Despite not trying to think about getting pregnant/having kids too much, sometimes I can’t help myself. Maybe I am already a bit hormonal in advance of my period expected on Monday, but there have been at least a few times in the past few days where I found myself thinking of the (maybe? Hopefully?) future. Maybe is it because I had my progesterone test yesterday. I wonder when I will get my test results back?
*As I was in the pool on Wednesday night I was thinking that if I ever get pregnant that the pool would be a perfect place for me to get my exercise. Then after giving birth, I could imagine bringing her or him to the pool. First to introduce the baby to water, later to swim lessons. And if we had a really active kid then swimming would be a great way to tire them out!
*Last night CP was calling his sister to catch up. His niece got on the phone to thank us for the books that I picked out for her birthday. Then his nephew got on the phone to tell him about money he had raised from his class after reading some book. It was adorable to hear him talk to the kids. I hope that he gets a chance to be a dad because he is going to be a great one. <--this sentence almost just made me cry
*Watching “One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime (huh? I actually watch a show on Lifetime?). It is fascinating show. Watching it makes me wonder what CP would be like when I went into labor. Would he cry after meeting our child for the first time (he is not a crier)? Watching the grandparents react to meeting their grandchild for the first time= priceless. I can just picture my mom. But I can also picture their disappointment if CP and I can't have kids. Of course they would never SAY that to us, but my sister isn't having kids any time soon....so I am their hope for a grandchild.
But these thoughts can be dangerous. I’m not sure how to stop having them, but I have a feeling that I shouldn’t dwell on them. Sorry for the depressing Friday post, but that’s what is on my mind.
Do me a favor and brighten my day by telling me something you are looking forward to this weekend.
*Update: I can't stop watching the videos and reading about the earthquake/tsunamis. So horrifying.*
3 comments:
You are a 'thinker' like me so I can totally relate! It's easy to tell yourself not to dwell on something, but then I feel like I'm dwelling too much on the "not trying to dwell on it" thoughts. It's a vicious cycle.
I'm looking forward to some peace and quiet this weekend. And maybe catching up on some sleep (although, I say that now and will be wide awake on Saturday morning).
Daylight savings time is this weekend so I will 'lose' an hour. But, this just means we are one step closer to spring :-)
I think there's some truth to the idea that when we say something is off limits, we want to do it that much more. Maybe you should allow your brain to go where it wants to go. Embrace the thoughts. Allow yourself to be excited about pregnancy and parenting. You may have a long journey ahead of you, but that shouldn't strip you of the all the anticipation.
i have to keep actively tearing myself away from the video streams of japan because OH MY GOD THE HORROR. gaaaah.
as for what i'm looking forward to this weekend - we have reservations at a super exclusive old-time speakeasy, where you have to dress up fancy to go drink complicated cocktails, and you knock on an unmarked door to get in.. :)
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