Local 5K

A few weeks ago I decided to sign up for a local 5K just for the hell of it. I have been running all summer now and while I would rather spend the money to run a 5 miler or 8K race these days, I went for it because it had been a while since I had run a race.

Going into it, I had no idea how I would run. I have slowly been getting faster since I started back running in May, but not by that much. 

In May I ran 5 times and averaged 12:52/mile for 12.84 miles.

In June I ran 11 times and averaged 12:39/mile for 26.11 miles.

In July I ran 12 times and averaged 12:19/mile for 27.79 miles.

So far in August I have run 11 times and averaged 11:53/mile for 28.68 miles.

Mid-month I was able to complete a two mile run at a 11:03/mile pace which had me pretty excited that I almost ran under an 11 minute mile. All this to say....I'm still pretty f*cking slow. So I didn't have high hopes for the day since the last time I ran a 5k distance it was at a 12:29/mile pace and that was just earlier this month.

Spoiler alert- I did much better than I thought I would! I had some nervous energy (as I always do) so I started off faster than I should have. I ran the first mile in 10:15 which according to Nike+ is the fastest 1 mile I have ever run while using the app (first run was on May 19, 2008 with the app!!). Of course as soon as I heard the app tell me that, I was then worried about the next 2.1 miles.... I stopped at every water station and every .5 mile I took a brief walk. My next mile was 11:06 and my final 1.1 miles were finished in 10:54. I even had enough in the tank to sprint the final .08 or so when a woman tried to come up beside me.

Final chip time- 33:18

Overall finish- 157/341

Gender finish- 50/166

Age group finish- 11/26

Average pace- 10:42/mile

YAY ME!

I'm pretty excited about that somewhat-respectable average pace. I know that I am never going to get down to the crazy people that run 8 minute miles but maybe if I work hard enough (and lose some weight) I can start running in the 9s? And of course this had me more excited to run the upcoming 5k with my co-workers next month. I'm so weird and so competitive for no reason. My boss and a friend of mine at work are both runners and for pride reasons, I need to run a respectable time, even though they are much faster than me. I know that long distance running is NOT something I excel at...my body is made for power and sprinting. But I do feel as a former Division 1 athlete in two sports that I need to do at least an okay job to "prove" that I am still a good athlete. This probably doesn't make any sense to anyone else but me, but I do put pressure on myself when doing anything athletic that I am not allowed to look like a dope. I'm weird.

Anyway, now that I know I can run a bit faster, hopefully I can do more of that in my training runs so that I can run even faster next month!

Buster update

CP and I continue to do research on what (if anything) we can do to make Buster's life a little better for the time we have left with him. 

• We are going to continue to give him a nerve blocker pain medication just in case he is having some pain because I don't want him hurting and the medication is safe for long term use. 
• The steroid treatment isn't doing anything so we are slowly starting to wean him off.
• Buster never got a lot of people food except when the kids threw food on the floor but these days, that rule is out the window (he is pretty happy about this change).
• After checking out blogs and websites on DM, a lot of owners get their dogs boots. I asked the vet about it and he said that they are a good idea for walks so that Buster stays active, but doesn't come back with bloody paws from scraping his paws on the sidewalk/pavement. I try to keep Buster on the grass as much as possible, but we do have to cross streets and driveways on our walks so this should help. The boots arrived yesterday and Izzy and I took Buster for a walk last night to see how he tolerated them. Previously he would have tried to get them off his feet, but did just fine (maybe he can't really feel them?).

Buster in his boots

I was worried that not eating was a symptom of DM because Buster wasn't finishing his meals for a few days, but after calling the vet he said that Buster likely had an upset stomach from the steroids. Thankfully Buster is eating again and that shouldn't be an issue that we have to deal with.

I also reached out to Buster's breeder to let her know that he has DM since it is hereditary and his litter mates might have it as well. She let me know that Buster's father tested negative for the general DM marker before she bred him, but when a Bernese Mountain Dog-specific DM marker test became available (only a few years ago), the father did test positive for that. She never got the mother tested because by the time the new test came out, she was spayed (but she obviously has it). :-(

CP and I did have a hard conversation last night about when we would feel it was necessary to put Buster down. Right now he is acting like himself again mood-wise; it is just the physical symptoms that are present. From what I have been reading, generally about 6 months after diagnosis a dog is no longer able to walk. I think that this would be our breaking point because there are days where we leave Buster at home by himself while we are at work. If he can't stand up and walk to drink some water or change positions, that's not fair and not a good quality of life. The other breaking point would be when Buster becomes incontinent. *sigh*

Have any of you dealt with the loss of a pet? Izzy is not super close with Buster, but we are worried about how she is going to react when we do have to put him down.

Can't stop crying

This weekend was tough. Friday night after Buster got home from the vet and his MRI he couldn't sleep. They said that he was resting comfortably after the procedure and he would likely sleep the rest of the night, but it was the opposite. We fed him half of his normal dinner as per the vet's instructions and then when he kept it down, tried feeding the rest 30 minutes later (he wouldn't eat it). CP and I went to bed but couldn't sleep because Buster couldn't settle down. He wouldn't lay down and kept panting and whining. CP eventually took him downstairs to sleep on the couch and Buster at some point did pass out. The next morning I ended up bringing Buster to the emergency vet because we were worried that he had bloat. Thankfully he didn't, but he did get an anti-nausea shot which seemed to make him feel better and he finally started eating again. The rest of the weekend and even Monday, Buster was not himself. He wasn't asking for petting. He just laid down in the house like a lump. I'm not sure if he was just exhausted from all of the tests and vets or if he was depressed. Thankfully yesterday he seemed to perk up a bit more and act like himself.

Meanwhile, the test results on Buster's spinal fluid are in and the results are clear. This means that he does not have an auto immune disease that we could potentially try to fight with drugs or anti-inflammatories. We had the option to do a blood test to see if Buster has specific genetic markers which are consistent with having degenerative myelopathy, but decided not to. Whether he has the markers or not, it doesn't change the treatment plan for Buster.

Right now he is on a steroid for the next 18 days to see if it helps. If he has DM then the steroids won't help at all as it is a last ditch effort. If they do help then he doesn't have DM and we can search out other ways to figure out what is wrong with him. The neurologist vet is pretty sure that it is DM because Buster has all of the classic signs and issues....the only abnormal thing is his age (6.5 years old). DM is usually a disease that happens in older dogs (at least 8 or 10 years old), so for it to present this early in a dog's life is rare.

I started crying during the conversation with the vet after asking how long we may have left with Buster. He said that generally about a year after you start to notice signs, the dog loses the ability to walk and control urine and bowel movements. Trying to get some sort of wheels or cart for Buster is not an option because although his issues are worse in his hind legs, the vet already noticed issues with his front legs as well. As soon as you put a dog in a cart, you put extra strain on the shoulders and front paws and with Buster's size, that is not an option. 

I started to see a difference in Buster by at least January of this year because I took him in to the vet in February (when we found out that he had two partially torn ACLs). So we may only have a few more months with Buster which is legitimately hurting my heart right now. For those of you that haven't been around these parts as long as Buster has been in our lives, CP and I decided to get a second Bernese Mountain Dog as a present to each other on our first anniversary. We  pushed off getting a puppy until the following spring due to some bills and by then we were almost a year into trying to get pregnant and starting to get some bad news about our fertility. Buster, especially when he was a puppy, was a great distraction from all of the bad news that we were getting, so he was able to fill the infertility hole in our lives until I was able to get pregnant. I'm sure my mental state would have been worse had we not brought him home around that time, so his presence has been so helpful in our lives.

We didn't know how long we had left with Koda when she started to show signs of a bone tumor....turns out it was only 5 months later that we had to put her down only a week before she would have turned 10. I do think that with Koda, we waited a bit too long and I don't want to make that same mistake with Buster. The one good thing about DM is that it is not painful for the dog, but I do think that CP and I are going to have to make a hard decision in the next couple of months as Buster and his abilities deteriorate.

It will be far too soon.

13 months old

1 year, 1 month old (13 months old)

Wes being silly

Height- not sure

Weight- 26+ lbs

Diapers- Size 4 diapers during the day, Size 4 nighttime diapers

Milestones- Wesley is walking! He took his first few steps on the 5th and has become more confident in his walking skills every day since then. If he isn't walking/cruising then he is bopping around on his knees. I finally saw Wes clap and wave this past week too- better late than never!

I like to push my stroller everywhere

I also like to hold onto my sister or my parents' pant legs for balance when standing

He has no problem going up steps but wants to go head first when going down steps which is an issue. I have to turn him around all the time and grab his legs to show him how to do it. Hopefully he will get it down soon.

Language- I have mostly given up on the sign language because by 13 mos he really should be doing it himself and he continues to refuse. I think he has his first word as he points at Buster or other dogs and says "dah" a lot (doesn't seem to use that with other things that he points at). Wes thinks that it is hilarious when I say "uh oh" after he drops something. He definitely knows what the words dog, Buster, Izzy, Daddy, Mommy, ball, banana, monkey, bird, eat, milk, car, and train.

Working on mastering the art of going up steps

Favorite Toy: Balls. What a typical boy. :-)

Favorite Book: Any touchy-feely book. He is obsessed with our "Dog" book because it is about dogs and because it has different textures on the pages that he can feel. He also likes the "That's Not My (insert animal)" because of the textures too. He is more patient when I am reading a book that has textures, otherwise he sometimes tries to turn the pages for me before I am done reading the page. Ha. But overall, he loves when I read to him and will sit and turn pages of books when sitting by himself.

Sleep- Wes is a great sleeper from about 7:30pm to 7 or 8am. He naps very well at home, but doesn't do as well at daycare. Some days he takes two naps, sometimes it is only one. I don't want to jinx it but putting him to bed is seriously easy. We brush his teeth, change his diaper, put him in a cotton sleep sack, read two or three board books, sing him two songs, and then put him in bed. He immediately will lay down and sometimes grabs his monkey to snuggle with. He may cry for 10 seconds after you leave, but after that, he is down.

Clothes- 18 month clothing and on some of the shirts, his belly hangs out a little.

"Helping" me unpack after moving back into our house. Ripping paper is fun!

Eating- No more formula in our house- yay! I was worried about the transition to a sippy cup because it was such an issue with Izzy and Wes simply didn't seem to get the concept of a sippy cup. But one weekend after trying to push it at home and at school, Wes was suddenly a pro! He gets milk when he wakes up in the morning and with all meals, otherwise he drinks water.

Wes continues to be a good eater. He still mostly eats whatever we put in front of him. When he really likes something he will kick his legs in his high chair and smack his lips together.

I really enjoyed eating some of mommy's ice cream

Teeth- Wes has a lot of his teeth including two molars (one on each side). He looks like he is going to start cutting his bottom canines soon as well.

Illness- Poor buddy had a string of issues but seems to be getting better. He did have a viral rash and some weird bug bites, but has been healthier recently.

Misc- As of now, Wes is a mama's boy. He clearly prefers me over CP and although I can hand him over to CP for a minute or two. If I am still in the room, Wes will quickly ask to be back in my arms. As soon as I put him on my hip, he quickly rests his head on my shoulder to snuggle which is adorable.

He LOVES petting Buster (it's more of a tap) and has clearly learned the meaning of gentle (i.e. no pulling Buster's fur anymore).

Watching the ducks and the fish at the Botanic Gardens.

When we drop Wes off at daycare Izzy has recently wanted to give him a hug before we head over to her room. He always gives her a big smile when they hug. Whenever he is upset she can get him smiling pretty quickly (unless it is due to her taking away one of his toys and being unwilling to give it back).

He loves splashing around in baths and cries when we take him out. He also loves looking and pointing at animals- birds, bunnies, squirrels, cats, ducks, etc. As a typical boy, he is also fascinated with trains and trucks.

MRI= no answers

Today was Buster's MRI. He wasn't allowed to drink or eat anything this morning which made him a bit hangry, but when we showed up at the vet, he started to shake out of anxiety/fear. Poor buddy. He went in for a two hour MRI (sleeping of course) and unfortunately, we have no answers. 

There is no cancer or tumor on his spine that would account for changing his peeing stance and barely lifting up his tail. CP also reported that he had trouble pooping this morning and almost fell backwards.

There is no narrowing of his spinal column to account for him not picking up his back legs enough so that they drag.

There is a little evidence of disc-related issues in his spine but nothing too out of the ordinary and certainly not enough to account for the lack of control he has over his back legs.

All of these are good things of course, but now we are left with, okay but what is wrong with him? He was fine up until the very beginning of the year and we thought that his issue with going up stairs was because of his partially torn ACLs....now....who knows?

While Buster was under anesthesia, the vet took some fluid from his spinal column to get it tested since the MRI was inconclusive. Most often with dogs if there is something in their spinal fluid it points to an auto-immune disease. If that sample comes back normal then we will get him tested for a genetic abnormality that can be found in Berners. It usually doesn't show up until a dog is 8 years old (Buster is only 6.5 years old), but Buster seems to have all of the signs despite being a younger dog. Fingers crossed that it is not this abnormality (called Degenerative Myelopathy) because the outlook will not be good.

So now I don't know what to think and I don't know how to help Buster. This is a terrible feeling.

Mental capacity: zero

Right now I lack the mental capacity to write about something where I have to do much deep thinking, but I hope to soon. Until then, bullets.

*This weekend Wes took his first independent steps! The first time he did it he lurched towards CP...the second time was more controlled. We (of course) tried to have him do it again on video, but Wes refused, deciding to drop to his knees and shuffle towards us. LOL. He still is not confident of his steps as he holds onto our hand(s) with a death grip, so it will still be a while until he is walking on his own. It's at least a start.

Our new walker!

*The past two weeks living in our house with workmen has been interesting. The kids are sick of going out to dinner every night- we are as well. They really are fairly good kids when we go out to eat as Izzy will amuse herself with a coloring book and crayons and Wes will chug his milk while we wait for dinner, but he is starting to get sick of the magnatiles that we have in our diaper backpack. We have been eating at fast casual places to save money (Panera, Noodles & Company, etc) but I will be very excited when our appliances are delivered TODAY!!!

*The major work is almost complete. The stairs out to the driveway need to be installed, but all sinks, toilets, etc. are working and the electrician came earlier in the week to install face plates, the ceiling fan (even though it was not the correct one so he will have to come back when the other one arrives), etc. The paint guys are coming back to do some touch-ups today and hopefully our general contractor has the cleaning crew coming tomorrow so that we can start to unpack and use some of the rooms. I promise pictures soon!

*Poor CP might be doing a lot of the unpacking on Saturday without me as my mom planned a day in Chicago with me and Izzy. We will be going to see Madagascar in play form and then doing a few other things at Navy Pier like the large Ferris Wheel while we are there. It should be a lot of fun.

Yes it is HUGE

*Last weekend we had CP's dad and his wife come visit us; when they booked their tickets we all thought the house would be ready (thankfully they were staying in a nearby hotel)! It was a bit stressful of a weekend, eating out for all meals and generally not being able to have some down time at the house as we have no place to sit. But we managed to go to a local Art Fair to buy prints for the kids' rooms, go to a local fair so that Izzy could go on a few rides, and spend some time at the Botanic Gardens.

Izzy's second rollercoaster. I don't think she enjoys it at all

First time trying cotton candy

Feeding the ducks at the Botanic Gardens

Enjoying the butterfly pavilion

The largest, coolest butterfly we saw- the Atlas butterfly. Beautiful!

*Izzy has finally learned how to pump her legs while on a swing, making it less annoying to take her to the park. LOL. You do have to push her to get her going, but she is able to sustain the swing with her legs which is a good thing!

*Izzy has decided what she wants to be when she grows up- she wants to ride a motorcycle out to the ocean with two of her friends and become a mermaid. Ha ha. Sure kiddo.

*I have been taking 3mg melatonin about an hour before bed every night and have decided that it is a lifesaver. I first took it as a fertility supplement back in 2012 because my doctor recommended it but had to stop taking it when going through my first IVF cycle. I remember being very sad that I had to stop taking back then and sort of forgot about it until a few weeks ago. I find that on most nights that I take it I don't have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I feel more rested without feeling groggy in the morning.