This has been a rough week. I dropped Wes off at daycare on Monday feeling terrible because we probably should have done a half day at daycare before dropping him off for an almost 11 hour day. He did fine but I had tremendous guilt despite the fact that we did the same exact thing to Izzy when she was three months old. (She was our first so how were we to know?) CP left for Colombia early Monday morning so he hasn't been able to help at all. Izzy was excited to have Wes join her at daycare but a couple of times this week as I go to leave her in her classroom she has been crying and desperately clinging to me. Hopefully it gets better next week when her best friend re-joins the class.
I have had little to no time to relax this week which hasn't helped. My schedule is essentially this:
Wake up at 5 and shower if Wes is still sleeping (if not, nurse him then shower). Wake up Wes to change him, then nurse, then pump. Head downstairs to finish making breastmilk bottles from dishwasher, let Buster out and feed him, eat a banana. Back upstairs to wake Izzy up at 6:30 to help her get dressed and into the car hopefully a few minutes before 7. Drop off Buster and kids (separate daycares of course) and catch the train putting me into work almost 3.5 hours after getting up for the day. I run to the train after work pick up Buster and then grab the kids around 5:45. We get home and I have to heat up/make dinner for me and Izzy, feed Buster, Facetime with CP, nurse Wes a few times, and hold him because he is understandably wanting cuddle time after a long day away from me. I try to get Izzy into bed by 8-8:30 and how much of a chore that becomes with screaming, hitting, and crying depends on whether she napped at daycare or not. I then work on putting Wes to bed, generally by 9pm. Then it is downstairs to clean up from dinner and get ready for the next day. My only time to "unwind" is during my two 35-40 minute train rides and between preparing for the next day and bed- but of course I can't take too long to do so because then I will be even more exhausted the next day.
The house doesn't get any cleaner, no laundry gets done, and Buster is essentially ignored. Not every week is going to be like this and I know it will get better but damn it is tough. Not to mention Izzy was up until almost 1am last night crying because her stomach hurt from a new antibiotic we are giving her to try to get her sinus infection to go away (I ended up having her sleep in my bed so that I could get some sleep).
I have had little to no time to relax this week which hasn't helped. My schedule is essentially this:
Wake up at 5 and shower if Wes is still sleeping (if not, nurse him then shower). Wake up Wes to change him, then nurse, then pump. Head downstairs to finish making breastmilk bottles from dishwasher, let Buster out and feed him, eat a banana. Back upstairs to wake Izzy up at 6:30 to help her get dressed and into the car hopefully a few minutes before 7. Drop off Buster and kids (separate daycares of course) and catch the train putting me into work almost 3.5 hours after getting up for the day. I run to the train after work pick up Buster and then grab the kids around 5:45. We get home and I have to heat up/make dinner for me and Izzy, feed Buster, Facetime with CP, nurse Wes a few times, and hold him because he is understandably wanting cuddle time after a long day away from me. I try to get Izzy into bed by 8-8:30 and how much of a chore that becomes with screaming, hitting, and crying depends on whether she napped at daycare or not. I then work on putting Wes to bed, generally by 9pm. Then it is downstairs to clean up from dinner and get ready for the next day. My only time to "unwind" is during my two 35-40 minute train rides and between preparing for the next day and bed- but of course I can't take too long to do so because then I will be even more exhausted the next day.
The house doesn't get any cleaner, no laundry gets done, and Buster is essentially ignored. Not every week is going to be like this and I know it will get better but damn it is tough. Not to mention Izzy was up until almost 1am last night crying because her stomach hurt from a new antibiotic we are giving her to try to get her sinus infection to go away (I ended up having her sleep in my bed so that I could get some sleep).
Meanwhile at work I am trying to catch up on all of my projects while writing performance reviews for all six of my employees.
CP gets home tonight and I. Can't. Wait.
Despite all of that, I feel terrible for complaining. I still have it better than a lot of people in so many ways. *sigh*
8 comments:
Not complaining. Thank goodness it is Friday. I hope you get a reprieve this weekend somehow, or at least some much needed cuddles from your kids.
Sounds like a lot is going on. It's definitely hard to juggle, especially when you're use to having an extra set of hands. Hopefully you'll have a chance to recover over the weekend and there will be some space until the next trip. At the very least, you've earned a glass of wine and some cuddle time with Buster
Oh Friend, that sounds very, very hectic and so hard without any real downtime. I hope that you will be able to escape for an a few hours at some point over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself. Transitions are tough for everyone. Hopefully it smooths out sooner than later for you!
Oh my gosh you're so not complaining! That sounds like a lot to deal with alone. Wishing you some much needed "me time" this weekend.
Wow- how exhausting! Seriously, I could never handle being alone with the kids for long periods like that. I hope you can get some relaxing in when CP gets home- you deserve it!!!
Wow. I was on my own for one week a few weeks back and I thought about how often you parent solo and how hard it must be!
That would be a good business idea....doggy and kiddie day care!
These early weeks of going back to work are so rough. You made it!
Post a Comment