Good news

Good news on a Monday?  When does that happen?

Today was my saline sonogram and as expected, it was not painful and over quickly.  I saw my doctor for maybe five minutes after she made me wait a while and subjected me to awkward small talk.  I know she's busy but seeing her for a total of 15 minutes since moving to IL as we are about to embark on IVF isn't instilling tons of confidence that we are going to be anything more than a number to her.

Anyway, after checking out my uterus, the doctor determined that the surgery scheduled for next Tuesday is no longer needed!  WOO HOO!!!!  She said although my fibroids are still there (size of them: 10mm and 20mm), my uterus otherwise looks perfect.

Next up?  A December 21st consult.

Lucky

Last night I had dinner with a woman that is usually part of the local RESOLVE group, but has decided not to attend anymore because after five years, she thinks that all she will do is depress people.  However, she did agree to meet with me as the facilitator of the group thought that we would get along.  After hearing people’s stories at the RESOLVE group and then this woman’s five year quest for a child, I have decided that my journey (by the way, I hate that I use that word for this- I feel like I am in an interview segment on the Bachelor) has been easier than many others.

So far CP and I haven’t gone into debt paying for infertility expenses.  At most we have probably paid $5,000 so far?  (Mostly on my fibroid surgery.)  And for our upcoming IVF, my new insurance will pay for most of the medications and the process.

I haven’t had any losses and I think that this makes a WORLD of difference.  Those of you with losses…well, I just think that you are STRONG, AMAZING ladies.

I have a normal shaped uterus, normal hormone levels, I ovulate regularly, I have open tubes, and I have two working ovaries.

CP has a bit of a sperm problem, but at least he has sperm to give.  He doesn’t have any blockages and doesn’t have to undergo surgery.

Sure I went through a painful surgery for the large fibroid, but after the pain went away, I don’t have lingering problems….just 5 incision scars on my stomach.  I wasn’t planning on wearing a bikini any time soon anyway. 

Sure I have a short luteal phase, but my friend Crinone (ugh) helps me to add progesterone to my body to lengthen my cycle.

Sure I had endometriosis, but it was only Stage 2 and I didn’t have any scarring. 

Sure I have two new fibroids in my uterus, but I’m not worried about the upcoming surgery because it is going to be SO MUCH EASIER than the last one.  And it shouldn’t sideline me for the January IVF start date.

Next month I turn 34.  Not ancient by IVF standards so we still have a little time to play with.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I feel lucky when I compare myself to others.*  And that worries me.  There are still other things that could pop up when we start the IVF process.  Right now I am blissfully unaware of those problems.  And as much as I try to tell myself not to get hopeful about IVF….well, the hope is still there.  As much as I try to tell myself that the doctors will have no idea how the medication will affect my body and thus I should almost use the first cycle it as a “test” cycle, well, of course I am still thinking that I should get pregnant.  I should know better….the logical person in me knows better.  The logical person also knows the statistics on miscarriages.  *sigh*  But the closer I get to January and as the number of birth control pills in my cabinet dwindles, the more that hope is chipping away at all  logical reasoning in my brain.

I want to believe that this is going to be the answer.  I want to finally get that positive pregnancy test.  After 2.5 years I would KILL for a positive pregnancy test. 

Please let IVF be the answer to our infertility problems.  

*Annnnnd here is where I jinx myself.

MIL visit

My mother in law has been in town since Thursday night.  While I really like my MIL, spending 6 days and 5 nights with her has been quite enough.  Because CP was traveling last week, I had her all to myself on Thursday and Friday until CP walked through the door around 9pm. 

I don’t want to be mean because I really do like her but this is a looooong trip.  I haven’t even had one hour to myself (or with CP)- other than sleeping of course- since she got here.  My hope was that yesterday CP would take his mom to the Botanic Gardens and that I could claim that I wanted to do something around the house and just get some alone time.  Nope.  My MIL decided that she wanted to help out with the home renovations so she helped me strip wallpaper in our living room.  It’s great that she helped out because she has experience with removing wallpaper, but still.  It’s definitely something that I could have figured out myself.

This has been a tiring weekend, not just because I have had to be “on” for the past six days.  I have found myself a little testy- possibly from the birth control pills?  Maybe from the same stories that are told over and over again?  (Thankfully, this phenomenon has been a little better since we moved away because there is more to “catch up” on.  If CP and I had to hear the same story about my MIL and her husband holding hands and then their cat coming over to place her paw on their hands so that she could hold hands too….well I was going to SCREAM.  We actually used to have bets on how often the story would get told in a single weekend when we would go to see them.)  I have definitely had to use my “take a couple deep breaths” technique a few times.

The bright spot of the long weekend?  Well, now the trip is almost over and we won’t see her again until some time in 2013.  Also, these:

My new slippers from the Field Museum.  They are AMAZING.  Both warm and hilarious at the same time.  They definitely make me giggle every time I look down.

BEST. PURCHASE. EVER.

Should I start wearing these to doctor visits?  :-)

A whole new yard

Those readers that have been around long enough know that CP and I like to work outside on our house.  In CT (other than taking down big trees- we obviously leave that for the professionals), we enjoyed completely overhauling the front of our house, organically trying to revive the grass on our front lawn, making and installing raised garden beds, making and installing homemade greenhouses so that we could have winter crops, and working on an amazing garden.

So when we bought our new place, we were looking forward to beautifying the outside, as well as the inside.  But as time wore on, we realized that there is so much that needs to be done....so maybe hiring professionals was the way to go.

I can honestly say that the work that our landscaper and his guys did in the past four days was nothing short of amazing.  It would have taken CP and I MONTHS to do it ourselves (especially with CP's travel schedule).

BEFORE- Front of the house.  The first weekend we chopped down the large bush on the left.  It was so big that when we would back out of the driveway we couldn't see if there was a dog, kid or adult so we were really worried that there would be a bad accident.  

AFTER- This is from a different angle, but here is the new front of the house.  I wish that the boxwoods were a little bigger and that we had the money to put some more plants in, but this will suffice for the winter.  This weekend I plan to plant tulips for the spring too.  :-)

BEFORE- Back of the house.  Yet another overgrown bush (that the seller used to meticulously TRIM WITH SCISSORS), nasty and overgrown ground cover (in the shadow), and overgrown lilac shrubs on the left.

HALFWAY- Ugly evergreen shrub is gone!  Lots of concrete pieces found in all of the ground cover/overall mess though.

AFTER- Who knew our patio was that big?  And although the lilacs look sad, they should come back just fine in the spring.

BEFORE- This was the "view" of the backyard from our sunroom and the patio.  I never understood why someone would plant four large evergreens making it close to impossible to get to the backyard.

AFTER- Ground cover, stumps (CP and I cut down the four evergreens back in August to give the dogs access to the backyard) and all of the other crap GONE.  Sod and mulch put down.  Fuzzy Britches was literally jumping up and down with excitement because now she has a place to play.

BEFORE- Everything is overgrown in the backyard.

AFTER- Holy crap I can see the neighbor's fence.

AFTER- I can see the back fence too!

BEFORE- Yep, more overgrown crap on the side of the driveway.

AFTER- A blank slate for spring.

Yes, this work did cost money but if you ask me, it was desperately needed and now the landscaping makes me happy instead of anxious (just thinking about everything that needed to be done made me tense up).  It definitely needed some TLC and the landscapers did a fantastic job.  I can't wait to fill it in with flowers and plants!!

No way to sum this one up

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I'm very happy about the results of the election, except for two things.  

1.  People of CA- WHY O WHY did you defeat the GMO labeling initiative???  I know that companies like Monsanto threw tons of money towards misleading ads but the fact that it got defeated is so disheartening!!!  Especially when most people FAVOR the labeling of GMOs.  *sigh*

2.  People of MN- really?  Michelle Bachman is still in Congress?  The same woman whose husband practices conversion therapy (trying to transform homosexuals into heterosexuals) despite not having a license to practice in the state and the same woman who claimed that the HPV vaccine caused mental retardation?  How the heck does she still have a job???

On the other hand, gay marriage is now legal and recognized in a few more states and that is really exciting.

Moving on...

I have a bunch of post ideas sitting in my email, but they are "thinking posts" and this week I just haven't felt like sitting down and writing them.  I was going to show you our new front and back yard, but Blogger is being a meanie and not allowing me to upload pictures right now.

Other random things on my mind....habits are hard to break.  Although I am on birth control and will be until the end of December, I can't stop checking every time I go to the bathroom.  Speaking of birth control, so far I haven't had any weird mood swings so that's good.  Hopefully that continues....

CP has been in LA all week but flew to New Orleans today and will be there until Friday night.  Meanwhile my mother-in-law arrives from NH tomorrow early evening so I will get to spend some time with her.  Luckily, we get along.  But I have to work on Friday so I'm not sure what I am going to do with her....maybe she can help us paint or strip wallpaper?

I'm pissed about my upcoming surgery later this month because if I didn't have it coming up, I had the chance through work to head out to the East Coast to help with the disaster efforts.  Grrrr f*cking fibroids.  CP and I agreed that we didn't want to push back the surgery.  Luckily there are tons of co-workers that are ready and willing to head out there.

First RESOLVE meeting tonight and I'm looking forward to it!  :-)

Is this my most non sequitur post ever?

Monday funnies

Today I have been slammed with trainings, emails, and conference calls so I don’t have a proper post for you.  However, I do have two funny things to brighten up your Monday.

1.  We take Buster to doggie daycare 1-2 times a week.  It’s expensive, but he gets to socialize with other dogs and comes home EXHAUSTED.  It’s well worth the money we pay.  I dropped him off as usual on Wednesday and realized that Buster would be one of the only dogs not dressed up (CP doesn’t allow me to dress up our dogs- boooo).  Thankfully, the daycare had a few extra costumes and snapped this picture.

Buster the dinosaur.  Adorable, right?   I shared it with CP on Facebook and he said that he was embarrassed for Buster, but I think that Buster is loving it.  :-)

2.  Your cooking and sex tip of the week:  If your husband is cutting up hot peppers, washes his hands a lot, but still has some of the oil/residue on his fingers, sexy time may not be the best idea.  I know that my loins only burn for CP (*groan* bad joke alert), but they usually don’t burn for 30 minutes!!

Nook books

I have continued to read a bunch of books on my Nook.  All ratings out of a possible 5 stars.

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn 

5 stars

I had heard a lot of good things about Gillian Flynn novels so I thought that I would read one of her earlier, less expensive novels to see if I liked her style of writing.  Turns out, I love it.  This was a fast-paced book that was better than a lot of mystery novels I have been reading recently.  The characters were interesting and not very likeable, but her writing somehow makes you root for them anyway.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn  

5 stars

After I raced through Dark Places, I moved on to Sharp Objects.  Another book about a woman who has a whole lot of flaws (including the need to carve words into her body), but the author handles the touchy subject well.  Like Dark Places the book has some disturbing and dark details, but to me they were fascinating.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn  

4 stars

Obviously I went on a Gillian Flynn tear this fall- her books are so fun to read and she clearly needs to write faster!  This book has been on the bestseller list for a while and I had high expectations after reading the first two.  It was still an awesome book but I actually think that the first two were better.  The first part of the book had me discussing with CP how men and women see various aspects/memories of their relationship/marriage in two totally different ways- until I hit the second part of the book.  I won’t give anything away, but BAM the second part of the book hits you and you are like WHOA.  The ending?  Spectacular.

The Mysterious Affairs at Styles by Agatha Christie

2 stars

I read a lot of Agatha Christie when I was younger and had high expectations when I downloaded the 50 best Agatha Christie novels (according to whoever put the anthology together for the Nook).  I actually found the character of Hercule Poirot to be condescending and full of himself.  I’m not sure I will read any of the other 49 books in the set…..

A Thousand Lives:  The Untold Story of Hope, Deception, and Survival at Jonestown by Julia Scheeres  

5 stars

I didn’t know much about the Jonestown massacre, but now I certainly do!  This book was absolutely fascinating- the author used recently declassified FBI documents and audiotapes to piece together a history of Jim Jones’ rise through Indianapolis, Northern CA, and finally Guyana.  I still can’t fathom why people didn’t run far, far away, but they were penniless and hopeful that Jones was truly what he purported to be.

Amberville by Tim Davys  

3 stars

A free Nook book mystery with an interesting premise- a mystery where all of the characters are stuffed animals.  However, the book lost me when it diverged from the story and went too deep into good vs. evil, mortality, and religion.  Plus, what happened to a real ending?

Enslaved by Ducks by Bob Tarte  

2 Stars

Another Free Friday Nook book- this time about a writer who kept buying, taking in, or otherwise getting roped into caring for bunnies, ducks, geese, parrots, turkeys, etc.  While it is commendable that the author and his wife would take in stray animals, they didn’t seem to educate themselves on how to take care of them.  Hopefully the author was exaggerating to try to get some laughs but I didn’t find it funny.

All Roads Lead to Austen: A Yearlong Journey with Jane by Amy Elizabeth Smith 

3 stars

Part of the way through this book I realized that it might be a good idea for me to actually READ a Jane Austen book- so I tried to read Pride and Prejudice.  Unfortunately that book was extremely boring, so I only read a little bit of it before getting back to this book.  I enjoyed the travel sections of this book (especially when the author was in Argentina because I spent a summer there in law school), but quickly read over the actual discussions of the different Austen books.

The Lotus Eaters by Tatjana Soli  

4 stars

A novice female photographer heads out to Vietnam in 1975 to find out more about the country where her brother died.  This author certainly didn’t sugarcoat what happened during the war, but there is nothing too graphic.  I know that it is fiction, but I still don’t understand why someone would put themselves in harm’s way to get a story/photograph.

The Retribution (Tony Hill & Carol Jordan #7) by Val McDermid  

4 stars

Another Free Friday mystery selection from the Nook.  This book was gory, but I actually enjoyed the characters and would probably go back and read the first 6 in the series.

Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domar

5 stars

Overall, this was a fantastic book.  From the very beginning of the book I found myself nodding along (especially when she was talking about how men and women find themselves out of step with each other on the subject of infertility).  Some interesting things that I learned in this book:  

• The two sexes respond to infertility differently (48% of women- versus 15% of men- feel like infertility is the most upsetting experience of their lives).
• Women with female-factor infertility who had increased depressive symptoms on Day 3 of their IVF cycle experienced significantly lower pregnancy rates than women who were not depressed.
• Infertile women were just as depressed in studies as patients who have heart disease, cancer, HIV-positive status, and chronic pain.  !!!!
• The author did a study of 184 women who had been trying to get pregnant for 1-2 years.  55% of the women that used mind/body techniques and 54% of the women that attended weekly support groups had take home babies within a year.  In the control group (who received no intervention), only 20% of the women had a take home baby after a year.  WOW.
• Recent studies have shown that women with a BMI over 27 don't respond as well to injectable fertility medication and have reduced pregnancy rates.  

So yeah, this was a great book.  At times I thought that she relied a bit too much on the interviews with infertile women and she definitely beat into my head with a club the necessity of mind/body techniques, but I'm sure I will be reading this book over and over again.

Have you read any good books recently that you can recommend?