I am a very curious person. I’ll admit that I do like to “stalk” people on Facebook. It’s always interesting to see what people are up to these days if you haven’t seen them in a long time. Being bored at work yesterday I went looking for my ex boyfriend. I was curious if he ever finished grad school and where he was working. We are not Facebook friends anymore because at some point he couldn’t handle seeing CP in my pictures, hearing that I was happy with someone else, etc.
Not able to find him on Facebook, I googled his name and finally found him on LinkedIn. Most of his profile was private so I had to “friend” him to see what he was up to. He accepted and then sent a short email saying that he hoped that I was doing well. I ended up emailing him back and asking how he was doing, where he was working, etc. I received a LONG email about the past couple of years, his unhappiness over choices he has made, student loan debt and how he is currently trying to finish his thesis/couch surfing while job hunting.
I replied with some suggestions as he is looking for work in an industry similar to mine and told him about buying a house in CT, getting a puppy, hating my job, etc. He responded with part of the email bashing homeownership and dogs. That’s fine if it is not your cup of tea, but no reason to bash my choices in life. His response basically snapped me back into reality. Why did I contact him anyway? It’s been YEARS since I have talked to him or even thought about him. My original email was innocent in nature- bored at work and curious as to how life is turning out for him.
But if CP found out that I contacted him, that might not go over so well (CP is not controlling- this is just the ex that was trying to get me back after I started dating CP). If he is going to be all depressed over the way his life turned out and bash my life, then why do I need to talk to him anyways? So I deleted the email and won’t respond. But I feel guilty for contacting him in the first place.
Chalk it up to a life lesson that I should have learned years ago…..
Anyone else do something stupid like this with an ex?
5 comments:
Not since I've been married but I definitely had some dumb moments in my dating years! A LOT of moments. I think for me it's easy to be reminded of what a loser my ex is because we have mutual friends. It's always a good self-esteem booster though to stalk them once in a while :)
I'm actually friends with one of my exes on Facebook, and I'm friends with his brother and sister! We still keep in touch regularly, but he's married and I'm newly engaged so it's pretty much harmless.
I think that curiosity is perfectly normal, and it's easy to satisfy it these days with Facebook and other social media!
Oh definitely! I had an ex boyfriends new girlfriend contact me....for some reason I decided to tell her all about him. She politely thanked me and said she would tell him I said hi. I was terrified...I mean I thought I was helping this girl by warning her and all she did was throw me under the bus!
we've all had dumb moments. Don't reply, end the linked-in friendship and block his email.
I have stalked people before but I don't do it as much.
I'm still friends with my ex so I don't have to stalk him but sometimes I'm curious about old friends.
Post a Comment