This month will hopefully be the month of our first and only IUI (ha- if it were only that easy)!
I came back from vacation and started my monthly visitor soon afterwards. On cycle days 2 through 6 I took 50 mg of Clomid, which seemed to have no effect on me (aka no crazy hormone issues). Starting tomorrow (day 10) my doctor has me using the Clearblue Easy “Easy Read” Ovulation Test with Smileface Indicator for five days to predict my ovulation (it might not come as late as usual because of the medication).
Per my fertility clinic, I will be testing in the late afternoon/early evening and will just have to restrict my fluids for at least two hours prior to testing to get the same results as a morning test. Once the test shows a color changes, I will be inseminated the morning after. CP will head into the clinic that morning to give his “sample” and I will head in three hours after that for the turkey basting process.
I want to be excited for this. But I worry that I am not going to ovulate since I didn’t last month (crossing fingers the Clomid works). I worry that CP is going to have to travel next week when I need him here to do his part. I worry that something is going to come up at work making it difficult for me to get away to get inseminated.
There are a whole lot of things that I can’t control. Even if everything falls into place and we can do the IUI our odds are not great (10-12%). So in order to save myself from more worry wrinkles, I have not really been thinking about it too much. It has been pretty easy because I have been so busy with friends, the warm weather, the dogs, work, the garden, etc.
Not being able to try for the last 7+ months has left me feeling weird. The lack of pressure has been nice, but by not focusing on it I feel out of it. It’s hard to explain. It’s not like I don’t want to be pregnant, but the urge has subsidized somewhat. I feel more detatched from the whole process. It’s like I am going through the motions, despite this being a first time we are doing an IUI. Not quite sure why this is (trying to save myself in advance from the pain of yet another failed month?), but it is what it is.
3 comments:
Good luck, good luck, a million times, good luck!
I am sending you all my prayers and good wishes.
Good luck and think positively. We are starting in the summer!
I don't think it's surprising at all that you're feeling removed from the process. The fact that there is a process at all changes the way we think about getting pregnant. The fact that it's your first time going through the process and you have some doubts about whether it will work only compounds the fact that there isn't much feeling that's a part of it. I'm thinking positively for you and CP.
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