it!

Izzy checking out the goats

An alpaca that has been shaved like a poodle.  Interesting....

Then we were off to a state park to go swimming. CP and I had a parenting fail in that we forgot Izzy's swim diaper- so we decided that the rest of the people swimming in the water would rather Izzy wore a regular diaper than possibly poop in the water. Izzy definitely got the short end of the stick.

Check out the judging mom in the background. Izzy's diaper must have weighed 10 pounds as she was walking out of the water- we chalked it up to leg strength training. :-)

I was finally feeling a teensy bit better so when we went out to lunch I had a delicious brie, apple and ham sandwich on a croissant. We had some nice conversation with CP's mom, her husband, and CP's grandmother while Izzy took a proper nap. That night we decided it was time for some lobster. I was wary of how my stomach would take rich lobster but decided to chance it because lobster is just sooo delicious. Like a typical Midwesterner, it takes me forever to eat a lobster with all of the cracking and one of us had to take care of Izzy so I decided to get Lazyman's lobster- aka the restaurant does all of the hard work for you.

I've missed you lobster

Turns out there is some satisfaction in cracking the lobster, but oh well. It was good nonetheless. While eating dinner I looked over and saw Richard Petty, the race car driver, walking into the restaurant. I was surprised that I recognized him, let alone knew his name because I'm the farthest thing from a NASCAR fan imaginable. It was a race weekend in NH so he must have been in town for something related to the race.

Saturday morning had us over at CP's dad and wife's house for breakfast. Izzy enjoyed trying to pet any of their four cats who generally ran away from her as much as possible. That afternoon we headed over to a friend's house where all of the guys that CP grew up with came over to hang out (they all live on the east coast). Most brought some or all of their kids but Izzy was a little young to play with most of them. CP's mom put Izzy to bed and I headed back to the party where CP and I stayed late hanging out with everyone.

Sunday morning I woke up to an email from our neighbor saying that if we needed to shower or run a power cord for electricity to let them know. *foreshadowing* I emailed asking what had happened and asking if the power was still out. Meanwhile, CP and head to Gloucester, MA for a party for my FIL's side of the family. Izzy was originally wary of the beach but I sat in the sand with her a while digging a hole and eventually she was okay with being held in our arms and jumping over waves. This was her first time in the ocean!

Enjoying playing in the sand in the horseshoe pit

On the final day it was super hot early on so we decided to go swimming at the state park again. Unfortunately, CP's grandmother came down with a bacterial infection (c diff) so CP's mom was busy with her at the hospital instead of hanging out with us (she is now feeling better with fluids and antibiotics). Izzy decided not to nap again and as a result, was super whiny on the plane before passing out for an hour. CP and I are happy that we won't be flying again with her in our laps. 

When we get home I put Izzy to bed while CP throws away some of the fridge food. The power came back on after about 12 hours or so but we don't want to chance it with milk for Izzy and some other items. CP went down to the basement for something and realized that it had flooded while the power was out. CP has been meaning to set up the sump pump back-up battery but hadn't gotten around to it.... F*ck. We spend the next hour and a half or so moving ruined items up the stairs and out to the street or salvageable items into the garage to hang on something and hopefully dry. Thankfully we don't have anything that was too high value on the floor but still not an ideal situation. We collapse into bed hoping to get enough sleep to make it through the day on Tuesday.

Physical vs Emotional

Physical

On Friday around 1pm I took my first dose of Misoprostol- 4 pills vaginally. After only 20-30 minutes I started to cramp so I took two Tylenol 3 and kept working from home. Around 3:30 the cramps were getting worse but no bleeding quite yet. Around 4pm I decided to stop working and lay on the couch as it was getting hard to focus. An hour later I took more pain pills and soon afterwards, I bled a little bit when I went to the bathroom. CP came home with Izzy and took her outside so that I could continue to lay on the couch. I tried to nap but when I would get close to falling asleep, a wave of cramping would hit and wake me up. That night I slept off and on, mostly with a heating pad on my stomach but there was minimal blood- mainly when I would get up to pee.

Saturday I called the answering service to ask if I should take another dose because nothing was really happening. The doctor said that I could take another one or wait until my appointment (Friday). I ended up taking another dose early Saturday afternoon and expecting a night of cramping once again. CP took Izzy most of the day but I was able to go outside and play with Izzy a bit. I was definitely more tired/exhausted than anything else. Without the same pain as the night before, I got a better sleep Saturday night.

Sunday I felt up to breakfast with our friends and pretty soon after that, the second dose started working. I bled heavily Sunday and all of yesterday so I am thinking that it worked? I guess we will find out on Friday.

Emotional

I expected to be more emotional about this miscarriage. Although the more I thought about it and the more that I compared myself to others, I knew that I had it better. First off, I already have Izzy. Just having her makes this so much easier because I can focus on her instead of thinking about the miscarriage. I also had an early miscarriage. If this pregnancy wasn't going to work out in the end anyway but I had to get pregnant, at least my body gave me warning signs so that I wouldn't be surprised. The low first beta, the low progesterone, etc. After the bad first ultrasound, I knew what was going to happen and cried then. It's easier not seeing the heartbeat or having a few ultrasounds where everything looks good to then be surprised with bad news.

I am sad that Izzy's embryo "twin" (I like to think that because they were retrieved during the same cycle) was not healthy enough to become Izzy's little brother or sister (my assumption). I am sad that I am now facing another fresh cycle with wonky hormones and eggs that are two years older than last time. I am sad that my eggs, my response to the drugs, etc. is unknown at this time. I am sad that we have to spend more money on drugs. I am sad that I have to put more drugs in my body. I am sad that we have to wait until my HCG goes down to 0 to start over again. I am sad that I can't just focus on having a healthy pregnancy and that we have to put more time and effort into our family building efforts.

But I have faith that it will be all worth it. 

9 month body update

I remember when I was pregnant seeing an update from Miss Conception and being surprised that many months later, the after-effects of pregnancy couldn't be ignored. I kept hearing from others about how pregnancy changes your body forever, but I guess I didn't think that it would happen to me?  

HA HA HA HA HA.

Tomorrow Izzy will be 9 months old and she will have been outside of my body longer than she was inside my body. My pre-pregnant self and my pregnant self would have liked to have known these things so here is what has and hasn't changed in the past 9 months (for the 5 month update click here): 

*Although my hair loss only lasted about two months or so, it seems to have all fallen out close to my forehead so I definitely notice a clump of hair on one side of my head that is only about two inches long when I pull my hair back. It will certainly be interesting as it grows out....

*My weight has been consistent for the past 4 months which I guess it's a good thing that I haven't gained any weight since Izzy stopped nursing?  I am still hoping that I can lose at least a few more pounds.

*Biff and Harry the hemorrhoids are STILL THERE.  They don't cause any trouble but seriously, when do they go away???

*I have no more issues with uterine soreness after working out, but my abs are still not very strong.  I think that 9 months of not using your abs/not sucking in your stomach ruins them.  I'm sure a c-section doesn't help matters. I try to remember to suck in my stomach when walking or really doing anything but I often forget. I also should probably be doing some ab work in general...

*Sexy time is back to normal.  It basically got better once I got my period when Izzy was around 5 months old.

*Prior to getting pregnant my boobs were a bit lumpy which made it hard to do monthly self-exams. Then they got huge with pregnancy and nursing.  Currently they are floppy, but even before pregnancy (because of their size) they were floppy so this isn't too much of a change. They have gotten a bit smaller since I am no longer nursing, but I am wearing bras that I wore pre-pregnancy when I was 15 pounds heavier.  That means that my band size and cup size haven't changed despite being lighter.  Whamp whamp. The only change that I truly notice is that they are smoother and less lumpy, so that is sort of nice.

*Yes, there is more on my boobs. My nipples were constantly out during pregnancy and continued to want to show themselves off while I was breastfeeding- it didn't matter if I was cold or hot.  They have retreated slightly but still come out to play more often then they did pre-pregnancy.  

*I still have a lovely pouch above my c-section scar.  I don't think this is going anywhere unless I lose some serious weight.

*I sure ate a lot of Tums during my pregnancy to deal with the heartburn (especially towards the end of the pregnancy), but these days I am not needing to take my charcoal pills very often for heartburn which is great! I have only had to take them probably 3 times in the last 9 months whereas prior to getting pregnant I would probably take them once a month.

*I can still sort of see my stretch marks- they are definitely turning white and no longer are an angry red color. I won't be sad to see these go, although I guess they will never truly go away.

Overall?  I don't hate my new body.  It's certainly different and it still needs work, but I certainly don't fret about my body as much as I did before pregnancy. Who has the time?  

Re-thinking birth control

If you have been around these parts for a period of time, you know that I have four different fertility issues: endometriosis, a large fibroid in my uterus, a short luteal phase, and some wonky hormones.

This past weekend Aunt Flo arrived 32 days after my last period. She was quite heavier than last month, but based on my cervical mucus, my luteal phase for the past month was 14 days, aka the normal amount of time. YAY!  I'm not sure if every cycle will now be this way but I would be pretty happy if pregnancy "righted" my menstrual cycle and I had one less fertility issue to worry about (even if it is a relatively minor one that can be helped by taking progesterone).

However, if Aunt Flo will be visiting again on a regular basis, I have a decision to make. If CP and I are thinking about a frozen transfer of our one embryo next January, do I go on birth control until we need to start getting my body ready for the frozen transfer? The way I see it, there are three different things in play right now. 

1. Endometriosis.  I had no endo when my OB opened me up for my c-section and endo shouldn't have been growing the past five months or so as I didn't have my period.  However, regular hormonal fluctuations with your menstrual cycle can trigger endo growth....so if I am going to start getting a regular period the endo could come back.

2. Fibroid.  There currently is a stupid fibroid that my OB saw when she did my c-section.  Not sure if the size of it has changed in the last six months but it is not in a good spot to get removed. Birth control can make fibroids grow....but from my brief research there are certain kinds that wouldn't promote growth. Whether they are also the same kinds that would only give me a period every quarter in lieu of every month is the question.  (I think I remember my doctor saying that birth control that resulted in fewer hormonal fluctuations aka one that "skips" your period are helpful for women with endo.)

3. Breastfeeding.  While I am currently contemplating dropping a pumping session at work once Izzy turns 6 months (tomorrow), birth control can effect your supply.  I am okay with supplementing formula if I don't make enough milk, but I still want most of what Izzy drinks to be breastmilk so I need to be careful about what birth control I take.

So.  Birth control pills could potentially stop any endo from growing, but they could also effect the fibroid and breastfeeding.  Or I could continue to not take any birth control, but know that the endo may start to grow.  Would I then need another surgery this fall or winter? I really don't want to have another surgery...especially knowing that if I am able to get pregnant again I am looking at another c-section.

Choices, choices.  I sometimes hate my stupid body and wish all of this was easier.

Any wise words from readers?

How am I doing?

Next week it will be 5 months since I gave birth to the most awesome daughter on the planet.  Okay, I *might* be a bit biased. :-) How am I doing?

*Right now I am down 40 lbs from my highest pregnancy weight. That means I weigh about 15-20 lbs less than when I got pregnant!!  I certainly could have been in better shape/weight when I got pregnant, but I was not exercising, eating my unhappiness, and having lots of "fun" with Lupron so it's not too surprising that I weigh less now. I didn't use pregnancy as an excuse to eat all of the things so the 20 pounds that I gained during pregnancy came off quickly.  Currently I am stuck at a weight that is higher than I am happy with, but I'm not eating as healthy as I could be so I can't expect to lose weight unless I eat a bit healthier.

*Unfortunately, Biff and Harry the hemorrhoids are still hanging around. They don't cause any problems and are certainly a lot smaller, but still there. I'm hoping they decide to go away at some point....

*As I mentioned here, I do have some uterine soreness after running. I ended up emailing my doctor to ask if that was normal and she wants me to go in for an appointment.  Ruh roh.  Maybe I shouldn't have said anything?  

*I had hoped that I wouldn't be one of those people who had bigger feet after pregnancy, but it looks like I am one of the unlucky ones.  About half of my shoes still fit....the other half don't.  Thankfully I don't own 10 million pairs of shoes, but it is still annoying. Time to purge the closet and give away things that no longer fit!

*I pulled out a plastic bin of warm weather clothes last week and it was like I went shopping!  I was too pregnant to wear any of the clothes last year so I had forgotten that I even had most of these items.  The good news is even with the pouch I still have over my incision scar (and the chorus of friends telling me that it won't go away any time soon), most of the clothes fit (I think because everything but the pouch is a bit smaller than before).

*The good news about my weight being lower than when I started the pregnancy and that fitting clothes is that I am not feeling too down about my body. Sometimes I get down, but then try to tell myself that it has only been X amount of time since giving birth.  I do wish that I didn't have the stomach pouch and I do wish that my stretch marks on my stomach would start to fade to white, but neither of those things are happening, so I might as well just suck it up.

*Right around Izzy's four month birthday I started losing tons of hair.  I swear I could save all of it up and make a coat out of it after only a month!  I was sort of hoping this postpartum symptom wouldn't hit me because instead of having luxurious hair like you are supposed to during pregnancy, I had dry hair that felt like straw.  But sure enough, I am losing hair and have already been warned that when it does grow back I will have a ton of wispy hairs in the front.  Awesome.

*I'm pretty tired these days.  Izzy is sleeping through the night and is awesome, but there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done!  I suppose my exhaustion could be a lot of things- breastfeeding/pumping burns calories so my body has to be working a bit harder every day, the lack of a husband the past two weeks because of his work travel, not getting a ton of down time, etc.

*Sex hurts.  Despite having a c-section.  Yes this sucks.

*Despite feeling tired, I'm also feeling pretty lucky.  I'm still amazed by the miracle of science that not only got me pregnant in a lab, but with my body for sustaining a healthy pregnancy the first time around.  My c-section was textbook with no complications. Despite our initial issues with breastfeeding, it is now going well. I also have been lucky enough to be able to run (forget about the uterine soreness).  So far, no postpartum depression. Yep, I'm pretty lucky.

*I was a little worried about what my bra size would be after pregnancy because the two bras that I bought after my rib cage started to really hurt during pregnancy were size 42H!  My largest band size when I was at my heaviest weight was 38 so I was worried that I would always be in the 40s post-pregnancy.  During my maternity leave I only wore soft nursing bras for fear of clogged ducts and other problems, but once I started work I started to wear my underwire pregnancy bras again because they at least fit my cup size (unfortunately they are not nursing bras though so sort of annoying to deal with when nursing/pumping). I finally took a few minutes last week to get sized again and to buy an underwire nursing bra and my current size is 36GG.  So still ridonkulously huge (cup-size wise), but at least my band size is back to normal. 

*It's funny.  I was thinking the other day about how, even over a year after finding out that I was pregnant, I still check the toilet paper in the bathroom.  During pregnancy it was to make sure that I wasn't bleeding.  Then for the past five months it has been to check if I was getting my period back.  This week, after a year and two months since my last period, I don't have to check anymore.  Boooooo.  I was hoping not to get it at all while I was breastfeeding, but I guess almost 5 months is pretty good.

Recovery from a c-section

Day of surgery

Once the surgery was over I was wheeled up to the recovery room. The spinal started wearing off and I started to feel my incision. I had tons of shivering (even though I wasn't cold) and teeth chattering. That seems to be my m.o. when I come out of surgery. After about two hours I was moved up to my room in the maternity ward. I didn't have a ton of pain, but I also wasn't moving around. The nurses put compression boots on my legs that filled up every couple of minutes with air- that was to make sure I didn't get a blood clot. I also had different machines hooked up to me checking my blood pressure, oxygen level, etc. so there was a lot of beeping and hissing going on in our room.  I also had an IV for hydration and pain meds and a huge pad between my legs for bleeding.

CP and Izzy slept in the room with me. Izzy was up crying most of the night and needed to be held by one of us at all times so CP and I got about an hour and a half of sleep that night. I couldn't leave the bed so I wasn't a tremendous help and I was trying to breastfeed every three hours. We knew Iz was at least getting something as she had some wet diapers.

Day 2

The next day a nurse helped me stand up fairly early on which was to help with my recovery. The pain of getting from a laying down position to sitting and then to standing was nothing like the pain after my fibroid surgery. I'm guessing it has to do with where the doctors made the incision- even though it is much longer than any of my other 5 scars, it isn't used as much for that movement. I was surprised and happy that I wasn't going to feel like my insides were ripping apart again because that was not fun.

I also had both the catheter and the compression boots taken out/off this day. Nurses had to help me to the bathroom where I got the oh-so-glamorous mesh underwear and huge pad. Iz got checked by the pediatrician (she looks great!) and I got checked by a doctor (your incision is perfect!).

This day was a bit rough as I did my best to recover from major surgery and battle no sleep. My pain levels weren't too bad though. I was allowed to shower but chose to wait until the next day.  When my parents came to visit, they offered to hold Izzy while we took naps. This was super helpful and even my 30 minutes of sleep during the day felt great. 

I was still trying to breast feed every three hours and it really was hit or miss. One nurse gave me nipple shells which helped to bring out my nipples prior to feeding.  The nice thing about a different nurse every 8 hours or so is that they all have different tips and tricks, but at times consistency would have been nice. We only had two nurses that were not super helpful the entire stay which was good.

That night CP and I did a better job of sleeping while the other person held Izzy, but it was still a rough night.

Day 3

This morning we got to meet with a lactation consultant.  She warned us that starting on this day, babies tend to get very frustrated because they are hungry and your milk hasn't come in yet.  She advised me to start pumping until I saw milk, then to get Izzy to latch.  This definitely helped because Izzy was almost inconsolable when she was hungry and getting her to latch when she was that angry was difficult.

I felt better and could move around the room, but was warned not to overdo it.  I also got to take a shower which felt down right luxurious. 

Randomly, my legs filled with fluid during the day which the nurses told me was normal.  You get a lot of fluid pumped into you during surgery and when that is mixed with starting to walk around, most people blow up.  My feet were more swollen at this time than they were during pregnancy- it was really gross.

The hospital food was pretty disgusting and CP was getting bored with eating in the cafeteria, so that night we ordered sushi.  It was awesome and totally worth it.

That night Izzy's weight dropped down to 7 lb, 4 oz (down from her birth weight of 8 lb, 3oz), or about 10.4%.  While up to 10% of weight loss is normal, the extra .4% didn't make the nurses happy.  No one tried to push formula on me though and they could tell that my milk was about to come in and her weight would start to increase.

Day 4

We were doing well as a group and had the option of going home this day, but we chose to stay another day and I'm glad we did.  Although the constant (every 2-3 hour) check-ins by nurses and aides were annoying, the extra breastfeeding tips were really helpful.  That day my milk came in and I was very excited about my ridiculous fun bags.

The best news of the day was that Harry and Biff have deflated and will hopefully be retreating in the coming days or weeks.

Day 5

We were warned that discharge would take a while and that we would be waiting and the nurse was right.  We had our pediatrician visit and an OB visit to check up on me and Izzy and got some more helpful tips from a different lactation consultant.  She advised me to start wearing a nipple shield while breastfeeding to keep Izzy awake.  The shield would hit the roof of Izzy's mouth, thus keeping her awake for longer periods of time while feeding.

After getting home, I weighed myself.  I weighed 10 lbs less than my last weigh in at OB's office at 38 weeks 1 day (not sure how close OB's office and home scale are though). The fluid build up in my legs is not helping, I have to admit that i was hoping for a bigger drop off.

Today I also had my first little poop which wasn't too bad.

I do have some pain in my uterus when peeing, which my doctor attributed to them moving around my organs during surgery.  This is normal and should go away in a few days.

Day 7 

Down another 6 lbs!  I had a slightly more satisfying poop, but I am still constipated.

Day 8 

Amazingly enough, I seem to have stopped bleeding!  I'm only taking Motrin at this point as the Norco results in constipation.  My only pain is when I pee which is odd because the pain is mainly close to my butt.

Day 9

Another day of no bleeding and I'm down another 6 pounds!  At this point I'm only 3 pounds away from my first OB appointment weight/pre-BFP weight.  Not sure what my weight was before I started on the fertility meds and I really need to lose a lot more. Let's hope healthy eating and breastfeeding can keep the scale dropping even though I can't exercise just yet.  I'm still having pain when I pee which can't be normal.  I'm looking forward to my OB appointment.  The fluid in my feet and ankles is finally much better. Shoes that were tight on discharge day are now okay to wear.  I still have nice sock lines though.

Day 13

Today I'm back to my pre-BFP weight but boy is my stomach still soft. Stomach skin seems to be pulling back up so that I have less of a pouch, but stretch marks are still angry and red (albeit less red). Gas is not as much of a problem today.  Bleeding has started back up again.

Today I met with my OB and asked her about the peeing pain.  She seems to think that I might have an internal hemorrhoid so she gave me a steroid that I get to stick where the sun don't shine.  (My OB called on Monday and let me know that I actually have a UTI, so I am now working on getting rid of that with antibiotics while not getting thrush at the same time).

Day 14
It has now been two weeks so I am officially cleared to drive, walk up and down the stairs as much as I want, and to start walking for exercise (too bad it's FREEZING out!).  I am still not allowed to carry anything heavy (basically just Izzy), but it will be nice to start to do more around the house again.

Third trimester recap

With just two days left until my C-section, I am going to assume that I can talk about the third trimester without missing out on anything exciting.  Of course I say that and I am totally going to jinx myself!!

First off, this trimester went by SO QUICKLY.  

Various pregnancy symptoms that occurred throughout the trimester included needing Tums after almost every single meal- often more than just two Tums to fully calm my stomach down.  Stairs often leave me out of breath, so I have just tried to walk up them a bit slower than usual.  I have been able to keep taking long walks with Buster, but about halfway through the trimester I started having to walk slower and would get Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the walk.  Constantly feeling hot this trimester, even if it was only 60 degrees in the house, was insane.  

During my first trimester I had a few black hairs on my chin that seemed to grow back just days after plucking them.  Thanks long-term Lupron shots!  The hair on my head grew really quickly as well.  During the second trimester the rest of my hair on my body and head grew quickly, but not the unwanted hairs on my face.  For the third trimester it was like I was back in the first trimester- legs, bikini area and underarms grew slowly, but the chin hairs were back in business.  :-/

As you guys know, I have been rather busty for a while now.  This is something that only got worse with pregnancy.  When we were little, my mom used tell me and my sister to "Check the deck" when we dropped food on our chest.  I swear I am not a gross eater but I often had to check the deck during this pregnancy (a couple of times I had to check the belly!) as soup or whatever I was eating had dropped onto my body.  Can't take me anywhere!!

At the beginning of the third trimester I had an awful six-day bout with a migraine.  Thank goodness there were baby-friendly drugs that I could take to finally relieve the pain.  I only had to take them twice again the rest of the trimester.

Starting at 30 weeks I spotted my first stretch marks on the bottom of my belly.  As of today there are more of them and they are reaching higher up my stomach, but they are still only on my belly.

At 33 weeks I found two black dots on my right nipple.  A quick check by my OB and it was determined they were normal.

At 34 weeks my engagement ring had to come off.  I'm looking forward to putting BOTH of my rings back on.

Biff decided to join Harry's party at 35 weeks. He still sucks on occasion, but didn't end up inviting any more friends.  I look forward to his and Harry's demise soon.   

At 35 1/2 weeks CP finally got to see the squirming belly.  He was transfixed as my belly moved up, around, and all over the place.  (He had felt the baby move before but hadn't paid too much attention to actually seeing it.)

That same weekend CP and I decided to tackle our last home improvement project before the baby arrived. 

Every single OB visit I have had to give a urine sample.  Every single visit I have somehow managed to get some on my clothes or hands.  Until 36 weeks.  I think that I finally have it down!  Maybe I should have taken more OPK and pregnancy tests- I would have been better at this!

Around 37 weeks- HOLY SORENESS.  Sore in thighs, hips, and lady bits area.  Waddling some days, not waddling other days.  I am the most sore when I first get out of bed in the morning or when I have been sitting for a while and first get up.  This has continued for the past two weeks and isn't super comfortable.  But to be honest, I just try to roll with it as much as possible.  It is what it is.  I shouldn't be sailing through the last few weeks of a pregnancy because that wouldn't be normal.

I'm pretty excited to be having this baby soon because I was too cheap to buy a winter jacket.  I didn't really think that Chicago would not only have snow twice already this fall, but also to have highs in only the 20s!  I have been walking around with my dad's fleece that completely zips up with the outer layer of my ski jacket that only buttons halfway down.  Yep, this is how I have been rolling this month.  It's okay, you can laugh- my sister certainly did!!

Finally, don't tell my doctor but I have been trying not to drink too much water towards the end of the night so that I don't have to get up every hour to pee.  I still get up every 2-3 hours so I am not completely dehydrated, but it is still ridiculous.  I'm looking forward to not having a little person pressing on my bladder 24/7.

All of this being said, pregnancy has been an amazing and wonderful experience.  To see my body go through a huge transformation has been crazy and I feel SO, SO lucky that it has gone so well.  To this day, I am still amazed that our first IVF worked.  As I now transfer into becoming a mother in two short days, I will continue to cheer those of you still in the trenches. Thanks for sticking with me!!

Labor day weekend

How is it already Thursday?  I'm not complaining because that means that tomorrow is Friday and I work from home, but still.  I didn't mean to disappear for more than a week, but things have been crazy!

Last Thursday CP and I packed up the car and headed out to a cabin rental at Silver Lake, MI (think central western MI) to join two other couples and their kids.  We didn't know anything about the area but Silver Lake is right off of Lake Michigan and has some really cool dunes.  There was a whole dune buggy culture that we were not expecting, but the cabin was cheap and the water was a great temperature.

Last year this same vacation (well, same friends, different location) had me worried because here we were infertile and trying to hang out with two couples that each had two children. This year, being pregnant made the trip so much easier.  Well, I was a little more exhausted than the other adults and I couldn't drink with them, but I wasn't feeling too awkward being the childless couple because at least there is a good chance that I will have my own child this year. 

There were three 23-monthers and a 3.5 year old.  It was hectic at times but the kids were pretty good for the most part.  While CP and the couples drank, I had no craving what-so-ever for alcohol, but it was weird to be the ONLY sober adult there.  I'm much more of a stick in the mud when I am sober....but I was not envying the hangovers that everyone had!  We had a good time at the beach, on a boat, at a petting farm, etc.  Most likely due to lack to sleep, too much sun the day before, and overall exhaustion, I became moody on Sunday afternoon and skipped out on the beach trip with everyone and instead stayed in the cabin watching "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix on my phone.  Have you guys checked out this show?  It's awesome.  By the time everyone got home I was in a better mood and ready to be social again.

Overall the weekend was great, but I was a bit annoyed when we got home.  Before we left for the trip, we decided that each couple would take a night and make dinner and then the final night we would go out with the kids.  Everyone went to the store to grab booze and food at some point.  CP and I figured that the only thing that we needed to split at the end of the trip was the boat rental.  But no.  Each couple had to submit their tally of how much they spent for the long weekend.  This included the boat (fine),  booze (of which I had none) and food for the kids (of which we have none).  Then we split it three ways.  How is that fair?  To be honest, we probably would have just said that it was fine to split it three ways if one of our friends had said, "oh should CP and NSC pay less because NSC didn't drink and they don't have kids?"  But no one brought that up.  And it's not like this is the first time.  A few weeks ago we spent the weekend with one of the couples- both times we went out to a restaurant we ended up splitting the bill, despite the fact that I didn't drink any alcohol and we don't have any kids.  I don't know if our friends are just not thinking about it, but it's annoying.  I decided not to say anything (although maybe I should have because clearly I am ranting about it) because in the end, it's not worth it, but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Despite that, it was a nice long weekend away from work.  We sailed through the city without traffic on Monday (amazing!) and picked up the dogs from the kennel.  5am on Tuesday morning I woke up to a collar shaking from downstairs and the smell immediately hit my nose.  One of the dogs had pooped downstairs (not a common occurrence).  I jumped out of bed, threw my glasses on, and went to find the culprit.  I immediately figured out that it was Buster due to his guilty face, but I also recognized that it was explosive diarrhea.  Here is where the story may become a bit TMI.  It was ALL OVER the first floor of our house.  I called for CP and took Buster out so that he could finish the job outside.  CP and I then spent the next THREE HOURS bathing Buster (thank goodness for our motion detector lights on the garage because it was still dark out), wiping down the couch, stereo, a plant, walls, kitchen cabinets, and steam cleaning the carpets.  He really made his mark all over the house.  *shudder*  I ended up staying home with him on Tuesday to continue cleaning and make sure that he wasn't going to have another episode.  Thankfully it seems to have been a one time occurrence and his stomach has righted itself on his new diet of boiled rice and boiled chicken.  Oh man it was awful.  But I guess we are ready for kids?  

So yeah, no way to really end this post on a high note other than I have 5 more days until I officially hit the third trimester of this pregnancy!!  And NFL football starts tonight- WOO HOO!

Yesterday

Yesterday was certainly a day that I would not like to repeat ever again.

CP and I had marital relations in the morning and I had two spots of bright red blood on the toilet paper afterwards.  I didn't think that it was too big of a deal so I went to work and everything was fine every time I went to the bathroom.  Around 1:30 I headed to the bathroom again and when I checked, there was a bright red streak of blood.  I wiped again to make sure and sure enough, there was more.  F*ck.  I decided that it was time to call my doctor.  

My doctor was in the middle of a surgical consult and couldn't get on the phone, so I was trying to figure out the next train out of the city so that I could head over to the office (at that point they only leave once an hour and make all stops).  The nurse advised me that no, I shouldn't come into the office, I should go to Labor & Delivery at the hospital because they will want to monitor me.  My mind immediately went to needing to get on the next train (not for another 45 minutes), heading home to grab the car, and then driving the 25 minutes to the hospital.  When I called CP to tell him my plan he said that I should head straight to the hospital and he would meet me there.  I started to look up El trains that go directly to the hospital and CP thought I was crazy to even think about taking public transportation.  "This is not the time to be frugal, just take a damn cab."  LOL.

My boss was still at lunch so I told the Executive Secretary that I needed to leave and I headed out the door to catch a cab.  The cabbie was nice and quiet the entire ride (thankfully there was no traffic), but there was some beeping noise in the cab that went off, two beeps, every three seconds.  I wanted to yell "turn that f*cking thing off" but instead just stewed in the back of the cab and texted my mom.

*Good to know fact for if there is a next time (please don't let there be a next time)- the cab ride from my office to the hospital without traffic is about 30 minutes.

When we got close to the hospital, the cabbie asked where Labor & Delivery was.  Dude, I have no clue!  So I had him drop me off where I saw the "Emergency" sign, but when he pulled in it was for ambulances.  Whoops.  I walked in the sliding doors and thankfully found a cop who walked me down to L & D.

*Good to know fact-  Verizon cell phones don't work in the hospital unless you are near a window.  So when I tried to call CP (who was already at the hospital), my call wouldn't go through.

When I got to L & D, they knew I was coming so I was immediately given a wristband and taken back to a room to undress.  I called CP's work cell phone (thankfully on AT&T's network) from the hospital phone to let him know that I was in L & D.  He was in the lobby and asked the lady working where L & D was.  She didn't want to tell him because when she looked up my information in the computer, it wasn't in the system yet (the staff had to input everything because I had not pre-registered for delivery yet- of course there was a note in my calendar to do it next week).  He ended up getting frustrated and decided to find the place himself. 

First nurse came into the room with CP and I was happy to see him.  She asked a few questions such as what number pregnancy this was and if I could feel the baby move.  I felt the baby move a few times in the cab ride, but hadn't felt anything since getting to the hospital.  She had CP walk my paperwork back to the nurse's station and as soon as the door closed, she asked if I felt safe at home and if I would be safe bringing a baby back home.  (My answers were obviously yes.)  Finally, she asked whether I had any alcohol, cigarettes or drugs so far this pregnancy (no).

I went to the bathroom again and saw more blood.

CP came back in as the nurse put a toco (at least that is what it was named on the screen) on  my stomach- it measures contractions. They also put a monitor on for the babies' heartbeat. Thankfully the baby was doing great- between 133 and 145, steady and strong (although I was a little freaked out b/c it sounded different than the Doppler at the doctor's office).

Then we waited.

A med student came in to ask a bunch of questions on my history. She seemed nervous and unsure of herself....we think she just started this job. She left with her answers and came back a while later with a resident. After asking some questions, the resident put a speculum in and boy was that painful. It usually isn't too bad when I go to the GYN but possibly because of the extra blood flow to the area during pregnancy (?) it was painful.  She took a few swabs to determine if there was any amniotic fluid for pre-term labor, for strep B, and also looked around for the cause of the blood flow (couldn't find anything).

Then we waited.

Shift change!  Another nurse came in to ask more questions.  Told us that the baby was doing great with a strong heartbeat and no contractions.  She stayed in the room with us for a while; at one point the baby started to hiccup which she identified via the doppler.  The nurse claimed that the hiccuping is a sign of good lung development.

Then we waited.

Then an OB came in to check my cervix. Again, very painful. But good news was that my cervix was closed.

Then we waited.

Finally, the doctor came in and said everything looks good. That they can't find the cause of the bleeding but sometimes it just happens and that I might have some more bleeding in next 24 hours, but unless it picks up, I'm okay. My only annoyance with him?  He called it spotting.  IF IT WAS ONLY SPOTTING I WOULDN'T HAVE COME INTO THE HOSPITAL!! I grumbled to CP about that later and he said "who cares?"  Well I do because I don't want that doctor thinking that I am a hypochondriac (he is the same doctor that saw me when I had the one swollen leg).

Five hours later, we left the hospital and rushed home because CP had his own doctor appointment for his still-lingering pneumonia. More drugs for CP, but hopefully he can finally kick this stupid thing!

All I can say is thank goodness CP wasn't traveling this week. I am still a bit sore from the poking and prodding from yesterday, but I'm glad we got checked out and the baby is doing okay.  

We now have this message to our baby in our kitchen:

(at least not until November 29th)

(baby drawing credit to my mom and my sister a few weeks ago)

A club I didn't want to join

Mark the day ladies. At 23 weeks, 1 day I became part of a specialized pregnancy club that I was hoping to avoid. Yes, I have my first hemorrhoid.  Even the look of the word gives me shivers running down my spine.

I was really hoping I could skip this.  Sunny's description of her 'roids at 38 weeks has me very nervous for what is to come. 

So should I name him (because you just know it's male)?  I don't want to make him feel comfortable and have him stick around. I certainly don't want him to invite any friends to this party.

I was wholly unprepared for this. It's like getting caught without enough super tampons when your period starts in the middle of a work meeting and you can't leave to run to the store. (Ahem.  Something that happened during my first week of work in CT when I used to go through five super tampons an hour thanks to my large fibroid and/or endo!).  Except for the first two weeks of pregnancy, I have been regular for the first time in my life so I was just not expecting this.

So ladies if I am not having any pain, itching, etc then do I just leave him alone and hope he goes away?  Should I contact my doctor?  

On a related note, why do i keep getting these pregnancy symptoms early? Everything I see on both swelling and hemorrhoids says that they are common in the third trimester. But I still have a few weeks until the third trimester. Ugh. I'm sure it's the universe getting back at me for saying that things are going well so far. 

NSC:0, Universe:1.

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Today I am feeling especially exposed on the blog.  I told a good friend about this space which is a BIG, HUGE deal because as you know, CP doesn't even know about the blog.  It makes me feel naked, but I know that my friend is in need of some support and I keep telling her about this fantastic blogging community.  When her blog is up and ready I'll let you guys know so that you can head over and try to cheer her up.  

Random tidbits

*I finally heard from my doctor after asking them if it was a problem that CP had pneumonia.  They asked what kind he had (viral or bacterial) and I wasn't sure the doctor at the outpatient clinic even told him.  But once I told the nurse that he was taking antibiotics, she said that he had the "good kind" of pneumonia- aka the non-contagious one (bacterial).  However, she was concerned that I had a sore throat and that I was producing some yellow phlegm so she put me on an antibiotic.  I didn't think that it was totally necessary as I basically feel fine, but the Z-pack is safe during pregnancy so I decided to get rid of whatever is in me.

*CP and I went to our local farmer's market on Saturday.  We were getting fresh veggies and fruits to can and freeze.  We ended up making Raspberry Preserves, Caribbean Peach Chutney, tons of pesto from basil in our garden, and tons of chicken stock.  Oh, and I was able to get 12 ears of fresh corn for $4 so I was in heaven!!

Raspberry preserves on the left, Caribbean Peach Chutney on the right

*CP started reading his Expectant Father book.  I randomly picked it up to see if it said anything about being extra nice to your wife (ha ha ha) and noticed that the author had a small section on infertility.  The author was explaining how the embryo is implanted into the uterus during IVF.  Thankfully in the front of the book the author included his email address for any comments or questions.  I decided to email the author to let him know that he should change the terminology from "implanted" to "transferred."  If all embryos were implanted during IVF then everyone would get pregnant!  To my shock the author wrote back a few minutes later thanking me for my email and saying that he was going to be doing an update of the book and that sort of information is helpful.  

*We have one more week of helping lift Fuzzy Britches up and down the stairs to take her out.  I'm crossing my fingers that next Wednesday the vet gives her the all clear to take the stairs herself because it is getting harder to lift most of her 76 pound body up and down a few stairs the bigger I get.

*The past two days my ankles have been swollen despite it not being that hot out outside.  After helping to make dinner, I sat my butt on the couch and put my feet above my heart the rest of the night to try to get the swelling to go down.  It didn't really do anything so I ended up sleeping on my back last night with my feet on the Snoogle plus two more pillows.  Of course when I woke up this morning I was convinced that I had killed the baby because I slept on my back.  I was relieved to feel movement after drinking some orange juice this morning, but I simply don't know what to do with this stupid swelling.  I keep telling myself that although it is annoying, swelling is SO MUCH BETTER than morning sickness and/or not being pregnant.

*I finally was able to sit down and watch MTV's True Life episode about infertility.  I think that the ladies did a great job and I'm proud of them for putting themselves out there.  The random thing about it was that the Chicago couple not only had the same RE doctor as me but also went to the same clinic for both appointments and for the retrieval/transfer (they were in two different locations).  Crazy!!

*On Friday CP and I have three daycare tours lined up.  I have no idea what to ask- any suggestions on things that we should be thinking about?

Pneumonia

CP has been battling an upper respiratory infection for the past two weeks or so.  Half of that time he spent in Puerto Rico for work, but when he got home on Saturday night, he simply didn't sound good.  He had gone to an outpatient clinic before his work trip, getting an inhaler and a cough suppressant which didn't seem to be doing much.  Then Tuesday night he was having trouble getting a full breath and became anxious because it made him feel claustrophobic.

Thankfully he was smart enough to head back to the outpatient clinic yesterday to figure out if he was misdiagnosed.  The short answer is yes.  He has pneumonia in his right lung and very low oxygen content in his blood.  Yikes.  I'm a little annoyed at him for not asking the doctor whether his pregnant wife should be worried about getting something from him, but I have a message into my doctor in order to find out.  So far his new drugs seem to be helping as he actually slept through the night last night.

Make sure to check back tomorrow because the outside of our house has been transformed with new windows, new siding, and new gutters and I have lots of pictures!  :-)

20 week checkup

Yesterday I had my 20 week check-up with my doctor.  I should have, but didn't realize, that this appointment would have been more beneficial AFTER my 20 week ultrasound.  Oh well.  Now I know.

• We discussed the swelling incident because it happened again on Wednesday night!  I didn't eat anything particularly salty, but there it was, a ridiculously swollen ankle/leg at only 20 weeks.  I could even leave indents in my skin from just pressing on the area. My doctor was also able to leave indents on both legs during my appointment, despite the fact that I slept with my foot up most of the night (which made the swelling subside) and I had only been up for 1.5 hours.  She suggested lots of water, lots of watermelon and asparagus (natural diuretics), and that walking would help.  

Scary swollen foot and leg!!!  Check out the indents!

• I asked about a weird ridge I feel sometimes running down the top of my belly.  It is my ab muscles pulling apart, which is normal.  Nothing I can do about it, and no more ab exercises for me (I wasn't doing them anyway).
• So far I have gained 10 pounds which was quite a shock to suddenly jump up that much.  The doctor said some of the weight was probably the swelling in my legs and that my weight gain is totally normal.  I may continue putting on weight at a faster pace in the second trimester, but it will slow down in the third trimester.
• Baby's heartbeat sounded normal and strong on the doppler- I can't wait to actually see the baby on Monday though (also worried about that appointment but that's another story).
• I told the doctor that I thought I was feeling movement in the past week or so.  Generally about 20 minutes after I eat something (especially when I eat fruit), I start to feel weird sensations in my uterus.  People usually say that they feel like gas bubbles, but I guess fluttering is what it feels like to me.  It certainly is unlike anything that I have felt before and I can't wait to feel real kicks!!
• For my crazy question of the appointment (there is always one!), I asked if there was any way for a doctor to know that you have an incompetent cervix.  I'm sure most regular pregnant women out there have no idea what IC is, but I have read enough infertility blogs that I am seriously scared of having it.  According to my doctor, that is one thing that they are going to check out on my 20 week ultrasound on Monday.  If I had ever had surgery on my cervix, an abnormal pap smear, or if I was experiencing lots of discharge then those would be two warning signs.  None of those apply to me so I am most likely fine and we will find out more on Monday.

For those of you that made it through this post on a Friday, here are two cute pictures of the dogs from last night.  :-)  Have a great weekend!

Buster thinks this heat is for the birds

Koda snuggling with her favorite toy

Good and the Bad- Easter weekend edition

Good and the Bad

All of the Good from Easter weekend:

*CP worked really hard Friday and Saturday to finish painting both our bedroom and the first floor bathroom (even though we use low VOC paint we decided that I should stay out of the room).  We now need to clean up the floors, hang our new blinds, put up the custom shelves for our closet, and move our furniture back into the room.  I can't wait!!  (Hopefully I can post some before & after pictures soon.)

*Saturday night I finally met my good high school friend's wife and he finally met CP.  We had a fun night out- I wish that he still lived in the Chicago area.

*CP made a delicious Easter dinner of ham, spring pea soup, an asparagus/lima bean dish, and a spinach/potato souffle.  I made rolls (but forgot to add salt- whoops!) while my mom made a limoncello trifle and my sister made a yellow cake shaped like a bunny.  It was all delicious (I couldn't eat the trifle because it had raw eggs in it).

*Fuzzy Britches and Busters' "cousin" came with  my sister and her boyfriend so Buster had some much-needed play time/rough housing last night.   

*Beautiful weather this weekend.  In the high 50s both days and sunny.  I took Buster on a 2.3 mile walk on Saturday and it was glorious.  I can't wait until it continues to get nicer out!

*My daffodils, tulips, crocuses, and hyacinths bulbs that I planted last fall are finally starting to pop up through the mulch.  I can't wait to see them- that's when spring is really in full swing!

All of the Bad from Easter weekend:

*Right before CP and I were about to put up the new mirror in the downstairs bathroom, I dropped it and it broke.  Now we have to go buy a new one because we have already drilled the holes for the mirror and don't want to ruin the nice new walls!

*My parents have a timeshare and often can't use the points so CP and I get to take fabulous trips.  It's how we have been able to travel to Hawaii, Cancun, the Bahamas, and ski in Colorado.  I truly thought that our IVF cycle wasn't going to work so before we started it we put in a request to go to Ecuador.  As you guys know, CP has been traveling around the world for work and because his company flies him on business class, we already have two free flights to go anywhere in the world except for Australia/New Zealand.  So between the free hotel and free flights we were looking at a really inexpensive vacation.  Unfortunately, we were still on the waiting list, then found out about the pregnancy, so we decided to withdraw the request.  Hopefully we get to head down there soon....for now it just won't work.

*We have been trying to sell our condo out west for 2.5 months now.  It's extremely frustrating that we haven't had any offers yet.  I really am loathe to rent it out again but it may come to that.  *sigh*  We were hoping to use the proceeds on our house here- like for windows or siding.  :-(

*Speaking of our house, we are fairly certain that we have a dead animal in one of our air ducts.  The smell started on Friday while I was working from home and I thought it was burnt hair or something.  We opened doors and windows and asked my parents what they thought it was....yep, dead animal.  Unfortunately the duct cleaner company can't come to our house until Weds and the temperature has dropped back down to 40 so no open windows.  :-(  I guess I'm going to have to burn a scented candle!

How was your weekend?