I have a friend that I have known since freshman year in college, so over 10 years. She is part of a group of eight from our freshman hall that still email each other all the time in big "reply all" emails. Since we are all over the country, it is the easiest way to keep in contact with my girls- especially since six are married, three have two or more kids, and one is pregnant with her second. This friend, we will call her CS, has the "topper" syndrome. She is the only single girl left in our group which is maybe one of the reasons she does this? As in, for attention?
So anyways, all eight of us regularly send emails with updates on our lives and try to find time to get together. Whenever someone writes something, CS always has to "top" it. I would complain this summer about the long hours that it was putting in the library for the bar, she would then complain about her long work hours and how much more sleep I was getting than her. I would complain about BF having to travel every week last year, she would complain about her travel and how many hotel points she has because of it. One of the mothers in our group was complaining about lack of money because of the economic downturn...CS then complained about her lack of money. Keep in mind that she is a consultant, making about $200,000 a year with no kids or pets to take care of financially. It's ridonkulous.
Her life certainly does not suck, but in addition to the "topping" of others, she just complains a lot. It's like she can't be happy with her life. I actually feel bad for her in that respect. She changed a lot (and not for the better) after getting her MBA. It's always more, more, more. There is definitely more to life than always wanting more...at least in my opinion.
At one point I thought that she would be a bridesmaid in my wedding, but now we just aren't as close. Now that I have more time (not in law school), I am making money (can't WAIT to get my first real paycheck in three years), and BF is not traveling (YAY for time to spend together during the week), I am really happy right now and want my outlook to stay positive. That doesn't mean I will stop talking to her, but hopefully her unhappy rants will not get the best of me.
3 comments:
Friends like that are kind of toxic, and maybe not even friends, at least in my case. I couldn't stand having someone constantly trying to compete with me! Ugh!
I call those people "One-uppers"! They always have to "one-up" everyone else! And they drive me absolutely nuts!
BTW...I'm stealing "redonkulous"! hehe
I agree with Laurel that these people can be toxic if you allow them to be.
I think people like that are just in bad habits--she thinks she's sympathizing (probably) but comes off as whiny and attention-grabbing. I suspect next time you hang out in person you'll be reminded of why you were friends to begin with. Some people are better friends in the flesh than long distance. Know what I mean?
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