Third beta and first ER visit

I definitely have pregnancy hormones coursing through my body. I seem to cry at everything- short videos on Facebook, finding out the dog on Downton Abbey has cancer, etc. Thank goodness CP has been out of town the past few nights for work...I don't have to try to explain why I am crying to anyone (other than Buster). :-)

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Today, my third beta came back at 249. In order to completely double it should have been 264 (CP gave me the wrong number on Weds- it was 132 not 135). My doctor's office doesn't seem worried so I won't be as well. My progesterone was up to 24 so that's good news as I am no longer at the minimum. My first ultrasound will be next Friday. My doctor wants to check out the placement of the embryo. 

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Two nights ago I made my first trip to the ER. Izzy's lips had turned blue and her cheeks purple twice in one night so after calling the doctor's office and being advised by the nurse to go to the ER, I packed Izzy up and drove on snowy, slick roads to the ER. Izzy spiked a fever while we were there and I learned that ER rooms are not for curious toddlers that want to play/touch with everything in the room. She was somewhat interested in the free movie that I found on the tv- The Nut Job- an animated movie with squirrels and a dog- and refused to sleep. 

Curious Izzy

We ultimately spent almost four hours there without figuring out what happened or what was wrong. We finally got home and in our beds around 11:30. I realized that I didn't eat dinner so I ate a granola bar before going to sleep. In my follow up appointment the next day with Izzy's pediatrician she said that if it happens again, check her tongue. If her tongue is pink, she is fine. If it is discolored, take her to the ER.

Hoping that it will be a while before another ER visit!

Second beta results

I won't keep you in suspense- my beta level was 135 this morning- a bit higher than the 110 it needed to be. What a relief! Also, my progesterone number is up to 15 which was the minimum that my RE wanted to see. Perhaps it will rise a bit on Friday (my RE wants me to go back for bloodwork again) once I have taken Prometrium for a few more days?

One hurdle down...so many more to go....

Welcome ICLW readers!

I haven't done ICLW in a very long time but decided to sign up this month on a whim. 

For those that are new to this space, I am Non Sequitur Chica (NSC for short). The rest of the crew is made up of my husband, CP, my 15 month old daughter, Izzy, and our Bernese Mountain Dog, Buster. After three years of TTC- which included surgery for fibroids/endo, 3 IUIs, and then IVF- our daughter was born. My husband and I are a bit older so we decided to try for #2 sooner rather than later so we did a frozen transfer of the one frozen embryo on February 12th and I found out that I was pregnant on Sunday!

My beta yesterday came back at 55 which made me a bit nervous, but I decided to take another pregnancy test this morning to see if the line was getting darker.

Sunday test

Tues test

It's hard to tell if the line is much darker in the second test, but I took the pictures in two different bathrooms so the lighting might be off?

The two tests together

Clearly in this picture the Tuesday test is darker but this picture was taken more than 10 minutes after I took the test so I don't know if the line is valid or not.

I was hoping that taking this test would make me feel a little better, but there is nothing that I can do so I am going to try not to worry about it. With my HCG at 55 we are just hoping for at least 110 tomorrow morning...and that is not a lot so the line would likely not look too different. I just keep remembering the dark lines from when I was pregnant with Izzy (when my HCG was over 200 on my first beta) and can't expect that with this smaller beta number.

Today, I am pregnant. Tomorrow, I hope for good news.

Microblog Mondays

Today I feel like I am walking around with a delicious secret that no one knows about except me, CP, and my parents (and soon, my RE). It's a great feeling and I hope that my positive thoughts continue as the first trimester can be so tough. My first hurdle of course? The results of my beta test this morning, which I should get sometime this afternoon. I'm crossing my fingers that I get a good number so that I can breathe my second sigh of relief! I decided not to test today to see if the line was getting darker but now I am sort of kicking myself as I sit here at work....



Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.


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Wow that was fast. I already got a call from my RE with the bloodwork results. My beta number was 55. Over 25 is pregnant, but they like to see over 100. The nurse did say that frozen transfers can implant later and if it implanted even a day after predicted that that would be a totally normal number. So I am trying not to freak out about this (my beta with Izzy was over 200). The other problem is my progesterone level is really low, so I will be starting another medicine, Prometrium, tonight to try to boost my levels. The nurse warned me that I could feel dizzy up to 12 hours after taking Prometrium so I should go to bed soon after taking the medicine. Not quite an ideal situation when CP leaves later this week for a work trip and I'm the only one home with Izzy.

I'm now trying to stay positive...a feeling I just had not 10 minutes ago....but now I'm worried.

My morning started with this

This morning I woke up to this:

OMG. My frozen transfer worked! I'm a little worried that the line is too faint for 10 days past a 5 day frozen transfer, but I will know more from my beta tomorrow.

CP and I are definitely still in shock that I have gotten pregnant after both transfers. I haven't been feeling any different- maybe a little cramping but I attributed that to the Crinone. Even my boobs feel normal (albeit fuller).

Stick with me little embryo!

Officially PUPO!! (again)

Yesterday we transferred our one frozen embryo. Our clinic does all of the fresh transfers first so we didn't have to be at the clinic until 11am. We slept in until 7, played with Izzy a little bit before taking her to daycare, and then I took a long walk with Buster while CP worked a bit from home.

I once again had some nervous energy on the drive to the clinic and it ramped up a bit when we got into our room. I think that although he didn't admit it, CP was a bit nervous as well because he was making silly jokes.

Here is the embryo that has about a 50/50 shot of implanting in my body:

 I was a little worried because it looks different from the previous embryo (aka Izzy), but the doctor said that it is because it was previously frozen.

And after the transfer, here is where it ended up (see the arrow in the middle?) in my uterus:

I'm ordering you stay put!!

The Valium didn't seem to work until after the transfer which was sort of annoying. CP and I decided to go out to lunch before heading home so we got some decadent burgers before stopping into Carter's to get Izzy some new clothes in the next size up (they were having a sale and the store was right next to where we parked). Right before we paid I started to get a little woozy so we hightailed it back to the car where I passed out for the ride home. Once we got back I headed upstairs and passed out again for another two hours.

And now I try to stay busy until the 23rd (beta got moved up a day). Technically I could have gotten my beta on the 22nd but it's a Sunday so we have to wait until Monday. I am working on CP to let me test on Sunday.....

Microblog Mondays

For Thursday's frozen transfer (!), I am torn between telling the same people as I told last time about the transfer or keeping the information secret. It's weird how I'm having an internal struggle with myself.

This past weekend we were out with friends. They knew everything about my first IVF cycle and were the first to know of our friends that it had worked. While we were at lunch the wife turned to me and asked if anything was going on with a second baby. I discreetly answered that I had just undergone some testing but left it at that. True, but I could have gone into much more detail. At that point one of the kids interrupted us and needed attention so the conversation moved on.

Instead of everyone knowing our business- dates, shots, etc. am I trying to stay vague. It's crazy that the date of the transfer has been pinned down for a little bit now- but yet the only person that knows that date other than me and CP are my parents as my mom is my backup to drive me home if CP is called away for work (not likely at this point).

Maybe I will change my mind about being so open about the transfer after it happens, but for now I am sort of digging just being vague.

Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

Treatment Update

Everything is looking good in my uterus for the frozen transfer. On Friday I had an ultrasound and my lining is nice and thick at a 12 (mm?). I asked about feeling very crampy and my nurse said that is normal because my lining is really thick- basically as thick as it would be right before I would shed it through a period. My only problem was that my Estrogen level was too low for my doctor's liking (65 when she wants to see a level between 100-150). So I now get to shove a little blue pill called Estradiol twice a day up my va-jay-jay. I'm looking forward to the Estradiol-Crinone Smurf-colored leakage that will start later this week.

I am almost done with my daily Lupron shots which makes me happy. Today I upped my dosage of three Minivelle patches so I'm hoping that I won't get a headache from the increased hormones. Thankfully the headache went away after two days, but I start to put on four patches every two days starting on Thursday.

Speaking of Thursday- I have my next ultrasound and bloodwork that day. Hopefully the Estradiol is doing its job and everything continues to look good. Also on Thursday the lab starts to thaw the embryo that day! Three embryologists will check it every day to make sure it is doing okay. Fingers crossed that it thaws correctly since it is our only frozen embryo!!

Thoughts on treatments

Around 1am on the 31st I sat in our hotel bathroom in Barcelona looking at the Lupron bottle, the small needles, and the alcohol swabs. Did I really want to put this in my body again? Could we really handle two kids? How would we afford it? More importantly could I handle two kids as a working mother when CP is traveling? 

The answer is who the heck knows. As much as I knew while going through treatments last time that I wanted a baby, I was terrified of what it might actually mean and just how much it would change my life. At times I was worried that it was more about me getting pregnant than actually having a child. Thankfully as soon as Izzy was here my fears were for naught and I loved being a mother. 

Now that I know how awesome it is to have a kid, I am not so scared that trying to get pregnant again is all about the pregnancy. However, I have been told by many, many people that just because you had an easy first kid, doesn't mean that you will have an easy second kid. Yesterday, the toddler room teacher at Izzy's daycare said that Izzy did a fantastic job over in her room. She said that it may be the easiest transition she has ever seen. I certainly can't expect another easy-going baby but boy is it going to be a shock if we don't have one!!

With two weeks to go before the transfer, I am excited about the prospect of getting pregnant and having another kid. I am terrified of something going wrong if I am able to get pregnant. I am also terrified if it doesn't work. I know that I have it better than most other infertiles because insurance pays for a lot of my treatment- but we only get two fresh cycles if this frozen cycle doesn't work. My body didn't respond last time with lots of follicles, so if I had to go through a fresh cycle again, I can't imagine that would change. If we go through our fresh cycles (and any corresponding frozen cycles) without a second child, do we stop then? 

It's times when my mind starts to wander into these questions that I start to remind myself of my motto from last time (also underneath the picture on my blog). If I start to go down the rabbit hole of "what if" scenarios then I will just make myself miserable. Let's take it just one day at a time. Currently I am on my medications and the frozen transfer is on. There is nothing else that I can be doing right now to ensure that this transfer works.

Maybe it's time to break out the Circle & Bloom IVF meditation series....they helped me a lot last time.

Microblog Mondays

A bunch of jumbled thoughts today for Microblog Mondays...

*CP is finally home after three weeks in Thailand. Yesterday was his second full day at our house in 2015. Ridiculous. We are very happy that he is home even though he is jetlagged and cranky.

*Chicago only got two inches of snow yesterday. I was hoping for a bit more, but am not jealous of the storm that is brewing on the East Coast. Stay safe out there!

Izzy's first sled ride. She loved it!

Tentative walking in the snow

Buster's favorite- SNOW!

*On Saturday I dropped my Lupron dosage to 5 units and started on the Minivelle patches (two). I know that I had a low-grade headache with the Lupron but the patches kicked that low-grade headache into high gear. Much of Saturday and almost all of Sunday was spent with a ridiculous headache. I didn't want to take anything but may have to resort to some Tylenol if it comes back while I am at work. I had to put on two new patches this morning so I am just waiting for the pain to come back....and worry about the days when I have four patches on me!! Has anyone else had dreadful headaches from the patches?

*Transfer is scheduled for Thursday, February 12th!!

*A coupe of you asked what I do for a job after my Day in the Life post....since this is a semi-anonymous blog I can't tell you but about 75% of my job is related to helping the homeless.



Want to participate and/or read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

It's on!

Wednesday's ultrasound revealed no more fluid in my uterus but my lining was still too thick. After talking with the nurse that afternoon, she said that if my lining was not down to a more acceptable level (around 6) by Friday, that this cycle would be cancelled, I would stop all meds, we would induce a period and start all over again.

I really didn't want that to happen because although Lupron is not the most expensive drug (the one vial I have been using was $140), I didn't particularly want to waste $140 and all of the fun that comes with taking Lupron for over 20 days (headaches, weight gain, etc).

The good news is that I went in for an ultrasound this morning and although I did have some fluid near my c-section scar, I guess that is acceptable. I'm not sure how, but my lining is down to a 6! The nurse will email me my new schedule this afternoon and we will work on a transfer date. Feeling good going into the weekend!

More delays

I'm beginning to think this frozen transfer won't happen for a while. On Friday I went in for a quick ultrasound and unfortunately, my lining didn't shed as much as my doctor wanted so I was back in the office yesterday for another check. I'm not sure what's going on as Lupron is supposed to help shed lining, not retain it.

Yesterday my lining was still too thick, but in addition I have fluid in my uterus and possibly a polyp near my c-section scar. Fan-f'ing-tastic. I also have gained 5 pounds, have a low-lying headache at all times, and got a nosebleed (the last one may just be due to the weather- who knows).

The new plan? Head in tomorrow for yet another ultrasound. If there is no fluid and the lining looks good then I will be starting my medications. If there is still fluid then it looks like I have a date with the doctor on Friday where she will aspirate the fluid out with a fun needle in my vagina. Awesome. I guess the fluid is an embryo killer so as long as it is hanging out in my uterus, I won't be transferring anything.

Let's get with the plan ute!

Crazy hormones

As expected by my bloodwork and ultrasound last week, my period came this week.  I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound on Weds and everything looks good and calm hormone-wise. My doctor wants to make sure that my lining isn't too thick before we start the meds so I had another appointment this morning. Hopefully it looks good and this afternoon I get my revised schedule. Hopefully I will start meds this weekend with a possible transfer date of Feb 10th.

To be honest, I was flying high earlier this month, completely convinced that nothing was going to go wrong and that the frozen transfer would work. I had a relatively easy time with my last transfer and pregnancy so my body is fixed, right? (Fixed in the sense that medical intervention is still necessary, but it would always work.) When my body didn't follow the plan, I started to doubt the success of the transfer. I now vacillate between thinking "Of course it is going to work! Your fresh cycle worked on the first try- why wouldn't this one?" And thinking "Why am I being so naive? I know that there are so many variables to getting and staying pregnant. Why do you think you are going to go 2 for 2?" So that's my fun mental state. 

In other news, I'm not handling CP's 3 week trip to Thailand very well with all of the Lupron and PMS hormones racing through my body. Last Saturday I went to the baby shower and there, one of CP's coworkers mentioned that CP had volunteered to take on a lot of the work on this Thailand trip which is why he has been gone so much.* So with that in my head, yesterday I was convinced that he is taking all of these business trips to get away from me and our marriage and that I should ask him if he is happy in our marriage before we have a second child. Yes, a totally insane thought that I have so far kept to myself. 

And then of course there is the ever-present thought that he has no idea how difficult it is when he is gone and that he doesn't appreciate all that I do. With the 13 hour time difference we basically get to talk for 10 minutes a day (some days not at all) and then I don't hear from him the rest of the day. Last night I told him that not hearing from him, even if it's just a check in email or to tell me a funny story about something that happened to him during the day, made me sad. That didn't go over too well even though I acknowledged that some of my sadness was likely due to hormones. 

Being lonely and sad, with a bunch of hormones coursing through your veins, lack of emotional support from your husband, and tons of stress from work is not a recipe for a happy NSC.

*I won't bore you with other details but in the end, I don't think that CP volunteered to travel this much.

Delay

I should have known that things were going too well- I am dealing with infertility of course. 

On Wednesday I had an ultrasound and blood draw to make sure that all was quiet in my uterus and with my hormones. Much of my day after the appointment was spent on the phone trying to figure out how to get my meds to me in time to start on Friday. My insurance company's pharmacy has been a bear to work with as once they get things squared away with my doctor (aka asking lots of questions becuase they don't deal with a lot of infertility patients) it still takes them 7-10 days to prepare and ship the drugs. I don't have that kind of time to wait....or so I thought.

My ultrasound showed that despite being on birth control AND Lupron, I still ovulated on my left ovary. *sigh* I don't want this 36 yr old egg when I have a frozen 34 yr old one just waiting to be transferred! My progesterone and estrogen levels were also too high and my doctor believes that I will get my period in 1-2 weeks.

Meaning, the January 28th transfer is off while we wait for my period to arrive. Whenever it does happen I'm to call my doctor; if it doesn't happen before the 20th I'm to call as well. The new transfer date is now up in the air but likely sometime in February (likely in the one week I have after a big, big event I am planning on the 6th for work but before possible work travel to a conference on the 18th). I don't want to tell my boss that I am doing IVF (I didn't tell my retired boss either) so hopefully we can figure out the new date sometime soon so that I can tell him that my "outpatient procedure" has been rescheduled.

Moving the transfer to February isn't that big of a deal but I was looking forward to finding out whether the embryo was going to thaw/whether I was going to get pregnant/or whether I was going to have to gear up for a fresh cycle. One or two more weeks of stabbing myself with Lupron isn't going to kill me but it's not exactly pleasant. I guess I will have to be a little more patient and wait for my body to do its thing. 

Microblog Mondays

On our flight from Barcelona to Newark on Saturday we had some strong headwinds and had to refuel in Bangor, ME. We let Izzy out of her car seat and put out some of her stacking cups that I bought at a consignment sale for the trip. Across the aisle was a mother with three kids; the older two entertained themselves with tablets and the plane tvs but the youngest one who was likely around Izzy's age was quite a handful. We invited the youngest daughter over to our aisle play with the cups with Izzy and it was adorable. 

This. This is the reason that we want a second kid. I know it will be different because Izzy's sibling won't be her same age like this little girl but watching them together was adorable. Izzy tried to give the girl a hug and would hand her stacking cups to play with. Then yesterday Izzy was trying to hand books and squeaky toys to Buster to "play."

As much as I am nervous about trying to handle two kids with CP's crazy travel schedule and my work schedule, it's moments like this that make me think that while it will be hard, it will also be totally worth it.

Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

Christmas Eve

Tonight after singing to Izzy, I will kiss her goodnight way too many times, tell her I love her, and tell her that I will see her in the morning. It is a ritual that I perform every night I put her to bed. I am thankful every day that she is in our lives. This Christmas, like last Christmas, will be even more fun with her presence and I assume that she won't sleep most of the day away like she did last time! As I mentioned before, I have a new appreciation for the holidays now that she is here. They are simply going to be more fun.

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I am very excited about all of the pregnancies of people on my blog roll. And to everyone that is still trying- I hope that 2015 is your year!

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Despite starting the process to get my meds last week my insurance company couldn't get the Lupron order processed until 3pm yesterday. By that time my doctor's office and I made the decision to order from Freedom Pharmacy as we recognized that they would have no problems getting it to us by today. I am currently waiting for the package to arrive from FedEx and I will start the Lupron shots on the 30th while we are in Europe.

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We leave tomorrow for Spain so this will be my last live post for almost two weeks. I tried to schedule some posts while I was gone but only was able to put up two between getting ready for the holidays and being sick. Please think of us tomorrow and hope that we brought enough snacks and things to distract Izzy as we fly from Chicago to Vienna and then onto Barcelona! I hope that everyone has a great Christmas and New Years and I will see you guys in 2015!

Back on drugs

Monday was Day 3 so I went in for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Everything looked good so today I started birth control! I am curious to see if the pills are going to make me crazy as I had one brand do that to me in law school....I guess we will find out soon enough? I told CP that I wanted him to let me know if I was acting "off" during the next month or so- which he then had me videotape and send to him so that he had proof that I asked him to do so. LOL.

Tomorrow I start three days of antibiotics to make sure that I don't get an infection from the saline sonogram on Friday.

Yesterday I got a call from the nurse asking if January 28th is an okay day to transfer. I thought that the transfer was going to happen a little earlier in the month but the 28th works out a little better for CP's travel schedule since basically as soon as we get back from Spain in January, he has to leave for Thailand again (for possibly three weeks). It's crazy that with a frozen transfer the office is able to pinpoint a day for the transfer so far in advance.

The next hurdle is the sonogram on Friday. I am not as worried about the fibroid because during my ultrasound on Monday, the ultrasound tech found it and it is only a little over an inch. I assume that is not big enough to trigger another surgery. The other cool thing that the tech found? She was able to see my c-section scar which she said is small and healed well. While I wasn't a fan of my OB's bedside manner, the fact that the c-section went perfectly and literally everyone that has checked out my external and internal scars said that she did an excellent job, I will be going back to her if I am able to get pregnant again.

Wish me luck on Friday!

First time back at the RE

As I mentioned last week, I was nervous for my first visit back to my RE since they released me to my OB early last year. I pulled into the parking lot and had to take a few deep breaths before I walked in. I brought a picture of Izzy to show the front desk ladies and my RE and everyone gushed over the picture. After filling out a few forms, I was called back to my RE's office. She hugged me which was awkward and weird because I literally saw her a total of two times during our first IVF cycle- during our consultation and when she did my saline sonogram. She didn't even do my retrieval or the transfer! However, I always said that I didn't need any hand-holding as long as she could get me pregnant. Because she held up her end of the bargain, I decided that I could allow the hug. :-)

The appointment didn't last long. She asked how my pregnancy went and then went into discussing a frozen transfer. The embryo that turned out to be Izzy was an AA embryo (the best you can have); the frozen embryo is a BB (partially because it was frozen on day 6 because it was a slightly slower grower). She said that they behave very similarly. With a BB embryo the thaw is successful 95-98% of the time which is encouraging. My chance of getting pregnant is a little lower than two years ago but because it is a quality embryo, she gave us a 50% shot.

My RE did mention that although she doesn't see it too often, if my insurance company says that this frozen transfer will count as a retrieval (I get two more fresh cycles through insurance), then she recommended that I do a fresh cycle to make sure that I don't lose one. CP and I completely agree....although it would be really dumb for my insurance to do that. We'll see. 

The best news of all is that I got in to see her in the nick of time and if everything goes well we can do a January transfer (thus why the Santa Hustle 5K may be my last race for a while)! I should be getting my period any day now so I head in for my day 3 bloodwork and dildo cam ultrasound whenever that happens. Then on the 19th my doctor will do a saline sonogram to check out the contents of my uterus and the fibroid. If everything is okay with my tests then I will go on birth control to control my cycle, start giving myself shots of Lupron (the devil drug), inject myself for two weeks with estrogen, stick some progesterone up my vagina and have the transfer in mid January! The only annoying thing is that I will have to bring Lupron and needles on our trip to Spain, but I don't think that will be too big of a deal.

I left the appointment feeling SO hopeful which worries me. I am going to do my best to stay positive and hopefully we don't hit any obstacles along the way.

Nervous musings

Today I am officially back on the infertility rollercoaster. In a few hours I have a consultation with my RE about trying for a second child. Although it is just a consultation, I am already getting nervous.

I was tremendously lucky to get pregnant and have Izzy through not only my first and only IVF cycle, but on my first transfer. Not knowing the heartbreak of a failed cycle or transfer is of course great, but it worries me that I am simply going to expect that this frozen transfer will go just as swimmingly and CP and I will be done with expanding our family in the next year or so. In reality, there are so many things that have to go well for this to happen. Can I really hope that lightening will strike twice for us?

Am I ready to ride the rollercoaster again? As much as CP is a fantastic father, he is not the most supportive husband while going through treatments. When I was in physical pain, for instance after my fibroid/endo surgery or after the retrieval, he was great. He took care of me and understood when I was not physically able to do anything. But the harder part is the mental aspect of the rollercoaster. You have hormones coursing through your body and you just feel different. Lupron made me depressed, not interested in working out, and just plain grumpy- and that was just one of the drugs that has now spent time in my body so far. Going through the two week waits after the three IUIs and the IVF transfer were difficult but he didn't understand why I was anxious and constantly thinking about it.

Maybe now that we have Izzy and he knows just how much is at stake he will be a bit more supportive while we go through this frozen cycle? But what if we don't make it to the frozen cycle for a few months? Now that our consultation date has been pushed back to today, a January frozen transfer will not be likely to happen. If it doesn't happen in January, CP wants to play God and push it off until May because fall is very busy with family birthdays, the holidays, etc. and he doesn't want a second child's birthday to be close to Izzy's birthday. I have argued that it is possible that I may need surgery based on the fibroid that is still lurking behind my uterus which would push us back a few months anyway. I have argued that if the frozen transfer doesn't work and we need to go into a fresh cycle we are now working with 36 year old eggs (as opposed to the 34 year old frozen egg in the embryo) and we already know that I am not a great responder to the medications. And really who cares if the birthdays are close together? So why are we unnecessarily pushing everything back?

*sigh* Maybe I should have a drink before I head into my consultation?

I shouldn't have looked

On Friday I had to head to my primary car physician to get some tests and blood work done so that my physician could refer me over to my RE once again. This was supposed to happen two months ago but no one informed me that I had to get all of my tests done again, so my RE appointment is now early next month.

This delay means that the January frozen transfer that we were hoping to do will not be happening as I'm sure that we can't get everything together in time for that because I still need a saline sonogram and really, who knows what my RE will find there. We still know that I have a fibroid behind my uterus- will I need another surgery to get that taken care of before the frozen transfer? I worry that this will indeed be the case, but I will find out soon enough.

When I got into work this morning, I saw a message from my doctor that some of my blood work results were back. My FSH is still too high (14- it was 13 back in December of 2012- it should be less than 10) and my Estradiol is less than 20 which according to the ranges supplied by my doctor means that I am post-menopausal. Awesome. 

I didn't think that pregnancy would cure my hormone issues and I didn't think that it would be a cure for my fibroid, but I had a glimmer of hope that because my first IVF worked that maybe I could be that person that magically got pregnant after IVF. Not only does this make me laugh at the fact that I even had a glimmer, but it makes me even MORE nervous about the frozen transfer next year. These results put even more pressure on that to work, even though it is really out of my hands. If it doesn't work am I going to respond even more poorly to the drugs based on my new test results during a fresh cycle?

I shouldn't have looked at the results this morning because I have to leave to give a presentation in a few minutes and now I am going to be worrying about it all day.