So of course the fact that I wanted to CLEAN EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE had me convinced that the embryo is gone. CP went to a work happy hour (which turned into a late and drunken night for him- I decided not to go because I couldn't drink anyway) while I cleaned, watched tv, and then finished the book "The Fault in Our Stars." I ugly-cried through the last quarter of the book so my eyes were nice and puffy the next morning.
Then on Saturday it was like I was normal again. My logical brain took hold and is back in control. If the embryo did implant then I shouldn't be feeling anything right now anyways....so I went about my day as if everything was normal. It actually made for a nice and relaxing Saturday and Sunday. Today? Today I'm still in the relaxed mode. There is nothing I can do or say at this point. The beta test tomorrow is going to either show that I'm pregnant or that I am not pregnant.
But logical, sane me HATES the fact that I was freaking out on Thursday and Friday. I hate that the period in between transfer and a pregnancy test turns me into a basket case at times. I guess I should be thankful that I was only freaking out for two days as opposed the entire 10 days....
I'm bummed that CP left for CA yesterday afternoon on a last-minute work trip. He is scheduled to come back tomorrow, but it all depends on if the emergency situation has been fixed or not. Even if he is able to come back tomorrow, he gets in really late. I'll either be passed out in bed, drunk off a bottle of wine and full of sushi, or unable to believe that the IVF really worked. We'll see....
16 comments:
Best of luck!
And crazy thoughts seem completely reasonable to me. This is a pretty intense emotional and physical thing - I say cut yourself some slack to have the "crazy" ups and downs.
Fingers crossed!
I honestly think when you go through this, you need to throw ALL logic to the wind. One moment you are thinking rationally and the next you are a crazy lady.
Which is all normal :) Hang in there!
Thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes your way. Keeping my fingers crossed!!
Dude. If I can get through a 2ww with only a couple days of hysterics, it'll be astonishing.
Good luck with the upcoming test.
Good luck.
I giggled at the ugly cry comment. I am so an ugly crier too.
I'm also an ugly crier. I hate pretty criers. So unfair! I think that we're all entitled to our crazies during the 2WW. I've already gone through one full up and down cycle already, and I'm only 3 days in! Don't beat yourself up for it.
ARGHHH!!!! The suspense is killing me! Also, do not interpret your urge to clean all the things as a bad sign -- as so many ladies will tell you, signs of pregnancy are the EXACT same as signs of a period (cramps, bloating, headaches, sore boobs, etc. etc.), so it could very well be a good thing. Or just nothing. Or a nesting instinct. :) Will be thinking of you tomorrow and crossing my fingers!
For some reason I was thinking the test was on Saturday, so I've been thinking of you since then (and checking repeatedly for a much anticipated blog post)! I will continue sending good vibes your way...best of luck! Hang in there...
Best of luck tomorrow!
Fingers are still crossed for you! I hope that those socks brought you luck!
I think what you've been feeling, the yo-yo emotions is totally normal. And, instead of fighting your feelings, maybe it's time to embrace them? I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
I am sending you tons of good vibes, I have a good feeling for you. I can totally relate to the rollercoaster of emotions that is IF... hang in there, won't be long now :)
You are entitled to a little freak out during the 2ww. I'm sorry it was a rough weekend, but you are right, better 2 days than all 10! Good luck tomorrow! I will be watching for the results!!
Oh those days between transfer and test are the worst. Good luck tomorrow.
I'm glad that your calm and logical brain has set in just for the sake of keeping you calm, but I really really hope that you have one big reason to be freaking out in a good way today after your beta. Sending so many good vibes your way!
I keep checking in today. I hope you gett good news!
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