2015 was a doozy

2015. What a doozy of a year.

We started off the year in Barcelona. It was a fun trip and despite some long flights, Izzy did great. While in Spain I started Lupron shots for a February frozen transfer, which unfortunately ended in miscarriage in March. 

Fairly soon after I recovered from the miscarriage, CP fell ill and was out of work for three weeks while doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Turns out he had CMV, which I also contracted as well.

Because of the CMV, infertility treatments were put on hold while the virus made its way out of our systems. Meanwhile in May we flew to Cleveland for a family party and were able to introduce Izzy to more of my extended family, and I also finished a Mudderella after not really training for the race.

The following month we bought a new car (a minivan- something I never thought I would get!) and Izzy finally started saying Mama consistently. It was music to my ears. In July we flew to NH for a long weekend with CP's parents and got to introduce Izzy to more of CP's extended family. After we got back I started Insanity workouts, but stopped after three weeks because I read that you shouldn't do extreme workouts before a treatment cycle. Too bad because it was a tough workout and I was noticing a difference.

In August I was interviewed for the Beat Infertility podcast and we flew out to NH again for CP's grandmother's funeral. We started treatment for IVF fresh cycle #2 but I didn't respond well, the cycle turned into an IUI, resulting in a negative pregnancy test in September.

Halloween went great with Izzy looking adorable in her cow costume, but not really understanding the candy aspect of the holiday. The following month after Day 20 of my cycle I started the flare protocol and was convinced that it didn't work. We had a nice Thanksgiving weekend with my family in MI, also celebrating Izzy's second birthday.

The next Monday I went into my RE's office to figure out what had happened and got the surprise of my life when I found out that CP and I actually got pregnant naturally. I was shocked to spend my birthday pregnant and had a great time with Izzy as CP was traveling. 

Overall, it has been a busy year watching Izzy grow into quite the talkative toddler. It's crazy to think that she started off the year mostly signing and only saying a few words. Work has been fulfilling as I have led a few major events that have really made a difference. CP and I do need to have more one-on-one time but it's hard to justify too much time away from Izzy when we both work.

As far as resolutions and/or hopes for 2016? Well I won't be making a weight loss resolution as I obviously hope to stay pregnant through the next 7 months. I kept my resolution from last year to send paper cards to my friends for their birthdays. I know that a lot of them liked to receive a paper card instead of just getting a message via Facebook so I will continue that. In general I would like to spend less time on Facebook because it really just is a time suck.

Best wishes to all of you in 2016!

First OB appt

This morning I had my first OB appointment of this pregnancy. Unfortunately the woman had to use the dildo cam but the office now has 3D images which is pretty cool. The tech checked my ovaries before checking on the baby.

Everything looks good. Heartbeat was 163, arm and leg buds starting to form, and the baby is measuring about 9 weeks 4 days so right on target. I told the tech that I don't ovulate until Day 16 or 17 so she moved my due date back two days to August 2nd.

Not sure why I can't get this 3D picture to turn, but the baby's head is facing down with the arm and leg buds coming off the body to the right. 

When my doctor came in I asked her about the shortness of breath that I am having after going upstairs and doing certain activities. She said that most of that is progesterone and it should go away soon. I know that I wasn't in running shape prior to this pregnancy but I am not THAT out of shape as to be huffing and puffing after going up stairs!

I also asked if the drugs from the flare protocol would have done any harm to the baby. She said that no, they shouldn't have done any harm because it was between ovulation and implantation AND at that point I am not feeding the baby any blood. 

She asked if I had any breast tenderness and I said that I was surprised to find that I didn't really have much. She said that is normal with second pregnancies- especially after breastfeeding because your breasts are less sensitive. Ahhhh good to know. I wish that I had known that a few weeks ago when I was freaking out because my breasts weren't tender!

Finally, I asked about my risk for miscarriage at this point. My doctor wouldn't give me a percentage, but said that it is very low because the baby is measuring on schedule with a strong heartbeat. My SIL and her family already know (CP told them yesterday), but now that my SIL knows we probably have to tell my MIL and FIL soon because my SIL isn't known for keeping secrets....

I had to give a whole lot of blood and a clean urine sample and then I was on my way. Last time with Izzy we did the first trimester screening (otherwise known as the BUN test which involves an ultrasound), but this time we are electing to do the blood test, which tends to be more accurate and checks the fetal blood mixed in with my blood for specific chromosomal abnormalities. Because I am of "advanced maternal age" insurance would cover the blood test and not just the BUN test. So I head back in two weeks for another doctor appointment and the blood test.

What a great late Christmas present!

Microblog Mondays: Exhaustion

The past few days I have been dead tired. A combination of holiday excitement + getting sick (two days before Christmas Izzy sneezed in my mouth and I caught whatever was going around the 2-year- old room at her daycare) + first trimester pregnancy fatigue + houseguests= complete exhaustion.

How do SAHM take care of their toddlers while pregnant? I try to remind myself that there are women that have been doing this for centuries and that I'm sure compared to most people I have it easy. But wow. If we didn't have houseguests (CP's sister and family) I would be able to take my early afternoon nap and be fine but so far it hasn't happened.

I was actually looking forward to coming to work today because maybe I could nap on the train ride home so that I am not so cranky tonight. Last night was simply bad and I felt like an awful mother. I had Izzy most of the day (everyone went to see Star Wars and then later a brew pub) and didn't get a chance to nap so I was exhausted. It was my night to put Izzy to bed, despite telling CP that I was exhausted, and she just wouldn't behave (knocking things off the bathroom counter, running away from me when I tried to put pajamas on her, etc.). I was not the patient mother I usually can be with her, recognizing that those things are not a big deal and instead snapped at her a few times. When I am that tired I simply can't remember to just take a deep breath. Thankfully Izzy didn't even realize that I was snapping at her, but I need to do better, despite being tired.

I don't remember being this bone tired during my pregnancy with Izzy but I think that the main factor is I could literally sit my butt on the couch and do nothing if I was tired; I didn't have a toddler to run after. Hopefully the fatigue lifts soon as CP is starting to travel again next month and I won't have his help for at least two weeks out of the month.



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Soccer!

This winter CP and I decided that Izzy would need some sort of indoor activity to burn off some energy in case it was too cold to go outside. So far this winter has been very mild, but you never know. After conferring with friends and neighbors, everyone suggested soccer because the kids get to run around a lot. We briefly considered swimming but I hate swimming in the winter time, coming out of the facility with wet hair is never fun. Soccer it is!

Izzy's first day in her new uniform

So far she seems to really enjoy herself. Most of the class is not totally related to soccer as they play red light/green light and use the parachute at the end, but she ends up working on her kicking skills a bunch. She is doing a great job dribbling the ball but needs to learn to not touch the ball with her hands so much. Ha ha.

Practicing kicking skills after building a tower of cones

At this point I'm just happy that Izzy is getting some exercise every week!

Do you have your kid in any classes over the winter?

Trying to keep a secret

Despite having made it through the first and very important ultrasound, I am still wary of celebrating this pregnancy quite yet. I mean, I'm still blown away by the fact that this miracle, magical pregnancy happened to us. I literally thought that we would never have this happen and we would only get pregnant via IVF. 

However, we still have a ways to go until we are out of the first trimester and not being able to go in for an ultrasound until next Tuesday is so tough. Currently only my parents know about the pregnancy, but the I want to keep it a secret for a little while longer....something that may not be possible.

This weekend CP and I were out and about doing Christmas-y things with Izzy when my neighbor texted and asked if she could use our freezer as they needed to flash-freeze dumplings and they ran out of room in their freezer. I told her how to get into our house but didn't think about the fact that my ultrasound pictures were hanging up in the kitchen, hard to miss. She hasn't said anything and hopefully she was too distracted to see them, but the next day I brought over a baby item (she is currently pregnant) that we never used with Izzy and she said, "well, I'll make sure to keep it if you ever need it....." I assume she is not saying anything because she looked at the date of the ultrasound and saw that it was still early....  I have since moved the ultrasound pictures upstairs in a drawer where no one can see them.

This week my parents and my sister and her fiance are coming over for Christmas. The weekend before my birthday we all went out to dinner to a Peruvian restaurant and while everyone else indulged in ceviche and alcohol, I demurred saying that I wasn't feeling well from the night before. My sister and fiance seemed clueless that night, but we skipped their holiday party this past weekend because I have been so exhausted (and knew that it wouldn't be much fun without alcohol)....then if I don't drink again on Christmas maybe her radar will go off? Then again, because she doesn't seem too interested in having kids, she may not notice at all. In general, I don't want her to find out until I am into the second trimester as I'm not even sure she responded at all to the fact that I had a miscarriage this spring (seriously, after telling her the news I don't even think that she said anything).

Finally, CP's sister and her family are flying out for almost a week the day after Christmas. CP is taking next week off to hang out with them, but I checked my vacation time/sick time balances and figured out that if I do give birth in late July I am not going to have enough time saved up for a 3 month maternity leave, so I shouldn't take any time off. I think that they are going to be a bit confused with me going into work while they are here, which means we probably need to tell them what is going on (not to mention that we both will be going to a doctor appointment next week). However, I would love to wait until at least Tuesday AFTER the next ultrasound because I am either going to be happy or crying and I would rather not have them get all excited if this is just going to end in disaster.

So, my plans to keep the pregnancy news a secret for a while longer will likely be ruined later this week. Fingers crossed I won't have to re-tell the same people bad news just a few days later.

Microblog Mondays: Christmas activities

This year with Izzy being a bit older we had a lot of fun doing various Christmas activities with her.

Two weeks ago we met up with friends at the local Botanic Gardens where they have a cool train exhibit. She loved it last year and enjoyed it once again.

While we didn't make a big production about getting a tree (*cough*cough* local nursery), we did have a fun time decorating it. We didn't have a tree last year because we left for Spain on Christmas Day so every time we opened a box of ornaments, Izzy would say "whoa" or "wow." She certainly enjoyed the new moose ornament CP and I got at the Chriskindlemarket downtown this year.

A couple weeks in and I am AMAZED that Izzy isn't pulling on ornaments or the tree and hasn't tried to open any presents yet. When we get home from work/daycare every day she does request that we turn the lights on the tree and has picked up a couple of presents and said "hold it?" I ask her to put it down and then tell her "not yet. We have to wait for Christmas." She then tells herself, "not yet." LOL.

This year was also the first year that Izzy has met Santa. I didn't want to take her out in public too much her first year since she was less than a month old and last year we didn't have time (instead she took a picture with one of the Three Kings while we were in Spain).

She was a little unsure (Mommy why are you putting me on this strange man's lap?), but no tears and a cute picture despite the worried look on her face.

Afterwards Izzy got to write a letter to Santa to put in his mailbox. Since she is only two she wasn't asking for anything specific so we just put down "toys please" and she scribbled on the paper.

Very proud of her letter (and her first hair cut earlier in the day!).

Mailing the letter.

Finally we made Christmas cookies! I used the allrecipes.com sugar cookie recipe and made the dough Saturday night. It cooled in the fridge overnight and yesterday morning we were ready to make the cookies. (Izzy didn't quite understand that we needed to cook the cookies first as she kept saying "eat it?")

I did most of the rolling and Izzy helped me press the molds into the dough. After baking the cookies we let them cool before putting some icing on them. Izzy would press the cookie into a bowl of sprinkles to decorate them. The kitchen got messy but she had a great time!

Cookie decorating by Izzy.

Excited to eat the final product!

Otherwise, since Izzy doesn't get the concept of the Elf on the Shelf quite yet, CP has enjoyed moving the Elf around when we get home and having Izzy find it. We don't exactly follow the rules on touching the Elf....maybe next year.

Speaking of Elf, we watched the movie on Saturday night. I was amazed that Izzy sat through basically the entire movie. She loved it! It's definitely my favorite Christmas movie so I'm excited to watch it with her every year.

Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

Invisibilia

Last night on my train ride home I was listening to the NPR Podcast Invisibilia. I have recently become obsessed with this podcast and I'm sad that it only has 6 episodes. Hopefully season 2 comes out soon as I have one episode left to go.

Anyway, this podcast was about the power of categories. People want and need to be placed in categories- are you a dog person or a cat person? Are you male or female? We are very uncomfortable with people who don't neatly fit into one category or another, and the person that doesn't fit into a category feels uncomfortable as well.

Towards the end of the podcast, the hosts were talking about an Indian retirement community in FL. The founder of the community decided that he didn't want to go back to India to live out the rest of his life because his family was here in the US (amongst other reasons), so he thought that he would create a mini-India retirement community in FL, complete with yoga classes, mediation, palm trees, Indian decor, etc. He started to sell the units right as the recession hit but instead of having issues selling the condos when bigger condos were being sold for less right across the street due to foreclosure, he quickly sold out and had to build more units (which then sold out quickly as well). Turns out that when people fear death or see death coming sooner rather than later, they become racist and want to be with people like themselves.

The host spoke to a psychology professor that has researched what happens when people are facing death. Experiments like asking what happens to you when you are physically dead or asking questions outside a funeral home tend to make people more negative towards other cultures and become more nationalistic. The professor seems to think that it is something about the threat of disappearing. But if you are surrounded by people like you, either in culture, religion, or something else, then you still matter, you are still here.

This is fascinating and most likely why Donald Trump's racist thoughts are resonating with the older white group here in the US. I would argue that all of the Republicans are running on a platform of fear. Fear of terrorism, fear of people taking our jobs, etc. makes his supporters want to surround themselves with people just like them. Thus they all believe that our country needs to ban Muslims and curb immigration from other countries (especially those south of us because they don't look like us either).

This isn't to give an excuse to all of the people supporting these insane proposals, but it does give me some insight into why they might be doing so. I don't have anything to wrap up this post in a neat and tiny bow, but just thought that this was a fascinating podcast that was very relevant to the past few weeks!

Chugging along

Things are chugging along in the NSC household. I worry on a daily basis that something is going to happen to this miraculous pregnancy, but there is nothing I can do about it. My OB can't see me until December 29th so I have almost two more weeks of waiting for another ultrasound. I am being treated like a regular pregnant person and it's sort of killing me. 

My biggest complain right now (TMI alert) is that the Endometrin that I am taking vaginally sometimes leaks onto my pad and somehow makes its way up to my butt. Yes, it does feel as amazing as it sounds. If my progesterone levels are okay on the 29th I'm hoping that my OB allows me to stop taking them (I stopped around 9 weeks with Izzy).

Other than that, I have had more nausea already with this pregnancy than with Izzy. I spent most of the day on Monday feeling sick to my stomach from about 2pm on. And I am already popping Tums once a day as well due to heartburn. Thank goodness I bought two pairs of pants that are a little stretchy recently as I will likely be wearing them quite a bit until I feel comfortable breaking out my maternity clothes again. 

But hey, if these are my biggest complaints right now, I'll take it!

Ultrasound results

I slept horribly last night. I had a dream that I went in for my ultrasound and instead of having it at a hospital, it was in a middle school. The tech never showed up so I had to do the transvaginal ultrasound on myself. I didn't know quite what I was looking at but could see that nothing had changed since last week and thus it was not going to be a viable pregnancy. 

Needless to say, my heart was beating really fast as I sat down to wait to get called back for the ultrasound today and I was very nervous. The tech came to get me and when we got into the room said that I didn't have to take off my shoes. No dildo cam today? Sweet!

Before the tech even said anything, I could see a little flicker on the screen meaning that WE HAVE A HEARTBEAT!! I immediately teared up in relief. It took a few tries but she was able to get a strong heartbeat. I have a cyst on my right ovary, which I guess is normal and my fibroid sits behind my uterus, still small. Technically because of my last period date I am 7 weeks today, but I know that I have never ovulated on Day 14...more like Day 16 or 17 so I am more like 6 weeks, 5 days. The baby is measuring 6 weeks, 4 days but I am not worried because thankfully I have lots of data to back up the fact that I am a late ovulator.

It was a short appointment and as I left the room I thanked the woman for making my day. As I walked out of the hospital I had tears running down my cheeks and as soon as I got in my car, I started crying happy tears. CP is, of course, in a location where he has NO cell phone reception so I texted him and emailed him to call me. He took too long and I couldn't wait to tell someone so I called my mom, who started crying as well. A few minutes later CP called and I was able to give him the good news. 

For now? A due date of July 29th.

I know that I am not out of the water yet- because I am now 37 and of advanced maternal age I still have a miscarriage rate of 16% even after seeing a heartbeat. But I am going to stay positive and call my OB to make my first appointment! Keep growing little one!

Annual Pretty Princess Day

Happy annual pretty princess day to me! (Calling my birthday my Pretty Princess Day as a joke annoyed CP a few years ago so it has now stuck.) Today I am 37 which puts me a year closer to the big 4-0.

It will likely be a boring birthday as CP is out of town yet again (North Carolina- hey it's better than last year when he was in China!). Izzy and I will probably go out to dinner tonight and hopefully I will get the best belated birthday present of all with a good ultrasound tomorrow!

Whatever happens, Izzy made my day this morning by singing me "Happy Birthday." I hope to get another rendition out of her tonight. :-)

So close

I can see the finish line- 9:45am on Friday is the ultrasound. After I wrote this post, I decided to take Cristy's advice (today you are pregnant) and remember my motto throughout all of this. 

“If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it doesn’t happen, you’ve wasted your time. And if you are caught up in the worst case scenario and it does happen, you’ve lived it twice.”

I am doing all that I can do- staying away from unpasteurized cheese, not eating sushi, not drinking, etc. I am trying to remember the first trimester tips my RE gave me from when I was carrying Izzy...although I am not following the one about not carrying heavy things. CP was away on a work trip for part of last week and leaves again tonight for a trip so when I am home alone with Izzy I do have to carry her at times. I try to make Izzy do more by herself, but for instance she can't climb up and into her crib so I do have to pick her up. So far no bleeding so I hope that I am not doing any harm (a quick google search showed that most mothers still pick up their toddlers when they are pregnant). 

I have had a few nose bleeds which I had in my pregnancy with Izzy, just a little later on. Two mornings I have had a bit of nausea when I waited too long between waking and eating something. The constipation hasn't gone away but eating prunes has helped a little bit. I still have a bit of a crampy feeling and have been feeling a bit dizzy when I stand up from a crouching or kneeling position. I also feel like Buster has been following me around and being a bit more needy recently? Maybe he can sense what is going on.

Otherwise, that's it. Today, if I ovulated on Day 16 which would be my norm, I am 6 weeks, 3 days along. Just trying to stay positive as at this point, there is nothing that I can do and I will be finding out more information soon enough.

Microblog Mondays: Flashbacks

The past few days I have been in locations that made me flashback to my two previous pregnancies. On Friday afternoon, I picked Izzy up from daycare early to take her to her 2 year appointment. I realized that one of the last times we were there and with her doctor (15 month appt) is when I got a call from the nurse telling me that my FET pregnancy was not viable. It was not a great memory, but I did have to remind myself that I wouldn't be getting any calls from the nurse while I was in this appointment.

On Saturday night we had a delicious dinner at a Thai restaurant with friends and then went out to Second City. I recognized two women in the cast as cast members that we saw last time we came- which was when I was pregnant early on with Izzy and worried about the SCH. In stark difference to the flashback at the doctor's office, this was a nicer flashback to think about....obviously because it resulted in a successful pregnancy. We didn't tell our friends this weekend that I am pregnant, so it also resulted in a cute eyebrow wiggle from CP when recalling that memory because here we are in early pregnancy once again!



Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

2 Years Old!

I can't believe it- Izzy is now two years old!

Height: 3' 1.5" (99.83%)- WOW was I shocked today at the doctor's office. Izzy is a giant! No wonder she towers over the other kids in daycare!

Weight: 31 lbs (90.88%)

New Tricks: Last month she started to recognize the difference between big things and small things. She doesn't do it consistently, but Izzy can count from 1 to 10 by herself. She can also sing the "ABC song" but hilariously rushes through the "L,M,N,O,P" part.

Sometimes Izzy need to blow off some energy before bed so we tell her to do the maniac. Essentially it is CP and I singing the chorus of "She's a Maniac" from Flashdance while Izzy and I pump our arms and legs furiously. Izzy gets really into it.

Cheese!

Language: Izzy loves pointing at something and saying "That's a (whatever it is- pumpkin, car, dog, etc.)". She is starting to use "mine" instead of "Izzy's car, toy, book, etc." which makes me sad. "Izzy's toy" was so much cuter than "mine." She loves to repeat throw-off phrases that I use like "Let's go kiddo!"

Personality: Starting to have issues with sharing. Still mute around strangers.

Teeth: Two year molars popping through on the bottom. We noticed drooling earlier this month and Izzy having some sleep issues- hopefully the two top ones will come in soon and we will be down with this nonsense!

Favorite Toy: It continues to be her kitchen. Whenever she gets a chance she is "boiling" water or bringing us food on plates.

Giving Buster "dinner"

Favorite Book: This month it varied a lot but she has enjoyed the few hand-me-down Dora the Explorer books that we got from a neighbor. Plus now she likes to say "Hola" and "Vamanos" so I call it a win because she is speaking Spanish? :-)

It has been pretty amazing to watch Izzy go over to her book bins, pick out the book she wants, and say "Mommy read (whatever the book is called)." I know that she is not reading the title and simply has them memorized but I still think it's impressive!

Essential reading hat

Playing around while on a fall walk

Sleeping Habits: This month it was a bit harder to put Izzy to bed. Instead of just sort of crying for a minute after we left the room, this month she started to hysterically cry when we left. Sometimes it was because she needed a tissue (stop crying then!), sometimes she just wanted to rock for a few minutes ("sing sunshine Mommy"). Luckily this didn't last long but Izzy is becoming well-versed in stall tactics ("need tissue Mommy", "use potty Mommy", "need medicine", etc). She loves taking books into her crib with her which she of course can't read because it's too dark in her room. This month she also slept in on the weekend until 7:30 a bunch of times so that was great!

Excited to go play in the snow

Eating: Izzy loved Halloween candy. She got to eat a bite-size Milky Way bar, a bite of a Reeces Pieces, and a lollipop. Then she promptly forgot about her candy.

Izzy's first bite of a chocolate bar

Diapers: Size 5 Seventh Generation during the day, Pampers Baby Dry size 6 at night.

Clothes: almost all 3T clothes. Size 8 toddler shoe. 

Illness: I thought she might have croup early in the month, but it turned out to just be a regular cold. The winter colds are starting!

Other highlights: Izzy's second Halloween.

Mooooo

Certainly not a highlight but this month we had to leave a restaurant due to a tantrum by Izzy. I tried to take her outside to calm her down but it didn't really work so we decided to head home instead. It was a doozy!

Izzy was super excited about our first snow storm of the season. She couldn't wait to get outside to play in the snow.

Good finds

Let's talk about something else, shall we? As the holiday and winter season approaches, I wanted to share some of my good finds recently.

I was in the market for a new colder weather jacket...not to replace my huge North Face jacket, but one that would be a good in between jacket (I had been wearing my ski jacket which worked but I don't want to completely wear it out). I searched online and thought that the LL Bean jacket here would work- and I was right. Lightweight but able to withstand wind and cold it was perfect! It also folds up into itself which is helpful for packing purposes. I bought this one:

Staying with LL Bean (because I love their high quality and the fact that they stand behind their products), I picked up these gloves at the same time and I am obsessed! They are so soft and warm! 

If you are like me, your lips get very chapped in wintertime, even if you put Chapstick on. I loved the Mary Kay lip scrub that I bought years ago from a friend but didn't want to try to find a consultant so I checked out Amazon. Sure enough this scrub came up and It works great!

Although the marketing picture is a little scary....

Recently CP and I have been eating less meat...partly as a way to save money and partly because it is healthier. If you are looking for a good vegetarian cookbook, we have enjoyed cooking from the America's Test Kitchen book:

Need something to binge watch? CP and I blew through "Master of None" the new Netflix show. 

Need a good Podcast to listen to? I highly enjoy either the Beat Infertility podcast, Jesse vs. Cancer, or Limetown. At times Limetown has annoyed me because the characters are overacting but the concept is super cool and it keeps me very entertained.

As always I was NOT asked to review nor paid to post about these items. I just wanted to share my good finds!

Have you found anything good recently?

Making myself crazy

Sometimes I wish that I didn't have a blog and therefore couldn't look up the specifics of my other two pregnancies. I went back in my archives and instead of now feeling good about this pregnancy, I am now worried.

1. Barely any symptoms.
I didn't have a lot of symptoms with Izzy but I at least had sore boobs. This time, other than some constipation and some dizziness/out of breath moments, nothing....just like the miscarriage this spring.

*Counterpoint- every pregnancy is different. Just because I didn't have sore boobs with my miscarriage doesn't mean that I will have another miscarriage because my boobs aren't sore again.

2. Low progesterone.
With Izzy my progesterone was really high- like in the 60s. This spring and on Monday? In the teens. While that is still in the "normal" range, is my body not making enough progesterone because it knows this is not a viable pregnancy again?

*Counterpoint- I was on more progesterone drugs with Izzy. I just started taking Endometrin on Monday night.

*Counter-counterpoint- I was on even more drugs after my frozen transfer. However, with a frozen transfer you have to supplement the progesterone even more because your body isn't making any on its own.

3. Beta number

Not knowing exactly when I ovulated is killing me! I had to ovulate at some point before Day 20 (usually it's around Day 17). But if I ovulated on Day 17 my beta number should be higher than if I ovulated on Day 19. 

*Counterpoint- 1400 could be a good beta number depending on where I started and when I ovulated. Who knows?

See how you can make yourself crazy? I have valid points on each side and yet, unless I start bleeding early, there is no way of knowing what is going on in my uterus and whether this is a viable pregnancy until Dec 11th. AND the bummer is that I can't go see my RE for the ultrasound because my referral ran out. My primary care physician doesn't see the need for her to make the new referral as there is no medical need. So instead I had to make an appointment with the local hospital for an early ultrasound...which I'm sure will be fine but the whole thing has just thrown me off. I did a bunch of calculations this morning and figured that I probably COULD have an earlier ultrasound but next week CP would only be able to make a Friday appointment.

Maybe this just means that next Monday I should take another pregnancy test to see if it moves from 2-3 weeks to 3-4 weeks. That would at least give me a clue...

Thank goodness I have a crazy weekend to look forward to and a crazy work week next week. Hopefully it will keep me distracted from all of these thoughts running through my head.

Izzy's birthday weekend

When your birthday falls near a holiday, the celebration starts early!

Wednesday
CP was out of town until Wednesday night so after I got let out of work early, I picked up Izzy and we ran some errands. One of them was to Party City so that we could get her birthday balloons and a cake topper. While in the store I decided to get her a helium balloon as well and it was hilarious how picky she was. She finally liked one of the balloons and we got it into the car with no problem. However, when we got home the string wasn't tied tightly enough to the balloon and while Izzy and I held the string, the balloon floated up into the sky. Izzy started hysterically crying.

Yes I am the bad mother that took a picture of my daughter crying 

After quickly trying to get some dinner into Izzy (where she mostly cried about the balloon), we headed back to the store to complain. Luckily the same teenager was working and gave us a new balloon for free. Despite saying that she tied it tightly this time, I found that it would have flown away as well had I not been holding onto the balloon. Damn teenagers. Izzy was traumatized from the experience telling CP about her balloon "fly away", "Izzy sad", "other balloon" for 30 minutes after he got home (she also recounted the story to my parents the following day).

Back and home and happy with the second balloon

Thursday
We woke up, packed up the car, and drove out to my parents' place in MI. My mom had already done a lot of prep work on the food for the day so CP helped a bit but mostly we could relax and entertain Izzy.

Entertaining= Izzy outside playing in mud and water

Otherwise we watched some football (ugh the Eagles) and had a delicious Thanksgiving meal.


Friday

Friday was another relaxing day full of outside walks and fun.

Izzy also enjoyed helping Grandma put together an apple pie (we were too stuffed the night before to make it and eat it!).

Saturday

My sister and her fiance arrived Friday late afternoon so the house was a bit smaller with 6 adults, 1 kid, and 3 dogs. We had decided ahead of time to celebrate Izzy's birthday a day early with everyone.

Izzy rocking her "2" tshirt that I ordered earlier in the week. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime!

Izzy's favorite foods for lunch- hot dogs, avocado, and milk.

After lunch we had Izzy open presents before eating some birthday cake.

Izzy's somewhat scary bunny cake. Don't worry, we took off the veggies before slicing into the cake. :-)

Izzy refused to nap that day so she had extra time to play with her new toys.

Playing with a new toy.

Sunday
Sunday was Izzy's actual birthday so I put balloons in her Pack n' Play right after she woke up. While we were at the store on Wednesday Izzy was adamant that she wanted GREEN balloons.

We had a nice breakfast with my parents at a local cafe and then had to quickly pack up the car. The entire weekend Izzy was obsessed with hanging out and playing with Grandma (and to a lesser extent Grandpa). I think that it wore my mom out!

Once home, CP took Izzy to the park while I did laundry, then he came back to quickly pack and unfortunately leave for a work trip. Since Izzy napped in the car, there was no afternoon nap so we went to the grocery store and then I took her to the park again.

Probably her favorite part of the day was jumping on bubble wrap. She found this fun and hilarious.

Izzy and I ended the day with a cupcake (she picked the one with green frosting). 

She got it all over herself so it also became bath day and I allowed her to use the bath crayons that I got a few months back. She thoroughly enjoyed herself.

Izzy really needs a haircut

I can't believe that Izzy is already two years old! Time flies when you are having fun with your amazing kid.