It's 10:20pm...the night before my neck surgery and I am freaking out. This surgery is certainly somewhat elective in that it is not an emergency (at least right now) and I am picking the date/time to get it done. I would rather have control over that instead of having to rush in for emergency surgery where I am possibly having trouble breathing because my cyst became infected. That being said, I am feeling super guilty that I am having the surgery because what if something happens to me? Wes, just turning two, wouldn't even remember his mother. Izzy probably would but how much would I screw up the kids if their mother went in for an elective surgery, said goodnight to them the night before, and then died on the operating table?
I know, this is all doom and gloom but I had similar worries when I was going in for my c-section with Wes. I mean, you never know if something is going to go wrong during surgery. (CP noted last night when I was talking to him about this that something could happen to me any day so why freak out about this? I agree to an extent...) This shouldn't be a scary surgery, but I am going under general anesthesia and there are always risks.
However, there is nothing that I can do about it now. The surgery is tomorrow whether I like it or not. Please send good thoughts my way starting around 7:30am tomorrow for about two hours or so. I hope to be updating the blog at some point this weekend with my new large neck scar. If I never update this blog again, well, then you know that something went very wrong. I'm hoping that I am just freaking out for no reason whatsoever. Fingers crossed.
4 comments:
I more than understand. It is normal, feel no shame. AND I AM GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT POST!!!!! You are important to me a IRL stranger. Courage, remember how embarrassing it would be to walk out with your backside in the wind and then have to reschedule later. (This image got me through a tubal ligation many years ago...)
VERY BEST WISHES for a wonderful easy outcome!
Hugs and caring.
(PS: Normally never comment because the google account thing is so off putting for anyone who has cause to hide from being found by a stalker.......)
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and looking forward to your next post as all is going to be fine!
You are in surgery right now, and I am sending so many good thoughts. Please update us when you feel well enough to type.
Just seeing this so you should be in recovery if everything started on time. Lots of prayers for quick healing.
And it’s totally normal to be so anxious...it’s why they often put anxiety meds in with the anesthesia...I had then before my C-sections (thank god!)
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