Thanksgiving issues

This Thanksgiving was supposed to be a more relaxing day with just CP, my parents, my sister, her boyfriend, their dog and of course, our dogs.  It's the day before CP and I go through a life changing event (including major surgery for me with the C-section), so we scaled back our usual efforts.

Of course, there is a snag to our plans.  My sister called me up earlier this week and asked if her boyfriend's mother, uncle, sister, sister's husband and sister's new baby could join us for Thanksgiving.*  SIGH.  My sister doesn't exactly think these things through ummm EVER and it's extremely frustrating.

CP talked it over and although we think that it could be an absolute disaster, we decided that we would say okay to it.  My parents have never met my sister's boyfriend's mom (mom and dad are divorced and supposedly dad is a little crazy).  A holiday would be a good time for this to happen as it will be a few short hours when everyone is in a good mood.

Well, almost everyone.  CP and I might be tearing our hair out a little more than usual with strangers in our house.  I was already going to have to clean for everyone anyway.  But I could certainly take shortcuts if it was just family.  CP and my mom were already splitting up the cooking duties; it was agreed that I should just try to relax most of the day.  However, how Buster will react to the new people in our house is always a question mark.  He will be nicely distracted by my sister's dog and hopefully we can get them to play in the backyard a bunch before the new people arrive, but Buster is always iffy around strangers.  He is definitely going to bark at them....hopefully it won't last long, they will listen to us when we tell them to just ignore him, and hopefully his bark doesn't scare the baby too much.  

But there is also something about feeling comfortable around your family.  Yes, I am supposed to be resting and relaxing that day, but even when I was basically on bed rest for the SCH during my first trimester and my FIL, his wife, and CP's aunt and uncle were in town, it was hard to do.  I know that it is going to be the same thing come next week.  You want to be a good host in your house no matter the circumstances.  Having four strangers roll into your house on a holiday makes the relaxing atmosphere disappear.

So yes, we agreed to have the extra people in our house.  We made sure to tell my sister numerous times that she MUST help clean up.  You see, we have my parents and my sister/her boyfriend over about once a month for Sunday dinner.  CP makes a fabulous meal and my mom usually brings dessert.  Who cleans up at the end of the night?  CP, myself, and my mom.  That is not going to fly on Thanksgiving.

Two other things have occurred to CP and me.  First, we now have a bunch of baby stuff set up and ready for OUR baby.  Now we will have an eight month old (I think) coming into our house and it would make perfect sense for the kid to use the baby stuff that we have in our house.  But selfishly, I want to keep these things pristine and new for OUR baby. 

The other thing is that my sister and her boyfriend have poo-poo'ed marriage for a while.  They have been together for about four years now and have also said that kids are not in their future, thus why get married?  They own a condo together and have a dog together, but again, no interest in marriage.  But lately, I think the tide may be turning.  CP and I think it is very possible that my sister and her boyfriend will steal our baby thunder and get engaged over Thanksgiving.  I mean, it would be a good time with his family and my family together, but then again, you have any other day to do it.  Not right before I am about to have a baby that CP and I worked so hard for.  Then again, maybe it won't happen and our worry of being upstaged will be for naught.  But, we could just see my sister and her boyfriend not thinking about anyone else but themselves (which is typical).

So we'll see how Thanksgiving goes.  Maybe I'll just try to focus on getting excited for the day afterwards as opposed to the holiday.....


*I almost forgot the best part.  Once we agreed to host these people, my sister sent an email to my mom and CP that said, "Oh, and we need to make sure that we make pumpkin pie because X (not sure who) has requested that we have pumpkin pie because it is his/her favorite."  Seriously??  Why don't you bring it yourself then!!  So now my mom is making two desserts because one of the randoms at our house absolutely needs to have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving.  SIGH.

Last minute preparations

Whoops!  I didn't mean to disappear like that, but we have been quite busy with last minute preparations before the baby arrives!

*I found our pediatrician!  I was getting nervous because it's really getting down to the wire, but every other ped that came recommended didn't take my insurance.  This dr seems like he is going to be great.  He seems like he will be easy to work with, his office is close to our house, and he has night and weekend hours.

*I took our SUV in to get the base and the car seat inspected at our local police department.  Thank goodness I did because we had it in the middle of the back seat and it shouldn't have been there!  Tomorrow I will be taking the Prius in to do the same check.

*Work held a cute baby shower for me last week.  It is going to be so weird to be out for three months.  Especially now that my boss and one of my coworkers have announced that they are retiring in January.  Our department is only 10 people so if the two of them are gone and another person is 99% getting a transfer, it's going to be a whole different office upon my return.

*This past weekend CP and I cleaned out the second bedroom.  It had been basically a junk room with a queen bed for guests, but now that we have my mom and my MIL staying with us after the baby arrives (at separate times), we needed to clean it up for their stays.  Now that it is basically clean, our house is as ready is as it going to be for the baby!!  

*This week is pretty hectic trying to fit in various social obligations before the baby arrives and makes it more difficult.  Our friends braved the awful weather on Sunday and came over to our place to hang out and watch football.  Well, they have two year old twins so not a ton of football was watched as we ran around keeping them out of various things in our house, but it was nice to see them!  Last night was my RESOLVE dinner with the currently-pregnant and currently parenting fellow infertiles.  They were all so excited that I came to the dinner at almost 38 weeks pregnant.  Tonight we are going out to dinner in the city to celebrate my dad's birthday.  Then tomorrow night I am meeting a former college track teammate for dinner in the suburbs whom I haven't seen in years (she just moved to Chicago).  After all of this I hope to sleep for an entire day.  HA!

*My hospital-grade breast pump arrived yesterday in the mail (three cheers for Obamacare!).  I opened the box and checked everything out, but will wait to fully inspect it until after the breastfeeding class this Sunday.

*I took a few minutes out of my work day yesterday to check out where I am supposed to pump after coming back to work.  They actually have a Medalla pump here and if I want to, I can bring my own tubing and supplies.  Not sure what I am going to do at this point, but doing that would save me a bunch of hassle having to drag the pump and supplies back and forth three times a week.  Then I could just keep my regular pump at home.

*The underwire on my current bras has been killing me so I thought buying a nursing bra without underwire would help these last few weeks.  I went to Nordstroms where I was told they have a large selection for women with huge melons.  They only had one style that was underwire-free (I read on one of your blogs that underwire can sometimes cause mastitis) which I ended up buying, but I think that once my milk comes in, it's not going to fit anymore.  The saleswoman said that "it will stretch", but it is currently fitting NOW.  So, uh...we'll see.

*I also bought a few nursing shirts for easy access while I am on maternity leave.  I'm not going to look sexy, but at least I will be comfortable and provide easy access.

*Koda hasn't been doing well.  The bone near her eye is jutting out more and more and now the extra eye flap (not sure what it is called) is usually covering most of her eye.  We took her into the vet this past weekend and got some ointment that is helping with the irritation, but I get more worried every day.  It doesn't seem to bother her, but I can't imagine she can see through the flap.  Twice this week she hasn't been that interested in eating or only finishes half her bowl of food which is completely unlike her.  We are not sure if it is because it hurts her to eat or if it is something else.

Poor Koda.  Check out her left eye.

*I had a dream last night that I fell off a cliff.  I woke up startled at 4am and was so freaked out, I had to putz around on my phone for a few minutes before trying to go back to sleep.  I quickly googled what that meant and it basically means that I am feeling out of control about something in my life.  Hmmm....could it be that I am having a baby in less than two weeks???

Partial renovations

This last week we have been busy finishing up home improvement projects around the house before the baby arrives.  As I mentioned last Friday, we planned on just doing a partial renovation of the upstairs bathroom. Thank goodness we were able to finish it within the weekend because it created quite the mess and we didn't shower the entire weekend!!

Get ready for pictures!!

BEFORE: Here is the UGLY black bathtub that we couldn't do anything about.  However, we could get rid of the sliding glass doors.

AFTER: Success!  There are a few holes in the tile where we took out screws, but we filled them with caulk.  This is not a permanent solution, but we don't have the money to pay for someone to re-tile the floor and the walls right now.

BEFORE: Here is the wallpapered ceiling....

BEFORE: And the wallpapered door....

AFTER: After steaming the wallpaper off the ceiling, doors, and walls Friday night, CP fixed the plaster on Saturday.  Once everything was dry we primed and painted!  We still need to get the glue off the door and paint, but this beige looks 10 million times better than the wallpaper!

AFTER: Here is another view.  The paint looks oddly yellow (which it is not), but check out the ceiling- NO WALLPAPER!!!

As I said, this is only a temporary situation.

The other project was our awful, awful staircase.  Again, only a partial project, but the money for the project came from my parents as an early Christmas gift.

BEFORE:  Hey why don't we install a 1960s iron staircase that looks like it belongs outside?  What a great idea! 

AFTER: It only took one day for the guys to remove the awful iron crap and install a new wood staircase.

AFTER: Another shot of the staircase.  

The staircase is another partial renovation because while we now love the new staircase and the stair runner (installed back in January), the wallpaper is FUGLY.  Unfortunately, it extends two floors and I already have enough problems with ladders.  Soooooo at some point when we get the money, we will hire someone to take the wallpaper down and paint.  We'll get there....eventually.

So many thoughts....

Two nights ago I headed over to a neighbor's house. She just gave birth on Halloween so I was meeting her new baby for the first time. It was pretty amazing because I have not been in the presence of a newborn since right after college (crazy huh? That's what happens when you move so much!).  My neighbor asked if I wanted to hold her baby. As I held the baby I realized that I would soon have one of my own in less than a month- WHOA.

Then last night, CP and I finally took the tour of our hospital (turns out we really didn't need it after our two trips to L & D earlier this pregnancy- oh well).  But they did show us the nursery floor and we saw a few just-born babies. Oddly enough, I almost teared up thinking of how OUR BABY is going to be in that room in a few short weeks.

I know that all first time moms are nervous about giving birth and becoming a mom. I guess I am not so nervous about the giving birth part. My fibroid/endo surgery gave me a taste of how much the c-section is going to suck- especially when I can't just lay on the couch and have CP and my mom help me- I will have a baby to take care of and I won't be able to just sleep away the pain.

But no, I worry about how I am going to react as a mother. As I have mentioned before, I didn't always think that I wanted to be a mother. I knew that I was too selfish at the time and that my relationships were not stable enough (or the men worthy enough). But after meeting CP I knew that eventually, I would like kids.

As I held my neighbor's newborn, it felt not so scary.  But then again, the newborn slept the entire time, making a few funny faces during her nap.  I thought, "I can handle this."  But this was not a screaming baby at 2am when I haven't slept in weeks.  This was not the probable pain of breastfeeding, no mommy guilt over something I likely can't control, no worrying about why the baby hasn't pooped in a few days, etc. 

Having kids means changing our life and lifestyle completely. Because we are older and more set in our ways, is that going to be harder for us?  I know we are better off because partying at bars and hanging out until the wee hours of the night is long behind us, but gone will be the days when we can come home from work and veg on the couch.  Gone will be the days when we just have to worry about the two of us and the dogs.  I know that it is going to be extremely hard, but everyone says that it is totally worth it. I wonder when I will feel that it is worth it? Is it when I hold MY child for the first time? Is it not until my kid first smiles at me?  Or is it even later?

Some people, as soon as they get pregnant, love the child inside them. I wonder if keeping the gender a surprise is keeping me from really bonding with the baby? I don't think that I am trying to protect myself in case something happens in the last few weeks.  Yes, the thought does go through my head, but for the most part I am optimistic that things will go well and in a few short weeks I will have a baby in my arms.  I have definitely felt protective of my belly and the baby throughout this pregnancy, but I can't say that I love the baby yet. I don't know anything about the baby- what it looks like, its personality, etc. For me it's hard to love something that is still not a reality.  But then I also feel bad that I don't already love the baby that has been inside me since March.

*sigh* I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head about becoming a mother. I guess I will find out some of the answers to my questions and thoughts soon enough.

Books

Whoa.  It’s  been waaaaaay too long since I have done a book post (last November!!!).  Because there are so many, I will say very little and instead let the ratings guide you as to whether I liked the book or not and whether it is worth your time.

All ratings out of a possible 5 stars.  (Links go to Good Reads if you want to find out more about the book.)

Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison by Piper Kerman

3 stars

Loved the Netflix series, so I thought I would check out the book.  I know that they have to make the series engaging and more interesting, but I still thought that the book would be a little better.

A White Wind Blew by James Markert

3 stars

A widowed doctor, who is also a seminary student, uses music to help treat TB patients in the 1920s.

The Boy in the Suitcase by Lene Kaaberbol, Agnete Friis   

3 stars

Bossypants by Tina Fey    

4 stars

Finally got around to reading this and it was awesome.  Tina is hilarious.

Flesh and Bone by Jefferson Bass

3 stars

Okay enough read, but the “love story” part was just silly.

Plastic-Free: How I Kicked the Plastic Habit and How You CanToo by Beth Terry  

4 stars

I briefly touched on the fact that I was reading this book in this post. Great book full of tons of ideas on how you can reduce your plastic consumption.

Poisoned: The True Story of the Deadly E. Coli Outbreak ThatChanged the Way Americans Eat by Jeff Benedict  

4 stars

This was a free Nook book.  The book is about the Jack in the Box/e.coli outbreak and how our food system changed after the outbreak.

Splitting the Difference: A Heart-Shaped Memoir by Tre Miller Rodriguez  

4 stars

I read this author’s blog and was really interested in reading her book as well.   She was brutally honest about her husband’s death and her grief.

The Searchers: The Making of an American Legend by Glenn Frankel  

2 stars

I SLOGGED through this book after seeing a great review on it from Entertainment Weekly.  Definitely disappointing.

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an AmericanFamily in Hitler’s Berlin by Erik Larson  

4 stars

I really enjoyed Devil in the White City by the same author.  A true story of the American ambassador to Hitler’s Germany and his family.

Driftless by David Rhodes  

2 stars

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green  

4 stars

Haven’t read this yet?  Please do.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir by Jenny Lawson  

4 stars

Another blogger that I read and very much enjoy.  Hilarious book!

Drinking and Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders by Brandi Glanville   

4 stars

As you guys know, I am quite the fan of all of the Real Housewives cities.  Basically, it was what I expected- an easy read with some gossip thrown in.

Forgotten April by Robyn Bradley  

3 stars

Protector (Jane Perry #1) by Laurel Dewey 

3 stars

Free Nook book.  Not awful but at times very melodramatic.  It was not hard to figure out the killer early on.

The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution by Richard Dawkins  

3 stars

Love the premise of the book and it has a lot of good information, but I hated his “funny” asides.  He is also a little long-winded.

The Last Noel by Michael Malone 

4 stars

A free Nook book that I absolutely loved.  Great story about friendship and love between two people of different racial backgrounds.

The Last Secret of the Temple by Paul Sussman  

3 stars

Mystery/Suspense story with the added twist of an Egyptian  detective having to work with an Israeli detective.

Through a Glass Darkly by Karleen Koen  

4 stars

Historical fiction that was interesting enough…

Have you read any good books recently that you can recommend?

Lots of opinions

The good news?  Our weekend bathroom project is done.  I was able to steam the wallpaper off the walls on Friday night, CP fixed the plaster in a bunch of areas on Saturday, and on Sunday I primed and painted before we cleaned up the room.  Needless to say, that is the LAST home improvement project I am going to tackle while pregnant because today?  Well, today I am sore.  I am cranky.  I am just overall EXHAUSTED.  The other bad news?  I tried to take pictures this morning but there wasn't enough natural light in the room so they didn't look good.  You will have to wait for picture until sometime later this week...in the meantime....a cranky post!

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I am very opinionated- a fact that you have probably already figured out considering one of my tags for posts is "I have lots of opinions."  Here are some of my opinions.  They may or may not be controversial and they may offend some people.  I may be feeling a bit more passionate about them lately due to pregnancy hormones.  :-)

1. I hate the very idea of gender reveal parties.  Of course we weren't going to go down that route anyway because Baby NSC is a surprise, but really, the only people that seriously care about the gender are you, your spouse, and grandparents. Why do you need two parties for your baby anyways?   You will likely have a baby shower in a few short weeks anyway.  At my last RESOLVE meeting a woman talked about her sister-in-law who had THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the room for her 20 week ultrasound.  This is even worse!  What if they found out during the ultrasound that something was not normal? 

2. I do not have furbabies.  I might still call them puppies even though at 2.5 and almost 10 years old they are no longer puppies anymore....but they are not furbabies.  

3. I will never use the word obvi (for obvious) or bestie or totes (for totally).  I'm sure that there are other abbreviations that I am missing, but yeah, no. 

4.  I will never call myself a "mama bear." I am a human being and I will hopefully have a child coming into the world about in 3.5 weeks.  If I am being protective, I will call it just that.  Also, if my stretch marks stick around after delivery, they will not be "tiger stripes."  They are simply called stretch marks.  

5. People that have fully working iPhones that stand in line to get the newest iPhone are ridiculous.  I have a somewhat-fully working iPhone 4 (home button sometimes doesn't work) but have no desire or reason to upgrade right now.  It's working (enough) so there is no reason to upgrade simply to have the newest phone out there.  

6. One thing that has really been annoying me is how many disposable or temporary things are out there for babies.  I was in Buy Buy Baby this past weekend and saw things like disposable changing pads, disposable bibs, etc.  I get that not everyone is as worried about filling up our landfills with junk like me, but really?  I hope that people are buying these and only using them when traveling because buying these things for everyday use would be super expensive.  Just buy one wipeable bib and take it wherever you go (or buy two and keep one at home, one in the diaper bag).  The washing machine is your friend for washing changing pads, nursing pads, etc. when they get dirty.  Maybe I will feel differently once I have this baby, but right now I would rather take the time to wash what I can rather than just buying something disposable.  The consultants at BBB were helpful when CP and I first went to register there, but after doing more research, I just got annoyed with their list of "must haves."  For instance, I think that most babies sleep in their parent's room for the first couple of months.  Fine.  Most people recommend having a co-sleeper or a bassinet.  Personally, I was getting annoyed at the suggestion because why am I going to buy something that I will only use for a few months?  Instead, the Pack N Play that we will use for a couple of years when we take the kid on trips/to friend's houses/to my parent's house/etc. has a bassinet so why can't I just use that?  Saves me money and saves space in our house. 

7. People who are anti-vaccines.  Vaccines are safe and have been given out for many, many years.  In fact, they are now even safer as scientists have decreased the number of antigens found in vaccines over the years. We have been able to wipe out diseases like small pox in the US because of vaccines.  Deadly outbreaks like the measles outbreak in Texas this year are now happening because people are not getting vaccinated and it pisses me off.  I hope that members of my community and especially the kids going to my baby's daycare will be getting all of the necessary vaccines.  

8. I HATE HATE HATE when people post things to Facebook and haven't done their homework.  Does whatever the article say seem outrageous?  Well then it probably is.  Please check snopes or the like before I have to call you out.  It really seems like it is the same people that violate this rule all the time. Haven't they learned yet??

Wow some of these make me sounds like a crotchety old, cranky woman but I am just going to roll with them.

What are you opinionated about?

I think we are crazy

I think that CP and I are crazy.  I'm 35 weeks, 2 days pregnant and this weekend we have decided to partly remodel our upstairs bathroom.

Today after work I am going to take down this awful wallpaper.  

Yes, it is not only located ON THE CEILING but also ON THE BACK OF DOORS.  W.T.F.

We have no idea what we are going to find underneath the wallpaper.  Will the plaster underneath be an entire, crumbling mess?  For CP's sake I certainly hope not....but it's a definite possibility as the previous owner wallpapered the ceiling in the dining room to cover up the same problem.

For right now we are just planning on taking down the wallpaper, fixing the plaster, and painting the walls.  Completely re-doing the bathroom is not something we have any money for right now but this will at least make us feel a bit better about the room.

Here is the lovely black bathtub that we will hopefully....someday....get rid of and the lovely green floor tile.

Any suggestions on what color we should paint the walls?