Recently a close friend of mine suffered a pregnancy loss at 21 weeks. My heart went out to her as she sobbed on the phone to me. I wish that I lived closer so that I could have given her a hug and comforted her in person.
Over the course of our conversation she beat herself up because while devastated, she felt guilty for wondering when she could try to get pregnant again. My friend is a few years older so time is of the essence for her. Because I have started to read other infertility blogs in the past year, I was able to tell her that this was completely normal. That she should take the time to mourn her loss, but that when you are expecting to have a second child in your arms in a few short months, most people would want to know when they could start trying again.
She told me that my words were comforting at such a horrible time. I hope that they were.
The point of this story was simply that I am very grateful to this whole online community- and not just the IF community. Sharing your words helps EVERYONE because we all don’t have the same paths in life. If people didn’t open their lives and talk about their feelings on their blogs, I would have been at a loss as to what to say to my friend. Your words about depression, breakups, amazing vacations, workouts, funny stories, frustrations, etc. enrich my life. They make me a better person by seeing situations through your eyes.
THANK YOU.
10 comments:
I am so sorry for your friend's loss. How devastating.
I totally agree with you--being part of this community helps me relate to so many situations.
My guess is you'd be an amazing support to your friend regardless of whether you were well-read on the infertility world or not. That's why she called you and not someone else. That said, the more we know (about anything / everything!), the more we understand what others go through and the more we are able to empathize with them.
Thanks for your comment on my blog! I'm so sorry for your friends loss, I can't imagine the pain she's in but i'm glad she has a great shoulder to cry on (even if its over the phone.) I couldn't agree more with this post. I find myself helping so many people in real life with IF/miscarriages because of things I've learned from the blogs I read. This is an incredible community and I'm so glad to be a part of it, even thought I wish I didn't have to be, KWIM?
I am so sorry to hear about your friends loss. But you are right by reading so many blogs it really does help with understanding how other's may be feeling and with knowing the right/wrong things to say to try and help ease someones pain.
Thanks for the comment on my blog ICLW #18
a great post for ICLW. I don't know how I would be coping with infertility without this community.
How devastating, I can't even imagine! I know blogging has helped me through some of my worst times. Your friend are in my prayers!
I also had the 3 month Lupron shot after my endometriosis surgery - it took about 4-4.5 months for my period to return. Wishing you the best with your upcoming IUI!
Oh no, I am so sorry for your friend.
Here from ICLW - sometimes we hear so much about people who say the *wrong* thing during times of loss or infertility, it's really nice to know that someone can say the *right* thing and be a comfort. I'm glad to hear you were there for her.
My heart goes out to her. It is completely normal. And thank goodness we can all help each other over the great distances by sharing our stories and being able to help each other realize that it is normal. I am sure you were a great comfort to her. Happy ICLW!
MM
I'm so, so sorry for your friend's loss. I can't imagine what that must be like. I can't imagine how hard that would be.
For your friend, here's a blogger who recently loss her baby, Miller, at just over 26 weeks over the summer. Here's her blog: http://www.loveisblonde.com/
Also, for "babylost parents," there's Glow in the Woods: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/
And I agree - the world be such a lonely place without the internets.
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