Hard to leave

Today I left for DC and I had a tougher time leaving this trip. There are probably some likely reasons for this- I'm more hormonal than usual because I will be getting my period any day now, I'm leaving for a longer period of time (5 days instead of 3), with Izzy a few months older I am more attached, it's more involved taking care of her these days and I worry that CP will forget something, and now that she is more aware I worry that she will wonder where I am. Oh yeah, and most likely the biggest reason for my crying as I put Izzy to bed last night? The fact that I am no longer nursing her, thus causing hormonal fluctuations.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to this trip. I always get to see friends in DC and this trip is no exception. And obviously the White House invitation doesn't hurt. :-) 

I know CP will do a fine job. But when I left the house early this morning and he said something about mixing frozen milk into the container in the fridge that held salad dressing? I was a little worried (he didn't have his glasses on). Leaving will be good for me and hopefully for CP as he sees how hard it is to be a single working parent while the other parent is on a work trip. He already asked his boss to work from home two days this week to make it a bit easier as well. And really? If he doesn't run the house exactly as I do, the world won't come to an end. Izzy will be fine. Buster probably won't get as many walks, but he will also survive.

But boy will I be excited to see my family Thursday night when I get home (hopefully in time to see Izzy before she goes to bed).

White House invitation

Oh my gosh you guys I am so freaking excited! On Friday I received an email from the White House inviting me to a celebration next week!! I will already be in DC for a conference and a two-day meeting on the same topic but OMG the WHITE HOUSE! I have never even been on the tour- just outside the gates!!

To say that I am excited is an understatement. I know that it is entirely possible that the President and/or the First Lady may not be there...and I have to admit, that will make me very sad. Today I have been emailing with Mel to get the scoop on White House visits (thanks for all of the great information Mel!) since she has been a number of times.  I like to know what I am getting into.  :-) I'm crossing my fingers that I can bring my phone in so that I can take some photos- my sister wants me to take a selfie with POTUS but I can't imagine that is going to happen.  But I do think that if he shows up, we are going to be instant best friends.

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In case you are worried about me getting too big for my britches now that I have been invited to the White House, no need to worry about that.  Today I showed up to work not realizing that the hem on the right side of my pants came out.  I didn't have a safety pin or something similar to fix the issue- so I used scotch tape.  Yep.  

Spoiler alert: I had to walk to a meeting a little less than a mile away and my "brilliant fix" didn't work.

Difficulty stopping

Stopping my breastmilk supply has been difficult so far. I brought my pump home from work last week and put my home pump away as well. Last week I had CP pick up a head of cabbage which I put on under my bra at night. The cool leaves felt good but I'm not sure that it did much. After only 30 minutes or so the cabbage leaves start to stink so I haven't been too religious about stuffing my bra with them.

I thought I was doing well and only having to hand express for a minute on each side to relieve pressure once a day....then this weekend happened. I'm not sure if it was the two runs at the end of last week (possibly stimulating my nipples in my sports bra with the friction), but this weekend my breasts HURT. Especially my left one (which is the one that didn't have as much milk?!?).

On Sunday I broke down and bought Sudafed which supposedly has an ingredient that drops your supply. I had some freaky dreams Sunday night (thinking that I was in the show The Leftovers) but I plan on finishing out the box. I also grabbed some Peppermint Altoids and drank a couple cups of Peppermint tea as I guess peppermint is supposed to help decrease your supply as well. I don't really want to down tons of Halls if I am not sick, but I might start soon.

While I appreciate my boobs hanging on to every last drop in case Izzy decides to change her mind, it is too late and I would really appreciate it if they would dry up as soon as possible.

The End

Last Monday I went through the usual morning routine while CP was still in Thailand. I got Izzy up, changed her and went to nurse her when she started hysterically crying. I was very confused but kept trying to nurse her. She kept pushing away, crying, until I finally decided that I would make a bottle of formula and pump while I fed it to her. All week she refused to nurse in the morning and then halfway through the week she started refusing her bedtime feedings as well. "That's it" I told myself. The end of nursing. Just like that. I wasn't ready for it to really be the end and I burst out crying as well.

I searched the internet for possible reasons. There were a bunch suggested on various websites and most agreed that a baby wouldn't self-wean at 7.5 months old. Message board posters said that nursing strikes could last a week or as long as a month.

I am leaving for a work trip at the end of the month so my original plan was that I would continue nursing/pumping through that trip so that it wasn't a shock to Izzy for her mother to leave for 5 days AND to suddenly not nurse. But then Izzy started her nursing strike. I didn't know how long it would last but I knew that I didn't want to pump instead of nurse. Nursing at this age was so easy- no issues with whether or not she was latching correctly, easy on/off and it didn't even take that long anymore. My only issue was that she occasionally bit my nipples. But I still hate pumping with a passion.

So I decided that it was time to wean in hopes that I wouldn't have to bring my pump on my work trip in a few weeks.  Suddenly, instead of trying to produce as much milk as possible, I was trying to decrease my milk production to zero. What a mind-f*ck. A neighbor advised me to try to do it quickly because she was a crying, hormonal mess when weaning....but as soon as she was done she felt free as a bird. 

All this weekend I did my best to tank my supply by only hand expressing when I had to. It's still probably going to take a few weeks until I am fully in the clear (especially on my right boob since I was still producing a ton of milk). I am doing my best to think positively about it. I no longer will have to wear nursing bras. I will soon no longer have to leave work to pump. I no longer have to bring bottles and a cooler to work. I can wake up later every morning. CP can take more of the feeds every day. If I get back into running I will no longer have to worry about if I just pumped or nursed before heading out. And, I'm crossing my fingers that my boobs shrink a bit.

Yesterday morning I got Izzy to nurse a little after her formula bottle to help with my engorged breast and as much as I poo-poo'ed it before, nursing really is quite the bonding experience. Once you get through the hell of the first couple of weeks it is truly amazing and something that I am so glad that Izzy and I were able to share for 7.5 months. I will definitely miss it but we have had a good run after a shaky start. At least I have enough milk in the freezer to give her two bottles of breastmilk a day into early August.....that will ease my mother's guilt at least a little bit....

7 months old

Height: Not sure

Weight: 18 pounds, 12 ounces at her sick visit last week...that weight includes a onesie, cloth diaper, and diaper cover

Milestones: Izzy continues to be lazy about rolling over, mostly doing it from her belly to her back when she wants to.  She is a pro at sitting up though.  No more falling over for this girl!  

She is thisclose to crawling too.  She bounces up and down on her butt while sitting and walks her hands out, but usually decides against continuing to go forward and instead sits back again.  Izzy is also standing (!) by herself.  Of course we have to put her there, but she can hold it for about 20 seconds without any assistance.

The picture I got from CP on Friday while I was at work.  He of course stood her up, but Izzy held it all by herself!  

She has two more teeth coming in- the two on the sides of the front top teeth which is going to look pretty funny with her two center bottom teeth.  Why get your teeth in the right order??

This month she also started to raise her arms up when she wants you to pick her up (off the floor, out of her car seat, etc.). She also favors me over CP, which is starting to hurt CP's feelings.  She will cry and get upset if CP holds her, but as soon as she is transferred into my arms, she is content and happy.  I'm sure that at some point the tables will turn so I mainly feel bad for CP when she does it.

Speech: More shrieking and babbling.  It's quite adorable. She definitely knows the words "Daddy" and "Buster."  

Favorite Toy: She is still loving Sophie, the most expensive squeaky dog/infant toy. Every time she sees it and we make Sophie squeak, Izzy breaks out in a huge grin and reaches for her. Buster continues to be a source of lots of smiles as well.

Best friends

Sleeping Habits: Izzy is still my rockstar sleeper.  She is usually down by 7:30-8 and during the week I have to wake her up, but on the weekends she will sleep until 7am or so.  Go Izzy!

Eating: Izzy gets the milk bar every morning and before bed and four 5oz bottles of breastmilk/formula at daycare. Some days I pump close to the 20oz that she needs while I am gone, sometimes I have to supplement more.

Once Izzy hit six months CP were ready to feed her purees and so far it has been a bit of a flop. Pureed sweet potatoes was her first taste of solids and she made some funny faces. 

I'm not so sure about this stuff.....

Bananas with breastmilk had a better reaction, as did pureed pears. But avocado and breastmilk, carrots, and a carrot/corn/pea/potato puree with breastmilk have all been misses.

Ewwwwww mommy!

 It would be nice to get her eating some solids so that she is not getting all of her calories from breastmilk and/or formula. I guess it will come in time....

Mmmmmm corn.

What's funny is that she LOVES whatever we are eating. No funny faces are made when we have her taste an Asian sauce at dinner.  She wanted to gnaw on the corn cob above even though it had somewhat-spicy ceviche juice all over it.  The other night we went to dinner at a French restaurant and she loved CP's steak juice and my halibut sauce.  So I'm pretty confused.  I guess she doesn't like bland veggies, but wants things with spices and herbs?  We can do that kid!

Enjoying daddy's flavorful steak juice

Diapers: Still in size 2 cloth diapers. We are also still using disposable diapers at night and so far, zero leaks.

Clothes: Izzy has officially moved to 9 month clothing.

Illness: Izzy had a pretty good month until last week.  Daycare called on Wednesday to let me know that she had a fever.  It wasn't very high but they said that she was pretty unhappy so I decided to pick her up.  By the time I got her 45 minutes later we checked her temperature again and it had gone up so I took her to the doctor.  The result?  A double ear infection and some antibiotics.  

Check out my rosy fever cheeks.  Mommy is trying to feed me yogurt to get some probiotics in my stomach.

Other highlights:  CP's first Fathers Day! Unfortunately he had just gotten back from Thailand the day before (on his birthday) and was sort of out of it so we went to lunch with family.

Izzy's Fathers Day outfit

Izzy started swim lessons this month, but CP and I took her to the pool beforehand (CP was going to be traveling for her first lesson). So far classes are going okay- it's mainly singing with the babies, trying to get them to kick in the water, etc.  Izzy is pretty chill....other than her intense dislike of floating on her back.

Izzy's first introduction to the pool

It's finally become nice enough out to break out the kiddie pool we bought from a neighbor for $5 last summer.  We were originally going to use it with Koda, but didn't get a chance last summer.  I tried to get Buster in the pool to cool off on Sunday but he only wanted to drink the water while standing outside the pool so Izzy and I enjoyed the cool water instead.

Kiddie pool time!

Finally, Izzy had her first daycare "incident." I went to pick her up last week and noticed a scratch on her nose.  I figured Izzy did it to herself, but it turns out that another child was reaching for a toy and accidentally scratched Izzy.  I laughed as I had to sign a sheet saying that I was told about the incident.  Really???

Seriously? It's just a scratch.