2017 Results

Last year I posted my 2017 goals. How did I do? Well, it was a mixed bag.

1. Dress up more on the weekends and when I am at home. It's so easy to throw on a sweatshirt and yoga pants to do anything and everything on the weekends. I have really been trying to make an effort to dress up for dinners out with the family and to look a bit nicer in general when I go out in public. I have continued my goal of doing my hair and putting on makeup more often so the next step is my clothes. :-)

RESULT: I did a pretty good job. I have upgraded my wardrobe more and don't wear yoga pants EVERY day on the weekends. :-)

2. Continue to send paper cards to friends for their birthdays. This has been a goal for the past couple of years and I have kept it up. I know how much I love receiving mail and think that my friends would too (I do get thank yous from friends every year. They are also amazed that I remember- well, generally I don't but I use a free website called birthday-reminders.com. I input birthdays and I get an email 7 days beforehand which gives me time to buy a card and send it! (If I was smart I would buy all the cards for a year ahead of time but I like to personalize the card for each friend.)

RESULT: Success! I think that I only missed one card this year and I took Lacey's suggestion of stocking up on cards ahead of time so that I didn't have to run out for a card every time I had a birthday coming up.

3. The usual lose weight goal. I'm back at 208 but really want to be at 190 by the end of the year. I've got to do better about eating healthy- especially while I am still BF so that I can burn the extra calories!

RESULT: Big fat fail. I'm now more like 220 so now I have even more weight to lose this year. :-(

4. Part of that weight goal will include working on being more active. Right now during the week I am going from 5am to about 8:30pm (depending on when the kids get to bed). I'm not sure I have it in me to wake up before 5am to exercise. I do take Buster on walks three days a week (Sat, Sun, and my telework day), but my body is itching for MORE and HARDER exercise. This goal will get easier once I am no longer breastfeeding as I will get that time back. For now, I would like my goal to be to work out 4 days a week.

RESULT: Mixed. Starting in May I would wake up at 5am to work out a few times a week. I was doing great with running until I left for TX in November and have since fallen off the wagon. So for about half the year I was getting up early to exercise.

5. Spend more quality time with CP. I would love if we could take a trip, or even just stay overnight in downtown Chicago, just the two of us later this year. We try hard to have one date night every month- thank goodness my mom is willing and able to babysit!

RESULT: Success! CP and I got away for a weekend around his birthday to eat meals without the kids and to see Hamilton. It was really nice!

6. Breastfeed Wes *at least* as long as I breastfed Izzy. I don't think that this one will be too hard. Wes is now 6 months old and I made it 7.5 months before Izzy decided she no longer wanted to nurse....so I don't have that long to go. Best case scenario I breastfeed until the end of winter. I would be okay with mostly formula feeding and then maybe nursing in the morning and at night as he gets closer to the age of 1. 

RESULT: Success! I was able to breastfeed Wes longer than I breastfed Izzy although my body stopped producing milk before I was ready to stop. 

7. Run in at least two races this year. I don't care the distance, but participating in races makes me more accountable with my running!

RESULT: Success! I ran in 4 races this year- three 5Ks and one 15K. I ran a total of 171.24 miles this year in 9 out of the 12 months of the year. My biggest month was October when I ran 37.68 miles (also the month that I ran the 15K).

I'm still mulling over my 2018 goals. What is your #1 2018 goal?

Playing catch up

So much to catch up on! I have been a bad blogger recently because I simply haven't felt like writing. I think it has to do with being so exhausted every day after hearing whatever Trump has done that day to bring our country closer to Armageddon. So- bullets it is!

*Two weekends ago I headed down to Ft Lauderdale sans CP and the kids for a long weekend with ladies from my freshman hall in college. Despite being in four different sororities and now living in states across the country, 6 out of the 8 of us were able to get together for a fun girls weekend! It was nice and relaxing to be in sunny FL and to not have to worry about diapers, naps, etc. Saturday night we even pretended like we were still in collegeand did way too many shots! Thankfully I don't have many nights like that any more. The only annoying thing about the weekend was having to pump.

I don't remember FL beaches being this beautiful

*That Sunday night CP called as Izzy had puked all over herself. Later she had diarrhea so CP was trying to handle a crying, sick Izzy while also dealing with Wes. I came back on Monday night and we took turns taking off of work to stay home with Izzy (she was able to go back to daycare on Thursday). Since I was already home with a sick Izzy on Valentine's Day I made use of the day to clean parts of the house, bake some bread, and bake some cookies! We didn't do anything special for the holiday....

CP complains that I don't bake much anymore so now I'm good for another year or so? LOL

*The house renovation seems like it is a go! We are finishing up finalizing the scope of the project and CP and I are trying to nail down housing for three months starting April 1st with a 90 pound dog (harder than it sounds!). Thankfully after refinancing our house (cash-out), getting some money from my parents, using money from our savings, and getting a loan from my parents we won't have to take out any more commercial loans for the project. It isn't everything that we wanted to do but we can't afford everything we want to do so we are moving forward with what we can do. With any luck all of the renovations will be complete by the end of June!

*Buster has been limping a bit and acting weird about going up stairs and jumping into the cars so I took him in for x-rays. Unfortunately it looks like he has partial ACL tears in both hind legs. We are doing our best to keep him quiet so hopefully they scar over and we don't need to have surgery on either leg just yet but he is not even 6 (next month). Poor buddy.

*This past weekend I flew out sans kids and CP to perform matron of honor duties for my best friend in VA. It was a fabulous wedding and although I missed CP, he would have been dreadfully bored the entire time because I was busy with MOH stuff all weekend long.

*Unfortunately when I got back on Monday night, I noticed Wes breathing fast and retraction in his belly/throat. So CP stayed home with Izzy and I took Wes to the ER since it was too late for urgent care. He had two nebulizer treatments (one 5 min, the other 1 hour) before we finlly got a room on the peds floor at 3:30am. Poor Wes screamed bloody murder when they tried to put a cannula on him- I think he may have PTSD from his NICU days. We stayed at the hospital most of the day Tuesday and CP is home with him today. Is the universe trying to tell me that I am not allowed to get away from my kids for a weekend??

Napping on Mommy in the ER....unfortunately his oxygen levels dropped while he was sleeping

Sleeping with oxygen

In his baby jail once we got moved up to the Peds unit

Mom uhhh where the hell am I?

*Finally, last night Izzy had a nightmare. She was crying in her room and when I got in there, she told me that "wolves were chasing her." Essentially she was having a nightmare about a short section of the movie "Frozen." LOL.

Trying to keep a secret

Despite having made it through the first and very important ultrasound, I am still wary of celebrating this pregnancy quite yet. I mean, I'm still blown away by the fact that this miracle, magical pregnancy happened to us. I literally thought that we would never have this happen and we would only get pregnant via IVF. 

However, we still have a ways to go until we are out of the first trimester and not being able to go in for an ultrasound until next Tuesday is so tough. Currently only my parents know about the pregnancy, but the I want to keep it a secret for a little while longer....something that may not be possible.

This weekend CP and I were out and about doing Christmas-y things with Izzy when my neighbor texted and asked if she could use our freezer as they needed to flash-freeze dumplings and they ran out of room in their freezer. I told her how to get into our house but didn't think about the fact that my ultrasound pictures were hanging up in the kitchen, hard to miss. She hasn't said anything and hopefully she was too distracted to see them, but the next day I brought over a baby item (she is currently pregnant) that we never used with Izzy and she said, "well, I'll make sure to keep it if you ever need it....." I assume she is not saying anything because she looked at the date of the ultrasound and saw that it was still early....  I have since moved the ultrasound pictures upstairs in a drawer where no one can see them.

This week my parents and my sister and her fiance are coming over for Christmas. The weekend before my birthday we all went out to dinner to a Peruvian restaurant and while everyone else indulged in ceviche and alcohol, I demurred saying that I wasn't feeling well from the night before. My sister and fiance seemed clueless that night, but we skipped their holiday party this past weekend because I have been so exhausted (and knew that it wouldn't be much fun without alcohol)....then if I don't drink again on Christmas maybe her radar will go off? Then again, because she doesn't seem too interested in having kids, she may not notice at all. In general, I don't want her to find out until I am into the second trimester as I'm not even sure she responded at all to the fact that I had a miscarriage this spring (seriously, after telling her the news I don't even think that she said anything).

Finally, CP's sister and her family are flying out for almost a week the day after Christmas. CP is taking next week off to hang out with them, but I checked my vacation time/sick time balances and figured out that if I do give birth in late July I am not going to have enough time saved up for a 3 month maternity leave, so I shouldn't take any time off. I think that they are going to be a bit confused with me going into work while they are here, which means we probably need to tell them what is going on (not to mention that we both will be going to a doctor appointment next week). However, I would love to wait until at least Tuesday AFTER the next ultrasound because I am either going to be happy or crying and I would rather not have them get all excited if this is just going to end in disaster.

So, my plans to keep the pregnancy news a secret for a while longer will likely be ruined later this week. Fingers crossed I won't have to re-tell the same people bad news just a few days later.

Almost Wordless Wednesday- our vacation to northern WI

So I wish that I could say that we had a fantastic vacation in northern WI (specifically Rhinelander, WI) with our friends and their kids. My pregnant friend didn't even bother me too much (I did have to put her in place a couple times- for instance when she complained about not being able to drink with us). It was mainly the weather- cold and rainy- and the fact that there simply wasn't that much to do in the area with bad weather.

The other couples had 3 kids that are 4 years old a one 6 year old so the adults could hang out upstairs and only head downstairs (where we put most of the toys for the kids) to break up fights/see why kids were crying. With a toddler, CP and I couldn't really leave Izzy alone with the Legos because she still puts things in her mouth occasionally so we were up and down the stairs constantly, in and out of conversations. Plus the big kids mainly saw Izzy as an obstacle to get around instead of trying to play with her. Poor Izzy. 

Anyway, we did make some fun memories in the week that we were there and it was better than being at work.....but we are actively trying to plan a vacation for this winter (somewhere warm) to make up for this one.

Until then, some pictures!

We plied Izzy with chocolate Munchkins on the 5+ hour ride up to the house. She very much enjoyed them.

There is a bear in the house! And a fish!

Izzy decided not to nap the entire drive up so instead she fell asleep on the short boat ride we took once everyone arrived at the house. We really only used the boat two days because of the weather which is too bad because we rented it for the week! :-( We were able to see a few bald eagles and loon out on the water.

One of the first rainy days we drove out to the Lumberjack Steam Train where we rode the train and explored the "camp" a bit. They had an old train where Izzy practiced "driving."

The camp also featured a petting zoo with donkeys, cows, goats, ducks, bunnies, and cats. Izzy was in heaven and this calf was super cute.

He licked my hand mom!

The next rainy day we went bowling. Izzy fell in love with her Mickey Mouse ball and even scored an 88 beating the 3 four-year olds! Her first time bowling was quite a hit.

Izzy learned about the deliciousness of s'mores while managing to get marshmallow on her face and in her hair.

We spent half a day in the nearby town of Minoqua which had some cute shops downtown and brewery where we ate lunch. Izzy became obsessed with this stuffed monkey at one of the shops.

Nearby was Holiday Acres, which had pony rides. We figured Izzy would just walk around in a circle in a ring, but no.....they handed the reins to CP and we were off with Butterscotch for a walk in the woods! Izzy wasn't too happy when we left as she wanted another ride on Butterscotch.

Finally, a short video where Izzy plays with her favorite toy from the week. This $12 toy from Amazon kept all of the kids amused for at least an hour!

Next time we are headed somewhere with more to do in case the weather decides to rain on us for most of the vacation!

Microblog Mondays

Random thoughts around infertility/pregnancy

*We are only halfway through the summer and yet I am somewhat ready for fall. We have had quite a pleasant summer so far temperature-wise, but I am ready to stop playing the pregnancy game. What is the pregnancy game? Well you can easily rule out the skinny bitches and the 9 month pregnant bellies but the game is all about the inbetweeners. With minimal clothing on during the summer months I am constantly looking at women's bellies as I walk past them on the street. I'm not sure why I do this but I start asking myself, is there a baby in there or is she just out of shape? When the weather turns cooler I won't be able to play which will be good for my sanity.

*Remember the friend that upset me because when I was having my miscarriage she only mentioned that she was "in the danger zone" and then later told me that she was basically only a few days off from my due date had my pregnancy worked out? Well in a few weeks we will be spending a week together in WI with another couple and their kids. I'm no longer upset with her but I am wondering if seeing her pregnant belly and the inevitable talk about being pregnant is going to cause me to drink more on the trip than I would otherwise.

*Recently, there have been a number of infertile bloggers that I read that are finding out that they are pregnant with number two despite having first kids that are younger than Izzy. I hate to say it but these announcements are killing me. I know that a pregnant infertile is always a win for the infertile community but I'm jealous. I had the chance for a second child slip through my fingers earlier this year and I guess that I am not fully over it. All of this waiting to see an infectious disease doctor is not helping either.

*Speaking of my miscarriage, I can't help but think that I caused the miscarriage because I was selfish and didn't want to give myself the progesterone in oil shots. That maybe the embryo just didn't have enough hormones- and if it did it would have survived and I would still be pregnant. I know that there are a lot of reasons that people miscarry and this was a BB embryo that was frozen on day 6 so even with PIO it's possible I still would have miscarried. All of that being said, I feel like I let the embryo down and I will never know if it was my fault or not.

*I am not a fan of my current nurse at my fertility clinic. My usual nurse is on maternity leave for her third pregnancy and I'm pretty sure that the other nurses are unhappy that they had to take on extra patients while she is out. I don't consider myself a difficult patient but they seem to have little patience for me. 

Looking to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

Microblog Mondays

This Saturday my next door neighbor (Neighbor #1) dropped a bomb- she is 8 weeks pregnant. She already has 3 boys, the youngest is currently 5 years old. She has been drooling over Izzy and I knew that she was thinking about it, but has mentioned numerous times how sick she gets when pregnant so she wasn't entirely looking forward to doing it again. She also mentioned at one point that she only wants a girl and would do gender selection but I have no idea if they went through with that or if they were kidding.

We happened to be with another neighbor of ours (Neighbor #2)  who has two girls (the youngest only 1 month older than Izzy). Neighbor #2 knows a little bit about our infertility (no one else on the block knows)- she knows that we had to use IVF to have Izzy and that I had a miscarriage this spring. Her best friend is struggling with infertility so I try to help her with what to say/what not to say and how to help as she is pretty clueless since she had no fertility struggles. 

However I had to hold back a snarky comment when Neighbor #2 said "Oh I want to be pregnant again too! I need to get pregnant soon!"

If only it were that easy....

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Snippets

I know that most people in my life have no idea what is going on right now but I really wish that people would stop asking "how are you?" I of course lie and say "fine" but what I really want to say is "sh*tty as I have a non-viable pregnancy in my uterus right now." But that wouldn't be socially acceptable.

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Last night I felt a lot of cramping as I went to bed and throughout the night. I was convinced that I was going to start bleeding any time now today....but so far nothing. While it would be nice to have this happen naturally, today would have been THE WORST DAY to have it happen at the office because I had to run a two hour task force meeting, participate in a 1.5 hour videoconference, and meet with my boss' boss and a director. And that was just part of my day. Thankfully, my body has cooperated so far.

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Unfortunately, my HCG went up past 6000 as of Weds. So now even after I miscarry it is going to take just that much longer to head down to 0. *sigh*

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Tonight I am having dinner with two of my good girl friends from my time in law school. They are both part of the couples that we vacation with every year- and will be doing so again in August. Part of our worry about scheduling the week long vacation in August was that one of the women and I both were hoping to be pregnant early this year. You guys obviously know how that is currently working out for me...so far no word on whether my friend who gets pregnant if her husband sneezes on her will show up knocked up to this dinner (she is in from out of town). I just know that both of my friends are going to ask how it is going with us. The friend that lives here in Chicago CP and I saw the day we found out I was pregnant from the frozen transfer...but because we weren't ready to tell anyone I lied and said that it wasn't going well. But tonight if asked I am going to have a to be honest because we are scheduled to go out to dinner Saturday night as couples and after taking Misoprostol tomorrow, I am thinking that I may not be up for dinner with everyone....

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I have no idea what to think about tomorrow. I'm wondering if because I had crazy heavy periods before my fibroid/endo surgery if it will be similar to that just more emotional?

Microblog Mondays

Oh man. I am no longer 18 any more. This weekend I headed out to NYC for a fun weekend with college friends. CP decided not to go because he had been traveling so much so he stayed home with Izzy. Most of the other husbands decided not to join us as well so it was a fun girls weekend in which I drank far too much.

Friday night at our last stop of the night we went to a gay bar called Flaming Saddles. Instead of women dancing on the bar, it was gay men and it was hilarious. They got really into it!

Needless to say, after being out until 3am Friday night, we rallied and started drinking again at 11am on Saturday morning. Yesterday I ate breakfast but felt awful the entire day. Didn't eat lunch. Didn't eat dinner. Went to bed at 9pm. Today I am feeling better, but man does alcohol do a number on this 35-year-old body!


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Gatlinburg, TN vacation

Before this trip gets too far away I want to make sure I post on our trip to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We drove down and stayed in Gatlinburg, TN which is right outside of the park.

As I mentioned in Izzy's 10 month post, she had a lot of firsts on this trip. This was her first time going to an aquarium and despite the fact that this aquarium was in TN it was actually a great one for her. There was a moving walkway where fish, sharks, manta rays, etc. could all swim around us and above us. Izzy thought this was fascinating and did a lot of pointing!

There's a shark above me!

Ohhh jellyfish

We did a number of hikes and Izzy saw her first few waterfalls. She was so comfortable in the hiking backpack that she fell asleep on one of the hikes!

Halfway up the Mt Laurel Falls hike

Mt Laurel falls

Behind Grotto Falls

View from Clingman's Dome parking lot

The final few steps up to Clingman's Dome, the highest point in the Park. We picked a great day and had fantastic views!

It was a little windy at the top of Clingman's Dome!

Beginning Andrew's Bald hike which led into a meadow with views of the mountains.

This was our first time in a cave. It was a little hard for the toddlers to listen to the guide and Izzy freaked out when the lights were turned out and the cave turned pitch black, but she calmed down quickly.

In the cave

Sleeping bat

Colorful lights in the cave

We took a trip up to Ober Gatlinburg which is essentially the local ski area. All of us having gone to school in CO laughed at the "extreme terrain" shirts they sold at the gift shop because, come on. This trip was mainly for the toddler set as they got to go on a few of the rides but the adults had fun on the alpine slide. Izzy enjoyed the playground and went down a playground slide for the first time (on my lap).

She enjoyed whatever this thing is called.

We made her wear funny hats and pose for silly pictures.

Izzy's first carousel! She held onto me with a death grip.

Otherwise, we did a whole lot of swimming, we took a group (14 people!) Old Tyme photo which is hilarious because one toddler refused to put on a costume and in the picture we selected, Izzy is trying to eat her foot. A keeper for sure. :-)

Last minute preparations

Whoops!  I didn't mean to disappear like that, but we have been quite busy with last minute preparations before the baby arrives!

*I found our pediatrician!  I was getting nervous because it's really getting down to the wire, but every other ped that came recommended didn't take my insurance.  This dr seems like he is going to be great.  He seems like he will be easy to work with, his office is close to our house, and he has night and weekend hours.

*I took our SUV in to get the base and the car seat inspected at our local police department.  Thank goodness I did because we had it in the middle of the back seat and it shouldn't have been there!  Tomorrow I will be taking the Prius in to do the same check.

*Work held a cute baby shower for me last week.  It is going to be so weird to be out for three months.  Especially now that my boss and one of my coworkers have announced that they are retiring in January.  Our department is only 10 people so if the two of them are gone and another person is 99% getting a transfer, it's going to be a whole different office upon my return.

*This past weekend CP and I cleaned out the second bedroom.  It had been basically a junk room with a queen bed for guests, but now that we have my mom and my MIL staying with us after the baby arrives (at separate times), we needed to clean it up for their stays.  Now that it is basically clean, our house is as ready is as it going to be for the baby!!  

*This week is pretty hectic trying to fit in various social obligations before the baby arrives and makes it more difficult.  Our friends braved the awful weather on Sunday and came over to our place to hang out and watch football.  Well, they have two year old twins so not a ton of football was watched as we ran around keeping them out of various things in our house, but it was nice to see them!  Last night was my RESOLVE dinner with the currently-pregnant and currently parenting fellow infertiles.  They were all so excited that I came to the dinner at almost 38 weeks pregnant.  Tonight we are going out to dinner in the city to celebrate my dad's birthday.  Then tomorrow night I am meeting a former college track teammate for dinner in the suburbs whom I haven't seen in years (she just moved to Chicago).  After all of this I hope to sleep for an entire day.  HA!

*My hospital-grade breast pump arrived yesterday in the mail (three cheers for Obamacare!).  I opened the box and checked everything out, but will wait to fully inspect it until after the breastfeeding class this Sunday.

*I took a few minutes out of my work day yesterday to check out where I am supposed to pump after coming back to work.  They actually have a Medalla pump here and if I want to, I can bring my own tubing and supplies.  Not sure what I am going to do at this point, but doing that would save me a bunch of hassle having to drag the pump and supplies back and forth three times a week.  Then I could just keep my regular pump at home.

*The underwire on my current bras has been killing me so I thought buying a nursing bra without underwire would help these last few weeks.  I went to Nordstroms where I was told they have a large selection for women with huge melons.  They only had one style that was underwire-free (I read on one of your blogs that underwire can sometimes cause mastitis) which I ended up buying, but I think that once my milk comes in, it's not going to fit anymore.  The saleswoman said that "it will stretch", but it is currently fitting NOW.  So, uh...we'll see.

*I also bought a few nursing shirts for easy access while I am on maternity leave.  I'm not going to look sexy, but at least I will be comfortable and provide easy access.

*Koda hasn't been doing well.  The bone near her eye is jutting out more and more and now the extra eye flap (not sure what it is called) is usually covering most of her eye.  We took her into the vet this past weekend and got some ointment that is helping with the irritation, but I get more worried every day.  It doesn't seem to bother her, but I can't imagine she can see through the flap.  Twice this week she hasn't been that interested in eating or only finishes half her bowl of food which is completely unlike her.  We are not sure if it is because it hurts her to eat or if it is something else.

Poor Koda.  Check out her left eye.

*I had a dream last night that I fell off a cliff.  I woke up startled at 4am and was so freaked out, I had to putz around on my phone for a few minutes before trying to go back to sleep.  I quickly googled what that meant and it basically means that I am feeling out of control about something in my life.  Hmmm....could it be that I am having a baby in less than two weeks???

Non sequitur post

I'm not sure if the phrase "exactly 6 weeks until the C-section!" is similar to a magical kick in the butt, but uttering it on Friday seemed to spur something in CP.  Our weekend was mainly filled with friends and family as it was my mom's birthday on Friday (we had a delicious dinner in Chicago to celebrate) and then my second baby shower on Saturday.  I didn't get to bed until after midnight both nights so I was dragging on Sunday- even after going out for a delicious dim sum brunch in Chicago's Chinatown.  But as soon as I got back to the house from dropping my friend who flew out for the shower at the airport, CP was in baby mode.  He first wanted to head to Buy Buy Baby to get the rest of the essential items on our registry.  A ridiculous amount of money later (THANK GOODNESS FOR BABY SHOWERS), we dragged our new purchases back to the house and started to put things together.

Actually, I first voiced my uneasiness over putting all of the baby stuff together when we don't have a baby in our arms yet, but CP poo-poo'ed my worries.  I still feel a bit uneasy that we have things other than just the crib and the glider put together, but since we have the time now, I guess it makes sense.  Plus it removes a large number of boxes from our living room and we can start to figure out where things are going to fit in the house.  Koda and Buster were both very interested in all of the new purchases and seemed kind of bummed that they were not new dog toys.  CP and I were joking that this kid better not be allergic to dogs because there is no way we could keep the dog hair off of...well....everything in the house!

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On a completely different topic, when people tell you that pregnant women are like furnaces, it is seriously not a joke.  The past couple of days have been a bit cooler here in the Chicago area and with our windows closed, the house has been staying at a pretty consistent 61 or 62 degrees, even if the temperature outside is only 42.  I am perfectly happy with this temperature, but Sunday morning CP came downstairs and noticed that we could actually see our breath while we were in the sunroom.  The sunroom has always been a bit cooler than the rest of the house- it was an addition to the original house and we are guessing that it is not well insulated.....and it doesn't have a basement beneath it.  So the fact that the thermostat in the dining room said that the house was 61 degrees didn't mean that the sunroom was that temperature.  Normally (aka pre-pregnancy) I would be FREEZING and surreptitiously adding a few degrees to the thermostat, but I have rejoicing in the cooler house temperature.  However, tonight is supposed to get down to 33 and I think that we may finally need to turn the heat on.....boo.

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Hmm this may be the start of a number of disjointed and non sequitur posts if I don't go to bed earlier....

First shower then arrrrrggghhhh

This past weekend was my shower in CT. I flew out Friday afternoon while CP flew from CA to IL (his flight to CT was Saturday morning).  Friday night my friend had a party and I got to see a number of people I haven't seen in a year which was nice. Saturday night was the coed shower and it basically featured alcohol for everyone but me and delicious food. The ladies gathered in the living room to open presents and I was amazed at some of the stuff we got. It definitely makes it more real now that we have actual clothes and baby items in our house!

Funny story- people were still hanging out around the fire pit at midnight. I thought I may want to go to bed soon but because CP hadn't seen the guys in a year and didn't drink the night before, he leaned over to me (clearly intoxicated) and said, "can I stay with (his friend) tonight? I know we haven't seen each other in two weeks but we have the rest of our lives." Ha ha. I figured all we were going to do was go to sleep at our friend's house anyway.....and that CP would snore all night from the alcohol....so I told him it was okay. I woke up the next morning to a text from CP at 1:49am saying, "Sorry I wasn't more supportive tonight I love you." Awwww. I'm guessing spell checker came into play for the text.... :-)

Being back in CT made me miss not only our friends there, but also the town. We had a great time in our two years there and it was a fantastic community. I would have loved to raise a kid there. We have been busy renovated our house here in Chicago so we haven't been able to go out and find new friends....hopefully that changes once we have the baby.

We came back to a surprise from my parents. Not only were they nice enough to watch the dogs for the weekend, but they decided to spruce up our front garden again! They moved the begonias they had planted to the back, transplanted part of two huge hostas in the back, and planted mums in the front! My iPad doesn't want to put the pictures in so you will just have to trust me. My parents still rock.

However, my week has gone downhill from there. My job is affected by the government shutdown and I'm furious, unnerved, and feeling out of control. I really should blog about it but it would be a complete rant and I have been ranting the past two days to everyone I talk to as it is. I have nothing new to add other than I hope that Congress (mainly the House Republicans) get it the f*ck together and get the government up and running again. Sadly, I don't see it happening soon because of the Tea Party minority. Ugh.

In addition, CP went downstairs last night and opened our extra freezer to see how much room we had in there since we have been making and freezer a bunch of meals for post-baby with fresh veggies from our garden. Turns out the freezer conked out at some point and EVERYTHING was defrosted. The Swiss chard quiche, the moussaka, tomato sauce, the beef broth, the frozen blueberries, the raspberry preserves, the pesto, etc. ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CP and I wanted to cry.  All of our hard work and effort for naught. I was very bitter as I was throwing out all of the food today. VERY bitter. And what with the shutdown, we don't exactly have the money to go out and buy a new freezer to start stockpiling food again.

At least CP will be back from his work trip on Friday night and he won't be gone for two weeks again.....

CP's brilliant idea

While CP was off working in LA these past two weeks he had a chance to read a bit more of his book for expectant fathers.  One of the interesting things he came across is studies of babies in utero and if you play a certain song over and over, the baby will recognize it after birth.  Same thing with voices.  Obviously the baby knows my voice since it hears me every day and I would think that the baby knows CP's voice?  Then again he has been away for two weeks and so far this pregnancy I haven't been able to get CP to talk to my belly/the baby.

So CP came up with an idea that I absolutely LOVE.  To have all of the grandparents read a short baby book into some sort of device and play it for the baby every night.  That way not only will the baby recognize our voices, but also the voices of its grandparents (my parents are here and will be seeing their first grandchild a lot, but CP's parents are both in NH).  Genius and completely adorable, right?  My heart completely melted when he told me this plan this week (my mom teared up when I told her the plan).  

I just found recordable storybooks so maybe that's what we do for this little project?  Any other suggestions?  I want to get working on this soon because I'm basically down to two months before this baby is evicted!  (eekkkk!)

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This afternoon I leave for CT and I'm really excited.  Tomorrow is my first baby shower so I'm excited to see friends as well as celebrate this pregnancy.  My friends in CT went through the thick of my infertility- my fibroid/endo surgery, the unsuccessful IUIs, and all of the other crappy months that we couldn't get pregnant, so celebrate we will!  CP doesn't get in from LA until tonight so he will be meeting me out there tomorrow.  The shower is going to be a Jack & Jill shower so men are welcome which should be interesting.  And since I know my friends in CT, I also know that there is going to be plenty of alcohol (with lots of water for me of course). Either way it should be fun!!

Labor day weekend

How is it already Thursday?  I'm not complaining because that means that tomorrow is Friday and I work from home, but still.  I didn't mean to disappear for more than a week, but things have been crazy!

Last Thursday CP and I packed up the car and headed out to a cabin rental at Silver Lake, MI (think central western MI) to join two other couples and their kids.  We didn't know anything about the area but Silver Lake is right off of Lake Michigan and has some really cool dunes.  There was a whole dune buggy culture that we were not expecting, but the cabin was cheap and the water was a great temperature.

Last year this same vacation (well, same friends, different location) had me worried because here we were infertile and trying to hang out with two couples that each had two children. This year, being pregnant made the trip so much easier.  Well, I was a little more exhausted than the other adults and I couldn't drink with them, but I wasn't feeling too awkward being the childless couple because at least there is a good chance that I will have my own child this year. 

There were three 23-monthers and a 3.5 year old.  It was hectic at times but the kids were pretty good for the most part.  While CP and the couples drank, I had no craving what-so-ever for alcohol, but it was weird to be the ONLY sober adult there.  I'm much more of a stick in the mud when I am sober....but I was not envying the hangovers that everyone had!  We had a good time at the beach, on a boat, at a petting farm, etc.  Most likely due to lack to sleep, too much sun the day before, and overall exhaustion, I became moody on Sunday afternoon and skipped out on the beach trip with everyone and instead stayed in the cabin watching "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix on my phone.  Have you guys checked out this show?  It's awesome.  By the time everyone got home I was in a better mood and ready to be social again.

Overall the weekend was great, but I was a bit annoyed when we got home.  Before we left for the trip, we decided that each couple would take a night and make dinner and then the final night we would go out with the kids.  Everyone went to the store to grab booze and food at some point.  CP and I figured that the only thing that we needed to split at the end of the trip was the boat rental.  But no.  Each couple had to submit their tally of how much they spent for the long weekend.  This included the boat (fine),  booze (of which I had none) and food for the kids (of which we have none).  Then we split it three ways.  How is that fair?  To be honest, we probably would have just said that it was fine to split it three ways if one of our friends had said, "oh should CP and NSC pay less because NSC didn't drink and they don't have kids?"  But no one brought that up.  And it's not like this is the first time.  A few weeks ago we spent the weekend with one of the couples- both times we went out to a restaurant we ended up splitting the bill, despite the fact that I didn't drink any alcohol and we don't have any kids.  I don't know if our friends are just not thinking about it, but it's annoying.  I decided not to say anything (although maybe I should have because clearly I am ranting about it) because in the end, it's not worth it, but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Despite that, it was a nice long weekend away from work.  We sailed through the city without traffic on Monday (amazing!) and picked up the dogs from the kennel.  5am on Tuesday morning I woke up to a collar shaking from downstairs and the smell immediately hit my nose.  One of the dogs had pooped downstairs (not a common occurrence).  I jumped out of bed, threw my glasses on, and went to find the culprit.  I immediately figured out that it was Buster due to his guilty face, but I also recognized that it was explosive diarrhea.  Here is where the story may become a bit TMI.  It was ALL OVER the first floor of our house.  I called for CP and took Buster out so that he could finish the job outside.  CP and I then spent the next THREE HOURS bathing Buster (thank goodness for our motion detector lights on the garage because it was still dark out), wiping down the couch, stereo, a plant, walls, kitchen cabinets, and steam cleaning the carpets.  He really made his mark all over the house.  *shudder*  I ended up staying home with him on Tuesday to continue cleaning and make sure that he wasn't going to have another episode.  Thankfully it seems to have been a one time occurrence and his stomach has righted itself on his new diet of boiled rice and boiled chicken.  Oh man it was awful.  But I guess we are ready for kids?  

So yeah, no way to really end this post on a high note other than I have 5 more days until I officially hit the third trimester of this pregnancy!!  And NFL football starts tonight- WOO HOO!

Ups and Downs

It was a tough weekend full of ups and downs.

Up- After work on Friday I braved Chicago traffic and headed up to MI for the night to see a good friend from college.  Her parents live only 20 minutes away from my parent's house in MI so it was great to see her- even if it was only for the night.  

Down- Right before I got to my parent's house in MI a deer with a death wish jumped in front of my car.  I looked in my rearview mirror for one second and it just appeared!  I didn't even have time to hit the brakes.  Luckily it was running fast enough across the road (and I was only going 34 mph) that I think that I just clipped the back of it and it did no damage to the car.  I was totally stunned for a few minutes, but happy that both of us came out of that encounter okay (especially because I was driving the Prius and not the Escape).

Up- Buster came with me up to MI because his cousin, my sister's dog, was going to be up with my parents.  They always have a great time together and completely tire each other out so it was an easy decision.

Down- Just that we had to leave Saturday morning and couldn't stay the whole weekend!!

Up- Saturday night we had two birthday parties in the city- one for a friend that I haven't seen in a few years, the other for my sister.  It was nice to see old friends at both parties- and get some birthday cake!  Mmmmmm birthday cake.  :-)

Down- I stood too much at both parties in flip flops.  My ankles were huge by the end of the night- my feet were KILLING me and it made driving home hard (I was the designated driver of course).

Up- CP and I finally took the plunge and headed out to check out our first baby store on Sunday.  We picked Buy Buy Baby because even though it is not close as Babies R Us to our house, I have heard that they are better with returns and we knew that we needed help shopping (they have associates take you around the store to help you figure out what you need/want and why).  We didn't really intend to do too much- just to go over the items we needed to touch/see/feel/etc. and figure out the rest later.  Well....over three hours later we were mentally exhausted and my ankles/feet were killing me again!  The good news is that my next door neighbors gave us an awesome/expensive stroller (Peg Perego) AND a more durable stroller for gravel/hiking/etc. so we just have to buy the car seat and two car seat bases, thus saving us a pretty penny.  :-)

Down- All of that time spent at the store meant that we rushed through the rest of the day. Making and canning curry zucchini relish, planting beet and carrot seeds for (crossing fingers) a fall harvest, loads of laundry, house cleaning, picking veggies, etc.  

Up- Our garden is producing ridiculous amounts of veggies these days.  Between zucchini, summer squash, cucumbers, yellow wax beans, swiss chard, kale, mizuna, jalapenos, eggplant, and cayenne peppers our kitchen counter and the fridge is chock full of fresh veggies.  The baby is getting lots of tastes of different veggies these days through the amniotic fluid- hopefully it means that he/she will like veggies!!  Last night we had a salad with fresh veggies on top and also made swiss chard lasagna.  YUM!

Down- Our tomato plants are doing just okay.  They aren't very full and just aren't producing like normal.  I wonder if it is because it hasn't been hot enough this summer?  Tomatoes tend to thrive in the heat.....

THE WORST

Then to top things off, before I went to bed last night I was saying good night to the dogs (they both now sleep on the first floor).  I quickly laid down next to Koda and heard some labored breathing.  (I don't think that it anything bad, but it just got me thinking bad thoughts.)  I started bawling as I lay next to her because unfortunately she didn't get any better with the antibiotics and the Benadryl this weekend.  I talked to the vet this morning and he recommends a CT scan to see if she does have a bone tumor.  I called over to find out prices on the CT scan- the estimate is $1200-1300 and if they have to biopsy anything, that's another $1500.  *sigh*  There is a possibility that we could have a consult with the oncologist without a CT scan to figure out our options (if we have any), but that is something that CP and I have to discuss tonight.  Work has been hard so far today as I didn't sleep well last night and I can't stop thinking about her.....

By the way, thank you all for your supportive comments on my post from Friday.  It was nice to know that so many people were thinking about Koda!

Twins are exhausting

This past weekend CP and I headed up to my parents house in MI with our friends and their twin almost-2-year-olds.  Of course I knew that kids were exhausting, but twins- whew!  I know that there are a bunch of you out there that are currently carrying twins and I don't want to scare you, but WOW. 

The weekend made me very happy that I am carrying a singleton as I don't know how I would do it with CP's work travel.  When he leaves for his one to two week travel stints I'm sure I will be pulling my hair out with one kid and two dogs!  I know that if I had twins that would be all that I would know, but still.  Two kids that mimic everything the other one does.  Two kids that need to be changed, fed, put down for naps and bedtime, that need constant help and interaction. There are only so many hands at a time!  Maybe the fact that I am pregnant with diminished energy and swollen ankles meant that this weekend was tougher on me physically.  Who knows.

While we were picking 16 pounds of blueberries (yep!) my friend asked if we are going to have a second child.  Obviously I need the current one to come out okay first, but with two days left until viability (24 weeks), I am feeling pretty confident that we will have a take home baby. My answer was, I don't know.  We will see how things go with this baby.  It will also depend on when/if we feel ready for a second baby.  I would like to think that we would try naturally for a few months before jumping back to IVF but depending on my age at the time, maybe we just want to go straight for the frozen transfer of my one embryo currently hanging out in the clinic freezer (since it will be coming from an egg of a slightly younger woman).  A frozen transfer means less drugs and a smaller number of appointments at the clinic heading up into the transfer.   If that doesn't work or if we lose the embryo in the thaw, will we want to go through IVF again with an existing baby?  I don't have those answers just yet.  Honestly I just want to focus on the current baby and not think of the future.

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While we were tired from the twins and their endless energy, my parents had an exhausting weekend re-planting our front garden.  They can usually be found every weekend up in MI but because we were there with our friends, they asked if we wanted them to "fix" our front garden.  All summer long our front garden has looked pretty sad because we planted a bunch of perennials this spring, but most of them didn't take off like we thought they would (maybe next year).  And then the flowering perennials got trampled on by the windows and siding contractors.  So CP and I gave them carte blanche to fix up our front garden.

I don't even want to know how much they spent on all of the new plants and to be honest, I don't think we need as many boxwoods and evergreens as they planted, but in my opinion, the front garden looks amazing.  Maybe after they retire they could start a landscaping business?  :-)

BEFORE: Sad, trampled front garden

AFTER: Whoa!  More plants and mulch make a huge difference!

Final word is that my parents are amazing.