Bachelorette weekend synopsis

The quick synopsis of the bachelorette party this weekend (b/c otherwise this post could go on FOREVER):

Thursday
Michael Franti & Spearhead/ G Love concert. Cold. Rainy. But still fun. Found out my friend that I had all of the pregnancy discussions with is pregnant!

Friday
J made me go for a run that morning and I thought that I was going to vomit from all of the wine we had the night before. Cubs win against the Mets! More drinking at game and then at a nearby bar. Dinner at a yummy tapas restaurant and sangria. Drag show with my MOM. We made her tip one of the “women” which was hilarious. My mom leaves (after leaving us with a hilarious quote- “you guys must play with the penis tonight”- in reference to the penis shot glass one of my friends had me wear) and the rest of us head to the bar. * At the bar, we decided that my mom's line was so funny that we would text it to at least one friend to find out their reaction. One of my sister's guy friends? "Moms do know best." :-)

Saturday
Pedicures, then lunch at the best deep dish pizza place ever. A little bit of shopping and then pre-partying in our hotel room. I didn't eat enough dinner (basically just some cheese and crackers) so I was pretty drunk. We then headed over to a bar for a cover band. Band had all of the bachelorettes get up on stage fairly early on in the night. I told the lead singer to "suck it" (Whaaaat??? It's what the back of her t-shirt said). She then had me say it again into the mic for the whole crowd. :-) Drinking, shots, dancing, etc. all night long. Two of my friends hook up with the same dude who looks like James Mardsen (actor). We then go to Wiener Circle for late night food and to see a chocolate milkshake.** Afterwards, I guess that I jokingly grabbed my boobs and said “I know where you can get a vanilla milkshake!”*** Vomit after getting back to hotel.

Today is the first day that I have somewhat of a voice since Friday. 30 years old is too old for three straight days of drinking. Out of 100s of photos taken of that weekend, so far 15 or so have gone up on Facebook. I had too much of the usual bachelorette “attire” on (i.e. penis shot glass, veil with flashing penises, penis whistle, penis straws, etc.). But that’s a sign of a good party, right?


*This comment is TOTALLY out of character for my mom. She is a conservative-dressing attorney who didn't take a shot until age 50, hadn't gambled until age 45, and has certainly never been to a male strip club. Surprisingly enough, she HAD been to a drag show back in the 70s.

**Chocolate milkshake= the large black woman behind the counter lifting up her shirt and either not wearing a bra on or lifting up her bra at the same time and then shaking her boobs. Although I don’t remember half of the night, that image will be burned in my brain for all of eternity.

***Yeah, I totally don’t remember saying this.

Number of times “penis” was used in this post: 6
Number of times “boobs” was used in this post: 2