So close

I can see the finish line- 9:45am on Friday is the ultrasound. After I wrote this post, I decided to take Cristy's advice (today you are pregnant) and remember my motto throughout all of this. 

“If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it doesn’t happen, you’ve wasted your time. And if you are caught up in the worst case scenario and it does happen, you’ve lived it twice.”

I am doing all that I can do- staying away from unpasteurized cheese, not eating sushi, not drinking, etc. I am trying to remember the first trimester tips my RE gave me from when I was carrying Izzy...although I am not following the one about not carrying heavy things. CP was away on a work trip for part of last week and leaves again tonight for a trip so when I am home alone with Izzy I do have to carry her at times. I try to make Izzy do more by herself, but for instance she can't climb up and into her crib so I do have to pick her up. So far no bleeding so I hope that I am not doing any harm (a quick google search showed that most mothers still pick up their toddlers when they are pregnant). 

I have had a few nose bleeds which I had in my pregnancy with Izzy, just a little later on. Two mornings I have had a bit of nausea when I waited too long between waking and eating something. The constipation hasn't gone away but eating prunes has helped a little bit. I still have a bit of a crampy feeling and have been feeling a bit dizzy when I stand up from a crouching or kneeling position. I also feel like Buster has been following me around and being a bit more needy recently? Maybe he can sense what is going on.

Otherwise, that's it. Today, if I ovulated on Day 16 which would be my norm, I am 6 weeks, 3 days along. Just trying to stay positive as at this point, there is nothing that I can do and I will be finding out more information soon enough.

Microblog Mondays: Flashbacks

The past few days I have been in locations that made me flashback to my two previous pregnancies. On Friday afternoon, I picked Izzy up from daycare early to take her to her 2 year appointment. I realized that one of the last times we were there and with her doctor (15 month appt) is when I got a call from the nurse telling me that my FET pregnancy was not viable. It was not a great memory, but I did have to remind myself that I wouldn't be getting any calls from the nurse while I was in this appointment.

On Saturday night we had a delicious dinner at a Thai restaurant with friends and then went out to Second City. I recognized two women in the cast as cast members that we saw last time we came- which was when I was pregnant early on with Izzy and worried about the SCH. In stark difference to the flashback at the doctor's office, this was a nicer flashback to think about....obviously because it resulted in a successful pregnancy. We didn't tell our friends this weekend that I am pregnant, so it also resulted in a cute eyebrow wiggle from CP when recalling that memory because here we are in early pregnancy once again!



Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Go here.

2 Years Old!

I can't believe it- Izzy is now two years old!

Height: 3' 1.5" (99.83%)- WOW was I shocked today at the doctor's office. Izzy is a giant! No wonder she towers over the other kids in daycare!

Weight: 31 lbs (90.88%)

New Tricks: Last month she started to recognize the difference between big things and small things. She doesn't do it consistently, but Izzy can count from 1 to 10 by herself. She can also sing the "ABC song" but hilariously rushes through the "L,M,N,O,P" part.

Sometimes Izzy need to blow off some energy before bed so we tell her to do the maniac. Essentially it is CP and I singing the chorus of "She's a Maniac" from Flashdance while Izzy and I pump our arms and legs furiously. Izzy gets really into it.

Cheese!

Language: Izzy loves pointing at something and saying "That's a (whatever it is- pumpkin, car, dog, etc.)". She is starting to use "mine" instead of "Izzy's car, toy, book, etc." which makes me sad. "Izzy's toy" was so much cuter than "mine." She loves to repeat throw-off phrases that I use like "Let's go kiddo!"

Personality: Starting to have issues with sharing. Still mute around strangers.

Teeth: Two year molars popping through on the bottom. We noticed drooling earlier this month and Izzy having some sleep issues- hopefully the two top ones will come in soon and we will be down with this nonsense!

Favorite Toy: It continues to be her kitchen. Whenever she gets a chance she is "boiling" water or bringing us food on plates.

Giving Buster "dinner"

Favorite Book: This month it varied a lot but she has enjoyed the few hand-me-down Dora the Explorer books that we got from a neighbor. Plus now she likes to say "Hola" and "Vamanos" so I call it a win because she is speaking Spanish? :-)

It has been pretty amazing to watch Izzy go over to her book bins, pick out the book she wants, and say "Mommy read (whatever the book is called)." I know that she is not reading the title and simply has them memorized but I still think it's impressive!

Essential reading hat

Playing around while on a fall walk

Sleeping Habits: This month it was a bit harder to put Izzy to bed. Instead of just sort of crying for a minute after we left the room, this month she started to hysterically cry when we left. Sometimes it was because she needed a tissue (stop crying then!), sometimes she just wanted to rock for a few minutes ("sing sunshine Mommy"). Luckily this didn't last long but Izzy is becoming well-versed in stall tactics ("need tissue Mommy", "use potty Mommy", "need medicine", etc). She loves taking books into her crib with her which she of course can't read because it's too dark in her room. This month she also slept in on the weekend until 7:30 a bunch of times so that was great!

Excited to go play in the snow

Eating: Izzy loved Halloween candy. She got to eat a bite-size Milky Way bar, a bite of a Reeces Pieces, and a lollipop. Then she promptly forgot about her candy.

Izzy's first bite of a chocolate bar

Diapers: Size 5 Seventh Generation during the day, Pampers Baby Dry size 6 at night.

Clothes: almost all 3T clothes. Size 8 toddler shoe. 

Illness: I thought she might have croup early in the month, but it turned out to just be a regular cold. The winter colds are starting!

Other highlights: Izzy's second Halloween.

Mooooo

Certainly not a highlight but this month we had to leave a restaurant due to a tantrum by Izzy. I tried to take her outside to calm her down but it didn't really work so we decided to head home instead. It was a doozy!

Izzy was super excited about our first snow storm of the season. She couldn't wait to get outside to play in the snow.

Good finds

Let's talk about something else, shall we? As the holiday and winter season approaches, I wanted to share some of my good finds recently.

I was in the market for a new colder weather jacket...not to replace my huge North Face jacket, but one that would be a good in between jacket (I had been wearing my ski jacket which worked but I don't want to completely wear it out). I searched online and thought that the LL Bean jacket here would work- and I was right. Lightweight but able to withstand wind and cold it was perfect! It also folds up into itself which is helpful for packing purposes. I bought this one:

Staying with LL Bean (because I love their high quality and the fact that they stand behind their products), I picked up these gloves at the same time and I am obsessed! They are so soft and warm! 

If you are like me, your lips get very chapped in wintertime, even if you put Chapstick on. I loved the Mary Kay lip scrub that I bought years ago from a friend but didn't want to try to find a consultant so I checked out Amazon. Sure enough this scrub came up and It works great!

Although the marketing picture is a little scary....

Recently CP and I have been eating less meat...partly as a way to save money and partly because it is healthier. If you are looking for a good vegetarian cookbook, we have enjoyed cooking from the America's Test Kitchen book:

Need something to binge watch? CP and I blew through "Master of None" the new Netflix show. 

Need a good Podcast to listen to? I highly enjoy either the Beat Infertility podcast, Jesse vs. Cancer, or Limetown. At times Limetown has annoyed me because the characters are overacting but the concept is super cool and it keeps me very entertained.

As always I was NOT asked to review nor paid to post about these items. I just wanted to share my good finds!

Have you found anything good recently?

Making myself crazy

Sometimes I wish that I didn't have a blog and therefore couldn't look up the specifics of my other two pregnancies. I went back in my archives and instead of now feeling good about this pregnancy, I am now worried.

1. Barely any symptoms.
I didn't have a lot of symptoms with Izzy but I at least had sore boobs. This time, other than some constipation and some dizziness/out of breath moments, nothing....just like the miscarriage this spring.

*Counterpoint- every pregnancy is different. Just because I didn't have sore boobs with my miscarriage doesn't mean that I will have another miscarriage because my boobs aren't sore again.

2. Low progesterone.
With Izzy my progesterone was really high- like in the 60s. This spring and on Monday? In the teens. While that is still in the "normal" range, is my body not making enough progesterone because it knows this is not a viable pregnancy again?

*Counterpoint- I was on more progesterone drugs with Izzy. I just started taking Endometrin on Monday night.

*Counter-counterpoint- I was on even more drugs after my frozen transfer. However, with a frozen transfer you have to supplement the progesterone even more because your body isn't making any on its own.

3. Beta number

Not knowing exactly when I ovulated is killing me! I had to ovulate at some point before Day 20 (usually it's around Day 17). But if I ovulated on Day 17 my beta number should be higher than if I ovulated on Day 19. 

*Counterpoint- 1400 could be a good beta number depending on where I started and when I ovulated. Who knows?

See how you can make yourself crazy? I have valid points on each side and yet, unless I start bleeding early, there is no way of knowing what is going on in my uterus and whether this is a viable pregnancy until Dec 11th. AND the bummer is that I can't go see my RE for the ultrasound because my referral ran out. My primary care physician doesn't see the need for her to make the new referral as there is no medical need. So instead I had to make an appointment with the local hospital for an early ultrasound...which I'm sure will be fine but the whole thing has just thrown me off. I did a bunch of calculations this morning and figured that I probably COULD have an earlier ultrasound but next week CP would only be able to make a Friday appointment.

Maybe this just means that next Monday I should take another pregnancy test to see if it moves from 2-3 weeks to 3-4 weeks. That would at least give me a clue...

Thank goodness I have a crazy weekend to look forward to and a crazy work week next week. Hopefully it will keep me distracted from all of these thoughts running through my head.

Izzy's birthday weekend

When your birthday falls near a holiday, the celebration starts early!

Wednesday
CP was out of town until Wednesday night so after I got let out of work early, I picked up Izzy and we ran some errands. One of them was to Party City so that we could get her birthday balloons and a cake topper. While in the store I decided to get her a helium balloon as well and it was hilarious how picky she was. She finally liked one of the balloons and we got it into the car with no problem. However, when we got home the string wasn't tied tightly enough to the balloon and while Izzy and I held the string, the balloon floated up into the sky. Izzy started hysterically crying.

Yes I am the bad mother that took a picture of my daughter crying 

After quickly trying to get some dinner into Izzy (where she mostly cried about the balloon), we headed back to the store to complain. Luckily the same teenager was working and gave us a new balloon for free. Despite saying that she tied it tightly this time, I found that it would have flown away as well had I not been holding onto the balloon. Damn teenagers. Izzy was traumatized from the experience telling CP about her balloon "fly away", "Izzy sad", "other balloon" for 30 minutes after he got home (she also recounted the story to my parents the following day).

Back and home and happy with the second balloon

Thursday
We woke up, packed up the car, and drove out to my parents' place in MI. My mom had already done a lot of prep work on the food for the day so CP helped a bit but mostly we could relax and entertain Izzy.

Entertaining= Izzy outside playing in mud and water

Otherwise we watched some football (ugh the Eagles) and had a delicious Thanksgiving meal.


Friday

Friday was another relaxing day full of outside walks and fun.

Izzy also enjoyed helping Grandma put together an apple pie (we were too stuffed the night before to make it and eat it!).

Saturday

My sister and her fiance arrived Friday late afternoon so the house was a bit smaller with 6 adults, 1 kid, and 3 dogs. We had decided ahead of time to celebrate Izzy's birthday a day early with everyone.

Izzy rocking her "2" tshirt that I ordered earlier in the week. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime!

Izzy's favorite foods for lunch- hot dogs, avocado, and milk.

After lunch we had Izzy open presents before eating some birthday cake.

Izzy's somewhat scary bunny cake. Don't worry, we took off the veggies before slicing into the cake. :-)

Izzy refused to nap that day so she had extra time to play with her new toys.

Playing with a new toy.

Sunday
Sunday was Izzy's actual birthday so I put balloons in her Pack n' Play right after she woke up. While we were at the store on Wednesday Izzy was adamant that she wanted GREEN balloons.

We had a nice breakfast with my parents at a local cafe and then had to quickly pack up the car. The entire weekend Izzy was obsessed with hanging out and playing with Grandma (and to a lesser extent Grandpa). I think that it wore my mom out!

Once home, CP took Izzy to the park while I did laundry, then he came back to quickly pack and unfortunately leave for a work trip. Since Izzy napped in the car, there was no afternoon nap so we went to the grocery store and then I took her to the park again.

Probably her favorite part of the day was jumping on bubble wrap. She found this fun and hilarious.

Izzy and I ended the day with a cupcake (she picked the one with green frosting). 

She got it all over herself so it also became bath day and I allowed her to use the bath crayons that I got a few months back. She thoroughly enjoyed herself.

Izzy really needs a haircut

I can't believe that Izzy is already two years old! Time flies when you are having fun with your amazing kid.

OMG part 2

Thanks for all of your comments yesterday. I sit here still incredulous that I, of all people, am currently pregnant without the help of any doctors.

My beta came back yesterday at 1400, which my nurse seemed happy with. I did a little googling and it seems to be a good number. Based on my last period and the knowledge that I ovulated sometime before Day 20 of my cycle, I look to be 5 weeks along. My progesterone level is at 16 which is fine, but my nurse said that I could supplement with Endometrin just in case. (I figure that I already have it on hand so I might as well.)

My nurse suggested an ultrasound next Monday but I pushed back a little. Since we don't know what day I ovulated I could be 6 weeks along that day and therefore should see everything (fetal pole, gestational sac, yolk sac, heartbeat, etc.), but I could also be a day or two less. So I decided to wait until Friday the 11th (I know it is going to KILL ME). This past spring was hard, having to go back to get more ultrasounds because maybe it was slightly too early, and then hearing bad news over and over. Instead of prolonging that, I would rather just know for sure with one ultrasound appointment.

So now the waiting game starts.....