OMG

Soooo.....the turkey did not usher in my period this weekend. But this could be the reason why....

HOLY SH*T I AM PREGNANT!

Let me back up. As you all know, I went in on Day 20 of my cycle to my RE to make sure that I had ovulated. Once I did I started putting on estrogen patches and doing Ganerelix injections. I was so frustrated when I had a bit of blood on Day 25 (now maybe it was implantation bleeding?) and then nothing since then. Well...um...being pregnant would be a reason why I wouldn't get a period!

This weekend I was so pissed that I wasn't getting my period and that I wouldn't be able to cycle that I had two glasses of wine and took Nyquil so that I could sleep despite my never-ending cold.

So this morning I went into my RE's office to find out what was going on in my body. The ultrasound tech was very quiet the entire time and when she was almost finished she asked "Have you taken a home pregnancy test?" I said no because there was no way that I could get pregnant naturally. CP and I literally had sex once this month and while it was around ovulation, that wasn't on purpose. The tech said, "well, see this on the ultrasound? It's either a gestational sac or a cyst. And your lining is really thick- like 23 mm. I guess we will have to wait for your bloodwork to come back."

I tried my best to temper down my potential excitement because the month before we did an IUI and I didn't get pregnant, how the hell could we do it naturally? I got on my train, trying not to think about it, went into the CVS on the way to work to buy a pregnancy test, the whole time saying that I was just going to be disappointed. I found a plastic cup to pee into in my work bathroom and waited for the result. It took about a minute for the "pregnant" sign to come up and I about sh*t my pants. Then about a minute later, the 2-3 weeks popped up (today is Cycle Day 39).

Talk about no symptoms this time. No cramping in my uterus. No sore breasts. The only thing that has changed a bit is I am a bit constipated. I'm not even that tired. Maybe a lot of the early symptoms are mostly from the drugs that I am usually on? 

CP was shocked when I called him up. I had to email my nurse to see if she could switch the blood tests that they were running today. Obviously I don't need my baseline numbers.... I need a beta and my progesterone level!

Today, well, today I am ecstatic. CP and I got pregnant naturally. It is literally a miracle- especially after the past month where I have been super stressed at work. Continue growing little one!!

Oh body how I hate you

Remember how I was worried that an early period while on the flare protocol would screw up my cycle? Well it turns out that I had a bit of bleeding for part of a day but my full period never came. It's currently Day 34 and nothing. ARGH. Usually I'm a Day 28 kind-of-girl so the flare protocol must have screwed up my system. 

I have an appointment on Monday for bloodwork and ultrasound to see what is going on. If I don't start stims prior to December 4th I am going to have to wait until January to cycle because the lab closes for Christmas.

While it is helpful that it doesn't look like I will have to drive into Chicago from my parents place in MI this weekend for my baseline, I am beyond frustrated that I can't get a stupid period. JUST BLEED ALREADY.

The one piece of good news (but also sad in a way) is that it looks like I have blown through our medication deductible this year with our insurance company. This year I have spent at least $5000 on meds which means that I have my RE ordering the meds for the next cycle now even if I don't cycle until January. Might as well save myself a few thousand dollars, right? 

Maybe the tryptophan in the turkey tomorrow will not only put me to sleep, but also induce a period? One can only hope....

Microblog Mondays: Men

Once I knew our IVF cycle #2-turned IUI cycle was a bust, I started taking my doctor-recommended fertility supplements again. Prior to cycle #2 I had been a little lazy and had only been taking the main supplements- DHEA and CoQ10. Prior to cycle #1 I had been taking almost all of the recommended supplements (except for Pycnogenol because I couldn't find it at my local drug store) and that resulted in Izzy. 

I remember how prior to cycle #1 I said that I didn't want to regret anything, so I was doing everything in my power to make it a successful cycle. Why wasn't I doing that again? So back on the supplement wagon I went and I have been faithfully taking all of these (some of them twice a day) since I got my BFN from the last cycle.

What is so frustrating is that here I am taking 10 pills and 2 gummies a day with 4 of those pills being huge horse pills all to help increase our chances of a good cycle. The doctor has asked CP to take a multivitamin and CoQ10 twice a day. That's it. Yet he complains because CoQ10 gives him loose bowel movements. 

Let me get this straight. I'm taking all of these pills, injecting tons of drugs into my body, having a needle pierce through my uterine wall during retrieval, going through countless vaginal ultrasounds and blooddraws and you can't handle some loose bowel movements?

You have got to be kidding me. Men are so ridiculous.


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Clowns and IVF

Did you guys see this TIME article on how the use of "medical clowns" increased pregnancy rates?  

"A study of 229 Israeli women undergoing in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to treat infertility found that a 15-minute visit from a trained “medical clown” immediately after the embryos were placed in the womb increased the chance of pregnancy to 36%, compared with 20% for women whose embryo transfer was comedy-free."

First off, what is a medical clown? 

Secondly, I have already emailed CP to start preparing for his routine next month. :-)

Schoyer protocol

This morning I saw blood after I went to the bathroom. I am not sure if this is going to be an issue as I haven't finished my protocol and I am only on Day 25 of my cycle.

Let me back up. At the end of last month I met with my RE to discuss the failed IVF-turned IUI cycle and gear up for the next one. My doctor decided based on my high FSH level at my baseline last month that the flare protocol (also named the Schoyer protocol) would be the way to go (sorry ladies, she did not come back from the conference with a miracle protocol- but I did ask!).

The protocol looks like this:
11/13- put on Minivelle patch (this was Day 22 after a Day 20 blood test to make sure that I ovulated)
11/14- 250 dose of Ganerelix
11/15- take off old patch, put a new one on and 250 dose of Ganerelix
11/16- 250 dose of Ganerelix
11/17- take off old patch, put a new one one
11/19- take off old patch, put a new one on and keep it on until it falls off or HCG trigger

The hope is to make my body produce more antral follicles for the next cycle. But my body may have screwed things up with a period at least 3 days early. Now I wait for my nurse to give me the good or bad news.


*UPDATE- My nurse finally got back to me and it's not a big deal if my period has started. I just may have my baseline appointment a few days early....

Microblog Mondays: Mom fail

Yesterday I had a total mom fail.

At the last consignment sale that popped up near my house I found a lot of Izzy's 3t winter clothes. It's hard to find clothes that are not all pepto pink so I thought that I had scored by finding a navy blue sweatshirt.

It wasn't until last night when I went to put it on Izzy that I realized that it had writing on the back of the sweatshirt- 'Juicy Girls Club.'

Juicy girls club? REALLY? So much no by having that phrase on the back of a 3t sweatshirt. It makes me sad that some mother even bought the sweatshirt for full price at some point.

This sweatshirt will never see the light of day as it will never be worn outside (or really ever again- at least on Izzy). I only kept it on her last night because I needed to do her laundry and she was cold. 

And here I thought I was doing well yesterday in terms of toddler clothing as Izzy wore a green dinosaur tshirt that I had found in the boys section of the consignment sale.

(Pictured trying to take it off in order to take a bath)

*sigh*


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Microblog Mondays: Patterns

I have been a blogger for seven years and part of the infertility community for five years. During this time there is a distinct pattern that infertiles go through as they are making their way through this journey. The phrasing and words change depending on the writer but the overall message does not. There is always a post about cautious hope before a cycle and a post about always feeling scared while pregnant (especially early on). There is a post about wondering why infertility happened to me when others can easily get pregnant and a post about the difficulty in seeing pregnant bellies all around you. I could go on and on. I'm not knocking it because I have been through that same exact pattern and have the same exact posts on my blog. The fact that we all go through the same patterns is a good way to show that we are not alone as we battle infertility....even if it feels that way. Other women have been in your exact same place before, know what you are going through and the feelings that you are having.



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Microblog Mondays: Halloween

Saturday morning began with some pumpkin carving. I thought that Izzy would be more into scooping seeds out of the pumpkin, but I got her to put her hand in once and that was it. Otherwise she just watched.

Buster photobomb. He was very curious and hungry for pumpkin

My finished pumpkin

CP's finished pumpkin

This was my shy, tentative cow. She wasn't tentative about taking a piece of candy but was very good about only taking one. We need to work on her saying "trick or treat" and "thank you" to strangers- especially on Halloween but she did a pretty good job overall.

Searching for candy

Love that she is double-fisting an apple and a lollipop

Thankfully Izzy has already forgotten about Halloween and candy. Until next year!

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23 Months!

Less than a month until Izzy is TWO!!

23 Months

Height: unofficial 35"
Weight: 33 lbs

New Tricks: Izzy is no longer interested in using her kid-sized utensils. Every time we sit down for a meal now she wants a "big spoon" or "big fork." She does just fine with them so we don't mind- no knife just yet though!

Eating salad with a big fork

Toddlers love to help, so Izzy loves helping scoop Buster's food into his bowl, grabbing one joint "treat" out of a bag, and then bringing the food bowl upstairs all by herself.

Izzy can count to nine, but it is not consistent. She definitely knows how to count either one and two when we are looking at a book or asking her how many ears Buster has. And she definitely knows the difference between one and two- if we give her one cracker, she says "two." Lol. 

Jumping in the leaf pile

Language: Izzy is starting to try to give commands to Buster (sit, come, lie down, etc). He of course doesn't recognize her as an authority figure/understand what she is saying so he never listens. We were going on a hike through the woods in MI and she heard me whistling for him....so not knowing how to whistle she instead starts shrieking then saying "Izzy whistle."

"Hiking" in MI

When we walk out of the room, even if it is just for a second, Izzy will yell "Mommy where are you?"

Maybe she picked this up at daycare but when she drops something it is no longer "oops" it is "Oh gosh" or "Oh geez."

Trying on my mom's glasses

Recently she has been doing been saying "Knock knock." After you say "who's there?" Izzy will respond with "Izzy's here. Mommy and Daddy's here." Ha ha. Silly girl.

A couple of times Izzy will say something like "Izzy eated that." I wonder if she realizes she is saying something in the past tense? Generally all of her language is in the present tense.

Personality: Very attached to people she sees a lot and asks for "Grandma" and "Grandpa" all the time. She is shy in the presence of people she doesn't know and will go completely mute. She is definitely getting very bossy ("Mommy sit here. No Daddy."). "Izzy do it!" is frequently heard in our house, whether it is climbing into her car seat, opening something, or putting on her socks.

Picking tomatoes

Teeth: No two year molars as far as we can tell but has everything else.

Favorite Toy: A local friend was giving away a play kitchen on Facebook and I told her that I would pick it up. Izzy is IN LOVE with the kitchen and every chance she gets she is "cooking" for us. The kitchen came with tons of play food so she is pushing buttons on the microwave and shoving play food in our face. She even decided one weekend that she would rather stay in to play with the kitchen than go outside (this is a first).

"Making" breakfast

Favorite Book: This month it has definitely been "Duck on a Bike" where a duck rides a bike through a farm past all of the different animals. It's a good chance for her to make all of the different animal noises (Moo, Baa, Meow, etc.).

Silly girl on the swings

Sleeping Habits:  Bedtime has slowly moved back more towards 8pm with wakeups around 6:40 (weekday) and 7-7:30 (weekend). Naps at daycare are now about 1.5 hours and start around 12:45....naps at home don't start until 2:30-3 and last about 2 hours.

Eating:  Izzy has recently become more adventurous in her eating (I thought toddlers were supposed to go the opposite way so I'll take it). Midway through the month my parents came over for dinner and I made a cucumber-tomato-feta salad and a carrot-peanut soup using carrots from our garden. After Izzy finished eating her meal (something more toddler-friendly) she sat down on my mom's lap and proceed to drag the cucumber salad bowl over and eat the salad. Afterwards she became interested in the soup and ate the rest of my mom's soup (then she asked for it the next night).

"Helping" us rake up leaves

This comes in the same week as Izzy saw CP and I eating salad for dinner and wanted some of her own. While she was eating the lettuce she made "mmmmm" noises. Hilarious. After a while of trying to jab the lettuce with a fork she gave up and tipped the bowl to her mouth. Not great table manners but in the moment I didn't care because she was eating salad!

I love stickers

Diapers: Seventh Generation Size 5 diapers during the day, Pampers Overnight Size 6 at night. We have been dealing with a wet Izzy a lot of mornings because she has peed through her diaper so we have decided to phase out her nighttime half cup of milk- stay tuned to see how that goes because Izzy LOVES her milk.

About a week ago at daycare she peed twice on the potty then the same night before bed she pood on the potty (her first time)! We are not pressuring her at all or using any kind of method....just asking her if she wants to sit on the potty when we change her diaper or after a bath. No stickers or rewards...just lots of praise. At some point we will have to start some kind of training but for now I think it might be a little too early.

Puddle running

Clothes: some 2T clothes, mostly 3T clothes.

Illness: Nothing this month.

Other highlights: Mommy-daughter day on Columbus Day. Picking out pumpkins at the pumpkin patch.

First parade where she tried to collect candy. She didn't quite understand what was going on but enjoyed a lollipop afterwards.