Vows

Last night CP and I were trying to work on our vows (nothing like leaving it to the last minute!). Here is his crack at them:


Non Sequitur Chica:

CP, I give you myself as your biatch
I promise to live in truth with you/
I promise some action once a week/
I promise to grow and to age with you, but not too old,
then you can trade in for a new woman, we'll call her the baby sitter
I give you my hand and my heart/
as a sanctuary of warmly baked deserts/ *
in times sorrow (as long as it ain’t the crazies) and joy,
in times of failure and triumph, assuming I still get paid
I pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
as I join my life to yours.


Isn’t he SPECIAL???? LOL.

Don't worry....we have a nicer draft in the works. :-)


*I mentioned to CP that "deserts" makes even less sense than desSerts, but he shrugged it off. The things I have to put up with for this boy.... ;-)

What would you do?

This weekend CP and I learned that yet ANOTHER one of his groomsmen will be having a baby. So two groomsman already have two kids and the other two groomsman will have babies at some point in the next six months. This latest pregnancy? Well, the couple got engaged in May and were planning on a May 2010 wedding in New Orleans. Now? They have moved the wedding up to January 2010. She is going to be 7 months pregnant at that point so it might be hard for her to find a dress!

Before we got word of the wedding date move but after we received news of the pregnancy, I remarked to CP that moving the wedding is probably what they would do. He shrugged off my prediction, saying that they were already engaged so why move the wedding date? I said that although we are not religious, I feel that people should be married before having kids. I’m not quite sure where that conservative thought comes from….but I can’t get past it. If my birth control would have failed at some point this past year, I truly think that I would have lobbied to move up the wedding date…or get married at a courthouse as soon as we found out.

What would you do if that happened to you? Do you have the same feelings about people getting pregnant before marriage?

COMMENCE FREAK OUT in 4...3...2...1

Oh. My. God. My mom just called and said that my dad has SHINGLES. Commence freaking out. Not only am I worried about my dad as he is going to be in pain for the next two to three weeks (he had them before), but I was reading online that if his blisters are oozing (EWWWW) this weekend, he should stay away from pregnant ladies. According to a couple of online sites, if the mother has had chickenpox, then she is immune, along with the unborn baby. So in order for this to really be a problem, the expecting mother would never have gotten chicken pox AND they would have to touch the oozing blisters (ewwww). We are going to have at least FOUR pregnant ladies at the wedding this weekend (two are groomsmen’s wives, one is a bridesmaid = closer contact with my parents than regular guests)……and I hope that they don’t freak out.

This? Not what I need right now.

Randoms

By now you guys know that various National Parks around the country are near and dear to my heart. So did you watch the National Parks: America’s Best Idea special on PBS yesterday? Mine is stuck on my DVR because I was busy with wedding stuff, but the rest of the 16-hour documentary airs all this week, finishing Friday.

I would strongly urge you to check it out- maybe it will inspire you to visit a National Park next year! :-)

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I’m not sure where all of this luck is coming from, but right on the heels of winning this lady’s GAP contest, I just found out that I won this lady’s BlogHer swag contest!!! Nilsa called it “good wedding karma.” I’m pretty sure that all of you guys already read both of these great blogs, but if you don’t, you are missing out!!

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For those of you who are stuck with the same number on the scale….I just want to tell you to keep up your hard work! At my weigh in last week, I think that my interval running and possibly the low-carb diet finally helped me to lose FIVE pounds (in two weeks). YAY! Now if I can just lose a few more in the next few days, I will be super excited!

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Not sure if you guys have noticed, but I am behind on my commenting- I apologize. I do read ALL of your posts on your various blogs, but can’t really do it at work too much, so that leaves reading the blogs on my Blackberry on the commuter bus ride to my car. And because commenting from a mobile device is seriously annoying, I end up marking the post as “unread” and hopefully get back to it that night. Well, my laptop battery charger died, so that means I have to either borrow CP’s laptop or use our desktop and I’ll be honest, with all of this wedding stuff going on, I am NOT wanting to get on my computer at night. So please know that I am still keeping up with your lives and will probably comment on 5 different posts all at once when I finally get some time. :-)

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One more thing on this random Monday posting…..when are you supposed to get nervous/ uber excited for your wedding? I mean, I’m excited but it still hasn’t hit me that I am getting married on Saturday! Is that normal? When is it truly going to hit me???

Damn allergies!

I have a secret. I saw CP cry. Like, for reals.

CP ordered Marley and Me from Blockbuster, and before the movie even started I said, “I don’t want to watch this because I know that I am going to cry.” But CP put it in anyway.

I don’t think that I am giving anything away by telling you guys that even though the movie wasn’t that good, I bawled my eyes out. It didn’t matter that I knew what was coming. To my surprise, when I looked over at CP? His allergies were acting up too! We finished off the box of Kleenex in our living room and I had to go to the bathroom for toilet paper reinforcements.

I was amazed to see the impenetrable wall of CP break down. He even said that he is worried about Fuzzy Britches getting old (as am I). FB will be six in January and for a big dog? That’s getting up there in years. We would hope to have another two to four years or so with her? Right now she is still like a puppy as Bernese Mtn Dogs don’t really ever lose their goofiness….it’s part of their charm. So it’s hard to think of a day where she will slow down, walk slower, etc. Especially because she is FINALLY at her goal weight.

I don’t want to think about a future without FB, so I will enjoy however long we have with her. I won’t lie, losing her is going to be tough. If I cry over a dog in the movies, believe me I will be heartbroken over the loss of FB. It took me a few years to get over the loss of our black lab Toby who we had since I was in eighth grade.

But for now, I celebrate our awesome dog that is MUCH more well-behaved than Marley.


Check out her new whiskey barrel for the wedding (sorry about the crazy eyes- it’s from the flash on my Blackberry)! We aren’t sure if we are going to be able to break it out during the reception due to NH liquor laws, but maybe at the after party? We are thinking that rum would be the best spirit to put in it as everyone likes rum…. :-)

My new love

Right here, right now, I want to proclaim my love of glue lines. No, I am not getting paid for this post. But if you have a project in which you thought you might use regular old-school-sniffing glue? Think again (unless you are into killing off brain cells…..in which case you are probably not needing the glue for a project anyway).

These babies are the BOMB diggity! Easy to use, no messy clean up and they don’t smear.



Check out one of our half-finished table cards:

All I have to do is use the glue lines to stick brown card stock on the back and then they will be complete!*


*If you haven’t figured it out, our tables are named after tree leaves. CP ordered real dried/pressed leaves from some company off the internet. We have 15 tables of all different types of leaves that I printed the various names onto the cream cardstock, used the glue lines to stick the leaves to the cardstock, and then will be attaching the brown cardstock on the back!

Put the water down!

I feel like everywhere I go I see pregnant women. It’s not making my uterus cry or anything- don’t worry as I don’t think THAT will ever happen to me, but it’s been something that I have noticed recently.

At work? A co-worker is five months pregnant (by her ten-years older boyfriend who has FOUR kids with FOUR other mothers. Awesome.). This is the same person that said that she heard that drinking wine watered down with water is okay when you are pregnant. I’m seriously hoping that she is not having multiple glasses of that gross-sounding concoction.

One of my bridesmaids? Is about eight weeks pregnant and won’t feel comfortable telling people by the time the wedding rolls around because she is 33 and won’t be at 12 weeks yet. I have advised her that she should drink cranberry and “vodkas” all night long.

A groomsmen’s wife is pregnant and due before the end of the year.

Two couples won’t be attending our wedding because one could have the baby at any minute and the other will be giving birth in about three weeks or so (so no flying).

Not to mention my good friend from DC that is about three months along.

Is there something in the water that I should know about? In the meantime, I’m going to go pop some more birth control...

Stuck

For the past month, I have been stuck at the same weight, unable to see a lower number in the middle column. It has been pretty frustrating because I have been working my butt off. Going to the gym during lunch and either running, using the elliptical, or doing weights. If I run or do the elliptical I have been throwing in intervals to try to mix things up. At least twice a week I also go home and want to kick Jillian Michaels during certain sections of No More Trouble Zones.* In addition, I have continued to eat the same stuff. But the scale hasn’t budged.

My solution with less than two weeks to the wedding? Low-carb diet. Yes, I know that it might not the best thing as supposedly it can lead to headaches and general crankiness from the lack of sugar, but as long as I stay within my WW points and continue to work out? Maybe it will shake up my body a bit and I can drop 5-10 lbs before the wedding. That’s what I am hoping at least….

Here’s hoping I can stay on track. Less than 20 grams of carbs a day is really low- and I had to cut out all of the fruit I had been eating. Booo! Bring on the eggs, salad and lean meats!

Has anyone does this diet before? Any tips/ suggestions?

*AND, I’m using 5 lb weights instead of the 3 lb she recommends.

Big bazoongas

Last night was frustrating. My goal at the mall after work? To find my current minimizer bra in a white color (I only have beige or black) so that if it showed under my wedding dress that it wouldn’t be a big deal. No such luck. While I was there, I figured I would hit up the lingerie section to maybe find something for the honeymoon.

When I hit up Victoria’s Secret, I was sad to find lingerie only in single cup sizes. As in 34B, 36D, etc. So essentially they don’t cater at all to people with big boobs. Just another reason to not buy bras there. I asked an employee if they have any DD sizes thinking maybe I could squeeze my 36DDD puppies into one and she said no, but that the negligee might run big. Riiiiiight. I decided to try it on anyway and here is where I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. I’m not sure how many of you out there can relate, but trying to push, mash and manipulate your not-so-perky-boobs into a cup size two sizes too small? Is ridonkulous. And when you look in the mirror? You look like an a**hat. Boobs pushed out the side of the cup, the cup barely covering your nipple (if that)- and that’s if you are able to get the underwire fully under your boobs. I then ran into the same problem at Macy’s where their selection of items with underwire or stiff cups was lacking.

By the end of my shopping excursion I was frustrated and pissed off. Where do people with big boobs shop for lingerie? I can’t wear anything that doesn’t have underwire or stiff cups because otherwise I just look like someone on the cover of National Geographic….or a 60-year-old woman. I should be able to shop at regular stores because I am not plus size everywhere else. I know that there are others out there like me that don’t have boob jobs and need some support!

PSA

Public Service Announcement: Do not wait 8 years between dentist visits!

I will explain. Fairly soon after meeting CP, I didn’t have dental insurance, but found a place that would clean my teeth for a small amount while I was poor in law school. Soon after my appointment, CP mentioned that he hadn’t been to the dentist in four years. Soon after we got engaged, I made CP promise that he would go to the dentist. I said that I didn’t want a husband that would lose his teeth and have to wear dentures in 10 years.

I reminded him for MONTHS to find a dentist in the area and make an appointment. He finally broke down and said that I should make the appointment, otherwise it might not get done. His insurance doesn’t really cover dentist visits, so I found a local place and set up an appointment. He went last week and although they kept saying that his teeth looked pretty good for not having had a dentist visit in 8 years, they did say that he had to come back for TWO MORE appointments this week. Not only are they going to clean his teeth some more (I guess he started bleeding a lot the first visit), but he has a couple of cavities that they have to fill. I want to feel sorry for the guy, but I have been telling him to go to the dentist for FOUR YEARS.

Boys.

The lesson? GO TO THE DENTIST. Even if you can’t go twice a year, going once a year is better than never!!

Whirlwind day

I might be a sporadic poster from now until the wedding….I’m busier at work these days and I find that my brain is pretty fried when I try to write anything. Yesterday was a mind-numbing wedding day. After getting back from my friend’s wedding in Savannah on Sunday night, still hungover, CP and I had to wake up early to get shots. Yes, that’s just what someone wants before breakfast. Typhoid, Hepatitis A and Tetanus (with Whooping Cough). You guys have already heard the story about my last tetanus shot....I’m fairly certain that Argentina wasn’t doling out the special shot that included Whooping Cough, so I decided to get it yesterday because I guess that you are supposed to get it before you get pregnant? Not that we are trying soon, but we figured while we were there….

Anyway, for the rest of the day, CP and I whined about the soreness in our shoulders from the shots. They actually still hurt right now. :-( I was hoping to work out today, but I’m lethargic and sore and that does not put me in the workout frame of mind!

So although there isn’t a specific threat of these diseases in South Africa and Mozambique, the doctor wanted us to be protected in case something comes up. That way we don’t have to go to a hospital that puts their instruments in a tackle box (see story above) if something happens!

After that we applied and received our marriage license. A quick lunch and then meetings with our florist, photographer and DJ. Whew. They were the last of our vendor meetings and although we were dead tired by the end of the 13 hour day, it was good to get all of the them settled.

CP and I still have some major things to get done (seating chart, printing of the programs, writing our vows, putting together the favors, making the table numbers, etc.), but we have nothing planned the next two weekends so wedding stuff is our top priority! Considering we have less than three weeks now, it better be!!

No-drinking train- hop on!

Tomorrow will be my last day of drinking before the rehearsal dinner. Yes that’s correct I am staying away from all types of liquor until our wedding weekend. I’m not a heavy drinker these days anyway since CP and I don’t have any bars to frequent, but on the weekends we will typically have a bottle of wine or two. However, now that football season has started (EAGLES!!!!!!!), not drinking beer on Sundays while watching the games is going to be tough!

I made this decision for one reason, and only one reason. My workouts have been going SO well and although I am not going to be at my goal weight by the wedding, I don’t want to ingest empty calories if I don’t have to. So tomorrow is a very good college friend’s wedding in GA. If I didn’t drink there everyone would think that I was pregnant (not to mention it’s just weird to not drink at a wedding)! Come Sunday though, I’m on the no-drinking train for a couple of weeks.

CP thinks that I am going to be drunk after the first sip of wine at our rehearsal dinner, but I think that three weeks isn’t THAT long to go without alcohol! Hopefully between eating healthy, working out a lot (running/ other cardio and No More Trouble Zones), and no alcohol I can drop a few more pounds before the wedding (or just get a bit more toned)! Wish me luck!

How the year has flown by...

Oh how the past year has flown by. My post last September 10th was a plea to CP to propose because it had been four months since we looked at rings…..to that night at dinner where he totally surprised me by doing just that!!!

We haven't planned anything special tonight…..CP didn’t even remember that it had been a year since he had proposed. Silly boys that forget important dates! :-) He did say that he thought it was right around this time….

It has been a crazy year of being engaged….and having to call CP my fiancé will end soon enough (23 days!). Soon I will be Mrs. Non Sequitur Chica and my awesome last name will be gone. *tear* It sounds silly to be attached to a last name, but I have had it for 30 years. Most of my nicknames revolve around it. It has been hard enough to transition into my formal first name at work (as opposed to my informal nickname), how the heck am I going to transition into a totally different last name?

However, as much as I like my last name, I think that it’s important to take his. I don’t want to confuse people by thinking that we are not married because we have two different last names. I don’t want to hyphenate because that makes filling out forms annoying. I don’t want to have to think about what name our kids will use if we end up having any. I will just have to learn a new signature and a new name. It might take a while, but to me, it’s worth it. I know that CP appreciates the fact that I will be taking his name.

In order to keep my last name somewhere in my official name, I am thinking about just adding CP’s last name to mine. So that I would have 4 words in my official name. Current first name + current middle name + current last name + CP’s last name. Will that be annoying too? How does that work when you have to put your middle initial on a form? As in, which one do you use?

If you are married, what did you do with your now-husband’s last name? If you are engaged/ single, what do you think you will do when it comes time to head down to the Social Security office?

Crappy timing

Last week we received bad news. As in, our renters out west are moving out of CP's condo as of September 30th. It's probably the worst timing EVER. Not only do we not have any time to fly out to make sure the place looks okay after they move out, but we don't have time to find new renters either. It's this little thing called OUR WEDDING. Gah.

We can survive without the rent check coming in every month, but it is going to be really tight. I am scheduled for another promotion, but the money won't start coming in until at least January and knowing my company, it will get delayed. Not to mention the fact that we haven't finished paying for some wedding-related things and the rest of the honeymoon payment just got put onto CP's credit card. *sigh*

So we have decided to put the place up for sale and see if we can get anyone to bite. Of course, we are going to be in Africa when this all goes down, so I think that we are going to have to give power of attorney rights to CP's sister if an offer comes through. It's just all so complicated. And not what we wanted to deal with right now.

I'm mean

So last night I made an edible Weight Watcher recipe- Curry Pasta Primavera. My goal after this weekend was to come home and make a dish with pasta because one of my presents this weekend was penis pasta from my sister. I thought that it would be HILARIOUS to serve it to CP and see if he noticed.

After I brought dinner out, I told him that there was a "special WW ingredient" in the dinner. He really wasn't paying much attention as the Red Sox game was going on, but I gave him a hint by saying that I couldn't bring this dish into work. He then noticed the shape of the pasta and let out a groan. To his credit, he kept eating the dish ("well, I'm hungry") and even said that he would eat the leftovers tonight.

I did promise that next time I made funny-shaped pasta it would be in the shape of boobs. :-)

Jealousy

You know how I had my freak out last week after CP came home from his bachelor party? Well, I was checking out my pictures from the bachelorette party, and there is one on my camera from Saturday night of me and some random dude holding up a shot. Not suggestive/ inappropriate in the least bit. CP happened to be looking over and tried to be all casual-sounding, but was like "who is THAT guy?" I wanted to say back....uhhh you had a lap dance and you are upset about a random guy at the bar buying me a shot and then taking a picture with me??

I guess that the moral of the story is that we both don't share (each other) well. Good thing we aren't swingers! ;-)

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In other news, it is exactly ONE MONTH until our wedding. I woke up with a start in the middle of the night from some nightmare and was convinced that CP was cheating on me. WTF? I seriously can't wait for this wedding to get here so that my brain will stop playing tricks on me.

Bachelorette weekend synopsis

The quick synopsis of the bachelorette party this weekend (b/c otherwise this post could go on FOREVER):

Thursday
Michael Franti & Spearhead/ G Love concert. Cold. Rainy. But still fun. Found out my friend that I had all of the pregnancy discussions with is pregnant!

Friday
J made me go for a run that morning and I thought that I was going to vomit from all of the wine we had the night before. Cubs win against the Mets! More drinking at game and then at a nearby bar. Dinner at a yummy tapas restaurant and sangria. Drag show with my MOM. We made her tip one of the “women” which was hilarious. My mom leaves (after leaving us with a hilarious quote- “you guys must play with the penis tonight”- in reference to the penis shot glass one of my friends had me wear) and the rest of us head to the bar. * At the bar, we decided that my mom's line was so funny that we would text it to at least one friend to find out their reaction. One of my sister's guy friends? "Moms do know best." :-)

Saturday
Pedicures, then lunch at the best deep dish pizza place ever. A little bit of shopping and then pre-partying in our hotel room. I didn't eat enough dinner (basically just some cheese and crackers) so I was pretty drunk. We then headed over to a bar for a cover band. Band had all of the bachelorettes get up on stage fairly early on in the night. I told the lead singer to "suck it" (Whaaaat??? It's what the back of her t-shirt said). She then had me say it again into the mic for the whole crowd. :-) Drinking, shots, dancing, etc. all night long. Two of my friends hook up with the same dude who looks like James Mardsen (actor). We then go to Wiener Circle for late night food and to see a chocolate milkshake.** Afterwards, I guess that I jokingly grabbed my boobs and said “I know where you can get a vanilla milkshake!”*** Vomit after getting back to hotel.

Today is the first day that I have somewhat of a voice since Friday. 30 years old is too old for three straight days of drinking. Out of 100s of photos taken of that weekend, so far 15 or so have gone up on Facebook. I had too much of the usual bachelorette “attire” on (i.e. penis shot glass, veil with flashing penises, penis whistle, penis straws, etc.). But that’s a sign of a good party, right?


*This comment is TOTALLY out of character for my mom. She is a conservative-dressing attorney who didn't take a shot until age 50, hadn't gambled until age 45, and has certainly never been to a male strip club. Surprisingly enough, she HAD been to a drag show back in the 70s.

**Chocolate milkshake= the large black woman behind the counter lifting up her shirt and either not wearing a bra on or lifting up her bra at the same time and then shaking her boobs. Although I don’t remember half of the night, that image will be burned in my brain for all of eternity.

***Yeah, I totally don’t remember saying this.

Number of times “penis” was used in this post: 6
Number of times “boobs” was used in this post: 2

Still alive

I am still alive after my bachelorette weekend. I had a fantastic time with some of my favorite ladies. My voice though? Shot. STILL. I guess three straight days of drinking at age 30 is not a good thing??? ;-)

I get married next month and here's hoping it comes back....and SOON!

More on the weekend tomorrow....