This week CP and I booked a week-long trip this summer to Lake Winnipesaukee (NH). We will be sharing a house with two couples that we met while I went to law school (the husbands went to school with me). We have all managed to stay friends despite the fact that we live in CT, one couple lives in Chicago, and the other couple lives in DC.
I’m definitely looking forward to the week as we all haven’t been together since our wedding over two years ago. However….both couples have two kids. The couple that lives in DC had their first kid without trying very hard and their second was a “surprise” when they didn’t use a condom one night. One night.
The other couple tried for almost a year and were about to head in for infertility testing when they got pregnant with twins.
Of course we are super happy for both of them. But is it going to be weird spending a week with four kids if I’m not pregnant by this summer? Both women know about our fertility struggles. They know about my surgery and that we have been trying for a while. They both don’t push it in our face, but that doesn’t mean that the potential for awkwardness still may be there.
To top it off, we are not allowed to bring our dogs that week because our friend is worried about her kids and the big dogs. They used to watch Fuzzy Britches in law school so they know that she is gentle and kind, but the mother alarm has gone off in her. CP and I decided not to push the issue, but it’s rather annoying because yes, we do have big dogs but doggie gates can be used in the house and our dogs are well behaved (not to mention they would act as vacuum cleaners for anything that fell on the floor). Hopefully CP’s dad can watch the dogs that week or else our expenses go way up.
I’m just crossing my fingers that I am pregnant by then….but we all know how that venture has gone so far!
8 comments:
I have found that I can kind of change my mentality during what could be awkward situations. So...maybe by just acknowledging it might be awkward and thinking of how to deal with certain situations it will go okay? I just hope you are able to relax and enjoy your vacation! And I sure hope you are pregnant at that time :).
ICLW #75
Hang in there!! Hopefully well both get lucky with IUI next month!!
I've had 3 girlfriends who have been in your situation. We've had many talks about this same topic and here's what I remember:
1. Remember it's not their fault that you haven't conceived yet...don't taint the experience and have fun (drink an extra glass of wine or two) LOL
2. It may be just as awkard for them as it is for you. They obviously know your history with TTC
3. Talk about your feelings to them. If they are good friends they will respect the way you feel.
4. Don't let yourself "feed" into the awkardness or any type of resentment. Accentuate the positives of the situation (you are spending a week with your good friends & husband)
I hope you can relax and enjoy yourself on this trip.
And better yet....hopefully you are preggo by then and won't have to worry about any of this.
I can totally relate to wanting to be pregnant for that trip. I agree with Christine that acknowledging it will be awkward and planning for certain situations might help. It's definitely helpful that they know about your situation so they can be more sensitive, hopefully. Sometimes with these kinds of things I worry so much about them in advance, and then it turns out not to be as bad as I expected. Or, if you have trouble when you're there, maybe you can have some escape routes planned (time alone with your husband, etc).
p.s. It sucks that you can't bring your dogs. :(
Hi from ICLW! I support the having a few escape options ready. I would also probably hit the wine a little hard, but maybe that's not the best coping mechanism. :-)
I think you might be overthinking it, but I don't have any advice as I would probably do the same thing.
You have time, so just try to relax and focus on you and CP.
Hopefully since they're aware of the situation they won't say anything inappropriate. I think it's good that they know so there won't be any "So, when are you guys gonna.." paired with raised eyebrows.
And I think if they can bring their kids (which are basically animals), you should be able to bring your dogs. :)
Post a Comment