The friend in question who might have been “having too much fun” has been married about a year and a half, but her husband did not join us that night because he was busy planning a bachelor party.
At first it was just a coworker putting his arm around another coworker. I haven’t done that with anyone that I work with, but she actually has coworkers her age that she hangs out with after work. So maybe that is a bit different? Then a few minutes later she was riding a motorcycle arcade game- like the one below.
Except then her coworker jumped on the back of it with her to play the game- which included leaning from side to side as you made turns.
It was weird. Awkward. Etc.
Everyone agreed that it was going too far. CP and I both said that it would not be appropriate for the other one to do that. Note: I’m happy we are on the same page about this because I would certainly NOT be okay with him doing this.
Anyway, when I went to the bathroom with her a few minutes later, I asked her about it. She said that she thinks her coworker is actually gay and that she feels like his big sister. Nothing weird going on at all. I’m not sure she convinced me- but is it even her job to convince me?
Whenever I get into a relationship, I think that I actually go out of my way to make it known to strangers that I am with someone. Granted, a coworker is not a stranger, but he knows that she has a husband and is still really touchy-feely with her. And she allows it. Does she just want attention? Are there already problems in their marriage? Is there something actually going on with them? I can’t imagine her actually doing it in front of us, but then again, she only really talks to me out of everyone in the group….and I don’t keep in touch with her husband.
I’m not sure what to think. I mean, in a way I did kind of the only thing that I thought I could do (asking her about it in the bathroom) being that she lives in DC and I’m up in CT. It’s really not my place to do anything if something is going on, but would consider her a sh*tty person for cheating on her husband.
Have you ever been put in this situation? How would you deal with it?
3 comments:
I think the only other thing I might have done in your situation is ask her whether she'd be behaving the same way if her husband was around. If she were to answer with an honest yes, then I'd believe her. And if not ... well, there's not much I could do about it, but at least I'd give her something further to think about. People are going to live their lives whether you're monitoring them or not ... she's an adult and has to be allowed to make her own decisions. Your role is to decide whether, based on those decisions, you still feel comfortable being her friend.
wow...i agree with you. when i walk into a room of strangers that know nothing about me, i make it known, not necessarily that i am with someone, but i never give off a vibe that i'm NOT with someone. to me, that is my obligation. if that question is left in anyone's mind, then i have not been fair.
i am very cautious about going out with co-workers. When I was younger and single, there were many late nights and a lot for bars but, I always knew my limit and did not put myself in questionable situations.
Now that i am married, I don't go out that much with co-workers anymore. If I do, I am very cautious.
I hope that your friend does not find herself in a compromising situation.
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