Trying to keep a secret

Despite having made it through the first and very important ultrasound, I am still wary of celebrating this pregnancy quite yet. I mean, I'm still blown away by the fact that this miracle, magical pregnancy happened to us. I literally thought that we would never have this happen and we would only get pregnant via IVF. 

However, we still have a ways to go until we are out of the first trimester and not being able to go in for an ultrasound until next Tuesday is so tough. Currently only my parents know about the pregnancy, but the I want to keep it a secret for a little while longer....something that may not be possible.

This weekend CP and I were out and about doing Christmas-y things with Izzy when my neighbor texted and asked if she could use our freezer as they needed to flash-freeze dumplings and they ran out of room in their freezer. I told her how to get into our house but didn't think about the fact that my ultrasound pictures were hanging up in the kitchen, hard to miss. She hasn't said anything and hopefully she was too distracted to see them, but the next day I brought over a baby item (she is currently pregnant) that we never used with Izzy and she said, "well, I'll make sure to keep it if you ever need it....." I assume she is not saying anything because she looked at the date of the ultrasound and saw that it was still early....  I have since moved the ultrasound pictures upstairs in a drawer where no one can see them.

This week my parents and my sister and her fiance are coming over for Christmas. The weekend before my birthday we all went out to dinner to a Peruvian restaurant and while everyone else indulged in ceviche and alcohol, I demurred saying that I wasn't feeling well from the night before. My sister and fiance seemed clueless that night, but we skipped their holiday party this past weekend because I have been so exhausted (and knew that it wouldn't be much fun without alcohol)....then if I don't drink again on Christmas maybe her radar will go off? Then again, because she doesn't seem too interested in having kids, she may not notice at all. In general, I don't want her to find out until I am into the second trimester as I'm not even sure she responded at all to the fact that I had a miscarriage this spring (seriously, after telling her the news I don't even think that she said anything).

Finally, CP's sister and her family are flying out for almost a week the day after Christmas. CP is taking next week off to hang out with them, but I checked my vacation time/sick time balances and figured out that if I do give birth in late July I am not going to have enough time saved up for a 3 month maternity leave, so I shouldn't take any time off. I think that they are going to be a bit confused with me going into work while they are here, which means we probably need to tell them what is going on (not to mention that we both will be going to a doctor appointment next week). However, I would love to wait until at least Tuesday AFTER the next ultrasound because I am either going to be happy or crying and I would rather not have them get all excited if this is just going to end in disaster.

So, my plans to keep the pregnancy news a secret for a while longer will likely be ruined later this week. Fingers crossed I won't have to re-tell the same people bad news just a few days later.