Last Friday BF and I set up a joint checking account to pay our bills and a joint credit card to use for expenses (i.e. grocery store). We also each got individual checking and savings accounts. This is a pretty big deal. I see it as us moving forward as a couple, facing the world (and debt) together.
A friend from college sees it differently. Said friend (DG) and I were IMing last night and had an interesting discussion. He is in the military (currently in Iraq) and is off-and-on with his girlfriend. They have big trust issues. We started talking about marriage and pre-nuptials. He is all for a pre-nup; I am not. You would think with my J.D. training that I would agree with them. I guess that I do in certain situations. If one person has a lot more money than the other and/or if the couple lives in a community property state, then I could see it.
DG has put a lot of money away every year since he has been in the military. He is worried that if he gets married and is a bigger saver than his wife, she will get half of his 401K if a divorce does occur. I told him that's why you need to KNOW the person you are marrying. You have open and honest conversations about the future, putting money away for retirement, etc.
I read recently that couples that keep separate bank accounts and just split up the bills are more likely to split up because it's "easier" to walk away from the relationship. BF and I certainly didn't get a joint checking account so that we are tied together financially and therefore won't split up. I see it more as symbolic of our relationship- that we are a team.
Right now BF is making a lot more money than I am. But I am scheduled for three promotions in the first two years of my new job (that I start MONDAY!), which means unless BF gets a raise in those two years, I will move much closer to his salary. By that point, I see us engaged or even married. We both have about the same amount of debt. After two years the pay disparity will be a lot less. I see no reason for a pre-nuptial agreement.
I see joint accounts as making decisions together on what we will spend our money on. Obviously, going out and spending money on clothes or something is not a big deal and asking your partner wouldn't be an issue. But, putting a dollar limit, say $500 or $1000, on what a partner may spend before having to ask permission from the other partner seems reasonable. That way money that could be better spent saving for house repairs or in a 401K and won't go towards new surround sound speakers or a future shoe fetish I might pick up.
If you are part of a couple (married/ unmarried), how do you guys handle your finances?
3 comments:
In my last relationship, we had separate finances up until we got engaged. And then we opened a joint account for wedding stuff. And then, you know, he cheated on me, and I kept all the money.
But in all seriousness? I think it works best when you each have your own accounts, and then also a joint account for things like weddings and housing costs, etc. At least that's what's always worked for me.
i'm not in a relationship at the moment. i've always had seperate bank account from my boyfriends...but known of them were close to marriage. when i do get engaged, I would like to have a joint account and separate accounts. i've heard too many horror stories about not having your individual money (and credit). i don't want suze ormen to yell at me.
Currently my boyfriend and I have separate accounts, but I’m pretty sure that’ll change once we’re married. Currently he is helping me pay of some of my debt, which is a huge commitment and we’re doing it so we can work toward our future together. :)
Post a Comment