Waiting waiting waiting

When trying to conceive, EVERYTHING is a waiting game. Waiting for your period to end. Waiting for ovulation. Waiting to see if you get your period.

These past few months have been nothing but a big long waiting game- except it has been much longer than the usual “two week wait.” Once I found out that I had to have surgery, it was then waiting to get the Lupron shot that would shut down my ovaries. From there it was waiting to get a surgery date. Now it’s waiting to see when I will get my period again. In addition, it is waiting until February to start trying again.

By the time next month rolls around, we will have lost HALF A YEAR of trying to conceive because of the fibroid. The waiting has been especially frustrating because we aren’t getting any younger.

But it is really going to be odd when we start trying again because it will have been so long. I feel so removed when I read other bloggers in the midst of charting and patiently (or not so patiently) waiting the requisite two weeks. Do I feel removed because I am not charting? Because I haven’t had my period since the beginning of September? Is it because we have been so busy with Buster it has taken my mind off getting pregnant?

Knowing that we had to wait this long has resulted in less stress. I’m not stressed about wondering if I am pregnant or not. I don’t have to worry about whether I am in the mood at the right time of the month or not. With not trying there is no Googling of possible pregnancy symptoms. There is no check the underwear every time you pee drill. There is no question of whether I should or should not drink alcohol, dye my hair, eat sushi, etc.

But I would rather be back in the game, stressed or not. Crazy behaviors and all.

The waiting continues….