Sometimes I wish that I didn't have a blog and therefore couldn't look up the specifics of my other two pregnancies. I went back in my archives and instead of now feeling good about this pregnancy, I am now worried.
1. Barely any symptoms.
I didn't have a lot of symptoms with Izzy but I at least had sore boobs. This time, other than some constipation and some dizziness/out of breath moments, nothing....just like the miscarriage this spring.
*Counterpoint- every pregnancy is different. Just because I didn't have sore boobs with my miscarriage doesn't mean that I will have another miscarriage because my boobs aren't sore again.
2. Low progesterone.
With Izzy my progesterone was really high- like in the 60s. This spring and on Monday? In the teens. While that is still in the "normal" range, is my body not making enough progesterone because it knows this is not a viable pregnancy again?
*Counterpoint- I was on more progesterone drugs with Izzy. I just started taking Endometrin on Monday night.
*Counter-counterpoint- I was on even more drugs after my frozen transfer. However, with a frozen transfer you have to supplement the progesterone even more because your body isn't making any on its own.
1. Barely any symptoms.
I didn't have a lot of symptoms with Izzy but I at least had sore boobs. This time, other than some constipation and some dizziness/out of breath moments, nothing....just like the miscarriage this spring.
*Counterpoint- every pregnancy is different. Just because I didn't have sore boobs with my miscarriage doesn't mean that I will have another miscarriage because my boobs aren't sore again.
2. Low progesterone.
With Izzy my progesterone was really high- like in the 60s. This spring and on Monday? In the teens. While that is still in the "normal" range, is my body not making enough progesterone because it knows this is not a viable pregnancy again?
*Counterpoint- I was on more progesterone drugs with Izzy. I just started taking Endometrin on Monday night.
*Counter-counterpoint- I was on even more drugs after my frozen transfer. However, with a frozen transfer you have to supplement the progesterone even more because your body isn't making any on its own.
3. Beta number
Not knowing exactly when I ovulated is killing me! I had to ovulate at some point before Day 20 (usually it's around Day 17). But if I ovulated on Day 17 my beta number should be higher than if I ovulated on Day 19.
*Counterpoint- 1400 could be a good beta number depending on where I started and when I ovulated. Who knows?
See how you can make yourself crazy? I have valid points on each side and yet, unless I start bleeding early, there is no way of knowing what is going on in my uterus and whether this is a viable pregnancy until Dec 11th. AND the bummer is that I can't go see my RE for the ultrasound because my referral ran out. My primary care physician doesn't see the need for her to make the new referral as there is no medical need. So instead I had to make an appointment with the local hospital for an early ultrasound...which I'm sure will be fine but the whole thing has just thrown me off. I did a bunch of calculations this morning and figured that I probably COULD have an earlier ultrasound but next week CP would only be able to make a Friday appointment.
See how you can make yourself crazy? I have valid points on each side and yet, unless I start bleeding early, there is no way of knowing what is going on in my uterus and whether this is a viable pregnancy until Dec 11th. AND the bummer is that I can't go see my RE for the ultrasound because my referral ran out. My primary care physician doesn't see the need for her to make the new referral as there is no medical need. So instead I had to make an appointment with the local hospital for an early ultrasound...which I'm sure will be fine but the whole thing has just thrown me off. I did a bunch of calculations this morning and figured that I probably COULD have an earlier ultrasound but next week CP would only be able to make a Friday appointment.
Maybe this just means that next Monday I should take another pregnancy test to see if it moves from 2-3 weeks to 3-4 weeks. That would at least give me a clue...
Thank goodness I have a crazy weekend to look forward to and a crazy work week next week. Hopefully it will keep me distracted from all of these thoughts running through my head.
6 comments:
I'm sorry you are feeling torn.
Please don't take another test indicating weeks. I've read tons of stories where the weeks wouldn't move up and yet all was completely fine. It will most likely just freak you out even more.
The wait between a BFP and a conclusive us is just the worst. Hang in there. I believe in your little unicorn baby!!!
Echoing Lya. Hang in there and just focus on the fact that today you are pregnant.
I had insanely sore breasts with my daughter and was exhausted (FET). I'm currently 34 weeks (fresh cycle) with my second child and had NO symptoms. I was tired, but not falling asleep at work and literally no breast tenderness. Every pregnancy is different and I think when your body has been through this before, it responds differently. Try not to read too much into symptoms or lack there of.
My early pregnancy symptoms were very different with Annika and Callum. And, it sounds like you generally don't have much in the way of early symptoms in pregnancy generally, so this one isn't that different. Plus, all the differences you're noting could be more to do with the CD of implantation, or IVF vs spontaneous, or who knows what. I know it's so hard not to compare, but they really are different!
I never had sore boobs when I was pregnant. It's funny how different pregnancies can be. The waiting is so difficult. I'm sorry you can't get another referral for the RE. I assume you are taking progesterone supplements? Is that the Endometrin? I never took that so I'm not sure. I was so excited at the idea of you testing again on Monday, but after reading the above comments, they give valid reasons why you shouldn't. So I'll just wish you a quick week so that next Friday will get here fast!
EARLY SYMPTOM SPOTTING = THE DEVIL. I mean, obviously I'm still doing it ;-)
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