You suck Biff

(You may not want to be eating when you read this)

I am very sad to report that Harry the Hemorrhoid has a new and unwelcome friend. Since I last talked about Harry, he has been a quiet tenant, really the best kind of hemorrhoid tenant you can have if you are unfortunate enough to get one.  He hasn't tried to make his presence felt for the most part and I was crossing my fingers that he would be the only surprise visitor during this pregnancy.  He really seemed like a loner and quite content to spend his days quietly hanging out to himself  (ha ha hanging).

Unfortunately, there is a new hemorrhoid in town and I have decided to name him Biff.  Biff is quite the bully and the worst tenant imaginable.  He is bigger than Harry and wants to make sure that I know that he has moved in for the long haul.  I fear that Biff may be a partier and may try to get others to crash this pregnancy as well.  :-(

I continue to not push when going to the bathroom.  I continue to not be constipated.  I continue to use the wipes with witch hazel that were helping until this weekend.  I even bought Preparation H cream to put on Biff which seemed to help a little bit, but made me feel like I was leaking something out of my butt (which I actually think is a worse feeling than the leaking from the Crinone).  I have been on numerous websites about what to do for hemorrhoids during pregnancy and the only thing that I haven't tried is a sitz bath, which can be as simple as sitting in your bathtub with warm water- I may try that tonight if I don't start to feel better.  People who go through vaginal births may talk about having to get through the "ring of fire", but I have a ring of fire going on 24/7!  Sometimes it hurts to sit.  I have now started to either hover or only put one cheek on the toilet seat because sitting down while peeing hurts too much.  And for someone that is going to the bathroom every hour while awake, the hovering is working my thigh muscles (which haven't seen a squat for exercise purposes in over 8.5 months)!

All joking aside, this really stinks.  I keep telling myself that some people have it much worse and that I should stop complaining.  That it is a very common pregnancy problem.  But it's just not a comfortable feeling and my ability to just run with whatever is going on in my body is lessening as the days tick on.  I wouldn't say that I am uncomfortable just yet (currently only in the Harry/Biff region), but my uterus has definitely been hurting more than usual these days.  And while I have been sleeping, I randomly woke up an hour before the alarm today and couldn't go back to sleep.  So I'm a bit cranky.

So yeah.....Biff you suck!!

Maternity Leave

It's no secret that the US in general has an awful policy on maternity leave.  Sure you can't lose your job through FMLA, but a lot of places don't have much (if any) benefits for women that want to spend a little time with their baby after birth.  And whadda know....my company is one of those places with no benefits.

So far I haven't complained too much about my company.  I was able to find an insurance policy that covered most of my IVF costs (the most expensive part for us was the drugs).  My insurance has also covered almost 100% of my prenatal care.  I have had no problems getting out of work to attend doctor appointments and it wasn't a problem when I had to leave work to rush to Labor and Delivery because I was bleeding.

However, when it comes to maternity leave, my company makes me sad and frustrated.  Unless I use vacation time and sick time, I will get paid exactly $0 during my maternity leave.  The ironic thing is that because we have been trying for almost three years, I have not been blowing vacation time or sick time so I have lucky saved up a bunch in case I did finally get pregnant.  Chalk up the one good thing about being infertile!

I will be taking the entire months of December, January, and February off to spend time with the baby.  As long as the baby does not decide to join the outside world early, my first day back at work will be Monday, March 3rd. I will basically use up almost all of my sick time and vacation time because we can't afford for me to not get a paycheck.

I have discussed with my boss the possibility of trying to have at least a few half days mixed into the maternity leave where I am working from home, basically just checking emails to make sure that all is well with my projects.  Some mothers that I have talked to think that this sounds crazy.  My own mother thinks that it is totally doable because two weeks after having me, she had a trial (she is a lawyer).  The day took longer than expected and she was breastfeeding so she started to leak through her suit.  But my mom is supermom and I am certainly NOT so I don't know if I will even be coherent enough to do this.  I guess I will just have to assess after about a month or so?

What do you think?  I would like to save at least a little time in case I get sick or the baby gets sick....not to mention that a vacation next year would be nice (if we can afford it of course)....

What what what?

This past weekend CP and I were talking and I mentioned that I would like to take a quick trip involving our alma mater with some of my college friends next November.  I said that I would love for him to come along (since we went to the same college), but if he didn't, he could stay home with the baby.  

He had the oddest response.  "But what if you are pregnant again next November?"

(Record scratches to a halt)  Ummm WHAT?!?

First, we need to get the current baby out of my body safe and sound before worrying about a second one.  

Second, I would like to wait AT LEAST a year before getting pregnant again- I believe that I read somewhere that ideally, you would have 18 months between the time that you deliver via c-section and getting pregnant again.  

Third, umm remember that it took us almost THREE YEARS to get pregnant.  Are you thinking that we are suddenly going to get pregnant by actually having sex (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA)???  Alternatively, that's a lot of confidence that you have in our ONE frozen embryo and the frozen embryo transfer that we will have to go through.

Look, I get that CP is a few years older than me (he turned 37 in June, I turn 35 in December).  If he has the male equivalent of a biological clock, it is ticking.  I understand wanting to jump on the bandwagon sooner rather than later in completing our family.  I also understand that if the one frozen embryo doesn't thaw and/or doesn't implant, then I will have to go through another fresh IVF cycle when my eggs are no longer 34 years old.  I will be of advanced maternal age.  BUT I want to make sure that I do it safely and that we are ready.  We don't even know how we are going to react to having one child- let's see how that goes before trying to knock me up again!

It's truly amazing the things that will come out of the mouths of the male species.

Names

With a surprise baby, the whole "what should we name the baby" is made twice as hard because you have to think of TWO perfect names, not just one.  CP wanted to start the process fairly early so he signed up for an account on babynames.com.  He decided to take the boys names and I would take the girls names.  We started with a few rules:

1. No names that start with a C or a K.  Our names start with C and K, then add Koda into the mix...well, that is why we stayed away from a C or K name for Buster.  We don't need to add to the confusion by naming our kid something that starts with either of those letters (although there are a number of names that start with those letters that I love).

2. No names that start with the same letter as the first letter of our last name.  We are not interested in alliteration.

3. No crazy spelling names (like Michael with a Z) and no crazy names in general (like Apple, Pilot Inspektor).

4. No names in the top 10 of the most popular baby names on the Social Security website.

5. No names of relatives, good friends, or their kids.

6. While not a bright line rule, we wanted a name that had a formal name and a nickname.

As you can see, we had a lot of "no" rules that immediately removed a large number of names.  Not to mention that our friends and relatives have a lot of kids so a lot of names that we really liked were already taken.

After the first run at names, we each had about 30 names on our respective lists.  We used long car drives to go over the lists and took out names that the other person hated.  CP had a couple of Simpsons characters on his list (Montgomery, Homer, etc.) which I of course nixed.  I think that he was half kidding, but there is no way I am naming my kid after a tv show (he was also pushing for Archer).  (eye roll)

I thought that my task for the girl names was a bit harder because you definitely don't want to name your daughter any kind of stripper name (I'm looking at you Destiny and Harmony!).  I know that it is quite the rage right now, but naming our daughter Addison, Madison, or something similar would have been cool, but doesn't work with our last name (CP also hated them).  I also didn't want to share a name with the daughter of a Teen Mom (aka Sophia, Nevaeh) or have anyone think that we named our kid after Twilight (Isabella).

It has now been five months of us working on the name list and our boy name is set....well, at least the first name.  It meets all of the criteria above and is consistently in the 100s in terms of popularity.  And of course, we love it.  Middle names are hard and we don't necessarily want to use a family name so we are still working on it.  

We thought we had our girl name, but I started having second thoughts about it a few weeks ago.  We may be changing on mind on rule #4 for the girl.  CP read that even if the name is in the top 10 of most popular names it is still less than 1% of the population.  Not to mention that my name was super popular growing up- in my middle school class of 50 there were 4 of us with the same name!  Having the same name as others didn't affect me in any way so our kid will survive if they have classmates with the same name.  This is still a work in progress.....

Did you or will you have any naming rules for your kid?

Nursery renovation

I didn't think that the renovation of our third and smallest bedroom, otherwise known as the nursery, would take a while.  But with CP's pneumonia and my lack of knowledge on anything having to do with plaster, it took longer than expected.

Here is what we started with:  the smallest room in the house (outside of the bathrooms of course) with an Aztec-looking DARK wallpaper and trim in dark green.  WTF.

I simply don't understand the decorating choices.

So I got to work steaming the wallpaper off the walls.  Good times.  Then CP fixed the plaster in the room. Then we started priming.  We had a problem figuring out what color to paint the room until CP found a picture on Benjamin Moore's website with these exact colors and the same layout.

A bright red ceiling.....

Yellow walls....

And polka dots in red, blue, and green made to look like balloons.  Here is one side of the room after we put together the glider (which by the way is amazingly comfortable).  (Dresser is to the left of this picture.)

Here is the other side of the room once we put together the crib.

So I'm not in love with the painting that we did in the room.  Yes, it's bright and cheery but we picked a safari theme for the bedding, blanket, etc. and while the colors match I almost think that we have two different competing themes.

But oh well, the baby is not going to care either way.  At least the room looks 10 million times better than when we started!!

Surprises

Now that I am 34 weeks, I am quite surprised about a number of things.

*I still have an innie.  My belly button has been working on getting outie status for a long time now- recently four marks from my fibroid surgery popped up on the sides (generally I can't see them because they are inside the hole)- so I think its status may change soon.

*I can still shave my legs.  I have a friend that is two months behind me that is having problems shaving her legs, so I'm surprised.  Of course shaving does require a bit of maneuvering around the belly, but it's not too bad (and I'm NOT flexible).

*I have yet to see anything leaking from my boobs.  I asked the doctor about it at my last appointment and she said that it is okay that I haven't leaked anything yet.  

*My urge to pee increases if I stand up and/or walk.  I'll be sitting down with no urge to pee but as soon as I stand up it actually hurts and suddenly I MUST USE THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW.

*My engagement ring lasted until this weekend on my finger.  I'm hoping that I can put it back on, but considering that my hands are swollen and it's only 45 degrees out today?  Not likely.

*Due to my fair skin I think that I am not going to get a linea nigra if I haven't gotten it by now, but around 30 weeks I did have some stretch marks pop up on the bottom of my belly.  My mom had them as well when she was pregnant and said that hers went away so fingers crossed I get her genetics!  Then again, if they decide to stick around, I won't be too sad- between a C-section scar and the fact that I wasn't rocking two pieces prior to pregnancy, I can't imagine I'll be wearing anything belly-baring post-pregnancy anyway.

*This weekend family and friends were trying to guess at the gender.  My dad guessed boy because "I haven't complained much about my pregnancy."  Ummm okay.  Yes, I have had a relatively easy pregnancy, but I also may not be complaining because it took me almost three years just to get pregnant!  It's hard to complain when you finally get your wish.....

*The past two nights CP has been in major nesting mode (isn't that supposed to be my thing?).  He put together the exersaucer, the high chair, the mama roo, and some other small items.  He wanted to get things in their place before the baby came even though we won't be using some of these things for months.  It's really weird to see a high chair at the dining room table!!  Meanwhile I washed, organized, and put away all of the baby's clothes and I'm pretty sure that the baby has more clothes than me.  I know that they grow out of them quickly, but wow!  We have yet to buy a single piece of clothing for the baby- but I'm guessing we may have to buy some newborn items?  We currently only have 6 onesies and which potentially means a lot of laundry.

*In the 8.5 months that I have been pregnant, I still haven't learned that I can't rest boxes or other things that I am carrying against my belly.  I keep thinking that the belly will act like my regular stomach, but when I am carrying something, my belly doesn't like to be touched.  Weird.

What are you surprised about?

Master bedroom renovation

I should have posted this months ago, but somehow I forgot to upload the pictures.  I don't have great before pictures, but our master bedroom thankfully didn't need as much work as some of our other previous rooms.

I mean, the green/blue walls and the dark turquoise trim paint was certainly interesting....

CP also had to do a bunch of repairs of the plaster....mainly on the ceiling.  

Because I was going through IVF/newly pregnant while this renovation was going on, I stayed out of the room and away from painting anything.  It was kind of nice.  :-)  (And yes, I realize that it took me almost my entire pregnancy to post about this.)

We ended up going with a creamy ceiling, beige walls and using a stencil for the wall behind our bed.

The room cleaned up....

Later this week I have a post on the renovation of the nursery!

Non sequitur post

I'm not sure if the phrase "exactly 6 weeks until the C-section!" is similar to a magical kick in the butt, but uttering it on Friday seemed to spur something in CP.  Our weekend was mainly filled with friends and family as it was my mom's birthday on Friday (we had a delicious dinner in Chicago to celebrate) and then my second baby shower on Saturday.  I didn't get to bed until after midnight both nights so I was dragging on Sunday- even after going out for a delicious dim sum brunch in Chicago's Chinatown.  But as soon as I got back to the house from dropping my friend who flew out for the shower at the airport, CP was in baby mode.  He first wanted to head to Buy Buy Baby to get the rest of the essential items on our registry.  A ridiculous amount of money later (THANK GOODNESS FOR BABY SHOWERS), we dragged our new purchases back to the house and started to put things together.

Actually, I first voiced my uneasiness over putting all of the baby stuff together when we don't have a baby in our arms yet, but CP poo-poo'ed my worries.  I still feel a bit uneasy that we have things other than just the crib and the glider put together, but since we have the time now, I guess it makes sense.  Plus it removes a large number of boxes from our living room and we can start to figure out where things are going to fit in the house.  Koda and Buster were both very interested in all of the new purchases and seemed kind of bummed that they were not new dog toys.  CP and I were joking that this kid better not be allergic to dogs because there is no way we could keep the dog hair off of...well....everything in the house!

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On a completely different topic, when people tell you that pregnant women are like furnaces, it is seriously not a joke.  The past couple of days have been a bit cooler here in the Chicago area and with our windows closed, the house has been staying at a pretty consistent 61 or 62 degrees, even if the temperature outside is only 42.  I am perfectly happy with this temperature, but Sunday morning CP came downstairs and noticed that we could actually see our breath while we were in the sunroom.  The sunroom has always been a bit cooler than the rest of the house- it was an addition to the original house and we are guessing that it is not well insulated.....and it doesn't have a basement beneath it.  So the fact that the thermostat in the dining room said that the house was 61 degrees didn't mean that the sunroom was that temperature.  Normally (aka pre-pregnancy) I would be FREEZING and surreptitiously adding a few degrees to the thermostat, but I have rejoicing in the cooler house temperature.  However, tonight is supposed to get down to 33 and I think that we may finally need to turn the heat on.....boo.

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Hmm this may be the start of a number of disjointed and non sequitur posts if I don't go to bed earlier....

How I kept busy

While I did manage to sneak in afternoon naps (which were fantastic by the way), I also got a lot done around the house in the past 2.5 weeks.

I was happy to spend more time with the dogs which included moments like this with Buster laying his head on my belly (unfortunately the baby didn't kick until after he moved)....

I did lots of laundry- including all of the baby clothes/sheets/etc that we have received so far!

I had to empty out all of our hard work from the freezer that broke.  CP and I ended up buying another freezer over Columbus Day weekend that has an alarm that sounds if it gets too hot.  Sadly though, we have not had any time to stock it full of food just yet....

RIP delicious and healthy food

I signed our baby up for daycare and started looking for a pediatrician (no luck yet).

One day I decided that I was going to craft.  So I made a fall wreath for our front door!

I wrote all of my thank you notes from my first shower.

I don't think that I have showed you guys the evolution of our front stoop, but here is what it looked like last fall (nice photobomb Buster)....

This was after the landscapers took out the overgrown bushes and we had a new screen door installed....

And now what it looks like after the new siding, new planting done by my parents, and yes, the red door that I painted last weekend!

I painted more trim and doors throughout the house (mainly upstairs)- don't worry it was no/low VOC paint.

I oiled our outside wood table.

I took Buster for a whole lot of long walks.  Koda was also walked, but it was mostly around the block.

While I did my best to try to not spend money since you know, I wasn't getting paid, I did notice that Coreopsis, a perennial that I have been wanting to plant in the back yard because rabbits don't like it, happened to be on major sale. So I bought 20 plants and planted them...along with 42 daffodils and 42 tulips.

I cleaned the house- a couple of times.

I baked a fresh apple cake with a cinnamon glaze- which by the way was DELICIOUS!!!  Note: if you make this the directions are missing when to add sugar and oil and I also needed to add 1/2 cup of milk.

I picked all of the green tomatoes in our garden and started to make green tomato chutney.

Oh yeah, and I watched a bunch of CNN hoping that the shutdown would end faster than it did.  I still have a long list of things to do but now they are going to get done after work or on the weekend!

Growing baby

So I'm not dead.  These past two and a half weeks have been stressful, but I have tried to stay productive and use my furlough days to get stuff done.  I'll try to tell you all about it tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I am up to bi-weekly OB appointments and things are going well.  In fact, the appointments are kind of boring, but I would much rather boring than the alternative.....

Today's appointment I had a growth ultrasound which will likely be the last time I see the baby before delivery.  The baby has moved since the last ultrasound (at 29 weeks)- it is now head down.  Everything is measuring right on track- femur length, amniotic fluid, belly and head size, etc. and all major organs looked good.  At 29 weeks the baby was estimated to be 3 pounds, 2 oz.....the estimated weight today jumped to 5 pounds, 9 oz!!  The baby is now in the 72nd percentile for estimated weight.  I was hoping to have a smaller baby, but it doesn't look like that will be the case come November 29th.  Honestly, just as long as he/she is healthy I don't care as no matter the size- he/she will be entering the world through a C-section anyway!

Tonight is also our first hospital class- the first of two Taking Care of Newborns classes.  This week we will learn all about bathing, diaper-changing, cord care, circumcision care, temperature-taking and signs of illness.  I hope it's informative!!

Anniversary

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary (fun fact: we share the same wedding date as the Obamas!). Unfortunately CP had a work trip so he was out of state. I was busy most of the day doing stuff, but this shutdown crap has made me realize that I could never be a stay-at-home wife (especially without kids). I'm sure that I would meet other women that didn't work but it is simply not enough for me.

This year will be a very boring anniversary year. The whole not getting paid thing puts a damper on wanting to spend money on gifts and a fancy dinner, so we are headed out to a nice, but not too expensive restaurant tomorrow night to celebrate. And no gifts. Or maybe the new freezer that we have to buy will be the gift to ourselves. *groan*

Yesterday I also had a doctor's appointment. At this point in my pregnancy I am now going every two weeks. I was listening to an NPR story about the shutdown on my way over to the appointment which made my blood boil so I was certain that my blood pressure would be high. Amazingly enough, it was normal. My belly growth is also normal and the baby's heartbeat sounded good. I did lose a pound in the last two weeks (why can't it be this easy when I am not pregnant? I'm not even trying to lose weight?!?) which the doctor said wasn't a big deal. But she did say to try not to stress too much about my job- this may be a good time to take some extra naps and relax.

But it is hard for me to relax when I know that I have this extra time to get stuff done around the house. Call it nesting, but if I lay around sleeping and watching tv all day I wouldn't feel very good about myself or very accomplished. This is a definite change from a few years ago. Maybe I am finally an adult......

First shower then arrrrrggghhhh

This past weekend was my shower in CT. I flew out Friday afternoon while CP flew from CA to IL (his flight to CT was Saturday morning).  Friday night my friend had a party and I got to see a number of people I haven't seen in a year which was nice. Saturday night was the coed shower and it basically featured alcohol for everyone but me and delicious food. The ladies gathered in the living room to open presents and I was amazed at some of the stuff we got. It definitely makes it more real now that we have actual clothes and baby items in our house!

Funny story- people were still hanging out around the fire pit at midnight. I thought I may want to go to bed soon but because CP hadn't seen the guys in a year and didn't drink the night before, he leaned over to me (clearly intoxicated) and said, "can I stay with (his friend) tonight? I know we haven't seen each other in two weeks but we have the rest of our lives." Ha ha. I figured all we were going to do was go to sleep at our friend's house anyway.....and that CP would snore all night from the alcohol....so I told him it was okay. I woke up the next morning to a text from CP at 1:49am saying, "Sorry I wasn't more supportive tonight I love you." Awwww. I'm guessing spell checker came into play for the text.... :-)

Being back in CT made me miss not only our friends there, but also the town. We had a great time in our two years there and it was a fantastic community. I would have loved to raise a kid there. We have been busy renovated our house here in Chicago so we haven't been able to go out and find new friends....hopefully that changes once we have the baby.

We came back to a surprise from my parents. Not only were they nice enough to watch the dogs for the weekend, but they decided to spruce up our front garden again! They moved the begonias they had planted to the back, transplanted part of two huge hostas in the back, and planted mums in the front! My iPad doesn't want to put the pictures in so you will just have to trust me. My parents still rock.

However, my week has gone downhill from there. My job is affected by the government shutdown and I'm furious, unnerved, and feeling out of control. I really should blog about it but it would be a complete rant and I have been ranting the past two days to everyone I talk to as it is. I have nothing new to add other than I hope that Congress (mainly the House Republicans) get it the f*ck together and get the government up and running again. Sadly, I don't see it happening soon because of the Tea Party minority. Ugh.

In addition, CP went downstairs last night and opened our extra freezer to see how much room we had in there since we have been making and freezer a bunch of meals for post-baby with fresh veggies from our garden. Turns out the freezer conked out at some point and EVERYTHING was defrosted. The Swiss chard quiche, the moussaka, tomato sauce, the beef broth, the frozen blueberries, the raspberry preserves, the pesto, etc. ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CP and I wanted to cry.  All of our hard work and effort for naught. I was very bitter as I was throwing out all of the food today. VERY bitter. And what with the shutdown, we don't exactly have the money to go out and buy a new freezer to start stockpiling food again.

At least CP will be back from his work trip on Friday night and he won't be gone for two weeks again.....